beepbeepbpd - Tumblr blog

[beepbeepbpd]

bpd issue #62

Me, when anyone is vaguely nice to me at best:

[beepbeepbpd]

me, a borderline: *takes an online bpd test*

test results: it is likely that you have borderline personality disorder

me:

[beepbeepbpd]

people will support you having bpd until you actually, yknow….act like a person with bpd

[beepbeepbpd]

i feel left out but i dont know what i feel left out from 

[beepbeepbpd]

someone: -doesn’t reply with as much enthusiasm as me-

me: well if you want me to die you don’t have to be so damn cryptic about it

[beepbeepbpd]

Neurotypicals: Don’t let your condition bother you or affect your life in any ways! I know you have x disorder, but the symptoms shouldn’t really impair your life!

DSM Diagnosis of Literally Every Disorder: The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

[beepbeepbpd]

friend: [is hanging out with someone else]

me: I hope they’re having a good time!

bpd: they hate you and want you to d–

me: [banging pots and pans] I HOPE THEY’RE HAVING A GOOD TIME!

[beepbeepbpd]

so you split on your fp... now what?

I made this simple help sheet for what steps to take when splitting! I hope it helps at least someone out there.

[beepbeepbpd]

when people say “i like needy in a relationship it’s cute” it’s just like yeah you like needy in a neurotypical relationship, needy in a bpd or dpd relationship is over the top, needy becomes dependent, needy becomes one sided, needy becomes really fucking annoying. I wish my version of needy was cute, i wish i didn’t have to use every ounce of energy to not come across as obsessive ughhhh it’s so fucking exhausting

[beepbeepbpd]

lesser known borderline issue:

having problems with figuring out your gender identity and sexuality because you have trouble knowing who you are as a whole, much less the little details

[beepbeepbpd]

[beepbeepbpd]

honestly same

[beepbeepbpd]

the worst thing about being mentally ill is like.. nothing is wrong.. my life is pretty okay right now.. everything is fine. and yet.. theres this sinking feeling in my stomach and i cant stop thinking about dying

[beepbeepbpd]

5 Do’s and Don’ts of Splitting

(For the person splitting):

1. Do: check in with yourself

Don’t: ignore the other person on impulse

The difference:

(checking in) ask yourself what you feel and why. “Ok, I know I’m angry and not thinking clearly. Why did that comment upset me so much? Has this situation upset me before?”

vs

(impulse) leave the vicinity in spite, hoping they feel just as bad. delete them from social media hoping they feel just as bad.

2. Do: express yourself

Don’t: use self-expression as a means to blame

(Self-expression) “I feel frustrated.”

vs

(Blame) “You make me feel abandoned when you forget.”

Pro Tip: take responsibility of your emotions; try your best to change the use of the phrase “you make me feel..” in any scenario.

3. Do: Acknowledge urges

Don’t: Talk about urges with the intention of guilting

(acknowledgment) “I don’t know how else to feel better other than to relapse.”

vs

(guilting) “Now I want to relapse because you forgot about me.”

4. Do: apologize when you are wrong

Don’t: apologize profusely, or use self-deprecating language.

Pro Tip: putting yourself down is not an apology and makes this about you.

(warranted) “I’m sorry I lashed out. Next time, I will say it differently.”

vs

(unwarranted) “I’m sorry I’m so stupid. You probably want nothing to do with me.”

5. Do: set boundaries

Don’t: give ultimatums

(Boundary) “I won’t continue this conversation because I’m upset and need to leave for now.”

vs

(Ultimatum) “If you can’t respond the way I’d like, then there’s no point in talking anymore”

Support someone splitting: read the second part of this post here.

To learn the 5 misconceptions about splitting, click here.

To learn how to set boundaries, click here.

More advice from me here.

New Site: bpd4bpd.org

Coming Soon:

5 Ways to Repair a Relationship After Splitting

5 Misconceptions About Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

[beepbeepbpd]

the fun thing about emotional impermanence is that someone can make grand gestures of affection for you and still, a few interactions later youre back to being unsure if they care about you at all.

sure they told you they did, they told you things they would’ve only told you if they cared, but what if you said something weird last time and they changed their mind about you ?? what if you fucked up in a very subtle way and they no longer mean any of the things they told you ??? what if ????????

[beepbeepbpd]

Gotta love when you make your fp mad so you just keep on saying you’re sorry because you’re so anxious and then you feel like you’re manipulating them into feeling sorry for you and so you say you’re sorry more and then you feel like you’re manipulating them so you say you’re sorry-

[beepbeepbpd]

lol I brought up the time I fucked up and made my fp really upset with me (cause I assumed it had been long enough) and she asked me if I could not bring it up and I was like oh yeah sorry and she was like yeah it's just if I think about it I'm gonna get upset all over again And I want to fucking kill myself I still feel so bad and I tried really hard to make things better and make amends and she's still upset in some respect and I just hate that I fucked up this bad and that I can't fix it I hate knowing that there's something she's still not 100% ok with me about I don't know why I just CANT FIX IT I want to fucking die