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stop trying.

to change people, to fix them.

you are not their savior. they are not your chance of redemption.

Stop trying to show them the other reflection of light.

stop it. they keep failing to hear your voice, they will only yell out theirs.

instead, go out and keep searching for your real people.

Let them all go and breath it in and out, that’s when you are truly free.

the freedom you seek is within reach, just let them go along with your continuous fear of loneliness. you are already alone out here.

stop, for your own sake.  

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sometimes

sometimes it takes a lot to get me to actully stop and maybe even take a step back, and sometimes it only takes a a mintue, a word, a tone or even a look to get me to turn away completely. 

sometimes backing-off, slowing down, hold-back takes a lot of self controle and will power for me to pull it off. sometimes, well more often than not, I fail to keep up with that even when I know it is what I need to be doing at that moment in time; and I bet myself up for it.

sometimes I can pass that thursh hold, I move over it. I am moving away, i can do it and its not as havey on my chest as it was an hour ago, or the night before. no, its light. its kinda librating on some level. but thats the exact same moment they decide its time to reach out to me. 

and it irrates me to a huge degree. sure, they dont know what you’ve been through to get where you at today but im sure they know how much time passed. why is it when you can finally breath, no matter how small of a breath it is, they start to move that rock back on top of you?

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sometimes the simplest questions hold all the answers 

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so much beauty in this pic

The Place Beyond the Pines (2012)

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every encounter.

Every encounter have become an eye opener of how unfitting all of this is; when you see that all you deem valuable or fun or basic or even reject is simply out of reach to them; well it feels a bit disgusting -for the lack of better term-. 

huh, you would think that once they actually realize that they would put in some effort or at lest appreciate my own efforts but no, no. they are at oh, they don’t get it

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I miss the sun and the sea.

I want music and hawain pizza and ice cream.

I want to be free

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أعَان الله قلباً تمنّى مَا ليس مكتوباً له.

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keep going

keep going, keep moving through the motion of this life.

one day it will happen, its bound to happen. 

one day you will find them, your people, one day they will come and will stuck around and might even take you away. 

one day your person will too. 

keep going for the sake of that thought; who knows maybe they are looking for you too.

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the greatest dream of mine:

I want to walk away, to take steady confident steps in that direction where no one was looking. I want to walk and take in all of the changes that comes my way, the scenery and the weather, the people and the auros and the sounds fading away in the background behind me as new colors, faces and sound come in their place.

I want to leave. Even if for a moment, a day, a month, a year I want to leave l.

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kind remainder, please try to listen to this one

You should never pretend that your "needs" are not real just because you didn’t have to exercise them as of late or at all.

You will meet someone who simply doses not fill them; or worst reject them in general terms. Yet, you are intrigued by him. So you ignore them, chose to not tell him much about them.

And at the end of the day here you are; still all alone thinking and thinking and overthinking time and time again on whether or not this is normal/ his nature and u just don’t know how to deal with this. Or if it’s really bad.

“please, let this be the last time I doubt this”, you will be finding you’re secretly wishing. when you realize/ overthinking that:

He don’t come over no more; so you try to find a chance to see him as much as you can.

He don’t text you as much anymore; so you try to find even the stupidest shit to say.

“Am I annoying or are you real up in the air?”; will be the question that flows around you one more time.

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Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others, wishing to be something we aren’t. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. It is only when you accept everything you are, and aren’t, that you will truly succeed.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

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Don’t worry if someone doesn’t like you. The truth is that most people are struggling to simply like themselves. Be true to yourself and you will find your tribe.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

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Soulmate Au’s for the Signs

Aries

The soulmate AU where the physical state your partner is in, is the state you’re in. If your soulmate has a bruise, you’ll have a bruise; if your partner is sick, you’ll be sick. When you meet your soulmate (via eye-contact) then it’ll stop, and you won’t share the pain of each other’s illness/ injuries.

Taurus The classic red string that is tied to the pinkie, the red string will connect the two soulmates together and lead to each other unconditionally. Unless one of the soulmates sever or cut the string, in which they will both suffer til finally, death.

Gemini  The soulmate AU where every child is born without one of the five senses (blindness, loss-of-taste), so when they meet their soulmate then their “lost sense” will be regained. When/If your soulmate dies, you will lose that “lost-sense” again.

Cancer A soulmate AU where, on their 18th birthday, they will have a heart imprinted on their index (dominant hand) and will gleam a colour and start to heat up when they are close to their soulmate. The colour the heart shines is also the matching colour of your soulmate, and the way to stop the burning temperature of your index finger is to touch your index finger with theirs. Then the temperature will stop to burn forever, but the colour will still shine.

Leo When soulmates meet, they will instantly do the same dance and connect like the main leads in a musical. (OPTIONAL- in this AU there is a dance held every year to help people find their soulmates easier.) 

Virgo When people are born, they’ll have a sentence tattooed on their body and it’s the first thing their soulmate will say to them.  

Libra Love at first sight.

No really. When the soulmates spot each-other, they will instantly click and will have the forward feeling of attraction that will pull them to each other. However for the rest of their life before it, they will feel empty and have a “hole-in-their-heart”.

Scorpio Starting since they were born, everybody sees the bright coloured trail/footprint of their soulmate. No matter what shoe, barefoot, the colour of the track will prevail no matter the material or colour of the surface. Continues even after they meet.

Sagittarius Where soulmates will have dreams of the other’s memories, until they meet. The memories can be random, and have no common ground, but are very vivid as if you’ve experienced it first hand.

Capricorn The world is black and white before you meet your soulmate, eye-contact to be precise. When you or your soulmate dies, the world will be black and white again.

Aquarius Whenever you lose something, like a pen or a key, it’ll end up in your soulmates hands/ possession. 98% chance is the reason why you’ll never find it again, until you find your soulmate. Things you forgot existed, also go to your soulmate, vice versa. You can’t “lose things on purpose”, it doesn’t work like that.  

Pisces Everyone is born with the knowledge of their soulmate’s most loved thing/person/place/item. It will be exactly how they tag it, example: “Mr. Snuffles” or: “My thinking place”.

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all of  this is for fun, and for prompt: i had an idea with soulmate AU’s an I put them here for the zodiac signs.

BONUS- Soulmates can teleport to the soulmate’s side if wished for, but will leave them thoroughly exhausted. 

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When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this - you haven’t.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

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private

I do consider myself a very private person. although I might seem social and share a lot to an outsider; the truth of the matter is that I am more like an iceberg. there’s way more underneath the surface. 

those who are close to me know that well enough, even if some like to believe that they have cracked me up, even when I let them think that.

see, I never found the appeal in being “all out there” and “letting everyone in”. its just not in my nature. 

nonetheless, I find myself wanting to share more and more with you. things that I thought of as sacred or simply “too close to my heart”. dumb or deep, real or dream. I want to share it with you.

I want to strip down to my mere thoughts and feelings and let you in. it started out with a couple of sad songs and somehow I wish you were here read this, reading most and even... all of what I wrote in here.

I want this with you. I want ... 

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warm eyes

I want to look into your eyes, to look directly at them and to hold on for a second longer. 

I want to see the look in your eyes when you see me; to know if I have been truly imaging it all along or not.

I want to look at you and take a little more time to do so, but..

I dont ever find the time, as the world keep coming in on me. and I dont want to get caught by you just as much. 

I want to seen those warm eyes but, im too scared to be seen. 

I often find myself longing to be found yet scared of the very thing im craving the most. 

I want to look at you.