barnharpy

[barnharpy]

Imagining Cazador saving Astarion's various goops.... wretched... think this would piss Astarion off more than anything else. He'd see the labeled bottles and be like urgh oh my fucking god what a FREAK

[barnharpy]

for @yellowstonewolves based on the phenomenal Pain Is NOT Okay. please heed the tags of the fic if you check it out. [img desc in alt text]

[barnharpy]

god grant me the strength to write my weird porn, the serenity to write my weird porn and the wisdom to write my weird porn

[barnharpy]

heyy can we do a sexy roleplay where im a prince from a fallen kingdom and youre the powerful warrior who has taken me for their own pleasure. yes? yipeeee ok so before we start first here's a google doc with the whole history of the fictional land we're both from and the intricate geopolitical workings of the- oh yeah and here's a supplementary doc on the agriculture and trade routes of said fictional land and stuff and yes this is important. the dirty talk has to be lore accurate

[barnharpy]

[barnharpy]

BLACK CHRISTMAS — 1974, dir. Bob Clark

[barnharpy]

just shot a gnome

[barnharpy]

[barnharpy]

ssssssoooooomebody (@treevore) finally convinced me that Niro and Orin end up with offspring in the long-term future of his return to her. Everyone say hi to the twins: Aroen (left, he/him) and Neora (right, she/her).

More (a lot more, probably) coming soon on these two. For now:

Years after the events of BG3, an isolated cult forms around a man in whose form is manifest the divine might of slaughter incarnate, a cult dedicated first to this angel of blood-drenched hedonism, but secondly to his beloved consort and their intertwined twins, all of whom carry his sacred lineage richly in their veins.

[barnharpy]

utterly obsessed

[barnharpy]

[barnharpy]

do not raise a word against those crusty little white dogs in my presence. 1. they are some of the only breeds that were bred to live in a dumpy apartment not like a golden retriever who longs to swim and run and can’t even chill on your dumb couch cuz of the hair 2. You’ll be singing a different tune when the crusty little dog is a tiny little puppy and is the shade of a beautiful jasmine bloom… and you make fun of the old ladies for babying them when they’re crusty and old but someone will be taking care of YOU when you’re old and crusty and you will wish they love you as much as those old ladies love their crusty dogs….

[barnharpy]

its ok to be skinny

no it isnt everybody get fat

[barnharpy]

ok, because i just saw a terrible take, i feel compelled to say that there is no "fic market" to "oversaturate" in fandom. good gravy.

[barnharpy]

Wait i forgot for a full ten seconds my durge is a tiefling. Okay so... split team, durge squad whiffs it so hard they all die. Wyll squad bringing up the rear escorting the refugees. Squad now comprises of wyll, zevlor, and ... who. This is very funny. Did TWO vampires get kidnapped cjcjfnf I suppose it gets rounded out by karlach. That would work, but I do think it's very funny if two vampires get kidnapped. Aurelia has goody two shoes vibes imagine if she had to learn to loosen up and not wish for death constantly, and astarion had to learn to not say every thought and not wish for death constantly

Just a trio of guys wishing for the release of death to soothe their aching minds and then karlach

The problem is.... I'm not. That interested in vanilla durge, by which i meam durge during the story of the game. The only time I am interested in my durge is in the two convoluted ass versions I came up with where she is not part of the party. Bit then I'm sort of so disinterested in her that I want to borrow an idea for a wyllstarion. But also the idea would necessarily be wildly different because I'm not a hack who does 1:1 translations. But then also I quite liked that initial idea itself, so what if I think about it a little harder. BUT also I have done so and have started germinating of a better story that takes the key element from that original idea... but now I'm thinking okay well... it's gotta be Aurelia instead of dalyria right like, but so then how does... that change everything again... and I'm like so now I have to think extra hard like in what world are THOSE two friends

[barnharpy]

Okay but let's imagine briefly that the team includes Aurelia (scared of fire) and Karlach (fire). Can I make this work....... can I make this work. We'll have to think about it

The problem is.... I'm not. That interested in vanilla durge, by which i meam durge during the story of the game. The only time I am interested in my durge is in the two convoluted ass versions I came up with where she is not part of the party. Bit then I'm sort of so disinterested in her that I want to borrow an idea for a wyllstarion. But also the idea would necessarily be wildly different because I'm not a hack who does 1:1 translations. But then also I quite liked that initial idea itself, so what if I think about it a little harder. BUT also I have done so and have started germinating of a better story that takes the key element from that original idea... but now I'm thinking okay well... it's gotta be Aurelia instead of dalyria right like, but so then how does... that change everything again... and I'm like so now I have to think extra hard like in what world are THOSE two friends