baronmagikcarp

[baronmagikcarp]

the night watch and friends

[baronmagikcarp]

being too on tumblr is a crazy experience bc you will think to yourself "man. cannibalism is so cringe now all the most boring people alive are obsessed with it" and then realize that that is a sentence from insane world

[baronmagikcarp]

A true story from 1928 with a few artistic embellishments.

(And starring my disaster boys Jack and Al, of course)

[baronmagikcarp]

How to stay young forever

[baronmagikcarp]

im a bit of a pointless hater about certain usages of the term “monsterfucker” bc i think it’s often one of those things people say but don’t believe with their whole chest. like if all the “monsters” you like are vampires and similar mopey human-looking folks it’s possible you are actually just into goths. Let’s not dilute the beautiful world of teratophilia for our bloodborne sex soldiers out there fucking and sucking in yharnam or whatever. Anyone on earth would fuck a vampire. that’s vanilla

[baronmagikcarp]

Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”

And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”

“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”

Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.

[baronmagikcarp]

Still have artblock so here's dressup with gil

[baronmagikcarp]

I find it interesting that the mouth salivates both when we’re hungry and when we’re nauseous. It doesn’t matter if stuff is coming in or out, our throat is like okay boys time to lube up the tunnel

[baronmagikcarp]

Stand up and fight! Stand up and look into the light Pushing the clouds away

Stand up and fight! Stand up and see the sky turn bright Fight for a better day

Get up! You've made it this far! No loser you are! One more time! One more try!

Stand Up & Fight by Turisas

don't give up

[baronmagikcarp]

Everything is like “QUEER history” and “List of QUEER young adult books” or “Top 10 QUEER movies” and queer this and queer that and for the love of god please just say LGBT.

[baronmagikcarp]

[baronmagikcarp]

Watching my friends become evangelical Christians. Would be funny if I weren't terrified.

[baronmagikcarp]

kill the cop inside your brain by thinking about fentanyl

[baronmagikcarp]

In other news, OPEC pisses itself laughing until it passes out.

[baronmagikcarp]

how’s that house that raised you?

[baronmagikcarp]

i dont think i ever posted this here but i adore the idea of splicing together bumper stickers

[baronmagikcarp]