benignsublime

[benignsublime]

t shirt that says if you do not give me written instructions i will kill myself

[benignsublime]

do any of you remember that gumball episode where darwin becomes mega paranoid after watching a health and safety video so to quell his anxiety he goes out of his way to make everything kid friendly and inoffensive by propositioning it as being for the children and then he becomes a fascist at the end

[benignsublime]

everyone. get hairier NOW

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indeed.com search history "pet for mysteriously wealthy older woman" "unethical science test subject full time" "vampire thrall with room and board"

[benignsublime]

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

[benignsublime]

They should Tell everyone on both love island and survivor that a nuke blew up the Us and that they have to work together to start a new society . And then see which one becomes more warlike / Powerful

[benignsublime]

your 20s are all about being stuck in the time loop

[benignsublime]

we need a lying on the ground dead emoji now more than ever

[benignsublime]

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I support recreational and erotic testosterone use

[benignsublime]

I hope my weird speech and awkward walk and nervous mannerisms are attractive to you

[benignsublime]

[benignsublime]

we smoking nothing. we have nothing

[benignsublime]

i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

[benignsublime]

[benignsublime]

this tweet singlehandedly destroyed my speech patterns for a solid month in college

[benignsublime]