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[beullondi]

Scott

Teddy Bear Scott, celebrate your birthday this year, okay? This year I didn't want to celebrate mine but a friend pitched in and made the difference. I had so much fun. Here’s your first birthday gift, I’m earlier than everyone~ Truthfully you didn’t have to ask for a letter, I remembered you from when I showed my ugly prototype. This sweater is better, made with love and care! Don’t believe me? Put it on already~ Let's get closer in the future. We've known each other for so, so long. Feels like we're basically brothers who live in two separate places. Thank you for everything, Scott. Your enthusiasm really encouraged me through the paper work part of this collection!

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TH.IMBEUL ENTHUSIAST LIST

OOC Disclaimer: Underlined names with bold clickable links are completed and delivered to said muse. Feel free to read letters that aren't to your muse, but remember that said letters are handwritten and delivered to these muses along with a piece from TH.IMBEUL.

This post will be valid even after TH.IMBEUL promotions, I want to organize and keep track of who Blondie gave pieces to–– this is important to him, acts as small writing exercises for me and helps us to plot!

I tried to keep track of all of the muses who said they wanted a piece from TH.IMBEUL during the summer or otherwise. If you don't see your muse's name here or in categories for businesses/affies (the list is currently very young!), don't be shy to dm me or have your muse dm Blondie.

If this list ever gets long, use CMD F / CTRL F to search for your muses name

Everything is in alphabetical order:

Preface

Here's a TH.IMBEUL Good things come in threes 1. An alabaster gift box clad in BLONDTIQUE’s pattern (the pattern, featherlight as it is, ranges from mossy green, murky blue, and nostalgic for Halloween orange–– the stock is soft to the touch. Why is it so soft? That’s new, the studio must be growing. 2. A Sweater (make it Sweater Weather, Colossal, or Everyday Uniform, your choice) and a hand stitched, traditional Korean thimble. Yes, this counts as one unit. 3. An envelope, weathered with coffee grinds, smells of pumpkin spice, too, signed by BLONDTIQUE.

BLONDTIQUE

Andrew | Blondie, to self | Min | Natsu | Neo | Jiwon | Liara | Lily | Lune | Yunheehaw

ENTHUSIASTS

Akira | Ai | Areum (Chiffon) | Bo | Dae | Dog | Cash Money | Dorian (work) | Endo | Giselle | Insik | JackJaebeom | James | Jinx | Jiyeon | Kyu (Album) Review | Luna Moon | Mars | Matt | Minseo and Jiwoo | Misa | Nana Komatsu | Omi | Paris | Saebom | Sangmi | Scott | Sei | Spencer+ Song | SMH, Mechanic Min | Toshiya | Victoria | Wenhan | Seobuns | Woori | Xng | Yerin | Yuzu

PAWTIQUE FRIENDS

Take flight Sanctuary | Two Tails

EAT CLOTHES FRIENDS

Sweet Time |

PLOT BUNNIES + 4th WALL BREAKING :-)

Photographers ( 2/ 3 )

Models ( 6/ ∞ )

Stylists / Freelancers Designers / Artists / Tailors ( 2/ ∞ )

Updated: Sep 30

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To: Natsu

Natsu, from the moment I met you I knew you were precious. You just have that aura. I was really surprised that you chose to live in Korea and teach our youth, it must be hard being away from your family while raising other people’s children.

I appreciate teachers. All kinds. The reality is, children spend more time in school than home at those ages. Without teachers like you, who care, society would be in pain. You’re raising generations and, wow. I’m honored to be friends with and work with someone with a heart as kindred as yours, someone who’s creating change tenderly through hard work and cooking!

Your warmth makes me curious about you. Thank you for that and thank you for extending your kindness to me. Let’s work together a lot, okay? Thank you for everything.

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Vicky!!!

I was talking to Luna the other day— telling her that it feels as though she’s always been here in my life— it’s exactly the same with you Vicky. We’ve known each other for years, we’re now staples in one another’s life.

I’m so honored that I was in charge of styling for ‘Don’t Say No’ and not just because that cage dress is one of my favorite pieces of all time but because you really do have a lovely voice and vision. Because of you, Luna and Yuzu, I’ve been exposed to idol music much more than I ever would be— (I’m an indie boy Vicky wahwahwah~~~ ).

I get a kick out of you and Key. You look so happy. You deserve it. You work so, so so so so so hard. It really hurt my heart when you told me about your manager driving away without you because he’s use to you being quiet. It made me think of how tired you must be from schedules.

You sing and dance well. You travel from Korea to China and yet you’ve never once treated me unkindly because of exhaustion. Your worth ethic is admirable.

Thank you for supporting me, please take care of yourself and eat whatever you want. You’re beautiful as you are, don’t bother with netizens hiding on forums. You’re under zoom ent right? I’ll keep that in mind if you keep going on without a vacation! I'm not afraid to seriously talk to your CEO! Let's work together again soon, please please please!! Thank you~

♡ Blondie

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To Mrs Beom

Am I a good oppa to you? I’ve been tail deep in collection preparations I haven’t been able to slow down with you and see how you are, ah when the boys come around this old, withered blonde was too tired to fully enjoy our parties and send dog off and welcome him back well.

Thank you for being a kid sister to me, you seriously remind me of one except a lot more secretive. Can I visit your home? Or bring you lunch at your day job? There’s no need to have your walls up around me but really, I get it. You probably don’t want to get hurt, right? TH.IMBEUL will protect you.

You come off as exceptionally cute lately, what does it all mean?

––abominable Blondie

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Sangmiya!

You’re the second person I’ve shown my case studies, too! Truthfully~ they’re pretty boring unless you’re familiar with research and you, of course you are. I loved talking to you about my process, I think you’ll be happy to hear a more in-depth take when my interview releases.

Thank you for being such an amazing friend to me, seriously. Last Christmas, I really did need to be at your place. I told you no suddenly, right? I was being stubborn. I’m so glad I was able to eat well with you— it was just us after your guest left. I really needed to be there. You check up on me a lot, even though I’ve been working hard to wrap up this collection I think of you during the day and remember to text to see how you are.

This is the first collection we’re experiencing as friends, right? How did you enter my life so seamlessly! Ah, thank you for sharing this experience with me, and let’s get you into some BLONDTIQUE already, start with TH.IMBEUL if you dare. There’s no way someone like you shouldn’t have their face somewhere, somehow. Let’s do research together, maybe on your soon to be husband or what kind of concept to try? Thank you for being such a good friend to me. You've really turned me into Wooper, you give me RT-able content all the time. The fact that you think about me often enough to do so means a lot to me. I really think you'd be among the first to spy it!

Thank you Sangmi, to many more stomach warmings and scoldings together!

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Hey Orabang!

The third collection is… here, can you believe this? The first (human) collection to be birthed out of BLONDTIQUE’s studio. I’m no longer a bedroom designer and I owe it all to you, my life partner, my person, the one who grows with me and helps me with anything. Thank you forever for the studio and really just everything. Making sure I eat well, cleaning up after me and tending to my wounds.

I can play like a child, play exactly as I should because you’ve provided me the sand for my sandbox. Our home is a playground. Even when I do stupid things like get wax stuck all over my face you’ll meticulously pick it off of me.

I’ve had to stay out so late working tirelessly to make sure the launch is perfect. Did you miss me a lot? I missed you a lot~ My stomach is fluttering with nerves just from writing. l’m really happy to exist in a timeline with you! ㅎㅎ Post launch is going to be busy for us, you love working this much right? I spent an entire week in August talking to magazine editors, setting dates. Let’s shoot well~

Thank you for BLONDTIQUE HQ, if not for you my career would be much slower, much rougher. Sometimes I worry about my output, we’re growing but small. You were right to tell me to rest, I hope this collection will make you as proud of me as I am you. Thank you for believing in my art!

Why do I want to run off to Jeju now? I appreciate you!

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Jul 30                         ♡                      00:00:56

Andy is truly something else. He turned me into dust the other day. My pain and suffering, I released it and he held it in his hands…. I cried so much that night, my tears were weightless. I held onto him like precious silver and he held onto me like precious gold. We’ve been talking rawly lately. Places we couldn’t before.

This man… farm boy… I hadn’t made a mistake suffering for you. I held it all in for so long… all on my own and yet…. you freed me. We are free.

I felt you, too, Blondie. I felt your tortured soul leave me. I felt you rest…

Do you remember what I said last year? When we saw each other again I told you my world was hell. I felt like Satan, parting from you was hell, not a physical place. Ah… all that pain… it’s melting all over… I have to sleep…

Farmboy… Jinil… he’s my person… it’s that simple. As right as rain… I promise to take care of you. I won’t ever take you for granted again…

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Making Things Right

Jul 3                           ♡                      00:01:06

I haven’t talked myself in so long. I didn’t want to waste time documenting when I could be experiencing happily. For a time, I even had an almost-somewhat-lover-of-me. ( ♡° white noise fills the space between his last sentence and the one that is to follow. ) We were damned from the start. We met much too late and late is right... we played a lot. Don’t get dirty thoughts when you listen to this in the future ( ♡° manages a drier than sand laugh. ) — we played. We left each other trinkets in mundane posts, we longed to meet one another on weekends. Something to look forward to. It was perfect. All of this and yet, a blonde like me... after so much I couldn’t stay there.

I made things right.

There’s always been this feeling inside of me. I can’t be a traitor no matter how hard I try or how good it tastes. Everyone betrays me easily, why can’t it be easy for me?

I think I’m really really unhappy.

I’m tired because I hate myself.

I’m tired of being the one who suffers the most. This can’t be normal right?

I use to love summer so much but now— now it’s my misery. Will it always be like this for me?

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Goodnight.

May 9                          ♡                      00:01:02

I fell asleep feeling totally worthless last night.

During the night I dreamt I was in your bed again, face to face with you, again. You said you liked my freckles, but you didn’t use words, just hands... polishing my skin until there were no scuffs left. Until I thought so too, that they were pretty.

We spoke with hands and feet, teeth and tongue. I ate you whole... Your fingers are everywhere, and my mouth met the places they’ve yet to go. You cut the strings from my limbs and I float along the surface with you right side up because my head is so empty. We’ve become tangled. You say you care with palms lathering my scalp with soap, it’s foreign... and in those moments, for once, I don’t meddle with the semantics of what I deserve.

I woke up feeling like I could totally do something today.

How did you sleep?

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Flwr

May 9                          ♡                      00:00:13

You kept saying you didn’t want this anymore. How are you feeling now, babe? This is your chance, walk don’t run. Enjoy the flowers and write to me again and again. More often. Like before. I believe in you

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What do I want to do today? :-)

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!

Oct 14                             ♡                      00:11:16

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Small Doses

Oct 10                             ♡                      00:11:16

I’m reading tweets from my secret account. Everything got so miserable there I had to SB my only mutual. I write: ‘Tonight is Hard’ so many times. Always when the pain rises. Ah... pain... I sneak away to cry still— I have to as to not get overwhelmed. Small doses.

I don’t have anyone to help me now. There’s Andy, but he’d just feel sorry for me. I fear losing control again, shaking. Trembling, hysterical. Unable to breathe. All alone I’d surely die. Alone and choking. Alone. Alone. I think about the way Minjae looked at me in the hospital. One fucking legged. Hunching over me to calm me down. He only had one leg— he should have been the one breaking down. And then that night when I got so bad it felt like it was all over. He restrained me and tried his hardest to make me breathe.

He made an attempt on his life a week before Chuseok. A rope. I didn’t go to him. If I leave home again— I just couldn’t. I cried again, that night. In the shower and then the next evening. How cruel I am to not have shown up. A wicked disgusting thing I am. He stayed with me in the tent, he dressed my wounds, he didn’t care if I was ugly or dirty. And.... I was all of that. I barely showered, my hair was oily. He didn’t care if I were sick. He’d tell me everything would be okay and I’d tell him it wouldn’t be. He said I was beautiful, he said he’d give me anything. He let ne change his hard wires.

When I couldn’t take care of the tent anymore, he did. He cleaned up. He made food, he chopped vegetables on my floor. He held me, he kissed my knee, my wrists. He took me out, we slept under a tree. People had began asking about him when I showed appreciation. It dawned on me then how there wasn’t much gain for him. I gave nothing. He didn’t get sexual favors, he didn’t get to have Blondie. While sick I still kept him away. I didn’t want to overcommit; I thought it was the end and still. I felt useless.

All he got was his heart twisted, devoured. He loved taking care of me. He won’t admit it, but I know it—know that his pain is because of me. Me, this wicked evil thing you let into your atmosphere.

Besides habitual pain, I’ve been so so numb. I’ve been craving feeling. I want to go totally crazy and fuck around and have someone worship me. Have someone to worship, go wild over. That sweet adrenaline, someone saying my name, summoning me. It can all be real can’t it? Its been four months. God I’m so lonely. I need to feel like I’m really here.

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Child Without Love

Feb 21                              ♡                              00:00:09

I realized in the oddest of moments that I’ve always been a child without love. My parents never loved me therefore I am cursed.

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F

Sep 29                            ♡                      00:00:16

I get angry. I want things now. Resolved now. Eaten now. Forgotten now.

I should evaluate. I hate change. I don’t want to fuck up but all I am is a fuck up. I wish problems away, I belittle them without thinking they will become bigger and devour me.

My mind runs in a way that I think I need to take initiative. If I don’t, no one will, no one’s strong enough to do what I can. It lands me in trouble cause I make decisions for groups on my own, act them out on my own too

I’m always thinking. My thoughts are crude. I’m a rough person, I’ve tried treading lightly it makes me come off as insincere.