behindthesealmondeyes

[behindthesealmondeyes]

I must freeze my heart to the one person who insists on setting it ablaze. (Hala sya!) #CaraMOVEan

[behindthesealmondeyes]

[behindthesealmondeyes]

WE ONLY FALL IN LOVE WITH 3 PEOPLE IN OUR LIFETIME - Each One For A Specific Reason

“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.” ~ Unknown

It’s been said that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime.

Yet, it’s also believed that we need each of these loves for a different reason.

Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. It’s the idealistic love—the one that seems like the fairytales we read as children.

This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for society’s sake—and probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be.

Because in this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel.

It’s a love that looks right.

The second is supposed to be our hard love—the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.

We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons—but we hang on. Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before.

Sometimes it’s unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation—most likely there will be high levels of drama. This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this storyline, because it’s the emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high.

With this kind of love, trying to make it work becomes more important than whether it actually should.

It’s the love that we wished was right.

And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it.

This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren’t any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are.

We are just simply accepted for who we are already—and it shakes to our core.

It isn’t what we envisioned our love would look like, nor does it abide by the rules that we had hoped to play it safe by. But still it shatters our preconceived notions and shows us that love doesn’t have to be how we thought in order to be true.

This is the love that keeps knocking on our door regardless of how long it takes us to answer.

It’s the love that just feels right.

Maybe we don’t all experience these loves in this lifetime, but perhaps that’s just because we aren’t ready to. Maybe the reality is we need to truly learn what love isn’t before we can grasp what it is.

Possibly we need a whole lifetime to learn each lesson, or maybe, if we’re lucky, it only takes a few years.

Perhaps it’s not about if we are ever ready for love, but if love is ready for us.

And then there may be those people who fall in love once and find it passionately lasts until their last breath. Those faded and worn pictures of our grandparents who seemed just as in love as they walked hand-in-hand at age 80 as they did in their wedding picture—the kind that leaves us wondering if we really know how to love at all.

Someone once told me they are the lucky ones, and perhaps they are.

But I kinda think that those who make it to their third love are really the lucky ones.

They are the ones who are tired of having to try and whose broken hearts lay beating in front of them wondering if there is just something inherently wrong with how they love.

But there’s not; it’s just a matter of if their partner loves in the same way they do or not.

Just because it has never worked out before doesn’t mean that it won’t work out now.

What it really comes down to is if we are limited by how we love, or instead love without limits. We can all choose to stay with our first love, the one that looks good and will make everyone else happy. We can choose to stay with our second under the belief that if we don’t have to fight for it, then it’s not worth having—or we can make the choice to believe in the third love.

The one that feels like home without any rationale; the love that isn’t like a storm—but rather the quiet peace of the night after.

And maybe there’s something special about our first love, and something heartbreakingly unique about our second…but there’s also just something pretty amazing about our third.

The one we never see coming. The one that actually lasts. The one that shows us why it never worked out before.

And it’s that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you’ll stumble into love.

“You found parts of me I didn’t know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.” ~ Unknown

(www.elephantjournal.com via Kate Rose)

[behindthesealmondeyes]

YOU HAVE TO LOSE SOME GOOD THINGS TO GROW We are wired to cling to the things we love. It has always been this way – and perhaps it always will be. The more we have, the more we are terrified of losing. The more we accomplish, the more cautious we are about putting those accomplishments on the line. We don’t want to lose any of the good things in our lives. We believe that growth must always be linear – one good decision leading easily and naturally onto the next. But the truth is, life doesn’t always work that way. Most growth patterns are anything but straightforward. Most steps forward are taken in the wake of several steps back. And it is an almost universal law that as much as we want to cling to what we love, we have to lose some good things to grow. We don’t get to arrive at the next stage of our lives carrying everything we have with us in this one. We don’t get to stay safe and secure, and also grow into bigger, braver versions of ourselves. Because the truth is, discomfort is not only a side effect of growth, it is a bare necessity of it. Without discomfort, we have no motivation to change our circumstances. Without deprivation, we develop no hunger for abundance. As much as we’d like to stay comfortable and secure inside of our growth, it’s impossible to do so. Because growth emerges out of struggle. Change is born from dissatisfaction. And sometimes, in order to welcome in the best things in life, we have to clear out the good things that are occupying their space. We have to let go of the jobs we just like, in order to find the ones we’d love. We have to let go of the relationships we’re complacently comfortable in, to find the ones that would challenge and change us. We have to let go of security to find opportunity. And we have to let go of our pride to find fulfillment. In order to find the great things in life – the things that are capable of ripping us wide open and showing us to ourselves – we have to first be willing to be emptied. We have to be ready to let go of our defenses, to lay down our pride, and to accept that what’s coming next may not be easy or comfortable – but it will be worth it. Every job we have to pass up before we find the one we know we’re meant for. Every relationship we have to opt out of before we find the one that entices us. Every version of ourselves we have to abandon, before we can live in a way that is authentic. Every measure of security we have to sacrifice, before we find a way to thrive inside the wilderness of what we really want. The truth about the great things in life is that they show up only after we’ve displayed the courage to let go of the good. The okay. The comfortable. The easy. The great things are there as a reward for those who are brave enough and ready enough to go after them. And for those who are bold enough to believe that their lives don’t have to peak at ‘good enough.’ (thelightmedia.com)

[behindthesealmondeyes]

#MUSINGS8.0

[behindthesealmondeyes]

I hate it when I smell favoritism brewing. Might as well throw the person in the nearest dumpster or feed that human to the dogs. The latter is much more enticing.

[behindthesealmondeyes]

UGHHH, THAT HUMAN!

Nakakainis pa at hindi nya gets. Gets mo??

[behindthesealmondeyes]

This WAS mine… not someone else's 😂

[behindthesealmondeyes]

And why am I not completely and bottom-deep happy?

[behindthesealmondeyes]

#MUSINGS7.0

[behindthesealmondeyes]

[behindthesealmondeyes]

#MUSINGS5.0

[behindthesealmondeyes]

#MUSINGS4.0

[behindthesealmondeyes]

#MUSINGS3.0

[behindthesealmondeyes]

Yes, you don't.

[behindthesealmondeyes]

The single lady. 💪🏼👸🏻💃🏻💋

[behindthesealmondeyes]

I shall not forget my single life and how awesome it was.