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I’m not sure where to begin or how to even explain how much I love and appreciate this dude. From only getting a couple hours of sleep before picking me up at the airport, to driving all over central Florida and being so willing to put up with me and my friends. He never truly complained and I know if I asked him to do it all over again, he’d say yes in a heartbeat. I will always cherish the times I have with him, as they are few and far between. The goodbyes never get any easier and “hurts like hell” doesn’t even begin to describe it, but I would go through a million goodbyes for him - because in order to say goodbye you need a hello first. I’ve already got a countdown on my phone for the next time I see him, and lets just say 77ish days is way too far away.

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Florida treated me well, and it was everything I remembered it to be and more. It still felt like home, and it’s safe to say my heart is still very much invested in Disney. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel as at home anywhere else as I did there.

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On Heartbreaks 7/14/2017

Today, I overheard a conversation and although I didn’t know who was being talked about my heart went out to her. I work at a coffee shop and a friend was picking up coffee for someone who’d just had their heart broken by a boy. They ran into an old friend while picking up coffee and I happened to hear how broken up the young girl was.

What got to me was that the only thing this person had to say was “It’s been a month. She’s still not over him?”

I’m trying not to judge, because maybe this person’s never been in love. Maybe she’s been lucky enough to not have to experience heartbreak, but I think too often heartbreaks are overlooked and compassion is lost.

Heartbreaks aren’t fun. They’re messy and painful and as dramatic as it sounds, it’s incredibly hard to see yourself without that person you’ve become attached to.

Try as I might, I will never forget my first heartbreak. It’s been years and the memory still holds clear as day.

I walked into my mom’s room after spending an hour on the phone getting broken up with after a 2 year relationship. I had spent forever trying to compose myself enough to let my mom see me. I walked into her room and even though I had just finished crying all I could muster was a whisper. I didn’t even recognize my voice as it cracked.

“Mom, he broke up with me.”

I was so sure she was going to think I was being dramatic or over-emotional, but the look on her face told me she understood just what I was going through. She walked me back to my room and held me as I cried in her arms for hours. She let me feel everything I needed to feel, and was there to hold my hand through it all.

I think what hurt me the most was that I wasn’t just losing a hand to hold or someone to kiss goodnight. I was losing my best friend, the person I’d poured my heart and soul into for the past two years. They had been there for some of the biggest moments of my life, and our future had been discussed so many times.

I remember not wanting to eat. I couldn’t sleep for weeks. I left my house to go to work and came right back home. And I’m sure plenty of people are going to tell me I didn’t handle it the right way and that I was supposed to put myself back out there, but here’s the thing.

There isn’t some secret heartbreak formula. There’s no right or wrong (for the most part) way to get over someone.

Did I eventually get over him? Yes. Did I have to learn to trust people again and did it take some work? Of course.

Heartbreaks hurt, but eventually we all pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off in our own time. Slowly you realize the world hasn’t stopped turning and you don’t need someone else to be okay. You learn from the mistakes you both made.

Eventually, you find the right person. They’ll make you realize exactly why it never worked out with anyone else. You’ll understand why you had to go through those heartbreaks to get to where you are.

I guess what I want to say is, to that girl going through her first heartbreak, who cares if it’s been a month? Don’t let anyone tell you you’re too upset or overdramatic. Heal on your own timeline. In the meantime, lean on friends. Go have brunch. Treat yourself to a spa day. Focus on you right now. You’ll hurt and hurt until you blink and suddenly it’s been months and he hasn’t crossed your mind in days. Suddenly it won’t sting every time you hear his name. Although it may not seem like it, it’s going to be okay. There’s someone out there for you, and he just wasn’t your Prince Charming.

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On Doing Things In Your Own Time 7/9/2017

.This week is going to be an exciting one!

I am finally being baptized on Wednesday, and I couldn’t be more ecstatic. I’ve had years to do it and ample opportunity, but this is the first time in my life I have felt ready to take this plunge because it’s what I want. I know in my mind and in my heart that I’m ready.

I finally started going back to church this year on Easter Sunday, and man has my life changed since then. I was hesitant but I gave my life back to Christ, and it’s been a journey. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so on fire for God and ready to spread this joy that I’m feeling.

I cannot wait to be baptized, especially now that I know what it signifies. I feel like a sponge, or a newborn baby discovering the world around her. I’m soaking in what my pastors are teaching and I literally get excited for class because I’m ready to learn everything that the members of the church are willing to teach me.

Man, even in the midst of a storm, life isn’t so bad when you’ve got God working in your life.

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Hi all! I’m not quite sure the point of this blog yet. I know I’m a strong willed girl with a lot to say, so I think that’s the premise of this. You may not all know me though, so I thought I might introduce myself. My name is Baylee and I’m 22 years old. I love to sing, dance (in private), write, and ride my longboard. I was born and raised in the Central Valley in California. I graduated high school in 2013. I am currently majoring in education. I love Jesus and coffee. I used to work at Disney World in Florida. I worked in Hollywood Studios in an area called Hollywood Hills, where I worked both the Tower of Terror gift shop and the Rock n’ Roller Coaster gift shop. I also got to light up the night while working the glow carts at Fantasmic! It was there that I met 95% of my best friends, who I still talk to daily. I moved home at the end of July in 2016, but have since traveled to New Jersey, Ohio, Connecticut, New York City, and Colorado to go visit these friends. I now work at a Starbucks in the tiny little town I grew up in. It’s a challenge most days but I’m pretty stubborn. So, there ya have it. Baylee in a nutshell. Stay tuned y’all. You never know what’s going to happen next.