bat-therapy

[bat-therapy]

Tim: So Duke, you officially been at the manor a year, how are you liking it?

Duke: I’m finally settling in. I’m no longer worried Bruce is going to send me away.

Jason: I get that. I thought I was just some charity case. I was terrified that I would mess up and end up back on the streets. I stole a bunch of expensive looking things and kept them in a go bag. I was prepared.

Damien: I too feared being sent away. My grandfather would have been disappointed. I was prepared to fight to the death to prove my place in the family.

Dick: I was sleeping with a knife in my sock in case he sent me back juvie.

Cass: (signing) I feared disappointing him. I felt like I needed to earn my place here.

Steph: He couldn’t get rid of me if he tried. I am like glitter.

Tim: Same. I think he tried to kick me out like 6 times. I just laughed and walked past him.

Duke: Are we just going to ignore Dick’s knife comment?

[bat-therapy]

I 100% believe Lois Lane requested the presence of Bruce Wayne in her delivery room.

Nobody, not even the League, understood until it was time to give birth and Clark froze up at her bedside. Bruce was there to coach them both through it, as Clark’s friend and as Lois’ human reinforcements.

(Bruce flew to Metropolis in a helicopter when he got the news. He found Clark ashen and trembling at Lois’ side, eyes clenched shut as she screamed. He slid into place like he’d never been missing, talking Lois AND Clark through it like he delivered babies every day of the week)

[bat-therapy]

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“Bro really thought he ate with that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

[bat-therapy]

I need a fanfic where fanon!Dick is the perception his brothers have of him, and Dick simply accepts those ideas of him, without trying to prove otherwise.

Tim admires Dick, yes, but he thinks he'd set a computer on fire if he tried to turn it on.

Dick, being the one who helped with almost the entire Watchtower system, who hacks into different Intelligence Services whenever he feels like it, and steals files from the catcomputer whenever he needs something and doesn't want to ask for it, without anyone knowing (not even Tim).

Jason, admitting that Dick is very socially intelligent, but horrible at other types of intelligence, especially math and literature.

Dick, who was a top student who graduated from high school early in advanced classes and only doesn't pursue further college degrees because he is too bored to go to class, plus, he won every math competition he entered and was considered a genius by Bruce, Alfred, and his teachers. (And he read all the books in the mansion since he was little, but he is more fond of classic literature than modern literature).

Damian, thinking Dick is too soft, that he works on hugs and doesn't know how to set boundaries because of how kind he is.

Dick, who can be even more brutal than Bruce when required, who actually prefers his personal space most of the time (he does like physical contact, but not as much as everyone thinks), and that he has not only hurt people because of how strong his words are when he is angry, but he has gotten into fist fights with people to defend his own boundaries.

(He's still the one who knows Dick best tho, yes, he is too nice for his own good sometimes, but he's not stupid either).

And Duke is sure Dick can't cook to save his life because he always sees him eating cereal or just simple food.

Dick knows how to cook perfectly, he just likes simple food more and cereal is mostly because it is his comfort food and his need for sugar to keep going.

Not to mention everyone thinks he's a playboy, heartbreaker and all that.

No, (actually Tim had more partners than him, lol), and Dick is quite a demisexual, romantic person, who feels sick whenever something ends in a one night stand, because he feels that those things should be done with someone he loves. Plus, he really doesn't even like people complimenting him on his looks; even though everyone thinks he enjoys the attention, which is why his brothers send him thirst trap type videos made by his fans (both Nightwing and Dick Grayson's).

Girls actually believe some of these things too, but not to the extent that boys do.

It can also play on the fact that other people rather think that Dick has anger issues and is completely violent, or thinking that he was Bruce's nightmare when he was a child.

Extra points if it has a mention that he's the one who's actually addicted to coffee and insomniac, lmao.

[bat-therapy]

Don't think about little Jason Todd, who was curling in his sleep around Catherine, who was passed out, when he could. Don't think about a freshly orphaned Jason Todd, who kept curling in a little ball, trying to warm himself. Definitely don't imagine him doing the same in the Wayne Manor, except this time he curled around pillow or a small Nightwing plush his brother gifted him. And definitely don't imagine Talia searching for little Damian frantically, only to find Jason, curling around a toddler in his restless dreams. And maybe don't imagine Jason continuing to do the same in the solitude of his apartment, despite being all strong and huge.

Just don't.

[bat-therapy]

rate your pain on a scale of one to ten

[bat-therapy]

Jason: It’s your spleen! You lost an ORGAN Tim, you should have told us!

Tim: So? You don’t have your tonsils, that’s an organ!

Dick: That’s not the same and you kn-

Jason: Jokes on you, my tonsils grew back in the Lazarus Pit so your argument doesn’t even make sense!

Dick, now fully turned toward Jason: Your tonsils did WHAT

[bat-therapy]

Jaybin, smoking on the roof of Wayne manor

Dick: these things will kill you, you know

Jason, staring into the night: What, the fire or the smoke?

****

Jaybin, on patrol: Anyway so I'm doing this paper about the history of ghosts for extra credit. Did you know that there was a time people were so terrified of being buried alive there was this whole trend of putting bells in coffins that they could ring to warn people that they were still there?

Bruce: ...No, I did not.

*****

Jaybin: Do you think the dead feel like it's the living who haunt them ?

Dick: Why are you texting me this at five in the morning

Jason: Answer the question.

*****

Pre-robin Jason: "One time the teacher asked me where do you see yourself in five years and I panicked and accidentally said "dead" because I had no idea how to answer her.

[bat-therapy]

I know the fandom mostly agrees that Jason is that one always unemployed sibling in the family, but let me offer you a slightly enhanced concept - unemployed sibling Jason, who is the busiest sibling in the family.

No one can get hold of him. Like, ever. And it is not like he is lying, he is genuinely always has something else to do! Something random and unexpected, and, honestly, all his family can think is: what the hell?

Bruce, frowning: Remind me again, why the dinner in the circle of the family today doesn't suit your... schedule?

Jason, shrugging: I have a book club evening in the nursing home. We are discussing Margaret Atwood's Penelopiad tonight. Can't miss it. Also, Jennet-

Alfred, confused: Who is Jennet?

Jason: One of the old ladies in the nursing home, duh... Anyway, yeah, Jennet is having a birthday. She would be hella mad if her favourite grandson missed it, you know?

Bruce: ...Jason, you are not her-

Jason: (leaves)

Dick: Hey, wanna join me for tomorrow morning's training?

Jason, sighs: Sounds nice, but I have classes tomorrow.

Dick, confused: Classes? Since when you are enrolled in college?

Jason: Oh, no. I am a substitute teacher in one of the school's around.

Dick: WHAT-

Damian, calling Jason in the middle of the day: Can you pick me up from school? Others are busy, there is an emergency in the town.

Jason: Damn, sorry, kid, but I am not in the country right now. By the way, do you want to talk with your mother?

Damian: ...What that supposed to mean? Where are you?

Jason: I was planning to visit All-Caste, but first decided to meet up with Talia. I am kinda in Egypt right now, anyway.

Damian: ...

Tim, already used to Jason's constant busy status, sighing: I bet you won't agree if I call you on the lunch tomorrow?

Jason: Uh, no. I have plans. But if you tag along with me, we can get lunch together later.

Tim, surprised: ...Okay. What do you have tomorrow? Knitting club? A shift in library?

Jason: Nah, graduation ceremony.

Tim: Right, you are a substitute teacher.

Jason: No, no. My graduation ceremony. I am getting my PHD in literature.

Tim: SINCE FUCKING WHEN-

[bat-therapy]

I actually need some fanfic, where Bruce and Jason are in the middle of some argument, and a casual (and a well-practiced with Dick before) sentence leaves his mouth, something along the lines "How old do you think you are?!", meaning that he is acting childishly. And because Jason is irritated, and his tongue runs loose in his anger, he screams back that he is nineteen, and Bruce just freezes, because... Oh. Jason is nineteen. He is a fucking kid - his kid - that lost years of his teenhood, and was forced back without anyone giving him a space to catch up, with everyone else already treating him like an adult... When he isn't.

[bat-therapy]

Do you think when Damian first arrived at Gotham and to the Wayne Manor, he got an ick because Americans wear shoes indoors? Imagine him automatically starting to take off his shoes, searching for slippers, and realising that everyone just... walk around in their boots... without a care in the world?

Dick, jumping on the coach with his converses, straight from the street: So, watcha doing?

Damian, with his eye twitching: ...Why would you do that.

Damian, entering Tim's room to announce that the dinner is ready: Drake, Alfred had-

Tim, laying on his bed in his shoes peacefully:

Damian, through his gritted teeth: Unbecoming.

Tim: I JUST BREATHED

[bat-therapy]

I love the headcanon that Jason writes fanfiction and the funniest part of it to me is how his author notes would take the ao3 curse to a whole new level

A/N: here you go guys. Sorry it’s a couple days late, I spent the entirety of yesterday forcing soup and fever-reducers down my brothers throat while he actively told me he wasn’t sick

comments: omg is your brother okay?? Jason, responding: yeah he’s fine now. I took my eyes off him for a second, he downed a coffee and it fucking healed him?? Idefk. comments: wtf

Jason: yo sorry this was a little rushed, my sister’s ballet recital was crashed by the joker and I spent the night helping with the relief efforts comments: damn your siblings are living crazy lives Jason: you don’t know the half of it

Jason: this chapter was a week late, yeah. Sorry about that. I died again.

[bat-therapy]

somebody (Dick, still overwhelmed and trying to deal with the fact that his brother’s alive) lets slip during an interview as a civilian that the way Damian got delivered to Bruce’s door was because the Red Hood dropped him off and let them know he was Bruce’s kid, and Gotham goes apeshit.

why the fuck was Damian in a situation where the newest crime lord of Gotham was aware of him? how did the Red Hood find out who Damian was? and why the fuck did he decide to deliver him to Bruce Wayne stork-style?!??

Dick’s really apologetic about the whole thing but only because he’s sure this has pushed his and Jason’s tentative reconciling process about four months back. Damian’s pissed because now not only does he have to deal with questions about his relationship with Jason at the manor, but also questions about his ‘cool friendship with that awesome Red Hood guy who protects Crime Alley!’ at school, and as somebody who grew up watching Jason crash out pretty much every day over something objectively stupid (not all of it was even because of pit rage. Jason’s just dramatic and up until he died he was the youngest child, and also you have to get pretty good at throwing tantrums to actually succeed in getting Ra’s al ghul to fucking listen to you. Jason once convinced him to get door dash to the main base and then told Damian it was ‘an art form’ with a mouth full of chicken nuggets) and he abhors anyone who considers Jason ‘cool’ as a result.

Jason’s just getting real fucking tired of the street kids slinking up to him mid-patrol to ask with a completely straight face ‘do you know who my daddy is, Mr Red Hood?’

[bat-therapy]

We as a society need to stop acting like Dick had bad fashion sense. Mans was wearing a $400 leather jacket during the Judas Contract (circa 1984) in a era when leather jackets were in high popularity with men because of things like Top Gun and Michael Jackson's 1984 Pepsi commercial.

[bat-therapy]

cassandra cain u make my head and heart ache

[bat-therapy]

Ghost Jay and Bruce - Ghost Jay witnessing how fucked up Bruce got after his death. And accepting how people move on (or as they seem to).

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 of Ghost Jason series

[bat-therapy]

Tim: *opens fridge to get an energy drink*

Jason: Hey Timmers

Tim: H'y J'sin

Jason: What's the date and time right now?

Tim: Mmm...last I checked it was Jan 5, half past ten pm

Damian: TT *readies net*

Jason: Baby bird, today's January 9

Tim: *tenses, ready to run*

Dick: Get Him!!