betterwithchocolate - Tumblr blog

[betterwithchocolate]

I hate to be the one to tell you this but give up on not annoying people. Bother them. Text your friends first. Sing out loud to that song you like. Say hi to strangers. Take up space and prove you exist because no one is waiting around to ask you to.

[betterwithchocolate]

a happy family ❤️

[betterwithchocolate]

i love seeing best friends goofing around in public. i love seeing couples laughing together. i love seeing little kids walking hand in hand with their parents. i love seeing dogs running happily back to their owners. i love seeing closeness and positive relationships, and knowing all that love is out there

[betterwithchocolate]

#giselepelicot is rewriting the script on sexual shame. Rather than allow her dozens of rapists to be tried in private, she has forced them into the public spotlight so that other women might be safer in future. The shame is theirs, not hers. Gisele Pelicot is a hero.

[betterwithchocolate]

I think this messaging that sex is just the same as any other activity, that there are no special social conditions or statuses or emotions attached to it and that it’s just something you do has rotted people’s brains. In your attempts to normalize a human activity in the face of conservative shame mongering you have so removed the social complexities of sex that you have run right back around into the embrace of rape culture.

[betterwithchocolate]

scared of the world

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they should make it easier and less scary

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🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼

[betterwithchocolate]

I don’t want to keep talking about it but the d*** vs heard case is a textbook checklist of well-documented, statistically significant red flags of domestic violence AND HOMICIDE, and we’re setting ourselves back decades by dismissing these warning signs.

“why is she even talking about how he held her dog out the window of a moving car and joked about putting it in a microwave?” the link between animal abuse and domestic violence is indisputable. 89% of women who had animal companions while in an abusive relationship report their partner threatening, harming, or killing their animal. animal abusers are 5 times more likely to also harm humans.

“he paid for everything and her friends and family are all a bunch of ungrateful freeloaders.” financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases. few men are as rich as d*** and so we don’t often hear of abusers inviting their partner’s friends and family to live rent-free in their extra penthouses, but that is clearly a way to exert economic power over your victim’s support network (and endear them to you, aka love-bombing). financial abuse also includes forbidding the victim to work (or sabotaging work opportunities) and not allowing them to make any financial decisions (such as him firing the attorney she hired to draw up a prenup).

“if he threw things around, that just means he was actively avoiding hitting her and was taking out his anger on inanimate objects.” property damage is in and of itself a form of domestic violence. it is both a form of control (such as the multiple times he destroyed her phone and left her unable to communicate) and an intimidation tactic meant to convey to the victim that the abuser could inflict the same level of physical harm to her if he wanted to.

“if he was jealous, it’s because he loved her. that’s the power she held over him.” we’d come far in recognizing jealousy as a red flag and are throwing all of that out the window with this case, but the facts remain the same. 79% of abusers in completed or attempted intimate partner homicide had a known history of jealousy. the patriarchal myths surrounding romantic love normalize and idealize obsession and possessiveness, but they remain key risk factors.

“he’s never denied his problems with drug use and alcoholism, but they don’t have anything to do with this case, he was clearly using to cope with her.” substance abuse is present in 42% of domestic homicides. while it cannot be pinpointed as the cause per se, alcohol and drug consumption are known to increase the severity of the violence.

“she just wants to humiliate him by pointing out his financial troubles. so what if he lost hundreds of millions of dollars? that wasn’t even his fault, it was the fault of his management team.” the thing is, this evidence is being presented to show that heard is not responsible for his declining career (this is a defamation case, after all). but for those of us outside the courtroom, this evidence should also be seen as another red flag: employment instability and financial problems are present in 39% of domestic homicides.

“so what if he’d been in fights before? that doesn’t prove anything. just because he fights cops and other men doesn’t mean he’d abuse a woman.” 48% of perpetrators of attempted or completed intimate partner homicide have a known violent criminal history. a man being violent towards men (even if he’s rich and famous and gets off scot-free) is in fact and indicator he might also be violent towards women. this sounds painfully obvious but apparently needs to be said.

all of these are LETHALITY indicators in intimate partner violence, and this is without even getting into some of the other ways heard has been scrutinized by the court of public opinion (if only 34% of domestic violence victims seek medical attention, why are we shocked that she didn’t go to the hospital? if d*** had access to all of her devices and was controlling of her life in general, why are we suspicious she doesn’t have recordings of the more violent instances of abuse?).

by minimizing her claims, society is is telling victims (and potential victims) that they shouldn’t worry about some of the most well-known risk factors in intimate partner homicide.

[betterwithchocolate]

The way I sat there screaming with the crowd.

[betterwithchocolate]

I was promised nerdy loser Fandom obsessed freaks but you're all like beautiful women with multiple degrees and a circle of friends

[betterwithchocolate]

everyone is super smug about tumblr being the best social media but nobody acknowledges it’s because tumblr is the only social media dominated by girls and women

[betterwithchocolate]

Let's share some moment of Phryge, the official mascot of the 2024 Paris Olympics, being a bit unhinged

When cops in Paris took her for a ride on the Seine

When she dressed in a pink tutu for the opening ceremony

When she drove a suburban train at Paris - St Lazare station

When she took a ride on a jetski at Tahiti during the surf competition

When she was present at the shooting competition in Châteauroux

When she threatened the french President

That mascot is on the crazy side and that's why we love her

Feel free to add your own pictures

[betterwithchocolate]

maybe the term “antisemitism” seems “overused” because theres so much of it

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we won

[betterwithchocolate]

relationships and jobs are temporary. your shitty unpopular tumblr blog is forever