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TOP 880 “SUPERHERO” MOVIES IN 2019

by Maverick B. Updated: Jan. 11, 2019

#1 - GLASS

Glass has bang or bust potential, and from all the birdies fluttering around, critics seem to think it’ll be the latter. I have unfounded high hopes for this, as it’s an interesting take on a new universe of superheroes/thrillers. Let’s coin it the Shyamalaniverse. Easy to say and spell, so that should catch on quickly.

Yes, Mr. M. Night has definitely disappointed us before (Re: The Last Airbender & Lady In The Water), he seems to be making the right moves here.

This continuation proves that Unbreakable was ahead of it’s time, and thankfully Bruce Willis hasn’t yet aged out of the character. Casting the genius of James McAvoy solidified that tertiary role as compelling and intriguing. Even if somehow the movie is a bust, Shyamalamadingdong has already qualified that by hinting the movie isn’t the movie represented in the theatrical trailers. That leads me to believe the 3 central characters, which pivotal aren’t what we will be watching for.

Enter: Casey Cooke. If that’s not a superhero secret identity name - well I guess I’m outsmarting myself. No more comments on this as theories can be just as bad as spoilers.

#2 - CAPTAIN MARVEL

Leave it to the Marvel Universe to release super fucking awesome minority character titles, right before the decade long saga blockbuster finales. Black Panther was an almost perfect Marvel movie, sadly over shadowed by the high anticipated Infinity War (Avengers 3-A). Now that they are closing out this intense storyline in Endgame (Avengers 3-B) a month after Captain Marvel is released, another minority superhero title will overshadowed by the majority of movie goers + critics. Yes, all signs point to Endgame being the film of this century, but I’m much more excited to see a female lead with such wicked awesome (MCU) power potential.

Sure - If Adam Warlock is just a diversion, Captain Marvel could play a huge role in Endgame, which would be so wonderful in my opinion. However, anyone who knows anything about the Infinity Gauntlet Saga, would be hard pressed to say that C.M. will seamlessly integrate into that storyline. This is actually why I’m more excited for Captain Marvel than Endgame. If it stands alone, it will be the foundation of the next saga of Marvel Movies (Phase 4). If it plays as a prequel to the final Avengers movie, then she will have a huge role in restoring the order of the Universe v. Thanos (Ya know, because she can time travel, among her many other super cool abilities). Both scenarios are fucking badass and exciting to me.

P.S. Brie Larson is gonna fucking kill it. You haters can go fuck yourselves.

#3 - DARK PHOENIX

//rant - Apocalypse (2016) was so bad I actually forgot it existed. Now that I have been reminded by many friends of the shit that FOX put out there- I was poised to move this down on my list. But then I went back and watched First Class (2011) & Days Of Future Past (2014), and it gave me hope again. AND THEN I watched The Last Stand (2006) again, and realized I’m obviously a masochist.

Bryan Singer is a mad man with no baseline. He, possibly, could have lucked into making one good X-Men movie on the coat tails of Matthew Vaughn, subsequently losing steam with Apocalypse. And now I’m down in the rabbit hole of the thought process; “Well Simon Kinberg wrote Days of Future Past, which was solid - and has been producing the the show Legion, which is phenomenal… and Bryan Singer is off this project so all signs point to this being more in the DOFP And First Class caliber”… meanwhile all I can do is think about Sansa Sta… I mean… Sophie Turner’s eyes and charisma… and then justify Apocalypse as a Phoenix timeline primer… which then spins me back to how bad The Last Stand was. How did that not ruin Hugh Jackman’s career? I presume Halle Berry, Kelsey Grammer, Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn and Famke Janssen all died in post production depression from that movie. Fucking Patrick Stewart was still knighted 4 years after that, which was probably only by the grace of Ian McKellen and sheer will & power of the Star Fleet.

*head explodes* - rant//

Okay- maybe I’m just really in love with Sophie Turner and want definitively nothing more than for her to kill it! Yeah, that sounds less psychotic. I think…

#4 - Avengers: ENDGAME

Do I really have to explain this one? If you’ve been living under a rock for a decade here you go:

Iron Man (2008) spawned a wonderful series of movies that became the Civil Wars/Infinity Gauntlet Saga. And now’s it’s almost over. So - like… go watch them all and then come back to this list. NOW!

PS. You can skip Captain America: Winter Soldier. It’s a little important to the timeline… but only if you really care to waste two hours of your life.

#5 - Shazam

If you’re not excited for this, then your inner child is dead. This movie, in the same vain as Aquaman, will be the good kind of bad. Which is the best we could hope for with this type of Comic based movie. Think more “Great American Hero” than Shazam reboot.

AND the planned release of DC’s “Captain Marvel” (what Shazam was called previously) is just a giant “fuck you” to the MCU. So you can assume they have recruited the greatest comic book nerd minds and put them in god mode for the production of this. Or they just picked up a screenwriter and director from a street corner and give them 30 million dollars in a gigantic gamble that is certainly not gonna be a disaster.

I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT, FOLKS!

#6 - Joker

Here’s how the equation works for the modern time Cinematic Jokers.

Jack Nicholson = Terrible Joker Heath Ledger = Amazing Joker Jared Leto = Amazingly Terrible Joker Joaquin Phoenix = Terribly Amazing Joker?

Ya dig?

#7 - SPAWN [Delayed?]

It’s not a hard story to tell. Boy meets devil. Devil punks boy. Boy feels punk’d so he tries to murder the Devil. Just like Ross and Rachel, it’s that whole “will they, won’t they” game, and it’s a beautiful train wreck.

You’re right, that’s really not a good synopsis of Spawn. This is a can’t miss though. Three simple words: Jamie Foxx, brah!

What I really mean is, if it ever gets made, this will be a great movie.

#8 - FAR FROM HOME

Homecoming really nailed it for me, and this Spider’s contribution to the Avengers movies was great. I have no reason to put this so far down on the list except I’m really done with the same story over and over again, and they haven’t really promised me anything fresh for this movie. That being said, as long as Tobey Maguire doesn’t breathe near this film, and Marc Webb is never allowed near a Marvel movie again, this franchise has been revived and will continue to rock!

PS. Tobey Maguire is the dumbest way to spell either of those names. I know it’s not his fault, but he really had options - especially in hollywood - to fix this a long time ago. *sigh*

#9 - #877 ANY RANDOM BULLSHIT MEDIA THAT PEOPLE PUT OUT DURING 2019

This is the unofficial sum of the movies/videos/short films/youtube rants/whatever that will be put out there for the public to view that will be better than the final 3 films on this list.

#878 - THE NEW MUTANTS

Calling it right now, it’s going fail so hard that people are going to walk out of the theater. If it doesn’t, I’ll vow to destroy the thing most precious to me. (currently that’s my Uber Eats App)

#879 - SUICIDE SQUAD 2

FUCK… THIS… SHIT… How did they get funding for another one. I blame Will Smith for letting this continue. FUCK THIS SHIT!

#880 - HELLBOY II

Why? I’m not even going to waste my time with this one either. FUCK THIS SHIT x2!

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