bellimoon

[bellimoon]

lying in front of the street cleaner

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a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

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ⓘ Tip You can skip part of the day by taking a nap.

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One day I woke up and everybody knew what a labubu was

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*scrolling tumblr* hmmm. i agree with the sentiment of this post, but the phrasing feels off to me. it doesn’t really have that Reblog factor, you know? *scrolls* oh good, a post that just says “i jerk off till my penis scrweam” . i better reblog this

[bellimoon]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i went nonverbal, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

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i like that 13 reasons why's cultural impact is how poorly it handled suicide and sexual assault as well as inventing a new way for people to say they're going to kill themselves

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Gollum and yoda sucking each other off while a big steamroller gets closer and closer

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I'm glad that people are still having fun on tumblr even after we found out about the frightening ghoul that reblogs posts but doesn't say anything

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tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

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💀💀💀

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look all i'm saying is if you've ever seen someone be healed with magic, congratulations! you've witnessed a practitioner of necromancy. it's the exact same thing. all you're doing at a fundamental level is using magic to accelerate existing biological processes and animate tissue, the only difference is when you do it to dead tissue instead of living tissue, suddenly it's evil scary ~dark magic~ instead of good wholesome healing. it's purely cultural bias.

so no i don't think it's fair to say i "lied on my application" since i'm just as qualified as anyone to heal your party, but hey if you want to be a fucking narc and report me to the wizard council go right ahead. good luck finding an accredited healer at the wages you're offering by the way

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cmon child safety lid you know it's me

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L

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reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

[bellimoon]

being on tumblr for a long time but never reading homestuck like