basicallyspeaking

[basicallyspeaking]

The Incredible Magic of Feeling Small

I love traveling to distant places that take me away from my everyday routine, away from my Point A and Point B. I especially love traveling to places that remind me how big and wondrous this planet can be. It puts me in my place, it humbles me to know that the rest of the world relentlessly marches forward to its own cadence. I am not a master of anything here but simply a moving piece playing its part in this giant interwoven narrative of life.

I’m trying to remember my earliest memories of feeling this way. Looking up towards the sky in absolute amazement. Jaws agape. I want to say it was the Grand Canyon when I was a mere 6 or 7-year-old girl, but I don’t have much recollection of it. Or perhaps it was that one time we went on a road trip from sunny California to the roaring rapid forests of Wyoming better known as Yellowstone. Was it when I watched magnificent streams of purple lightning crash unto the horizon of flat plains across Idaho? Or was it when we laid on our backs against the warm desert sands with our tents tied open, looking up into the night sky littered with stars from distant galaxies, a painfully beautiful projection of things that once were but now most likely gone? 

When I travel I wonder how many people, how many strangers, have stood where I stood, felt what I felt, and thought what I had thought. What are the chances that in two different moments in time, we’ve shared the same exact perspective in sight and mind? What was it like to be the first? I wonder what it would be like to be the first to see and to experience the world as it is. Would you have known? Would you have realized that you have stumbled upon something that no intelligent being had seen or beheld before? That this very moment would belong to you and only you for a few seconds, months, centuries until another soul would stand in your place and claim it for themselves? Would you have stopped to revel in its raw beauty or would you have let the moment slip by unnoticed, too busy to look up on your way to more pressing affairs?

We are so incredibly small in comparison to the heights of trees, to the grandeur of mountain peaks, and the boundlessly expanding universe. We are but a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes... (James 4:14)

The incredible magic of feeling small is finding comfort in being enveloped in the great big world that will rotate another day again and again - that no matter what today may have been like, the world will keep on turning, and in the great scheme of it all -- it doesn’t really matter. It sounds a bit depressing when written out, but when you’re out there immersed and lost in observations, there’s this deeply profound feeling of lightness - of freedom. Sometimes it takes a minute of feeling so incredibly small to find the strength to live every day bigger than yesterday.

[basicallyspeaking]

A Person You Wanted to Ignore Today...

More than a person, it was more towards a group of people that haven’t been answering my emails but knew I still had to follow-up with. I did not have the energy to reach out and be ignored yet again, but... I did it anyway.

I actually thought about this the other day. I was telling a friend how exhausted I’ve been feeling lately, possibly having too much on my plate and taking on more efforts that I had the capacity for. She told me that sometimes I can say that I’m too busy and pass. Which is true to an extent... there should be clear boundaries of how much weight I can bear and I should learn to be more critical when deciding to make commitments. However, I know when I make a commitment to something, I will do my best to try and uphold what I can - at least feel responsible enough to clearly communicate what I need or can’t do if it is true. It seems only fair and the right thing to do. When I come across a group of people that seem to idly ignore their duties, or even having the manners to communicate what they can or cannot/won’t do -- it drives me a little insane. It’s hard for me to understand or accept.

As much as I hate conflict and wish everyone would just do their part - I know it’s my responsibility as the one who recognizes the need to keep pushing and motivating others, as well as not blowing up and responding with rude, cheeky sarcasm about being ignored.

It is so hard to love... sometimes...

[basicallyspeaking]

It’s Not a Good Idea to Experiment With...

Outdated milk.

But one does wonder, how long is it acceptable to use it as a coffee creamer till? Do we have to consider factors such as the weight of fat in the milk or the temperature of the refrigerator? Do we dance with danger as we take a gentle scent, swaying in uncertainty?

[basicallyspeaking]

I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.

Joan Didion

[basicallyspeaking]

Q: Who is your Nemesis?

An interesting question to kick us off this evening...

I have to say at this time I am my own nemesis. I know how overly cliché that is, but that’s the truth. I am my own hurdle. For a long time, I felt my inability to stick to one thing for too long to be my biggest character flaw, and I believe it is -- but I’ve also learned to accept that about myself. I will always aspire to do 20 things but only accomplish 10. I tell myself if I just stick to 10 new projects, then I can increase my completion rate closer to 100%, but I know that won’t happen. My inner, insatiable, desire to experience and to jump in heart first will not let me aim for what I know I can achieve. So in some strange, self-aware, way, I allow myself to be my own hurdle that I will continue to challenge day after day.

[basicallyspeaking]

Always Start with A Question

Here we are again. At the brink of something new, again. It’s more like an old flame flickering on a random night in the randomest month of the randomest year. Such is this first post - on a blog that had started many years ago with no post to fan into anything it quite possibly could have been. I find myself here once more, in front of the same laptop - with the same login credential - staring at the same white text space, awkwardly fumbling through this introduction paragraph.

Let’s start with a question, shall we?

My friend gifted me a book a few years back. Well. It is not a book, it is more a journal I should say. It’s a journal that asks you a question every single day. I never got around to answering any of the entries but it seemed only fitting for me to pull it from my bookshelf on this very night where my erratic inspiration strikes me.

Maybe a digital entry of the questions will find more success with me. I cannot make any promises as promises seem to scare me, but I can assure that I will write at least an entry tonight.

Tonight I’ll be pulling my first question from the “Q&A A Day” journal.