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Boyf Riends at a Talent Show

Jeremy: Before the talent show begins, I would like to make sure the mic is working.

Jeremy: So if you're name is Michael, please stand up.

Michael, standing up all the way at the back: And that concludes the Mike check!

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Brooke, Chloe, and Jenna with their hands on their chests: Where is it??

Rich walks into the room, slapping his hands in his chest: What’d we lose, guys?

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Rich: I'm ugly.

Michael: No you're not.

Rich: I look like a foot.

Michael: Some people have foot fetishes.

Rich: You make it impossible to hate myself.

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Connor, after painting his nails: Ah, yes. Nails as black as my depression.

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Michael: Dude,,, if your leg got cut off, would it hurt?

Jeremy: Obviously it would hurt, stupid. Your leg got cut off.

Michael: But where would you feel the pain?

Jeremy: In your leg— ....woah...

Michael: E x a c t l y, bro.

Michael: How are you gonna feel the pain,,,,

Michael and Jeremy at the same time: If your leg got cut off!

Rich and Christine: *slowly takes away the blunt from the two*

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Jeremy: *sneezes*

Rich: Hail Satan.

Jeremy: Wh-what?

Rich: What?

Jeremy: What did you just say?

Rich: I said... God bless you...?

Jeremy: You said ‘Hail Satan’.

Rich: Why the fuck would I say ‘Hail Satan’?

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Youtube Be Dropping Hints

Jeremy: I keep getting dating advice ads from Youtube. I think it’s trying to drop hints.

Michael without looking up from his phone: Yeah, it’s trying to drop hints that you should go out with me.

Jeremy, completely flustered and baffled: Euh-wha...?

Michael: You heard me.

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Flirting 101

Michael flirting with Jeremy: I read online that your brains have special neurones that help us detect other lips in the dark. You wanna test that theory out?

Jeremy, being a fucking dumbass and having no clue that Michael is flirting with him: That’s so cool! Let’s test it out!

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Micha wants a Boyfriend

Jeremy: *Goes off about him finally being with Christine*

Jeremy: “But yeah, Christine said--”

Michael: “Okay, but like not to be a petty bitch or anything, but can you shut the fuck up about your relationship for five seconds? You’re not helping my lonely gay-ass over here.”

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Evan to Jared: If I throw myself at Connor, there’s a 100% chance he’ll catch me.

Evan: HEY CONNOR!

Connor: *Turns around to see Evan charging over towards him*

Connor: Evan no, I am holding coffee-

Connor: *Drops coffee to catch Evan*

Jared: Woah, let me try.

Connor: *Steps to the side and let’s Jared fall*

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Connor doesn't like Larry.

Larry: *Walks into the living room to see Connor passed out on the couch*

Connor: *In his sleep*

Connor: "I'm gonna rip your head off."

Connor: "I'm gonna rip your damn head off, Larry."

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“You know, when you suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, and depression like I do, Christmas time can be a real slap in the titties, Joe.”

- George Salazar

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Rich: *Takes selfie in the Hospital with a peace sign, hooked up to a bunch of machines*

Rich: *Posts selfie on Instagram*

Rich: “I lived, bitch.”

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Wake up, Sleepy heads.

Rich: *Clangs pans together*

Rich: “RISE AND SHINE, TALL-ASS!”

Jeremy: *Confused, shirtless, and half asleep*

Jeremy: “Wha?”

Michael: *Props self on elbow behind Jeremy, also confused, shirtless, and half asleep*

Michael: *Grabs glasses*

Michael: “Yo, what the fuck?”

Rich: “OH, SHI-”

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Michael = Daddy.

Jeremy: *Phone rings*

Rich: Damn, tall-ass. You still call your dad Daddy?

Jeremy: *Staring dead into Rich's eyes and answers phone*

Jeremy: "Hi, Michael."

Rich: *chokes on drink*

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IMPORTANT THINGS IN THE BOOTLEG

Jeremy’s massive thing of Aveeno and tissues. Same.

Will Connolly has nice legs.

Jeremy tucks in his shirt? What a nerd.

The choreography in More Than Survive is legendary.

Chloe is an asshole. Also, I’m pretty sure Jeremy was going to defend Jenna? Good boy.

Jeremy is so gleeful when he sees the sign up sheet? Fuck everyone who says he only signed up for Christine- this boy clearly wanted to do it, he was just too scared to go for it.

The sad look as he realizes that the signup is just going to end in humiliation.

CHRISTINE’S LIP BALM??? Get moisturized!

IS MY MACBOOK PRO HARD DRIVE

Brooke’s hair is gorgeous.

Jeremy bops along to Michael’s rap, which is adorable. It also shows that he’s only really comfortable around him- compare Jeremy in the chorus of More Than Survive, where he’s flailing and totally unable to keep with the choreography to Two Player Game, where he and Michael are completely in sync.

Handshake is repeated in Two Player Game! Motif confirmed!

Speaking of which, Michael himself is totally with the choreography. I think this can be taken as either him accepting his place in the hierarchy, or at least having the social skills to navigate it. Either way, it makes sense that he has trouble relating to Jeremy’s frustration with fitting in- in his own way, he already does.

Also, the prop and scene transitions are fantastic? The entire set is ridiculously versatile, and it’s incredible how seamless the transitions are and how they blend into the dancing. Also, the fucking sky bean bags. Who do you think had to stand up on the catwalks and drop those? I wanna know.

At 7:40 we have some quality hand flapping action? I mean, this entire scene is great- Jeremy stands up straighter and looks so genuinely excited, and he runs up to the poster, so ready to get genuinely into this play… and then Rich calls him gay and publically humiliates him.

Speaking of Rich, he’s kind of a dick in this, isn’t he? I mean, the whole bullying thing definitely is not a mild issue- Rich spends most of his time attacking Jeremy. At 2:40 he straight up punches Jeremy in the nuts, he actually lays hands on him during the “BOYF” scene, and when he’s singing to him, at one point he’s clearly about to punch him. Hard.

Speaking of that moment, I want to point out Jeremy’s instantaneous reaction to Rich raising his hand. That’s not a normal reaction. Normal people block their faces, obviously, but the way Jeremy automatically does it before Rich even finishes raising his hand, that’s not normal. That’s what people do when they’ve been hit. A lot.

Anyways, Michael is amazing? Such a supportive friend. So many good friendly touches. 9:45’s little face pat, and the entirety of Two Player Game stick out.

“WELL I’M JEREMY!”

And lemme talk about I Love Play Rehearsal too. I love Christine, and she’s so amazingly extra in everything she does. I also love how happy Jeremy is listening to her, even if he’s too nervous to talk, and how Christine is totally cool with that! They have a lot of great chemistry in this!

I also love how it’s absolutely obvious that Christine is horrible at reading the room and is constantly unaware of the innuendos she’s making. My beautiful, oblivious daughter.

And, she’s so comfortable with him! You go girl! Shout at the sweaty man!

Jeremy is a ball of spastic energy. Constantly. I can relate.

Shout out to Jeremy putting his hands over his lap. It’s okay man. We all have boners for Christine.

Jeremy’s little smile during her song? It’s adorable. 100% wholesome. He’s so in love.

And Christine poking his… like, everywhere? Cute as hell.

And for that matter, Jeremy’s nervous tic of smoothing down his hair? Really cute. He does it a lot too!

Jake is apparently also on the Frisbee Golf Team. Make of that what you will.

Mr. Reyes hugging Christine. Quality comforting. My poor daughter, who then proceeds to harass him during the Hot Pocket Break. Perfect girl.

She also seems really hesitant initially with Jake. Her body language is very much “Leave me alone please.”

Jeremy has canonically had to go to the nurse over breakdowns.

Rich has seen Mr. Reyes urinate. This isn’t important, but like. It happened. Why.

Rich spends the entire discussion before his song urinating while rolling his hips. And doesn’t wash his hands. Then puts said hands all over Jeremy. Jeremy has indirectly touched Rich’s dick.

Rich’s lisp comes back when he shouts at Jeremy, then he slaps himself. Damn, that’s heartbreaking.

Also, irrelevant to Rich, but Jeremy’s hands are in his pockets 85% of the time. Like a bisexual penguin.

Rich at 20:33 keeps touching Jeremy’s face. He still has not washed his hands.

AGAIN, RICH WAS ABOUT TO SERIOUSLY FUCK UP JEREMY’S FACE, AND FROM HIS IMMEDIATE, REFLEXIVE REACTION, WE CAN TELL THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE.

Please, someone make a tutorial for the SQUIP hand gestures. I love them.

Rich makes Jeremy stand straight. Foreshadowing much?

When Rich sings “Rule!” at 22:25, he does the rising fist motion from Pitiful Children.

Jeremy’s flailing at 23:09, beautiful anxious deer child. He’s beauty, he is grace, he’s gonna shove a SQUIP in his face.

“Aren’t you gonna wash your hands?”

Rich flashing Jeremy while he shouts about how the SQUIP makes it so he doesn’t get piss on his hands.

Rich is a nasty boy.

Jeremy’s reprise of the SQUIP Song is great.

YEET

Michael has reentered the narrative and they both sound so happy to see each other.

Beanbags, our twin heavenly Lords and Saviors, are made with space fabric.

Jeremy and Michael move in perfect tandem, like holy shit. They straight up swap controllers for a bit and keep playing as they talk and dance and annoy each other? Incredible.

This is the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen. So full of holes.

Michael tickles Jeremy? GOOD SHIT.

Jeremy steals Michael’s controller and his face has such glee. So playful. So pure.

Friendly reminder that part of the reason Jeremy took the SQUIP and kept obeying it was fear of become his father- depressed and negligent.

The awkward hell of having to stare at Mr. Heere’s crotch. Every time he shows up. Jeremy, I feel your pain.

Mr. Heere goes in for the hair tussle and is brutally rejected by his son. In general, Jeremy is really upset by his parents, both his dad and his deadbeat mom.

Michael is super insecure.

Honestly, this whole thing is like watching the build up to a tragedy. It’s honestly unnerving to now Jeremy’s going to get the living shit kicked out of him.

Jeremy flipping Michael off at 29:07 is my aesthetic.

Rich and Jake helping with the scene transitions are amazing.

Michael’s constant glaring at Spooky Stock Boy is legendary. Quality moral support here.

Every Time Jeremy’s voice cracks, I triple in power.

The robotic backup singers and theremin during Stock Boy’s reprise are my sexuality.

Tag yourself, I’m massive hat lady.

“Minty?”

MICHAEL IS SO FUCKING HYPED FOR THAT PEPSI, DAMN SON.

More quality Jer-flaps at 34:23.

JEREMY’S SEIZURE. HOLY SHIT MY SON IS IN PAIN. ALL WHUMP IS CANON.

I mean, seriously, that’s an actual goddamn seizure. That’s horrifying.

NO JENNA DON’T RECORD JEREMY DYING, GET FUCKING MEDICAL ATTENTION.

Christine is so fucking worried, and she pushes Jake away for making fun of Jeremy. I love her.

ERIC’S HERE BITCHES.

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Mike Faist

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