batistabarista-blog

[batistabarista-blog]

Shut up & take my money

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I’m no customer service super star, and l hate the use of “how are you” in place of “hello,” so when people ask it l don’t respond and half the time they say “GOOD-“ anyways before proceeding with their order.

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W-WHAT

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Today I formally put in my two weeks at Starbucks so let’s take a look back on the worst drinks I’ve ever had to make.

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that’s some coffee

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My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling and looked me in the eye and said, “no, it’s fucking close to water“ before pouring it down the drain really dramatically and walking away.

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today at work i asked a customer if he wanted french vanilla creamer with his coffee and he said no because he wanted the “heterosexual” creamer instead and it just blows my mind that straight people say shit about how queer people “force our sexuality on them” because i have never met a single queer person who has done something like assign a sexuality to coffee creamer

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sugar spoon

sugar spoon

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Telekinetic Coffee Shop Prank [video]

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full bodied coffee

watch me LIVE on twitch right now as I’m drawing the next comic!

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mango dragon fruit and coconut milk straight up tastes like mentos if you have ever wanted to consume them in liquid form.

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my espresso machine is down but plz help urself to a complimentary shower from my busted water vein at the pick-up counter!!

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Me: Just so you know, our espresso machine is down, so we can only do iced coffees, fraps, and teas!

Customer: THAT’s OKAY, I will just take an espresso.

Me: m-....ma’am....

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Me: Sorry, we can’t do a mocha right now. My steam wand is broke so no hot drinks.

Customer: okay. Peppermint mocha?

Me: ...cold?

Customer: No, hot.

Me, ‘why tf do u think peppermint syrup will fix my machine’:...caaaan’t do that one either

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It’s an unspoken rule that you wink at your barista the first time they remember your order on their own.