biebsluver1997 - Tumblr blog

[biebsluver1997]

Funny things People thought about me

I was thinking back to when I was in high school. To some of the funny things people thought about me here’s a list.

1: I was dating my now ex best guy friend. Because of how close we were.

2: That I smoked/drank, when I didn’t touch a beer till I was 19.

3: That I was a bitch, cause I had a resting bitch face lmao.

4: That I was a hoe, cause every girls boyfriend wanted me.

5: That I was a smartass, when I just liked to give people shit.

6: That I was good in bed, when that answer no one would find out cause I’m still a virgin.

All these things are funny.

[biebsluver1997]

Been Forever..

Hey guys! 

I know it has been so long since I’ve wrote on here. I just wanted to say hey! and Happy Black month! also another thing it’s just a few weeks till my idol Justin Bieber turns 27! and 2 months till I turn 24! things have been crazy. last time I was here I forget what I said. But I have a support worker now, she’s gotten me better with writing. I guess it’s been from auditing a course she did with newspaper stuff. She gave me some homework she did, I did it myself with some help from my dad (props to him) 

Recently I accidentally went over my credit card totally (oopsie) I’m paying that off. But that’s not the end of it. Some fraud got ahold of my credit card number. So there was 3 charges on it, that I didn’t make. The good thing that came outta that was I “thought” my restrained relationship with my aunt would improve. It did!....for like a day! I texted her about my support workers dumbo pet rat biting me. 

I kept saying “i’m not feeling well” cause your girl had her woman stuff. My aunt decided to ask my mom why I kept saying it. Like can’t you keep that to yourself? I’m saying it cause I’m in pain. (duh!) But since I tried for years to have a relationship with my aunt. At age 23 now. I officially give up.

Today I got my new credit card. Which I will be more careful with!...(imagine someone get’s my VISA again haha, just kidding it won’t be funny) Which being careful means watching how much I spend. Paying off the stuff I already have on it.

That’s where I’m gonna leave this for now. I’m tired, it’s currently 1:39 am goodnight.

[biebsluver1997]

Disappeared?

Hey guys, y’all are prob wondering...where the fuck did this person go? 

I went no where, I took a little break but I’m back now. I’m sick with a sinus infection so perfect time to come back. One problem, idk what to blog about aha.

[biebsluver1997]

Blog’s, blogging more?

My friend and I today were talking about blog’s. I’ve decided I want to start one. 

What will I write on it? It’ll be about my life. It will have different topics on it. Since I’m sleepy right now I’m thinking about what I’ll write on it still.

When am I starting it? Idk when I’m starting it.

Are you gonna promote it? Yes I am. Except not on Facebook, but my other social medias (tik tok, instagram, twitter, snap) i’ll be putting it on. 

Are you going to get help on it? Yes I am, my friend is a good writer. We both have gifts, but she’s going to help me with it.

My dream is to become a professional basketball player, writing is a back up thing. I do have hobbies too like skateboarding, photography, guitar.

[biebsluver1997]

Controlling is what you year, whenever I want to do something you whisper in my ear “it’s dangerous out there” 

As a little girl you told me to shine, to be bright to be beautiful and I’d be alright. But now it feels like you’re holding me back, from what I can become.

[biebsluver1997]

Today my cousin got married. But due to covid I wasn’t able to attend the wedding. So I watched it on tv with my family. When I saw my cousin coming down the isle in her wedding dress, I got all emotional. When we were kids we’d play with dolls and have boyfriends. We’d play house, I’d be the baby and she’d treat me like her daughter.

I looked up to her a lot! She had a strong mind. Even as children. She was a romantic, as we got older she’d be reading different love novels. I’d look at them being like eww! Cause she 3 years old then me. She’s 26 and I’m 23. So there’s a bit of a couple years age difference. So while she began reading romantic novels I wasn’t even at that process yet.

But eventually I did. When I was 10 I asked my cousin who was 13 how do you know if a boy likes you. Now today I know why she was so rude about answering the question. She had just broken up with her first boyfriend, so her heart was hurting. But being 10 I was like you’re so rude! But she told me they make fun of you or stare at you a lot.

I remember this so clearly cause it was at my Nana’s house for a sleepover. I asked her why her and her then boyfriend broke up. She said she didn’t know, but that he just began ignoring her. I thought “that’s rude of a boy to do that” but I was a kid. My cousin was just in her first teen year.

We got older and we drifted apart sadly. Life happened my cousin started getting jobs while I was in high school figuring out stuff. But at the age of 15 she made me promise her not to date until I was older. Also not to have sex until I was married, she said if I broke that promise she’d kill me. There was many attempts about almost dating boys. But nothing ever happened. Till this day I keep my promise. My cousin kept hers as well.

Today August 15, 2020 she got married to her husband. She’s 26 I’m 23 still single never had a boyfriend, nor first kiss or anything. But she’s gonna be having sex since she’s married now. I’m proud of her. I know I’m still young. The right man will come for me someday.

[biebsluver1997]

Sibling Relationships & Goals

People are always telling me I’m blessed to have the relationship, I have with my brother. Truth is the only reason I have it is because growing up it’s just, the way my brother and I were. We’re total opposites, my sibling’s a big nerd also into computers, he games, he’s very tech savvy! When meanwhile with, I learned from him all the stuff I know about computers. My dad and him both have jobs in computers. But my brother it’s funny he makes more money then my dad. My brother Sibling Relationships & Goals works on lines with alcohol. My dad is fixes machines for a living. My mom just stay’s home taking me wherever. 

The way I’m wired is, I’m good at sports, photography, journalism, music. I taught myself basketball tricks I’m just naturally athletic. I take good photos I just have that artistic eye. Basically I’m creative, my brother isn’t. 

But we do have one thing in common. We were raised by the same parents, we’re both very kind, super funny, love to have a good time, love being with family/friends, have high values. There’s more but that’s some. 

My brother and I aren’t goals, we’ve just worked on our relationship over the years. I was bullied a kid so my brother would always stick up for me. Till I got somewhat more confidence to stick up for, myself fighting back the bullies in high school. 

The thing is when people, in your life leave, try to destroy you. That’s where siblings come in. For 23 years I’ve always wanted to just, not be like other siblings which is not having the best relationship/hating each other. 

I always wanted to get along with my brother, no matter how jealous of him I am sometimes. Whenever he get’s success he lets me join in, because he’s shy/not one for attention.

So along with my mom keeping us close, a relationship with my older brother I always wanted. There’s a saying when you can’t count on friends, family always has a door open. That door open is my brother. 

I know I haven’t posted a lot, it’s because I’ve been busy. I really like this piece of writing I did.

[biebsluver1997]

Young Love

My best friend has a girlfriend and he literally dropped all social media. Like just because you got a girlfriend now doesn’t mean you have to drop EVERYTHING for them! Like you can still communicate with the outside world. I don’t want to text your girlfriend (who is my best friend too) just to talk to you. Like you need stuff of your own too. What happens if you both break up? What’s gonna happen then? Don’t make love make you do crazy things. 

[biebsluver1997]

Friendships

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. That’s because I’ve been going through things, entering new chapters in my life. 

About 3 days ago now, my ex best friend who was like a sister to me. She saw a Facebook message I sent her after we hung out. I’m in this place, where I’m like fuck shit life’s short just get on with it. So instead of waiting any longer I asked her basically to be my friend again, to start in a new chapter non drama. Surprisingly she didn’t say no she said yes. After I read that message, I was like omg we’re friends again. So my ex best friend is now back in my life. I feel like the hole in my heart, has been filled up again. 3 days ago we hung out with another friend we pet dumbo rats. 

I liked it. But I’m just happy I have this person back in my life. I was heartbroken for a while but my heart’s healed. But it doesn’t mean that I’m not scared of being hurt again, I’m scared but you learn from heartbreak. 

[biebsluver1997]

Friendship Heartbreak

It’s been a while since I posted here. I thought it’d be a good place to air out my feelings. 

Recently like two days ago I broke up with one of my best friends. We were best friend’s for 7 years. People say if you’re friends for more then 7 years you’re friends with that person for a lifetime. I call it absolute bullshit cause my friendship ended. 

I was the one to end it. In friendships if someone’s truly your friend especially if they’re like a sibling to you, they never put you second. My friend we’ll call him Jim he was the kind of person to always be there for someone. I gave him a lot of advice but he’d be up for anything. 

We met when I was 16 I was in grade 11 in high school. Jim happened to go to the same high school as me. I thought he was a weirdo at first but we became friends. Through years our bond became so strong, till two days ago when he decided not to care for me. Putting my other friend first making me second.

After all I’ve done for him he decided to treat me bad, making me end the friendship. I feel heartbroken, sad, depressed. This is the second time my heart’s been broken, the first time was with another friend of mine. Whom I want to be friends with again, and Kaitlyn we’ll call her. Has been there for me, understanding me. 

It sucks when someone hurts you, when they break your heart. I’m sorry to everyone I’m being a little rude humor’d with lately. It’s how I’m dealing with pain.  

[biebsluver1997]

Corona virus - how I’ve been dealing with it.

This virus honestly has got me sick of behavior. People running to store to stock up to get toilet, to the point of it selling out. Its becoming ridiculous. I don’t understand people really...as for me. My anxiety is up high with corona going around. However I’m not going to be racist like other people, saying “Asian people are so stupid, Chinese should’ve handled things better!” yes I get it mistakes were made. China should’ve handled things better, but we’re all human shit happens. 

I’m from Ontario, Canada but my city hasn’t gone on lock-down. Justin Trudeau just said if you’ve come back from somewhere, where it’s located self isolate. For 14 days. The places it hits, are populated area’s. My city is big, but it’s spread out. Nothing really happens down here anyway honestly. Out of privacy, I won’t say my city but it’s the most southern you can go in Canada. 

I’m doing the best I can with this virus going around, oh I forgot we’re suppose to social distance too. So if we’re out, we need to be 6ft away from each other. I hope people are doing that. 

idk what else to write, cause I have a sinus headache. No I am not sick with the virus. 

[biebsluver1997]

Back to writing on here?

So corona virus has hit in some area’s in my country. It hasn’t hit my county yet, but schools are still closed till April 5, everyone’s pretty much going crazy around here. What makes me laugh the most is, toilet paper/paper towels are being sold out everywhere. It’s pretty hilarious, convid-19 isn’t funny. But in this scary time, it’s good to put humor in things! 

As to my title am I back to writing on here? For now yes I am. I guess this will be another escape for me as corona virus talk is literally everywhere. I mean even places, around me are being shut down! Cause of the big scare. Personally I’m a little afraid, but I don’t go out much anyways. Health care says to stay home, to not go out unless you have to. 

So I’m doing that. I’m only going out if it’s hanging with friends at their houses. But in the mean time, I’m doing things like this. I really don’t know what I’m talking about. But might as well start this up again. 

I do not have tumblr on my phone. So whenever I’m on my laptop I’ll update and yeah. Also!...I got a new phone! I got an iPhone 8 in Gold 64 gb. I have my own plan for it now, I’m no long sharing with my brother. 

Bye for now. 

[biebsluver1997]

hey...

I know I said I wasn’t gonna post here anymore, and I’m not I’m just bored right now. 

[biebsluver1997]

Hey...

It’s been a long time, since I updated my blog. I’m sorry I’ve just forgot about updating it. Plus I’ve been dealing with a lot in my life right now. I’ve been dealing with that, now it’s around Christmas. Thank god I’m done Christmas shopping, but I’m the woman of the house now cause of certain reasons. My anxiety stuff like that. It’s been a bit, cause I’m helping around the house a lot.

But that’s not only what I wanted to say...

When I first started doing this blog, I liked it. I aired stuff off my chest. But I’ve decided to not do this blog anymore, and just have a tumblr account. Even though I barely use my tumblr account too lmao. But I’m not going to stop blogging. I’m going in the new year 2020, to start on my support worker’s blog. We’re both writer’s, she actually has published books. All I’ve published was a news article, for this place I attend. She’s also a lot older then me too. She’s 48, I’m 22 and a half. But I’m not doing blogs here anymore. I’m going to her’s. 

I had fun doing blogs here. But it’s just time to say bye. 

[biebsluver1997]

So sorry..

I’m sorry I haven’t updated. I got busy, helping my mom with cancer. I’m now tired cause I had to get up early for a psychiatrist appointment. He said he’s proud how I’m handling things. And an ex best friend of mine and I are talking even more now. Things are looking up for us both.

[biebsluver1997]

Life update

So one of my friends on Twitter blocked me. But you know what, I’m done with their ass. Our friendship was up and down. They were on me for not supporting what they were. Meanwhile they were downing what I was, calling Christianity stupid. I tried to make the friendship last, but they just suddenly unfollowed me, blocking me. Probably cause I’m not active, but I have a freaking mother with cancer. I’m taking care of her, plus suffering with depression, anxiety. Having to deal with that at the same time, isn’t easy. To my ex friend, I tried I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you. But I’m done.

But my ex best friend and I are talking, she wants to be friends again. I agreed to take things slow. My ex guy friend apologized to me, I said I don’t trust him yet. I’m going to Sky Zone with my worker, her other two clients and my friend who’s a girl. So that’ll be fun!

[biebsluver1997]

Sup?

I’ve been so bad at running this blog lmao! Last night my ex best friend/acquaintance messaged me saying she tried hanging herself, cause she was tired of living. She told me why, basically lot’s of people hurt her. I won’t go into why. I’m just sad she wanted to do that, I’ve known this girl since I was 2 almost 3 years old. She was my first friend, first best friend. We had a big fight which caused her mom to end our friendship in middle November 2017 or maybe 2018? It was a horrible fight. Which made me depressed for a while. But things were just horrible anyway. We made up but we’re not friends. But I wish I could’ve been there for her so she wouldn’t want to hang herself. But one of her issues is, she doesn’t talk her feelings out to anyone. Like even when I was friends with her I’d be like say what’s wrong. Cause she’d be silent, but made sure everyone was happy. Meanwhile she wanted to die. It’s just sad. I ask for prayers for her to have strength. Her birthday’s coming on, September 16th is her birthday. I want her to make it to 22.