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Idk

I wish it was simple, but its not, empty, i dont eat alot, hungry but its lonely. Cant do this alone but i fight everyday to keep up, bottom feeder thats whats up like my writing but its not always like this. Its always messy thats how you know its me

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You

This is song about you i never realized how much i loved you until the day you came back to me, all the feelings that i had tucked away started to flood my mind, i dont know how i lasted so long without you, u always was there to catch me never let me fall, you don't know what you do to me, you the reason ive been smiling, my cloudy skies turning bright, just like rain you touch me in every place.

wake up to your text, brings a smile to my face calling me beautiful like its my name, over and over again all these butterflies have woken up they been asleep for a minute, now they up, calling you so we can go to our spot.

Little did i know that i never wanted this moment to stop, always on my mind can't get it to stop, your voice i hear it in my head non stop, like a tech n9ne song it replays and replays cant stop the bass goes right through me, your voice vibrates me, love what im hearin dont stop.  Shift into 6, love the speed as long as your right beside me.

Your like fire to my fuel lets make this explode, aint gonna slow down watch us go, like bonnie and clyde we dont care what people think cause this is us until the end, watch us muthafuckas, here we go.

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Lost

Trapped trapped trapped, theres barely any air; my heads just above the water my anxiety kicking in and my body starts to trip, choking on salt thats all i taste, what a way to die

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Lifefucks

Fuck this life i dont even care, its stupid anyways theres only a few things that are holding me back from losing all grips with reality

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He tells me that he thinks i think hes not good enough oh he is but if he would just do whatever he did do when we firdt go together, like everything is just vanilla its not a banana split with blueberries and strawberries and whip cream and cherries. Its just vanilla. I like cuddle and movie nights and rough sex that lasts hours(sorry day dreaming) but i get the kiss before u leave and i love you only when im leaving type. Theres no more grabbing my ass or kissing me every chance he could get, or telling me im beautiful, or im happy im with you Nothing like that. It never happens and he wonders why i get depressed. I dont ask for materialized crap or money i just want attention and affection and i guess thats way to hard to get obvi, awwwhhhhgg! Frustration. But cant tell him that.

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No idea

I feel like im just a middle person ahhhhg l just here till ya get bored and ya want something new. I got problems but this ain't easy. And i feel so alone like nobody gets it or understands what im thinking or how things make me feel.

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You just got to work on yourself and work toward what you want and need- C.p

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Idk

I dont know what to think anymore, my heads so messed up that I cant think straight having problems eating, cant concentrate, cant sleep, I'm starting to lose my mind I think. I hate living sometimes, now I know why Disney created peter pan growing up sucks, I wish I was little and didnt have the stress as I do now. Bills and bills and Bills I cant keep up with this shit and the stress and no money half the damn time. Omg! Meanwhile I know I'm writing on here and I dont care if people see it cuz well I feel like I'm trapped inside my own head and I'm screaming and no one can hear me. How can I cope? What can I do? I feel like I'm losing myself minute by minute day after day after day.

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Surviving

So heres the thing even when you have the bare minimum for bills like obviously rent, phone, utilities, maybe a car, that doesnt even include food or gas and your bills amount up to like $1600 a month but you only be getting maybe $1300 for just basic bills and some food so you out like $300 then ya be like doing into debt cause no matter what you do to downsize all those things are what you need to survive. But hey your job dont pay enough even if you worked 40+ hours a week or you got people that are on assistance that cant do nothing because they damn health fucks they live up and yea stuck struggling like a muthafucka so your selling everythingk ya got just to pay Bills and have some damn food but still that ain't enough cuz bam government slaps ya with taxs and whatever else they like to take from ya cause they can and if ya dont pay up you end up losing everything or end up in jail. So here comes mental health into play when ya already stressed and depressed because you dont got enough to support ya family whether ya single person or not the struggles are there, like then the government makes you go crazy and ya end up snapping and ending up in a mental institution because ya hsve lost everything just cause they are greedy motherfuckers and just cuz they rich and got everything so they think they can get whatever they want even when ya already poor they take from us, rich get richer and the poorer get poorer. Theres no way of getting ahead I've been trying. Power bill budget a month cheaper right sorta $120 monthly then boom account balence 700$ in 2 damn months I'm barely home and when I am I live in the dark with candle light. See what I'm saying life is such a struggle. Ya got school and they teach ya math and english of course but wheres the classes to budget your money to prepare their young asses for responsibilities in this world, paying Bills and becoming parents that's just straight out hard by itself. When I was little I couldnt wait to be grown, now i wish i could still be laying in the driveway playing with chalk watching the birds in the sky waiting for my moms to be like come in for lunch. Not now health is fucked, cant afford a damn thing, so damn depressed cause I cant get my babies whatever they want, cant he happy cause I'm so far behind, I just wanna get ahead, money cant make me happy but being able to pay my Bills and to eat and not to worry about that shit yes I'd be happy. End of venting mode #Truestory

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Anxiety

My anxiety has made me a slave to it; All the stress is built up to the top it's over flowing like a strawberry float. My chest gets tight my breathing becomes heavy and constant, my head feels unbalanced, I feel like falling over nothing really fixes, of course these stupid chemicals kinda help but it only gives me that temporarily break from the constant negative sad thoughts racing through my head that caused my panic. I pray but I dont think God wants to listen. Maybe I'm wrong.

My body aches from this world imperfectness and I'm left to lay in bed with pain and unsleepness. Wishing the radio would put me to sleep while my husband breathing is giving me chills on my back. Wish his arms would wrap around me like the wind does on a windy day, sorry I'm just dreaming. Now here it goes gonna try and shut my beautiful eyes and go to sleep. Goodnihht xo

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My main problem

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Not sure

My heart is beating fast and my hands are shaking I think of what I'm living in a depressing and dark place my thoughts are dim and my eyes are soaked with tears; I'm still waiting, still hoping things will change, still thinking they will but at the end of the day when I close my eyes at night, my tears still run down my face, I get choked up in my thoughts of not being loved in the way that I should be. I don't ask for much hardly anything really. My list is small but that one that suppose to care, doesnt make the time to read it. Everything else is more importnant! I wish I could be importnant too but I know as each day passes that it's just gonna get worse that it will never change. My sadness will end up drowning me in death sad to say.

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The things he says to me makes me want to die inside maybe if I cant feel it, it wont hurt but how can I possibly make myself numb?

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This mane cant be tamed

CR

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beginning

So here is where i start; a life with no end, so they say everything does come to end but what if it didn't? what if everything just continued to live and stay young and blossomed into the most beautiful and creative things you have ever seen or heard? is it possible? maybe if we all did everything we could to try and stay strong and to live longer then more of our generations down the road would get the real benefits out of this life. it doesn't just have to with recycling and keeping our garbage to a minimal or all those things, cause lets face it not everyone holds my point of view. but there maybe some.