bargainwitchywitchywoman

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

guys what if azul’s bed hair is just his hair sticking up like ursula’s

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

Watched Conan the barbarian for the first time recently and while on many levels it's hilariously bad in an extremely 80s movie fashion I also can't stop thinking about it due to the Slay elements present.

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

Miguel Adrover FW 2012

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

a bad terrible foolish logics.

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

OH MY GOSH-

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

Mina: "Alright, everyone pinkie swear right now to put Vampire Me down if I hop the line between death and undeath."

Van Helsing and the Suitor Squad: "Depressing, but sure, absolutely."

Jonathan:

Mina: "...Jonathan?"

Jonathan: "Yes?"

Mina: "Will you promise to slay me if I get vampire'd?"

Jonathan: "Mina, I will not lie to you."

Jonathan:

Mina: "Jonathan. I need you to look me in the eye and promise to murder me martyr-style if I get too undead."

Jonathan: "Fine. I can promise to kill."

Mina: "Me? Vampire me?"

Jonathan, making unbroken eye contact with the four guys who just promised to behead and impale his wife if she stops being human enough: "I guarantee there will be killing involved if Vampire You happens."

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

'You call the shots, babe I just wanna be yours'

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

Loki, god of the bound and silenced, god of the hidden and the lost, god of resistance at all costs, hear our prayers tonight. Mother of monsters, look after your children as the winter descends, and grant us the strength to endure.

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

Soo, remember in Glorious Masquerade, when Malleus came up with the story that the cause of the Crimson Lotus was unknown, and Rollo was actually trying to save everyone alongside the NRC students?

What if that's another bit of foreshadowing for the end of Book 7?

Briar Valley is in a really precarious position now, still recovering from the Silver Owls, with the Senate mostly taking over while Maleficia grieves, so Malleus overblotting is just another blow to the fae, even if students like Leona, Kalim, Vil and Idia manage to advocate on his behalf.

So why not spin the tale of how there was an unnamed threat on the island that was so Dire (pun intended for Crowley) and all-encompassing that Malleus had to go all out?

To avoid collateral damage and prevent the issue from reaching the rest of the globe, he had no choice but to use his UM to cover the whole island, keeping everyone safe in a peaceful slumber while the threat was dealt with. Luckily, STYX coordinated efforts with the rest of Briar Valley and they managed to subdue the threat both inside and outside the barrier, and everyone is safe now!

That way, the world can see Malleus not as an uncontrollable monster, but as a fierce protector who might go a bit overboard, but means well (also he's a dragon and his remaining family was on the island, so his protectiveness is understandable). Therefore, it's best to befriend the fae and Briar Valley than make enemies out of them!

The only problem is the rest of the student body and staff that saw the overblot at Lillia's farewell party, but I'm pretty sure STYX's Lethe program is back on to deal with the mobs, while the rest of the cast can be sworn to secrecy in exchange for having Malleus owe them a favour (they can use Azul's UM for the NDA).

As for the problem, NRC has been dealing with overblots at least once a month, not to mention the STYX invasion, and the Phantom Dwarves back in the mines, and how Book 7 might introduce the true mastermind and that's what we have to deal with in Book 8... They just have to pick ONE of the options above.

As a sidenote, having Sunset Savanna become Briar Valley's fiercest allies because Leona told his brother that Malleus is his friend would be so funny. Falena sees his depressed brother going to the trouble of making a whole Power Point presentation to convince the council on the benefits of allying to Briar Valley, all to save a school friend, and just decides that Malleus Draconia will have his unending support. Kifaji too.

(Leona has been ignored and belittled so many times that he prepared for the worst and made a whole slide presentation in hopes of defending his point well enough. Shoud've just led with "Malleus Draconia is a friend of mine who just went through a very traumatic experience and I want to help him" Kifaji and Falena would accept in a heartbeat).

BONUS:

Leona: *Practicing his Power Point presentation at 2AM*

Cheka: Unca, what are you doing in the middle of the night?

Leona: I'm just practicing, no one (my dormmates aside) ever likes my ideas and I have to make sure this works...

Cheka: Why?

Leona: Well you see... [starts explaining the inportance of supporting Briar Valley at theur moment of need and the benefits an alliance may bring to the table] ... also the Lizard would love if-

Cheka: Why do you keep calling Malleus Draconia "Lizard"? Is he your friend? Do you want to help him?

Leona, sighing: Yeah kiddo, he is my friend. He's been going though some tough times, almost lost his father and brother, and as much as we butt heads, well, no one deserves that...

Cheka: So why don't you just say that he's your friend and you wanna help him instead of talking about those "tweatwies"?

Leona: First of all, it's "treaties", and second, well, Briar Valley is in trouble, and helping them might get us in trouble too. Also I'm just the accursed second prince, people never listen to me, I need to back up my proposal with facts.

*random noise that sounds like a mix between a growl and a sob (Falena and Kifaji are eavesdropping lol)*

Leona: What's that?!

Cheka, panicking: Probably the wind....

*THE NEXT DAY*

Leona, finishing the presentation: And that's my proposal, any questions?

Random councilman: Well I-

Kijaji, smiling menacingly: I think it's a splendid idea, Leona. Briar Valley has been a longtime friend of ours, so it's only right that we help them in their time of need.

Falena, also smiling menacingly: Agreed! I'm so proud of you, my brother!

Leona: Wait, seriously!?

Falena's wife, smiling and sharpening a knife while subtly observing the other councilmen, marking targets: Of course, Leona! You have a sharp mind and this is a good plan. Briar Valley will have Sunset Savanna's full support for the coming criais, isn't that right, councillors?

Other councillors: Yes Ma'am!! Don't kill us pls

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

Guys, I think Floyd likes Jamil

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

"CHAT, ANIMAL CROSSING WAS RIGHT, CATCHING BUGS IS AWESOME" - Idia

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

I am a huge high cloud quintet enjoyer so it may surprise you to learn that I absolutely hate the quest “Clouds Leave No Trace”.

let me explain. I will admit that a lot of it stems from my issues with Jingliu as a character. I appreciate that she’s meant to be cold and detached, but what bothers me is that although she says considers herself to be a sinner alongside Yingxing and Dan Feng, she constantly acts like she’s better than them, criticising them, acting as if their choice was an easy one while hers wasn’t. Her humility feels incredibly insincere, and she becomes very difficult to empathise with as a result.

then there’s the quest itself. I split it into three parts.

one: redundant infodumping

For the first part of the quest, Jingliu, Dan Heng and Yanqing travel to different parts of the Luofu so Jingliu can bid farewell to her past home. It’s basically a plot device for her to drop some lore about Yingxing and Baiheng, which is fine on its own, but the problem is, none of the information she gives is new. All of it was stuff we could already figure out from character stories and other in-game text.

the second issue with this part of the quest is Dan Heng’s presence, or rather, lack of it. Considering he’s the main character tying the quintet subplot into the main story, you’d think he’d be important to the quest focussed on them. But he’s just… there. He says and does pretty much nothing. You could cut him from the whole quest and it wouldn’t be any different.

In fact, Dan Heng also suffers greatly from the timing of the quest. If we look at the voice lines for IL, it’s obvious that he’s a snapshot of Dan Heng shortly after this quest, since he knows Blade is the one who made Cloudpiercer. Ichor Of Two Dragons also seems to take place at the end of this quest. This is an issue because both release in version 1.3, making the quest which takes place in version 1.4 feel like a regression in his character development when actually the story was for some reason out of order.

part 2: Dan Feng gets mischaracterised to hell and back

This is the worst part of the quest by far. Jingliu does her self-righteous monologue and nails the coffin shut by giving the most biased description possible of the Sedition.

she first says that Dan Feng was trying to revive Baiheng. Dan Heng’s and Jingliu’s character stories reveal that this is probably not the case, and that his actual goal was to create another high elder,

she also says that the reason Dan Feng did what he did was selfishness and an inability to accept Baiheng’s death. She fails to mention the fact that the Xianzhou treated him like a convenient weapon instead of an actual person, that he hated how many innocent people died in the war between Aeons, that his people were going extinct because of said war, that he hated how he gave the Xianzhou the power to cause so much death, that he had probably attempted less dramatic rebellions in his past lives to no avail, that the high elder succession was incredibly screwed up and he didn’t want to have to pass that burden on to his next incarnation (granted that lasts part’s only implicit). Not to mention that she didn’t actually bear witness to any of the events she described, only the aftermath.

part 3: Blade monologue

This is the only redeeming quality of the entire quest

he acknowledges that Dan Feng and Yingxing weren’t simply upset with Baiheng’s death, but with the unfairness of everything in general

he expresses genuine regret

and the way he looks up to Jingliu after she tortured him is the only time where that story genuinely presents her as someone who’s done terrible things, showing how she managed to break Blade so badly that he feels thankful for it

in conclusion, do not play this quest if you want to actually understand Dan Feng as a character

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

At the bottom of the shackling prison, there are five cells made to contain the Xianzhou's worst enemies, sinners that can never be forgiven. The first four are labelled, and match clearly with entries in the Ten Lords Commission Criminal Directory-

Zaofu, Rider of the Houyhnhnm

Void Existence, a mass murderer who gained immortality by drinking the blood of the Xianzhou natives they killed

Hoolay, Warhead of the Borisin, although his cell is empty by the time the Trailblazer finds it

Blind Chieftain, a merchant who sought immortality

The fifth cell is by far the most interesting, though, to the point where I'm surprised it's never touched on in the story. The interaction dialogue is as follows:

"is it an empty room, or does it house an unpardonable prisoner? There's no way for you to find out as the stone door isolated is from everything, leaving only a cold silence behind."

"But even a door of stone cannot conceal the sound of water on the other side... it is as if a god that reigned over water is sealed here."

Although the second line makes it sound like whoever was in there is still inside, the first line implies that the cell is now empty. Besides, tenses are often messed up in translation from Chinese to English, and it's unlikely that significant attention would be given to a random piece of interaction dialogue. The fact that this prisoner is left unnamed is also very suspicious, since all the others are given a name corresponding to an entry in the Ten Lords Criminal Directory.

I'll quit beating around the bush, because I'm sure you've already figured out what I made this whole post to say- this is almost certainly where Dan Feng/Dan Heng was held in the Shackling Prison.

The exact setup of his imprisonment isn't made clear, and it's redacted from official records, but the simple fact that he was kept all the way at the bottom alongside the likes of Hoolay is pretty telling about just what the Xianzhou thinks of him.

On a less depressing note, whose idea was it to have five of the most dangerous prisoners right next to each other? That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

oh u just know theyr nastyyyyyyy

[bargainwitchywitchywoman]

one thing i will not forgive or forget is how 2.5 somehow made the revelation of 'your master was exiled for experimenting on this individual in an illegal way that completely fucked up his life' more about consoling the master's disciple than consoling the individual in question. who was standing right there and learning of this for the first time too