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battyissues · 12 days
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battyissues · 28 days
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the Batkids grow up and realize that Bruce’s whole “I stay calm so you stay calm while badly injured” shtick was SO close to unraveling at any second and they had no freaking clue. Bruce was putting a field tourniquet on them and smoothing their hair back, talking about stay calm, yeah chum? meanwhile the Batkid in question is like yeah, why am I freaking out? maybe I am taking this too seriously. and Bruce is quietly having a tiny mental breakdown in the front of the Batmobile where they can’t see him trying to remember how to drive because Robin’s bleeding out, Robin’s bleeding out—
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battyissues · 28 days
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I’ll never get over Bruce and Clark switching outfits at the fair and Lois Lane and Selina Kyle swapping outfits like -
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It’s just so funny. Look at Clark Kent wearing his fake glasses over the Batman cowl??? Why did he do that???
Also:
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Batman #37 (2016)
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battyissues · 30 days
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SOME FALL DRINKS DOODLES, HAPPY PUMPKIN MONTH! 
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battyissues · 30 days
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Dont come to New Jersey. Just don’t.
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battyissues · 30 days
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Being friends — not just colleagues — with Bruce Wayne, as a reporter, must be a fucking nightmare. Everything Clark knows about him is off the record. Clark has unique insight into world events, WE business, and Gotham politics, and he can’t use ANY of it.
Lois asks him casually about [large unfolding global event/Gotham kidnapping/etc] and Clark’s jaw snaps shut so quickly, it jolts everything in the apartment. They have a code phrase, and eventually a code look, for I know this but I can’t tell you how and please don’t ask me about it ever again.
She makes the mistake, one day, of asking him about Jason Todd’s death. Clark’s eyes spark red before he closes them, jaw clenched tight enough to form diamonds. And Lois’ job is to try, very very hard, not to follow down the burgeoning mental connection between Jason Todd and I can’t tell you about this.
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battyissues · 30 days
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I like to think that Bruce has a meticulously maintained order of where and how to store all the gadgets in the Batcave. If it's not followed properly, his entire day is ruined and his disappointment is immeasurable - and Dick knows this.
So whenever they fight, Dick will absolutely sneak into the storage and place the slightly larger Batarangs with the smaller ones, switch the flash grenades with the smoke bombs, and maybe even park the Batmobile slightly sideways instead of having it face the exit directly.
It drives Bruce crazy, but he can't react outwardly lest his other children notice and this cursed psychological warfare begins spreading.
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battyissues · 30 days
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cocked hip + thinking subby thoughts in front of the mirror… ok…
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battyissues · 30 days
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they have a literal ancestral manor to hang out in but they choose to break into jason’s apartment while he’s out. they’re playing jackbox and accusing dick of being the faker. (it’s steph.)
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battyissues · 30 days
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Do yall think that despite being estranged(ough I took psychic dmg),Jason and Dick have that instinctive fear when Bruce calls out their full names
Like.
Bruce: RICHARD GRAYSON AND JASON PETER TODD.
Dick and Jason:(instant primal fear despite them being in their twenties) oh no.
Like jason probably forgets all his anger at Bruce for a hot second before going like
'Wait a min I'm not even living with him anymore why am I scared of him??'
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battyissues · 30 days
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ngl im not even a superman fan. i just REALLY like clark kent,,, (thank you, Smallville, for that.)
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battyissues · 1 month
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they are PROFESSIONALS!!! of course theyve never had batnaps at the batcomputer!
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battyissues · 1 month
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Batman fucking sucks. Imagine not being able to kill one normal guy dressed as a clown. Your arch nemesis is normal clown guy? You fucking kidding me? Doesn't superman shoot suns out of his cock, and this is the best you can do?
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battyissues · 1 month
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I’m sure there was a part of Alfred that was worried Bruce wouldn’t immediately take to fatherhood/guardianship when he brought home Dick. But then one morning, when Bruce is still painfully young and trying to work raising a kid into establishing a vigilante, Alfred enters the kitchen to see Bruce and Dick leaning over the table together doing the crossword.
Bruce chides Dick quietly, “You’re going to fall. Sit back down in the chair.”
And it’s said just the same way Thomas had said it, once upon a time — the tired exasperation of a father trying his best not to hover, but still worrying. Casually braced against the table, in such a way that he could reach out and catch Dick if he fell.
That’s when Alfred knew things would work out. A crossword, a shared pen, an exhausted Bruce fresh off of patrol still trying to make Sunday mornings fun for a kid who desperately needs them.
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battyissues · 1 month
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batfleck vibes in batman #22 (2017) 👀👌💯✨
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battyissues · 1 month
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Tim showing up to Wayne Manor aged 13 wearing a t shirt saying "I'm not the step Robin I'm the Robin that stepped up"
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battyissues · 1 month
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No anatomy just darkness
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