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I think I’m a hedge witch.

Witch Aesthetics

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One of my absolute favourite moments in the film is the scene in the Paris hotel room (shocker, I know, but stay with me) because yes, this is the first time they're 'making love', but it's also heavily implied that it's the first time they're doing anything like this and that's what I wanted to talk about.

From what we've seen on screen so far, all of their previous romantic/sexual encounters have been frantic, half-dressed, rushed, but this... It's slow, it's intentional.

They undress properly, getting fully naked together for what I can only assume is the first time...

(And, incidentally, I love the way Alex just stands there, looking adorably nervous, while he watches Henry strip for him - at least until he dives in to help him with his 'sturdy' buttons)

They take the time to simply be, to touch and hold and breathe each other in...

And they explore each other's bodies in a way they clearly haven't before; slow and tender and affectionate...

They're already making love long before they reach the bed, and it's so romantic I could cry.

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Me, too! And you can't convince me otherwise.

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The immediacy of Alex's response...

I mean, the first time I watched it, I heard the question, and my eyes went straight to Henry, expecting to see uncertainty or even resignation on his face. Only he doesn't even have time to feel any of that, let alone show it, before Alex is firmly and unequivocally declaring himself.

I love that.

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I love you. It’s ruining my life.

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This photoshoot gives me life.

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I love the eloquence and clear dedication to his craft and defense of his costar.

Um. Yeah for people in the back. . . .

From MH interview

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Oh. My. God. I am so excited I cannot contain myself.

Red, White & Royal Blue sequel is officially in the works!

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the way alex looks at henry

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TAYLOR SWIFT & POST MALONE Fortnight Music Video (2024)

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This is the cutest!!

Happy Birthday, Henry!

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Nocturne: additional readings on a fantasy novel

Last June, I went to a Taylor Swift themed drag brunch where I met the author of Nocturne. It's a dark book about fantasy and ballet and Chicago - a perfect read for Christmas and Nutcracker season. I read it. I loved it and as I was talking about it to my friends who incidentally were with me at said drag brunch, I said I have so many thoughts I want to write a book report. So I did. And without further ado, since this is the best place for me to share it, below is my essay.

Nocturne by Alyssa Wees

The reader is introduced to the main character, Grace Dragotta, who is initially characterized as a grieving orphan struggling through the Great Depression finding solace in achieving her dream of becoming a magnificent ballet dancer.  Early on in the story we meet other characters firmly lodged in this world, a time of poverty, hunger and tragic death. These characters who have also experienced the tragedy of illness and death respond in particular manners. Grace’s reaction is different and drives her story forward, she is motivated solely by her response to the death of her loved ones and how the experience of those deaths affected her.  As the story progresses,  the audience learns more of Grace’s backstory, and we find that she is not just grief stricken but death touched.

We follow Grace into a magical world of the gods of death and sleep, brothers locked in an immortal battle. She departs our everyday world and steps into a fantasy, a world where magic is real and she must learn of herself and her power. You can read Grace’s story solely as her adventure in this magical world, in that reading she keeps company with countless other fantasy protagonists – Feyre, Bella Swan, Clara Stahlbaum and so many others.

However, I would argue for an alternative reading of the book. Grace’s story is not, in actuality, a magical adventure but a metaphor for her reaction to the trauma she's experienced, her depression, her descent into drugs, the toll it takes on her and her eventual conquering of her personal demons. An equally compelling alternative reading is that this is not a magical story but a story of the veneer Grace herself affixes to an abusive relationship. 

The deaths of Grace's mother and brother are the final icing on the cake of an already challenging life set in the aftermath of World War I and the Great Depression, the driving forces which ultimately are too much to bear and send her spiraling. 

Grace’s day to day existence in the early parts of the story are straightforward – she lives with several other young women in a boarding house solely for the members of the corps of the Near North ballet. We see her early interactions as something of a baseline – days of training and rehearsals, evenings of communal dinners, Sunday church visits and weekend outings with friends. As her story progresses, all of these activities are affected by her magical adventure/descent into the grip of addiction and depression. We see her feel more and more isolated from her peers, flounder in her performance at the ballet and lose touch with her close friend Emilia.

Master La Rosa, the god of Death, and Mr. Russo, his brother, the god of Sleep are the personification of Grace’s addiction and depression. The first time Grace and the reader meet Master La Rosa, he has claws, is shrouded in darkness and appears incredibly dangerous. As Grace falls under his spell, read falls victim to the addiction, he becomes, in her portrayal, a welcome respite and not the monstrous creature she first feared. She spends her days at the ballet studio craving interactions with him and eventually begs him for more and more time together.  Mr. Russo’s smiles seem kind at first and as her descent progresses, he seems more sinister and yet at one point Grace sees his wicked smile and reasons with herself that it cannot be as he was once so kind. She refuses to believe his ill intentions, refuses to believe the negative effects of her actions despite her own personal observations of her altered life. 

Grace travels to the temple with La Rosa, dances with him and for him. These episodes can be clearly read as a person in the throes of a dangerous high. Russo lulling her to sleep and stealing large snatches of her conscious time are equally clear, blackouts and long moments lost to the effects of addiction or the comedown.

As Grace fights her way through her story, she meets another young woman who the brothers battle over and has very clearly suffered through the same addiction as Grace. Unlike Grace, this other young woman lost her battle; she is the cautionary tale. Here we have the turning point, Grace sees how her grasp of those things she's held dear - memories of her mother, violin lessons, her friendship/sisterhood with Emilia and she chooses to fight for them. She wrenches back control and reaches out to Emilia for help. The story ends with Grace choosing to conquer her own demons, taking back the crown and declaring she decides now, she makes her choices - not these gods, not this drug, not this darkness. 

Once I started seeing a parallel story, I found it hard to stop. Little effort is required to peel back the layers of fantasy draping this story to unearth an additional retelling: the sordid tale of an abusive relationship - a lonesome girl, isolated and struggling who falls prey to the promise of something more.  

Grace, orphaned, alone and seemingly abandoned by her only friend, is an easy victim. She longs to feel connected, to be special,  and in this she is no different than countless others. Master La Rosa preys upon her isolation, her sorrow and her desire for acclaim. He quite literally locks her away somewhere her friend cannot follow. He allows her access to the outside world only on his terms. He demands behaviors from Grace which are outlandish. Even when her friend reaches out and when she herself looks for escape, he stymies her. 

In the ending to this alternative reading, we again see her choose herself, choose control over her own destiny. 

Ultimately, there is no one correct way to read this story or any story. Grace's journey is classic - a struggle, a journey, self-reliance and ultimately, a deeper understanding of herself and the world around her. 

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Excuse me sir?! What now?

on January 3, 2024 I didn't expect (another) confirmation of the sequel from the official prime video account on facebook by replying to a comment that didn't mention the sequel in a post that had nothing to do with the sequel ⚰️

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RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE

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Close out of a fic?! I’ve ended relationships for texts exhibiting several of those characteristics. I deserve top shelf editing and so do you.

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casey mcquiston on instagram stories

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I'm gonna love you 'til my lungs give out I promise 'til death we part like in our vows based on the famous painting by joe bowler