beansfrombeans

[beansfrombeans]

Man, I’ve said it before but it is so tempting to reblog good posts by habitual shitheads and add “rare [op url] w”

But I don’t play tumblr pvp mode so I just have to not reblog the post like some sort of normal person

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dawson's redcap

i’m gonna show you guys a bird and i need you to guess what it’s called ok

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if you hear a voice telling you to rewatch dsmp that is the DEVIL SPEAKING do not listen do NOT go back

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This is the first proper kiss I've ever drawn, anyway so Real Life huh

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joel isn’t in next session because of parental leave and oli orionsound subs in SHABLAM

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Okay I have a confession to make I haven't seen Lizzie's s1 empires pov before today bUT APPARENTLY THERE WAS A LOT I MISSED???

WHAT DO YOU MEAN LIZZIE WAS GONNA BEHEAD JOEL IF HE DIDN'T GIVE HER AN HEIR?!?!??!

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ALSO!!! just because lizzie turned out to actually be pregnant, that doesn’t mean all the people spreading the pregnancy rumour were justified. that wasn’t okay. don’t do that it’s weird and creepy

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punk susie and goth kris who also wears supreme are real to me idc

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Has any minecraft youtuber promoted merch on their wedding? if yes we could complete the trinity of mcyt promoting merch at live events

[beansfrombeans]

exciting! yes i would like to see the oneshot

hmmmmm. did spamton ever have any meaningful interactions with mike? they exchange like one line in the fic proper, which suggests that he didn't actually know the guy

okay so this is a loaded question. there’s actually an entire battat mike pov chapter that i outlined and conceptualized where hes super overwhelmed by taking care of tenna and attempts to go to cyber city and contact spamton to make him feel better— only to realize that literally nobody has heard from him. he doesn’t have the heart to tell tenna this, but spamton eventually hears thru the grapevine that mike had been looking for/attempting to help him and that’s what triggers his mike-related lines in game. but it lengthened chapter 23 sm/felt like it would be sort of out of the way and a not-great last chapter so it got scrapped. would ppl wanna see a oneshot of this??

[beansfrombeans]

what are your ideas about jess and dot?

thanks for asking! i’m about to say so many words at you

here is something that gets lost in the retelling: polkadot patterson and jessica telephone were not always legends. we don’t have exact statistics about their performance in s1, because we weren’t keeping track of that kind of thing then, but we do have the election results. dot and jess were both randomly chosen by two max-out blessings (two remarkably simple blessings, might i add - future blessings have fun names but these were just called “max out hitting” and max out pitching”) and then immediately chosen again by two team-swap blessings.

so imagine dot and jess, two completely random players on two completely random teams that won these blessings by completely random chance... who are suddenly the best at what they do. that’s not an exaggeration; in s1, people weren’t just randomly five stars. these two people, these two perfectly average players, got the blessings that made them powerful, and then immediately got uprooted from their teams and moved to new ones.

maybe this is me just editorializing, but here is a question for you: imagine you have just been blessed with divine power. imagine you have been thrown into an entirely new home at the whims of people who claim to love you. and then imagine there is exactly one other person in the world who has just experienced the same thing. do you call that person? i would call that person. this is where the story begins.

i don’t think dot and jess are Friends friends. they’re not “call each other at 2am” friends and they’re not even really “i’d pick you up from the airport” friends. but in the beginning, before there were blessings like we know them today, before there was some kind of common physical change, they are the only two who were rewritten. they are the only ones who understand.

i think they talk, sure - i think maybe they meet up the day after election day and talk about how things are going. i think they’re friendly. i think they enjoy playing against one another, when the circumstances permit. but this isn’t a story about friendship. this is a story about being famous.

dot and jess both handle being chosen by the fans in different ways. jess leans into it, hard. jessica telephone, killer for the pies - she loves it, and they love her. she’s massively adored and she plays that up, leans into the celebrity. dot doesn’t do that in the same way. i think jess sees the blessing as something to grow into and dot sees it as something to live up to, an impossible standard, a bar that they’ll never meet but have to keep trying.

but it’s actually jessica who becomes disillusioned with blaseball first, for a very simple reason: blaseball takes something from her first. it takes sebastian and replaces him with a copy that’s not quite right. she’s seen teammates burn, seen them choke on peanuts, but this is the first time it was her life, her personal life that got changed. this is the first thing it’s done that she cannot forgive.

seasons go on. dot keeps pitching, aiming for perfection; jessica keeps playing, even if her smiles for the fans are a little more plastic now. if you’d like to expand the narrative, nagomi mcdaniel enters the conversation about now: she gets a boost from a peanut and another from a blessing. she goes from one of the best natural batters to the best batter, period. there’s a new legend, someone else to go out for drinks with after elections end.

and then the idol board appears.

in season six, jessica and nagomi both get shelled. (dot is alone for elections, one constant touchstone for half a decade gone.) in season seven, jessica gets out, but dot is shelled. (jessica alone; she can handle it.)

but it’s season eight that matters, because season eight is when the fans put jessica back. season eight is when the fans are so interested in their idol payouts that they don’t care what they’re doing to her. season eight is when she is superallergic and people wonder what that’s going to do to her in the shell. as if it’s abstract. as if it’s something they can randomly wonder about.

at the end of season nine, the fans also decide to play a game with polkadot’s life. something will happen to the shelled player at the top of the idol board, and we don’t know what, but the fans want to find out. so the fans idolize dot, and it turns out to free them. it could’ve killed them; it didn’t. within a handful of days nagomi mcdaniel is also unshelled, random chance at work again. things are looking up. there is something approaching hope.

this is what i want you to understand about the shelled one’s pods, about the idol board, about everything. the fans gambled with polkadot’s life and won. the fans gambled with jessica’s life and lost.

i originally had this idea over grand siesta, so i’m going to end it there: jessica has fallen from the sky down into kansas city, and dot is back in canada. it’s that first and last thing that interest me: did you know polkadot was on the breath mints, back in season one? did you know that only seven original breath mints players were left on the team over the grand siesta, that two of them are alternates?

everything changes. blaseball is not kind, even to its stars.

polkadot begins in kansas city, with a regular season and then a blessing and a series of increasingly irregular seasons. jessica ends in kansas city, after losing her brother three times in two ways, after being chosen and then not even getting to remain the best player. polkadot was chosen by the fans to be saved, and jessica was chosen to be doomed. polkadot is here because they want to see her, and jessica never wants to see them again - even if it’s not their fault that the fans rescued them, it’s hard not to be bitter about being the one left behind.

everything changes, but it’s still the two of them. even with jessica newly jaded, even with polkadot squiddish, even with reality overwriting itself time and again - it’s the two of them, parallel paths tangling together. it always has been.

this is what blaseball does: it gives you one person, only one, who understands unconditionally, and then it makes that friendship fraught, hard, impossible. and this is what people do: they maintain that friendship anyways.

[beansfrombeans]

jizzie child call that ldshadowbaby

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[beansfrombeans]

Dissociative disorder? I find it quite