beyoncestesticle

[beyoncestesticle]

Every time you swallow ocean water you have a very small chance of swallowing Boston tea

[beyoncestesticle]

I haven’t had sex in 4 weeks

[beyoncestesticle]

When people pierce their baby’s ears, they have decided that it’s okay to harm their child for purely aesthetic reasons.

[beyoncestesticle]

If you wear a shirt with a small, inconspicuous corporate logo, you may be working at that company. If you wear a shirt with a huge corporate logo, you got it at some event and they’re using you as a free billboard.

[beyoncestesticle]

[beyoncestesticle]

[beyoncestesticle]

like if a drink is gonna taste bad, then I want it to at least Fuck Me Up, and if a drink isn’t gonna fuck me up, then i want it to taste real nice. but you can’t have a drink that both fails to fuck you up, AND fails to taste good. that’s cheating. and that’s beer.

[beyoncestesticle]

me, experiencing the sudden anguish that comes with living: alright

[beyoncestesticle]

[beyoncestesticle]

[beyoncestesticle]

“If we were meant to be, we would have been by now.”

— Billie Eilish; watch

[beyoncestesticle]

[beyoncestesticle]

take a lot of naps and ignore a lot of people

[beyoncestesticle]

Incredible 

[beyoncestesticle]

Opens up the condom with my teeth but just starts eating it

[beyoncestesticle]

[beyoncestesticle]

I, Robot (2004) dir. Alex Proyas