beany-bopper-extraordinaire

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

Two immortals are slowly coming to terms with the fact that what they each thought would be a short 50-60 year marriage to a mortal is turning out to be a much longer commitment.

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

Ive been trying to learn more about semi-recent queer history, and it’s so fully of both heartbreak and hope held together.

I sing for two. AIDS taking entire swaths of our people. Gay choirs still persisting anyway, both in that time and now. The art isn’t killed by the death, the need for it becomes stronger. I have to sing for two because they’re not here to sing for themselves.

“Elder gays” doing a youtube interview. They were reacting to a comment expressing surprise at seeing old gay men. Im reminded of a conversation I had with a different old man, one who said, “you know, back in my day, we never had all this gay stuff.” It is said as a joke. It cuts like a knife. My own tongue feels sharp when I say that there were reasons he didn’t see it. How many did we lose. How many were unable to become old queer farts who had the chance stolen from them.

Anita Bryant was a figurehead for public Christian pushback against “the gays.” A local politician had been trying to push forward an ordinance to protect queer individuals from discrimination in Miami-Dade. Thanks to Bryant’s lobbying, it failed. Yet the queer community was partying for being seen at all, that they were considered at all in a positive way. Arm in arm, full of hope, singing “we shall overcome.” An activist from this time would later pie Mrs.Bryant to the face and help provide refuge to immigrant queers. He did not live long enough to see gay marriage legalized.

Our elders knew that it has been this way more often than not, that hope should perhaps be wild and unrealistic. We have been handed so much, and it’s so threatened now. I have been languishing in grief, overwhelmed and exhausted at the idea of fighting a battle I thought was won when I was a child. But here it is. And I must now learn to sing for two. What a terrible, beautiful honor.

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

Neither “the magic is going away” nor “the magic is just beginning” but “the magic has been around for fifty years and society has only partly adjusted”

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

Yarn holder

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

Not to go "if you have ADHD just go for a run" or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you've had enough. Not until you get bored, until you've had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn't low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you're real and best of all it's completely free

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

The Shape of Ideas

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

@steliafidelis we would know nothing of this, of course

No song nor poetry can convey tragedy like a cat who wants through a door

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

Isnt it weird that hotel rooms provide toilet paper, tissues, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and ive even seen some provide make removal wipes, but I’ve never seen a single one provide pads or tampons?

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

hey can you do me a favor and start that project that you wanted to work on please I am begging you to do the first step

literally only the first step

you only have to do the first step

PLEASE PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU SO MUCH

like if it's an art project open your art software or gather materials

If it requires reaching out to someone just send that email or whatever

If it's writing please make an outline

etc etc you know what the project is please start it please PLEASE

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PLEASE

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

jim henson, frank oz & don sahlin showing off how to make various characters with a “whatnot/anything” muppet, 1969

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

Everyone told me testosterone would make me angrier. My family has a habit of attributing any anger I feel these days to the testosterone. I didn't feel any angrier, but my mother would still tell me that no, I am angrier now, and testosterone did make me angrier and *she* could tell.

A week or two ago, I got my proof to the contrary. I'd been having a difficult day, woke up late, and had to rush out the door, ran into minor inconvenience after minor inconvenience, and then the straw broke the camel's back.

I wrote out the kind of angry vindictive seething text message I used to write constantly. I didn't send it, of course, I copied it out and pasted it in the folder of my notes where I put all my rage venting.

And then I thought.

Huh, it's been a little while since I did that. And I checked the time and dates on my previous notes. The last one was a few days before I started testosterone.

And scrolling back, I noticed that they were *constant* at least one a week for *years* I used to get so angry that I would get the serious urge to say cruel hurtful things to or about people I cared about on a near-daily basis. I didn't realize how big of a problem it was until all of a sudden I hadn't gotten that angry in Eleven Months. Nearly a YEAR.

And then I realized in my rush to get out the door in the morning, I hadn't taken my T shot. My testosterone was the lowest it's been since August.

All of a sudden, I had demonstrable proof that testosterone really did make me less angry. That all that "you may not think you're any angrier but you are" was bullshit.

I feel like I should be angrier about this than I am. I know how angry I used to get. About everything. I just felt it again for the first time in a while. For once, it would feel justified to be that angry. But I'm not. I'm not mad. I'm just... disappointed, I guess.

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

Maize

(source)

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

you cannot headcanon your way out of overt thematic structures on which the entire narrative is built

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

[beany-bopper-extraordinaire]

You know how corn was selectively bred out of grasses, and bananas used to have tons of rocky seeds, and avocados used to be like 90% pit, and watermelons once looked

like this?

I think we should breed the pits out of mangoes