beside-stillwaters - Tumblr blog

[beside-stillwaters]

My position is not set in stone yet, but what made me question my pro-choice stance was a recent case in New York. A couple underwent IVF to conceive, did so, and then learned at ~20 weeks that the wrong embryo may have been implanted, meaning the baby did not appear to be biologically related to either parent. A second opinion suggested that the mother might have a rare condition where her body contains 2 sets of DNA.

The couple aborted that baby just before it would’ve become illegal (26 weeks is the cutoff). Reading that, the bodily autonomy argument just… fell apart for me. Because logically, a woman could withdraw consent to a pregnancy at any moment, and under that argument, she was entitled to abort the pregnancy since she’d consented to carry her child, not someone else’s.

I’ve not been able to solidify my position on abortion since, but I’m definitely leaning pro-life now. The article I read is linked below:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/04/06/fertility-lawsuit-wrong-embryo/

To anyone who once supported abortion and no longer do, what changed your opinion?

[beside-stillwaters]

mother of infinite sorrows

The Iliad, Homer, trans. Robert Fagles // The Virgin of the Lilies, William-Adolphe Bouguereau // Pieta, William-Adolphe Bouguereau

[beside-stillwaters]

Praying to the Madonna and Child

Spectacular work by South Korean artist 심순화 카타리나, or Shim Soon-hwa Catherine.

[beside-stillwaters]

The Catholic school system genuinely breaks my heart. I’m from South Australia, from a rural area where St. Mary MacKillop founded schools. She once refused to admit the grandson of the Governor of South Australia despite the promise of funding because it was conditional on her separating the boy from the working class children the schools primarily catered to. And yet, today, in the system she founded to care for poor children who otherwise received no education (Catholic or otherwise), fees are prohibitively high.

In the city of Brisbane, for instance, it costs on average AUD 150,000 to educate a child from k-12 in the Catholic system. At Mary MacKillop College in Adelaide, fees reach $9000 a year. That’s without the uniform costs, which are also very high. MMC is not an ‘elite school’ in the sense that other Catholic schools are. It disgusts me, and I think it would disgust St. Mary to see the state of Catholic education. That’s without discussing the actual quality of teaching (which I can’t speak on, because I was educated in the public school system).

[beside-stillwaters]

These prayers are to be prayed during the days of Lent. If they can’t be said on each day of the Season, they can at least be prayed on Lenten Fridays (or during Holy Week?). One kneels when praying these Psalms and recites a Glory Be after each one.

Psalm 6

Lord, do not reprove me in your anger: punish me not in your rage. Have mercy on me, Lord, I have no strength; Lord, heal me, my body is racked; my soul is racked with pain. But you, a Lord, how long? Return, Lord, rescue my soul. Save me in your merciful love, for in death no one remembers you; from the grave, who can give you praise? I am exhausted with my groaning; every night I drench my pillow with tears. My eye wastes away from grief; I have grown old surrounded by my foes. Leave me, all you who do evil; for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will accept my prayer. All my foes will retire in confusion, foiled and suddenly confounded.

Psalm 32

Happy the man whose offense is forgiven, whose sin is remitted. a happy the man to whom the Lord imputes no guilt, in whose spirit is no guile. I kept it secret and my frame was wasted. I groaned all the day long, for night and day your hand was heavy upon me. Indeed, my strength was dried up as by the summer’s heal. But now I have acknowledged my sins; my guilt I did not hide. I said: “I will confess my offense to the Lord.” And you, Lord, have forgiven the guilt of my sin. So let every good man pray to you in the time of need. The floods of water may reach high but him they shall not reach. You are my hiding place, a Lord; you save me from distress. You surround me with cries of deliverance. I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will give you counsel with my eye upon you. Be not like the horse and mule, unintelligent, needing bridle and bit, else they will not approach you. Many sorrows has the wicked but he who trusts in the Lord, loving mercy surrounds him. Rejoice, rejoice in the Lord, exult, you just! a come, ring out your joy, all you upright of heart.

Psalm 38

O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger; do not punish me, Lord in your rage. Your arrows have sunk deep in me; your hand has come down upon me. Through your anger all my body is sick: through my sin, there is no health in my limbs. My guilt towers higher than my head; it is a weight too heavy to bear. My wounds are foul and festering, the result of my own folly. I am bowed and brought to my knees. I go mourning all the day long. All my frame bums with fever; all my body is sick. Spent and utterly crushed, I cry aloud in anguish of heart. O Lord, you know all my longing: my groans are not hidden from you. My heart throbs, my strength is spent; the very light has gone from my eyes. My friends avoid me like a leper; those closest to me stand afar off. Those who plot against my life lay snares; those who seek my ruin speak of harm, planning treachery all the day long. But I am like the deaf who cannot hear, like the dumb unable to speak. I am like a man who hears nothing in whose mouth is no defense. I count on you, O Lord: it is you, Lord God, who will answer. I pray: “Do not let them mock me, those who triumph if my foot should slip.” For I am on the point of falling and my pain is always before me. I confess that I am guilty and my sin fills me with dismay. My wanton enemies are numberless and my lying foes are many. They repay me evil for good and attack me for seeking what is right. O Lord, do not forsake me! My God, do not stay afar off! Make haste and come to my help, O Lord, my God, my savior!

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, God, in your kindness. In your compassion blot out my offense. O wash me more and more from my guilt and cleanse me from my sin. My offenses truly I know them; my sin is always before me. Against you, you alone, have I sinned; what is evil in your sight I have done. That you may be justified when you give sentence and be without reproach when you judge. O see, in guilt was I born, a sinner was I conceived. Indeed you love truth in the heart; then in the secret of my heart teach me wisdom. a purify me, then I shall be clean; O wash me, I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear rejoicing and gladness, that the bones you have crushed may revive. From my sins turn away your face and blot out all my guilt. A pure heart create for me, O God, put a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, nor deprive me of your holy spirit. Give me again the joy of your help; with a spirit of fervor sustain me, that I may teach transgressors your ways and sinners may return to you. O rescue me, God, my helper, and my tongue shall ring out your goodness. O Lord, open my lips and my mouth shall declare your praise. For in sacrifice you take no delight, burnt offering from me you would refuse; my sacrifice, a contrite spirit. A humbled, contrite heart you will not spurn. In your goodness, show favor to Zion: rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Then you will be pleased with lawful sacrifice, holocausts offered on your altar.

Psalm 102

O Lord, listen to my prayer and let my cry for help reach you. Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress. Turn your ear towards me and answer me quickly when I call. For my days are vanishing like smoke, my bones bum away like a fire. My heart is withered like the grass. I forget to eat my bread. I cry with all my strength and my skin clings to my bones. I have become like a pelican in the wilderness, like an owl in desolate places. I lie awake and I moan like some lonely bird on a roof. All the day long my foes revile me; those who hate me use my name as a curse. The bread I eat is ashes; my drink is mingled with tears. In your anger, Lord, and your fury you have lifted me up and thrown me down. My days are like a passing shadow and I wither away like the grass.

But you, O Lord, will endure for ever and your name from age to age. You will arise and have mercy on Zion: for this is the time to have mercy; yes, the time appointed has come, for your servants love her very stones, are moved with pity even for her dust. The nations shall fear the name of the Lord and all the earth’s kings your glory, when the Lord shall build up Zion again and appear in all his glory. Then he will turn to the prayers of the helpless; he will not despise their prayers. Let this be written for ages to come that a people yet unborn may praise the Lord; for the Lord leaned down from his sanctuary on high. He looked down from heaven to the earth that he might hear the groans of the prisoners and free those condemned to die. The sons of your servants shall dwell untroubled, and their race shall endure before you that the name of the Lord may be proclaimed in Zion and his praise in the heart of Jerusalem, when peoples and kingdoms are gathered together to pay their homage to the Lord.

He has broken my strength in mid-course; he has shortened the days of my life. I say to God: “Do not take me away before my days are complete, you, whose days last from age to age. Long ago you founded the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish but you will remain. They will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like clothes that are changed. But you neither change, nor have an end. The children of your servants will continue, and their descendants will be established before you.”

Psalm 130

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord: Lord, hear my voice! O let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleading. If you, O Lord, should mark our guilt, Lord, who would survive? But with you is found forgiveness: for this we revere you. My soul is waiting for the Lord; I count on his word. My soul is longing for the Lord more than the watchman for daybreak. Let the watchman count on daybreak and Israel on the Lord. Because with the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption; Israel indeed he will redeem from all its iniquity.

Psalm 143, 1-11

Lord, listen to my prayer; turn your ear to my appeal. You are faithful, you are just; give answer. Do not call your servant to judgment, for no one is just in your sight. The enemy pursues my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me dwell in darkness like the dead, long forgotten. Therefore my spirit fails; my heart is numb within me. I remember the days that are past: I ponder all your works. I muse on what your hand has wrought and to you I stretch out my hands. Like a parched land my soul thirsts for you. Lord, make haste and answer; for my spirit fails within me. Do not hide your face lest I become like those in the grave. In the morning let me know your love, for I put my trust in you. Make me know the way I should walk: to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me, Lord, from my enemies; I have fled to you for refuge. Teach me to do your will for you, O Lord, are my God. Let your good spirit guide me in ways that are level and smooth. For your name’s sake, Lord, save my life; in your justice save my soul from distress.

[beside-stillwaters]

45 Suggested Penances for Holy Week

1. Offer your day for the intentions of another person whose name you keep in mind all day. 2. Skip a meal or part of one. 3. Visit an elderly person. 4. Spend ten minutes reading the Bible. 5. Do something concrete to help the poor. 6. Spend ten minutes slowly meditating on the Our Father. 7. Sacrifice some ordinary comfort or convenience today. 8. Pray with special insistence for the most pressing petitions in your life. 9. Make a gesture of reconciliation with someone from whom you are alienated. 10. Do something kind for someone who does not like you. 11. Listen to someone you would otherwise pass by. 12. Pray and offer some sacrifice for the Pope. 13. Do some extraordinary kindness to someone who would never expect it. 14. Serve someone today with love. 15. Do something charitable for the homeless. 16. Spend ten minutes praying before the Blessed Sacrament. 17. Volunteer in a shelter, a soup kitchen, or a tutorial center. 18. Give away some of your belongings. 19. Pray the rosary with the intention of renewing your Marian devotion. 20. Clean up someone else’s mess. 21. Pray for and give alms to the missions. 22. Fast from television or some other amusement. 23. Console someone who is grieving. 24. Go to Confession. 25. Offer your day for someone who has fallen away from the Faith. 26. Spend fifteen minutes praying the Holy Name of Jesus. 27. Prayerfully make a list of the greatest desires of your heart. 28. Do something kind for someone you love. 29. Send a thank you note to someone to whom you owe a debt of gratitude. 30. Reconnect with someone who was responsible for generating the Faith in you. 31. Pray in a special way to the Blessed Virgin Mary. 32. Do something loving for someone who is sick. 33. Do something constructive to rescue someone ensnared in sin. 34. Give counsel to the doubtful. 35. Say a prayer for all those who have fallen away from the Faith. 36. Pray with special devotion to your patron saint(s). 37. Bear patiently the wrongs you experience today. 38. Give comfort to someone who is afflicted. 39. Make a holy hour with your family to pray for the graces of Holy Week. 40. Say “I’m sorry” to someone who is alienated from you. 41. Do something kind for those in prison. 42. Give alms for a needy person or cause. 43. Pray for vocations to the priesthood. 44. Make the Stations of the Cross. 45. Spend 30 minutes in total silence. - All suggestions here originally from The Magnificat Lenten Companion

[beside-stillwaters]

Wait wait I had a massive conversation about the bible story where the disabled man is lowered through a roof to Jesus by his mates where we were trying to figure out the logistics, and now all I can think about is that after Jesus forgave his sins and healed him, he finished up by fixing the roof that this guy’s mates broke to lower him in.

Do you think Jesus ever got many carpenter requests after he started preaching? Like did anyone ever go up to him and be like; "My Lord! My Lord!" And the disciples are all: "The Master won't do anymore miracles today." But obviously Jesus is like; "Yes, my child?" And they just ask what his basic rate is to fix their door.

[beside-stillwaters]

Japanese ‘Christ Pantocrator’ and ‘Madonna of Tender Mercy’

by Theophilia

[beside-stillwaters]

I got the book the Confessions of Augustine for Christmas and it’s only chapter 1 and he’s being too relatable already so expect many posts on this

[beside-stillwaters]

Nigerian pilgrims pray in the Grotto (where it is believed that Mary gave birth to Jesus) in the Church of the Nativity on Christmas Eve in Bethlehem, West Bank. (Credit: Ammar Awad - Reuters)

[beside-stillwaters]

I think this might sum up my exact thought process. I genuinely believe that banning abortion is not helping, and fighting for outright bans is a waste of effort. Instead, I believe in fighting for affordable childcare, for improving maternal health, for improving the safety net so that women who find themselves in this position can choose to keep their babies.

Make it easier for women to keep their babies, support them to do so, don’t shame them for having gotten pregnant. Banning abortion without offering any help or support to women who are considering one will, in all likelihood, just hurt more people.

Please remember that abortion hurts women.

It’s easy to look at abortion as a black and white issue- where one side is full of evil baby killers. But that’s not always the case.

Women have posted videos of them scream crying, absolutely devastated that they feel like they have to abort the baby they so desperately want.

Women keep their ultrasound pictures. Withdraw at what would have been their due date. Are eaten alive by the guilt. Spend the rest of their life feeling like a child is missing.

And that’s why being pro life is more than just a legal battle. It’s a sign that we have failed women. We have backed them into a corner. Despite the fact that every instinct is telling them to fight for their baby… they can’t. And as pro lifers, we need to change this.

As that saying goes “a woman wants an abortion like a bear wants to cut its leg out of a bear trap.” Let’s make sure that bear trap doesn’t exist in the first place.

[beside-stillwaters]

This took me and my Australian accent an embarrassingly long time to figure out

1: I’m thinking of a community of Catholic Christians over a geographical area, but I can’t remember the name of it.

2: Is it a diocese?

1: No, it’s smaller than that

2:

[beside-stillwaters]

Look, if you haven’t cried reading 2 Timothy I don’t believe you. I just don’t. I love Saint Paul and the work he did for the early church is just incredible. He truly, to me, represents God’s forgiveness and love and grace.

whats ur beef with St Paul tho 👀 we gotta know sis

If I met him on the street, I would take him for a nervous virgin who had an inclination to fear female sexuality and sexuality in general despite his otherwise amazing theology. I don’t hate him I just want to bully him.

[beside-stillwaters]

The Assumption by Juan de Jesus Mundra Ochoa

[beside-stillwaters]

A lot of people online (and offline) can react with hostility towards questions or people holding the ‘wrong’ beliefs, and I might be biased, but I do think we sometimes have the habit of projecting that onto God. 

When you sincerely pursue God, when you sincerely pursue a loving relationship with Him - He’s not going to exile and ostracise you from Himself because you’re asking questions or not where you need to be. He’s not writing a callout thread or putting you on a block list. He will guide you to where you need to be. And that journey can be painful at times - especially when we cling to people and places and dreams that are not part of the plan He has for us. But that is very different to the social alienation or harassment you can encounter from other people. 

As much as the people around us might rejoice in our slip ups or take advantage of our ignorance on a topic, God isn’t like that. He does not seek out to deliberately fool you or play cruel tricks on you. He is not going to deceive you, and then punish you for falling for deceit. And when you sincerely seek out a relationship with God, God will guide you to Him. And we can misread the signals, we can get caught up in distractions in our life, but He’s not going to completely abandon you for that. People can be fickle, people can be cruel, people can be self serving - but this isn’t how God is. 

Nobody other than God can fully grasp God, nobody other than God can fully grasp the Truth of the entire faith. It’s okay to not know things. It’s okay to ask questions - and if people react with hostility, that’s on them. If you sincerely seek out God, then God will guide you to Him. And though you might trip and stumble, and though you might be led astray, He will continually call you to Him. 

[beside-stillwaters]

The beauty 😍

[beside-stillwaters]

I can’t stop thinking about Elijah sitting underneath the juniper tree & asking God to die.  God sent an angel who says, “This journey is too much for you.” & that he must eat. Elijah does, then he rests.  He wakes up still feeling hopeless, & the angel repeats himself.  

It took Elijah longer than he wanted to get better.  Sometimes we want to move but we can’t.  Sometimes the journey is too much.  It is not a sin to understand your limitations.  Start there, get stronger, then get up.