berrynes

[berrynes]

Oh, he will

(Good luck, Spock)

[berrynes]

bro plex it

none of my usual streaming sites let me watch madoka whats even the point then ughghhghhhhhhjhhg explodes

[berrynes]

ok but i've been inspired by someof the aroace posts. and i was like, let me write an essay / video essay script! this'll be nice and simple, i've been chewing on this for a long time! ... i've been on this for an hour or so and already have 2 pages of structure and 6 parts. hello.

[berrynes]

imagine if every chapter in a real book ended with an author's note

[berrynes]

This is how I imagine T'Lyn's Vulcan betrothed to probably be like:

[berrynes]

[berrynes]

Hi sorry I know this might be really personal and you obviously don't have to answer if you don't want to but you post a lot about being aroace and I've been thinking about that for myself kind of a lot lately and was just wondering how you know for sure that that's what you are as opposed to not having found the right person yet kind of thing that people always tell you.

Again sorry personal absolutely don't feel pressured.

mmmm okay so! idm answering this, im happy to help (: but for claritys sake: i am asexual by definition, but i dont indentify as such! i only id as aromantic bcs thats the only indentity that actually feels important and like a part of me. might not make any sense but whatever lol

how i knew that im aro? i just. found the label, and was like, 'sure, why not.' and it stuck. its... for the difference between being aro and not having found the right person yet, its that, well. okay, so what if youre not actually aro? you do meet someone you love romantically even after youve ided as aro for years? cool, whatever, you can keep the aro label, or change it. or you never do fall in love romantically, and dont need to do anth abt the label.

what im saying is... mm okay label is a misnomer. i once heard someone say that labels are more akin to fridge magnets - you stick them on, and maybe they stay and you like how they look and make you happy. or maybe you stick them on and they look bad and you dont like them so you take them down. or maybe you stick them on and you like them for a while, but it starts feeling wrong eventually, so you take them down. labels - like magnets - arent permanent.

its impossible to really, truly, make a mistake in finding a label that explains your experiences. even if its wrong, there was smth that felt right abt it at that time. its a part of your journey. we, as people, are ever-changing - its literally impossible to know what will happen tomorrow, nevermind in a few years (sorry the isat reference is mostly unintentional).

so how did i know? i stuck the aro magnet on. and i like how it looks for now, maybe forever. maybe ill find the 'right one' or whatever, or maybe i wont. if i do, then whatever, down goes the magnet. if i dont (and i dont think i will, for the record! i dont have any Reasoning, its just... okay ill explain this next paragraph), then up there it stays. youre free to say youre aro for now and then change it if it ever changes. theres nothing stopping you, nonnie

as for yeah, whatever vague wording i can give to my reasoning, its... standard stuff, sorry. ive never understood romance? i think its completely fucking unnecessary and overrated. stupid, even. i straightup Do Not Get It. i forced myself to say i have a crush on a guy in gr4 bcs everyone else was talking abt crushes. decided i was romantically attracted to this girl in dance class bcs i liked her vibes. trying to conform to actually wanting romance when i just dont. dated this girl in gr8, and then when we broke up (i am bad at communication and unfortunately incredibly fucking clingy), i was like... 'huh, i didnt really feel that different about her than i did abt any of my other friends'. i just really really cared abt her and wanted to be close w her, and the only way i knew how to do that was 'romance'. but that wasnt it. found out abt aro ppl (forget how; memory is Trash), and was like 'oh damn, thats... that makes sense'. i definitely had a crisis and Logic but i do not remember that, sorry. all of this is pieced together from old text messages and half-remembered memories hajdjdzkzos

imo the concept of a 'right one' is pretty damn fucking stupid (/nay; at Society). 8 billion ppl on earth. im not going to find this hypothetical right one who can change absolutely everything about me and my identity. ive got the ppl around me that i already love. im happy w that. chasing after some hypothetical infinitesimal chance of a person whos Perfect for oneself is just a damn waste of time

so just... these decisions dont have to be permanent, nonnie. youre allowed to be wrong and realise that you werent actually aroace. youre allowed to be wrong. so if you want my advice? say youre aroace. stick the magnet on, see if it falls off or not. its still a valid and valuable part of your journey. youre allowed to be wrong. youre always allowed to be wrong.

i mean, afterall, how can one be sure that they ARE allo? that they WILL find that 'right one'? through experience. so fuck around, find out. stick that magnet on.

good luck (: i rly rly hope this is helpful and not just me repeating what youve already heard, sry for yapping so much LMAO. i have a lot to say

[berrynes]

I want one of those scenes in a dude bro film where “tomboy” chick has to wear a dress to go undercover or whatever, but instead of the guys drooling as she walks down the stairs, they’re like “k. U need to stop. Go put the cargo pants back on. You look super uncomfortable and awkward in that. Brutus, you go be the fake prostitute.”

[berrynes]

im so tired of people saying aphobic things all over the place and then acting like they have no fucking clue how it's aphobic

and i'm tired of the hypocrisy. it's always "be with the person you LOVE, your feelings have to be GENUINE" until you don't love anyone, then it doesn't matter if you dont have genuine feelings for anyone. they all want you to fake it and be fucking normal!!! it's always "well aros can still date!! aces can still have sex!!! aroace can still have relationships!!" YEAH, SOME OF US CAN, BUT DONT YOU THINK ITS A LITTLE WEIRD HOW YOU EXPECT US TO DO THOSE THINGS, WITHOUT FEELING ANYTHING FOR THEM, WHEN YOU NORMALLY DONT DO THAT TO OTHER PEOPLE? WHY IS IT SO INSTANTLY ACCEPTABLE ONLY WHEN IT COMES TO ASPECS? WHY DO YOU ACT AS IF THATS NOT ASKING US TO FAKE WHO WE ARE?

[berrynes]

Okay so more on me confusing romantic attraction and emotional attraction.

I thought wanting more of an emotional connection with someone made me not aromantic because in my mind, bonding with someone emotionally = romantic attraction. When that’s not the case.

It’s no wonder I have no desire to do traditionally romantic things like hold hands, cuddle, kiss, go on dates and yes some of that stuff is sensual attraction well most of it is.

I’m also asensual but it further proves that romantic attraction is extremely subjective and it varies person to person I feel like? The only way I can think of defining romantic attraction is by romantic intent? That’s how I’ve seen it described online at least.

But yeah I definitely crave emotional closeness with people that I like as friends and seem like safe people. It’s like I get a warm feeling in my chest and just a mutual understanding. Like equally bonding over something we both love or like.

Also if any allo’s read this please could you help me to define romantic attraction? It’s so idk weird to me that for the past month I thought I was feeling romantic attraction towards 2 people close to me and then it’s like “oh it’s a deep emotional connection.”

[berrynes]

One of my more outwardly baffling autistic traits is that often I will fully know that you're being sarcastic or joking & I'll just keep talking. I'll respond to it in earnest thinking I'm continuing the bit but I do it too flatly and everybody knows I'm autistic so they'll stop and be like hey that was a joke & I'm like I know

[berrynes]

Holy Shit

[berrynes]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[berrynes]

Usamericans should be more anti-war actually. They should be straight up insulting marines and shutting down weapon factories, 60s anti-war protests kind of shit. I'm sorry for pontificating from down here but the US military-industrial complex is currently supplying a genocide, and this is not a new thing, the US has sold weapons to Saudi Arabia to starve millions of Yemenis. And though some people think it's not the point, it Is also true that there are trillions upon trillions of dollars that could be spent in anything else that go to the black hole of corruption (and call it for what it is, corruption) that is the Pentagon. Any of those resources could be destined to literally any other activity and be better spent.

I'm talking full contempt here. You should outright be HATING the military. Instead of lining up to watch Top Gun you should see it as a glorification of a fucking killing machine that serves imperial interests, enriches megacorporations and supports genocided. For the love of God be more angry about it. Goddamn.

[berrynes]

Don't you worry about my pronouns. My pronouns are pretty standard. Worry about my adverbs. My most frequent ones are "omniously", "haphazardly" and "obliviously".

[berrynes]

reading ds9 comic “fools gold” and have collected all the times the artists drew odo in the background. now for your viewing pleasure: tiny odo

[berrynes]

less "learning how to love" and more learning how to respect. how to listen. learning how to care about the ones you love. learning that your emotions aren't the only ones that matter. learning that your emotions do not equal your actions. learning that you can love someone with your whole heart and hurt them. learning that love doesn't determine if a relationship is good or not. learning that love doesn't absolve you from being a horrible person. learning that love isn't everything. learning that a healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and communication, not love.