because-im-a-cat

[because-im-a-cat]

you seem kind of awkward and it's sweet hahaha

Really? Why do I seem awkward?😁

[because-im-a-cat]

He came to sit with me Cause I didn't want to go inside.

[because-im-a-cat]

So my baby cat found himself stuck in a rainbow today

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[because-im-a-cat]

I’m unalive

[because-im-a-cat]

Some assholes have been putting nails in cheese and treats in dog parks in Chicago and Massachusetts. Also adding antifreeze to water bowls.

Please watch out for your dogs. And if you find out the address of someone doing this, give me the address and tell no one. I will disembowel them.

[because-im-a-cat]

okay my teacher wanted a story that’s gonna shock him

so i wrote him a cute little story about a couple fletcher and mia falling in love

and the last sentences of story are

“so… what is your full name? i mean what is mia short for?”

“michael”

because my teacher is kinda homophobic, i am gonna force him into enjoying a fluffy love story with no gender pronouns and well what a shame you liked a story about a gay couple sorry man

[because-im-a-cat]

I don’t think I could ever date a good actor like he could tell me he loves me and I’d be like nah you said it much more convincingly to kate winslet try again

[because-im-a-cat]

[because-im-a-cat]

WHY DO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

[because-im-a-cat]

do you know how much better life would be if we could zoom our eyes in and out

[because-im-a-cat]

Dogs are the literal best and let me tell you why.

When my parents are out of town, my pup Remmy sleeps downstairs with me. I don’t mind because the basement is chilly sometimes and he’s a fuzzy little space heater. But he always does this weird thing and I didn’t figure out why until last night.

I’m a stomach-sleeper, while the rest of my family are back-sleepers. So Remmy has taken up this very different behavior with me (my family says he doesn’t do it with them). It always takes me a while to settle down, but when I do, Remmy takes his head off of his paws and rests it square in the center of my back.

So I’m thinking, “What’s the point of that? It can’t be comfortable. It cranes his neck in a funny way, and besides, every time I breathe his head goes up and down. That’s a weird thing.” So I formulate a hypothesis, and test it.

Last night, I got comfortable, Remmy put his head on my back, I waited a while, then I held my breath. It took him a while to react, but when he did, he fuckin lost it. He started whining and yipping, and repeatedly licking my face and hands. And I was like oh my god.

Conclusion: my dog noticed that I slept in a way that was different from the rest of my family, thought “that kid is gonna die” and made sure that I never stopped breathing in the middle of the night.

Dogs are fuckin smart as hell. What a wonderful animal.

[because-im-a-cat]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[because-im-a-cat]

[because-im-a-cat]

[because-im-a-cat]

2013 is the first year since 1987 to have different numbers