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one thing I'm sure of is that Rogue full on knew her demons. like, by name, by heart. she knew all those little gross manipulations her brain would pull off on her and she just accepted them and suffered through them, because they were just so... familiar.

imagine, after all Genosha debacle, when she was knocked out cold by "Poor Man Oppenheimer" (yeah I forgot his name I'm sorry you know who) - she had a dream.

except, she fully on knew it was a dream. she knew that it wasn't real, 'cause the sun was a bit too bright and the sky was a little too clear and birds sounded just a smidge too cheerful.

and because Remy was there, lying next to her in the tall summer grass, his arm under her head, his hand on her cheek.

and they smiled, they joked and laughed and enjoyed the moment. and then he asked -

"You know it just a dream, right?"

And Rogue sighed, brushing his hair out of his face, her bare fingers gliding over skin of his forehead before lowering down to his lips.

"Yeah..." she told him as she watched her thumb brush over his lower lip, the feeling of his hot skin being so alien and familiar. "Ah know."

And he takes her hand in his and kisses her fingers as he asks

"How do you know, chere?"

And she smiles sadly, the sting of it just being part of her at this point, and she just closes her eyes and brings his face closer, making their foreheads touch.

"Cause Ah can feel you."

And he chuckles, just barely, lightly, almost bitterly. And she feels his hand run across the skin of her cheek as he cups it, his lips so very close to hers. And he whispers.

"Oh, mon amour..." and the smile in his voice is so sad she can feel it. "We both know dat's not true."

And suddenly she feels sun burn brighter and hotter, so hot it's uncomfortable, and grass disappears and the low murmur of the river they were just by - it's all gone and there're only flames and the smell of burning and she can't open her eyes.

"Dis be a dream 'cause I'm dead."

And he's disappearing - the touch of his hand, the feeling of his arm, the warmth of his lips, the sound of his voice, all of it, all of it, all of it.

And she screams his name until she wakes herself up.

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do you have those moments?

me: oh and here's a couple of phrases from that new chapter!

me: proceeds to send a whole f*cking page

my friend: uh-huh. a couple of phrases you say.

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HOW COME I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS SHOT

IT'S SO GOOD

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while working on a chapter I suddenly remembered this beloved song of mine and my dudes I'm crying haha

just look at the lyrics!

'Cause she is so much more than all her scars And if she doesn't have the will But it seems the whole world does I'll stay because I will be the man my father never was

Remy and "I will be the man my father never was" is going deep, but the whole staying-when-she-doesnt-have-the-will-but-world does IS VERY MUCH HIM

And here!!

If you ever touch or harm him Please rest assured That you might not fear a man But to a woman by the end you'll kneel and plead 'Cause I'm more than what my mum told me to be

THAT LAST LINE. THAT. LAST. LINE.

I'm in tears

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Another fun-fact from XIII

Due to "reasons" that we'll get to down the line, Remy's boosted regeneration woke some things in his body. Mainly, his skin started turning gray again and his hair now has white stripes (yeah, he and Rogue match now)

so, basically, he looks like this and it's hilarious and adorable and kinda creepy

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[sits bolt upright in bed] i HAVE to make a character cry RIGHT NOW. im talking full-body, uncontrollable, heaving sobs. Right Now.

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just had a scam-artist (AjlinParker) show up in my comments on AO3 on XIII.

well vibes were off from the very first second and after a quick research I found out they were scammers haha

well I wouldn't be able to pay anyone anything anyway ("thanks paypal for blocking transactions from Russia" was not on my bingo card for today)

anyways, be careful, guys

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XIII - The Tower (ch 4)

The turning point of the story. Too much to say to say anything.

(and bonus)

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me: sharing a part of a chapter with my friend

chapter: calls Remy "all pink"

my friend: if you pink you either a drag queen or dead no third option

me: DIES INSTANTLY

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you know it's going to be a good chapter when while writing it you think "i gotta put some trigger warning in the beginning"

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little spoiler for those who wants it hehe

here are the titles of the next (couple) chapters of XIII (there's a link, you can check it out):

The Tower

The Strength

The Hierophant

The Magician

The Chariot

you can search the meaning of the cards and try to guess what'll happen but it's certainly interesting

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you know that moment when you write that one chapter where ALL THE SHIT GOES DOWN and it's very important and you WANT to write it and then you just sit with open doc and that line blinks and blinks and blinks on that stark white and you just stare at it

well i sure hope i'm not gonna get it haha.

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i just realized that like 50% of both Untouchable and XIII start with Remy waking up. like, we have 3rd ch of Untouchable, then 3rd (and 4th) chapter of XIII

Remy is just constantly being denied sleep by that little emo white-haired moron in his head who just laughs and goes "let me in" in a silly voice scaring my boy to death

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XIII - The Ten of Wands (ch 3)

Remy's control is gradually getting worse, his memory attacks him, and then his ex tries to manipulate him back into Guilds (using his brother, once again) and when he refuses - pushes on his "Rogue" buttons. Bella is a bitch and I love her.

Remy misses his woman. I swear you'll see her again, honey, I swear.

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well this chapter is going VERY hard

I blame something that in my circle we call "fall exacerbation" which causes decline in mental heath for like everyone (hi, anxiety-depression disorder here)

but goddamn, Belladonna is such a beautiful bitch I love her in such a way when you see someone and go "that bastard" with like respect and absolute disgust at the same time

De Queen of Petty Bitches, what a woman look at her

“Yo’ deat’, no matter how sad it be, was more useful dan you just standin’ here and lookin’ like furious chaton,” she explained, as if Remy was a child throwing a tantrum.

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I can't stop rewatching this send help

it’s ironic because they can’t kiss on the mouth

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XIII - The Four of Swords (Reversed) (ch2)

yeah, I think every chapter will have one now. i'm having fun with them.