be-dainty

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Yo sólo quiero ser flaca 💔😔

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did so much cardio today, total of 88,500 steps this week! lovee my apple watch its been so mptovating to have that visual aid and all the info you see about your workouts

also started accutane 20mg a day... it has to be taken w food AND 20g of fat to work effectively. kinda super pissed about that but i want it to work so bad, i  not only feel big but ive got a face of acne and  cant bare to have both much longer, lets hope i lose some weight soon.  but ive been doing great counting all my calories and not missing any meals in MFP!

lost 10 lbs total since i started at my highest weight of 150

still got 20ish to go!!! 

ive got this

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tumblr is basically a gay bar in a mental institute

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Bella Hadid in NYC

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Cherries

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I walked a total of 88,000 steps this week!

my calves are getting bigggieboi with muscle now though ugh

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i wish i could be as naive and carefree as my guy friend who is trying to gain weight cause hes naturally so skinny and picky eater -- he legit argued with me that hard liqour like vodka, rum, tequila, gin had NO CALORIES i was like BRUH IT DOES TRUST ME. like 100 per shot, imagine a life

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the moment i knew id gained serious weight is when i had 3 stomach rolls sitting instead of 2

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If “starvation mode” or “fat storing mode” exist how does anyone become skinny

Real talk though, my friend keeps saying DONT LET URSELF GET INTO FAT STORAGE MODE!! but i legit dont understand how this applies, maybe if people are fasting for most of the day then binge a lot late every night? 

if our body stores fat when we eat low amount of cals (say 600 in a day) then how do  so many people with EDs get to where they are with skinniness>=???? ?

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Use Too-Tight Clothing to measure progress w weight loss

I dont know why but for me when i weigh myself weekly, or more, if the number stays the same or goes up it puts me in such a bad mood i actually binge and go way off track (i know, lowkey wish it made me more focused but nope). SO i dont weigh myself more than 1 or 2 times per month, and im using clothing that i used to fit into at my smallest and some new items like these perfectly high waisted vintage black sweatpants  just thrifted recently - that are sadly too tight around my waist as a mens Medium...  They fit but they’re tight and leave a bit of an indent on my big ol belly.  which i cant stand tight clothing when im not skinny

anyways, did good tonight but was way to sore from yesterdays weights and cardio to workout so im gonna go for a 2km walk rn at 11pm

my dinner was 3 glasses of wine which i didnt realize was 500 cals or some shit

oops. still within my deficit at least which is 1230 (i ideally want  to be eating 500-1000kcal per day)

iight time to go smoke this joint ive been on tumblr for 1 hour now mindlessly scrolling and need to get high and then sleep

[be-dainty]

Destroy the stereotype that anorexics don’t eat

Some days I will eat three meals a day, others I will eat nothing. Some days I’ll have fast food, others I will shake at the thought of it. Some days I will lie in bed all day, others I will get up and be productive. Some days I can’t stop thinking about food, others it passes over my head.

On good days I seem ‘fine’. But you don’t see what goes through my head on my bad days.

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My guy friend recently said that I “can’t have an eating disorder” simply because I'm 150lbs and “dont look sick or have bones showing.” Thanks for the motivation to starv bud 

you can have an ed at any size, gender, age. skinny, normal, fat. male, female, nonbinary. 8, 16, 19, 40. it doesnt matter. anybody can a have a ed

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i miss feeling like me

I hate the feeling of my thighs rubbing

I hate not fitting into tons of my own clothes anymore that i fit into perfectly fine the past 5 years

i miss wearing shorts without having cellulite 

i miss sitting down and having only one small roll and not 2 huge belly rolls

i miss wanting to take a selfie when i see a mirror or feel cute

i miss not overthinking every outfit and choosing coverage over style

i miss not feeling gross all the time

i miss feeling like me