beachbaby271-blog

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quotes:

oliver and lucy were pirates on the high seas that had just found treasure.

me: what was in the treasure chest?

oliver: gold, diamonds, frankincense, myrrh, and watches.

after making them an egg, avocado and salsa verde breakfast burrito.

oliver: i am calling this the burrito of fire.

lucy: i’m call this the burrito of love.

after taking the floss out of the drawer in my bathroom.

lucy: can i camouflage my teeth?

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freeze.

it is going by oh-so-fast.  these moments with my last baby.  i feel like he barely even deserves the title of baby, my thirty pound 3T wearing 20 month old.  

but i will cling to that label as long as humanly possible.  because he is the last.

i want to capture every tiny thing that he does.  the things he giggles at (his brother, silly noises, elephants), the toys he obsesses over (cars and balls), the joy and wonder and innocence that he exudes every hour of every day.

i know what’s coming.  the older two (who enamor and fascinate me in a different way) have revealed the challenges.  the come-backs.  the strong-will. the difference-of-opinion.  the not-so-snuggly.

and it rips my heart out, anticipating this.  i am excited for his future, but i want time to freeze.  

right now.

i want your fascination with a bucket-full of bouncy balls to be never ending.

i want my kissing your boo-boos all better to be the only consolation you need.

i want the gibberish and almost words be to our entire conversation forever.

i want that early morning satisfaction of just cozying deeper into my arms to be all you want.

i want that exhilarated delight at glimpsing a bird in flight, a huge semi-truck down the road, or the crescent moon in the night sky to be ongoing.

i want the arguments and the tantrums and the negotiations and the sneaky deception to just never happen.

i want the worst thing that you do is smack your sister on the head when she takes your toy or scooting to step stool over to the counter to sneak chocolate.  

i want you to freeze.  stop growing.  stop learning.  stop being too big to be my baby.

you are my last.  so please forgive me if i squeeze you just a little bit harder, or kiss your face just a little bit longer.  or watch you in amazement just a little bit more.

thank you, alexander.  for your joy.  your delight.  and for the surprise of being my baby.

just do me one little favor, and freeze for a bit.

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Priorities.

Alexander, nineteen months, can only say a hand full of words: Mama Dada La-la (Oliver) Gus (our dog) Tutu (thank you) and...chocolate Of course, my boy.

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The many emotions of bath time with all three: "Oh they are playing so well together!" "OK, I'm bored." "There is a small flood occurring." "I'm so tired of saying the same thing over and over. And over." And then clean naked baby face selfie.

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Blurry kids because...CANDY.

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Pinterest strikes again.

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confessions.

* it has been a really, really long time since i have blogged.

* disney is stressful.  it was a blast, my kids were amazing, but there are SO MANY PEOPLE.  and we went when it was “light crowds.”  so many freaking people.

* my baby has hand, foot and mouth disease.  and he’s been itching so bad that some of it has become infected. it is horrible, horrible, horrible.  it hurts me just to look at him, i can’t imagine how he is feeling.  he wakes up all the time, he barely eats because his mouth is so sore.  i feel like there is no end in sight.  but i have to constantly remind myself it’s not cancer. 

* my very favorite part of disney was not a ride or a princess.  it was when this sweet old lady sprinkled pixie dust out of a magic wand onto me, my mother, my daughter and my son.  she said this little rhyme each time about faith and trust, and curtsied afterwards.  i think she was my fairy godmother.  now i really believe dreams come true.  and there is still pixie dust glued to my scalp.

* we are a buying a house.  we might be crazy. i am obsessed with putting shopping online for rugs, putting them in my shopping cart, and not buying them.

* i am leaving my two oldest unsupervised in the bathtub right now.  and ignoring the flood that is going to be on the floor when i return.

* i completely doubted my decision of putting oliver in a half-day kindergarten.  i thought he was be so behind and not ready for first grade, but i was completely wrong.  the boy is already writing sentences, sounding out words, and has a ton of sight words memorized.  he is so much further along than when i was teaching kindergarten in a very urban setting.  only eight kids in the class makes all the difference.  i am so thankful, and so proud.

* having sick kids makes me drink more wine.

happy saturday, y’all.

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confessions.

* my baby was sick yesterday.  fever of 102, and all he wanted to do all day was snuggle.  i could not put him down.  i even broke out the ring sling i haven’t used since he was tiny, just so i could stand up for a while.  it was heaven and hell.  i was hurting because i knew he was hurting, but the fact that he just wanted to lay on my chest brought such bliss.  and, thank God, he’s all better today.  weird childhood illnesses.

* we are going to disney world in october.  most of my friends think i am wacky that i haven’t taken my children before (we are only an hour away) or even have annual passes.  but i always wanted my kids to actually remember it.  it ain’t cheap.  but i’ve started looking at how to “do disney” on pinterest, and it gives me a bit of a coronary.  the last time i went was before apps and fast passes,and making reservations at “be our guest” six months in advance, at midnight.  whatever happened to just showing up, waiting in lines, and having the most magical time?  there is this whole cultic disney culture with tips and secrets and it’s freaking me out.  it’s a small world after all, people.

* my kids favorite show to watch right now is transformors: rescue bots.  and i’m a little bit addicted.  it’s wacky, and creative, and has a story line that actually builds, with cliff hangers and sneaky bad guys with plans.  so i try to be productive during the 40 minutes of tv they are allowed, but i get sucked in to robo-dinos and dr. morocco (who i called dr. mahogany for a long time until my annoyed five year old finally corrected me).

* my three year old has been getting into these crazy arguments, where she is very wrong about something (example: our car is gray, and she told me it was black).   i keep telling her that i am older and know a tiny bit more, but she will not have it and screams and cries in denial at what ever the fact may be. she REFUSES to back down. but then, so do i.  hmmm...i wonder where she gets it from.

happy friday, yall.

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My heart...

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don’t leave.

we spent five glorious days at my parent’s beach last week, soaking up all the sunshine that our own drenched city hadn’t seen for nearly a month.  on the last day, the waves were larger than normal, breaking over our heads, causing the surfers to ditch work and come out to play.

lucy wanted to venture out, her bright pink inflatable ring around her waist, death grip on my hand. i would hold on tightly and attempt to leap over the waves with her as they tossed us about.  oliver, my more confident swimmer, was brave enough to float over most of them by himself. they both loved the thrill and the adventure of it, salt water splashing their faces, the ride of the ebb and flow.

after a small sand castle break, we head back out into the waves.  this time, however, lucy gathered her boldness, and let go of my hand.  teasing her, i started pretended to leave, waving goodbye as i went.  

“let go of me, mama, but don’t leave me.”

oh, how true those words rang in my heart.  all of my parenting experience can be wrapped up in this simple plea uttered by my three year old.

let go of me.  let me walk, let me stumble and pick myself back up, let me climb and crash and climb again.  let me go, let me ride my bike around the block with no training wheels.  let me go, let me hold the spoon and feed myself. let me smear yogurt all over as i gradually figure out how to put it in my mouth.  let me go.  let me talk to these other kids by myself and make new friends.  let me go as i walk into my classroom by myself.  let me go as i scale the crest of the wave and laugh my own fearlessness.

but don’t leave.  stay close.  let me know you are always there for me. watching out for me, in the background.  allowing me to fall or be shy or get rejected or make a mess.  but cheer me on.  allow me to see you.  watch me. smile at me. laugh and cry with me.  

but don’t leave me.

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I kinda like these people.

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Grumpy, cranky, restless teething baby...

And my husband says, "I'll stay in his room tonight, so you can take the night off." Sexiest. Man. Alive.

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mean girls.

so, lucy had her first true mean girl experience today.  we were at a park playing in the glorious sunshine after weeks of rain and flooding.  a bunch of preteen girls were practicing cheers and lucy was fascinated.  she told me she was going to watch their show.  after a few cheers, my bold three and half year old gently tapped one girl on the arm.

“excuse me, can i play with you?”

the girl literally put a hand in front of lucy’s face and said, “um, we’re in the middle of something here.”

i was ready to punch the girl in the throat.

how am i ever going to survive middle school?

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Yes, it is.

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things you never want to hear:

* waiting to pick up my kids from the play area in ikea, “we have a code yellow in the ball pit, a code yellow in the ball pit.”

* “mama, alexander put these in the toilet” as she hands me dripping wet toys in the kitchen.

* “yes, you do have a fractured rib.  avoid picking up anything heavy.” like my 27 pound one-year-old. great, thanks, i’ll get right on that.

also, i’d like to know how the spiderman sticker found it’s way to the inside of my underwear.

happy friday, y’all.

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this boy:

is officially five today:

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oliver turns five.

for some reason, five seems extremely significant.  five years as a mother, five years growing and learning and loving with this amazing and special boy.

dragon birthday extravaganza. 

shield making.

he wanted a mean dragon.  fire-breathing and all. thanks mom, master cake maker.

the storm clouds rolled in and drenched all our food, guests and goodies...but we were not deterred. good times were had.