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Heal. Your mom may never apologize to you, because she has conditioned herself to believe that she did right by you. She hasn’t healed.
Heal. Your father may never apologize to you, because he can only see what he’s done right. He hasn’t healed.
Heal. Your family members may never apologize to you, because toxicity is what they were raised on. They haven’t healed.
Heal. That “friend” may never apologize to you, because he/she isn’t sorry. He/she hasn’t healed.
If/when they reach their healing, they may seek your forgiveness. Be so healed that it won’t even matter.
Heal. For you. You owe it to yourself.
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The best partners know these magic phrases:
"I don't want to make any assumptions, so I'm asking you first."
"I can't text now, but I promise I'll call as soon as l'm able to."
"I need an hour to think; I want to bring my best self to this talk."
"I'm really glad you spoke up; I had no idea this was bothering you. Thank you for saying something!"
"I'm not sure how to solve this, but let's figure it out together."
"I always want to ask you directly instead of assuming ! know."
"Ok, it makes sense to me why you'd be upset about that."
"What can we do differently, so this doesn't keep happening?"
"I want us both to feel good about how we address this issue."
"If it doesn't feel good for both of us, let's work together to figure out what will."
Take my advice: Apply these phrases in your life to develop a better relationship with your partner
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Nobody talks about this. Nobody talks about what happens after you finally heal from a traumatizing relationship. When you've taken the time to focus on yourself and are ready to step back into the dating world, it feels nearly impossible to find someone because you recognize the red flags in everybody.
You notice so many things you're unwilling to compromise on because you actually trust your intuition now. You can see potential issues in people and know you won't be able to overlook them later in the relationship. So, you don't let your feelings cloud your judgment and cut things off before they even begin.
Then, you realize how many people aren't actually working on themselves. They're just seeking shallow connections and think they're perfectly fine the way they are. There's no room to grow together because they're already set in their ways.
It's exhausting at times, and the loneliness can take a toll on you. But you have to remember one thing: it's better to be single with high standards than to be in a relationship settling for less.
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I’m mentally at a place where I can’t afford to FREELY give anymore. Meaning if I love you, I need for you to love me BACK. If I care about you, I need for you to care about me too. If I sacrifice for you, I need sacrifices in return. If I protect you, I need to be protected as well. My mental capacity won’t allow me to keep pouring from an empty cup. I can’t afford to accept one sided love and energy anymore. We all deserve to be poured into, as we pour into others. 🖤💪🏾🍷
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10 THINGS YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO BEFORE YOU COMMIT TO SOMEONE FOR MARRIAGE
1. HOW THEY HANDLE CORRECTION.
Marriage will require a lot of learning, unlearning and relearning. If the person is not teachable, marriage will be a challenge.
2. HOW THEY ACT WHEN THEY DON'T GET WHAT THEY WANT.
If someone cannot handle disappointments, or they always want things to go their way, that will be a difficult spouse. Take for instance: When a woman starts biIIing you like she’s after your Iife, giving you deadlines to do things for her or the relationship is over, that’s not Iove, that’s enough signs that you’re being usεd. Dυmp her!!!
3. HOW THEY ACT AROUND THE OPPOSITE GENDER.
They are in a relationship but act and behave like they are single and ready to mingle. No boundaries with the opposite sex. Someone who gets overly excited around the opposite gender sometimes to the point of forgetting you even exist or wants to entertain and please others, will bring you unnecessary trouble and make you insecure.
4. HOW THEY ACT WHEN ANGRY.
Anger is a normal human emotion, but how you control it or how it controls you will determine if you're ready for marriage or you need serious help. Does the person become insulting, violent, threatening and rude when angry; or do they control their temper? Marriage will bring some reasons to be angry here and there; can they handle it?
5. HOW THEY ACT WHEN THE CONVERSATION IS ABOUT SEX.
If they get uncomfortable when the conversation is about sex or they get overly lustful; your marriage will have trouble. Marriage should be with someone open minded about sex conversations and also someone who sees it as something special in marriage.
6. HOW THEY ACT WHEN THE CONVERSATION IS NOT ABOUT SEX.
Does the person tune off or show no interest when you talk about other topics? That person is only interested in sex, not a long term bond with you. Be careful!
7. HOW THEY ACT WHEN YOU CAN'T GIVE TIME.
If there are moments you can't answer the persons phone call because you're in a meeting, function or can't reply immediately to their messages but you get back to them when you're done, does the person understand; or become controlling and insecure, wanting to micromanage your time? You are safe with someone who understands that there are other parts and roles in your life that need your attention.
8. HOW THEY ACT WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT GOD.
If the person avoids God's talk, they will not raise with you the Godly family you are praying for. Quote me anywhere, no marriage can enjoy the blessings that comes with marriage if they take away the one who instituted marriage out of the equation.
9. HOW THEY ACT WHEN YOU GO THROUGH A TOUGH MOMENT.
When you are having a bad day, facing challenges or when you are in trouble, does the person console you, comfort you and encourage you; or do they avoid your tough moments, are they emotionally unavailable and belittle your feelings. A good spouse cares.
10. HOW THEY ACT AROUND PEOPLE WITH MORE MONEY AND LESS MONEY.
There are partners who only wants to be with you when it is rosy and all sunshine. When the going gets tough, they run away and look for a new spark or catch. If the person treats people based on their financial status, be careful. You could be about to get married to an opportunist. A good person is consistent in how he/she handles people of different status. If you can’t attract a woman without showing off your wallet, you probably will never find a woman who genuinely loves you.
Credit: Peter D'Rock
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i realized that in all my relationships i was drawn towards them because i knew for a fact i could show them what real love feels like & how to radiate it. so i felt obligated to keep trying and trying till they got it right , even while damaging me in the process. until they finally got it right & i was damaged with no more love to give them. i always feel so obligated to heal someone else and show someone else how love feels, friendships and relationships, that i ignore the damage/ lack of effort put forth towards me. me realizing this has just caused a shift in my self elevation. i will forever be the most loving person ever but i now know i can’t save everyone without saving myself first ✍🏽❗️
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Discernment is real. You can hear stuff that’s not being said! You can feel things and don’t even have to be in close proximity! You can detect a lie from miles away! Sometimes it feels like a blessing and a curse because that third eye be awake and sometimes it be the closest people to you. I know a lie, I know a bad attitude, I can feel a shift in energy without hard evidence and it’s something I just can’t shake. That’s why I’m so big on peace and walk away easily from things and people that don’t bring it.
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imagine being bitten by a snake.. & instead of saving yourself from the venom, u sit there trying to explain to the snake why u didn’t deserve that, as it slowly and painfully takes ur life away from u.
this isn’t about a snake.
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I needa be in love how beyonce was when she made dangerously in love.
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If you hold on to something hot, it will continue to burn and hurt you, but if you let it go, it might still burn and hurt for a lil while but pretty soon it is going to heal. The pain is in holding on...
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Life ain't beatin you, you just unorganized. You need to deep clean your house, room, bathroom, car, and get a planner. Get a SOLID plan and routine together, stick to that plan daily. Believe me, you're in control.
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