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You severely underestimate my apathy.

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Don't ask for the moon,

We have the stars.. 🌠

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Sometimes you need to sleep, sleep a lot. Not to escape, but to rest your soul from your feelings. Because everything, absolutely everything devours you. Completely.

—Brain

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“Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.”

— Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine

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Holding nothing... but my heart ❤️

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Story time! My Shinkanssen misadventure.

At 4pm in Aichi, I had to end my Ghibli Park tour despite missing two attractions due to the relentless heavy rain which left me completely drenched and the need to catch my bullet train to Tokyo that night. The news of massive delays in the morning made me feel uneasy.

I took the Linimo line train from Aichikyuhaku Kinenkoen to Fujigaoka station, where I bought two delicious cream puffs (for the last time). I then stopped at Sakae to collect my luggage from the coin locker before continuing to Nagoya Station. Upon arrival in Nagoya Station at 1800, it was pandemonium. Thousands of people rushing to catch their trains, and I just stood for 3 minutes because it was overwhelming. After I purchased my Shinkanssen ticket, I walked for a bit to buy my Ekiben (bento box).

Already in line to the ticket validator, I realized I can't find my bullet train ticket and only had the receipt. I froze, as I couldn't remember if the ticket had been dispensed from the machine or not. I asked assistance from the Japanese staff, presenting him the receipt. He directed me to the ticket desk, where a long queue of passengers were resolving travel issues too.

Time check was 1830, and I'm still in line. I was feeling cold because I've decided to keep my wet clothes on as I was in a hurry. It was 1945 when it was finally my turn, only to be told that Nagoya station doesn't refund lost/undispensed tickets. So I had to pay 150 aud again. Well anyway, let's move on.

I successfully inserted my ticket, I saw that Tokyo-bound trains were either delayed or cancelled as it flashed in the screens. I sat on the platform and finally ate my ikeben.

After eating, I opened my bag and reached for the wet tissue. Guess what, there it was..the freaking bullet train ticket that I first bought! It was in one of my bag's inside pocket all along! I could have sworn it wasn't there when I searched, soo howwww! (Remember that three liner scene from Gone Girl, when Ben Affleck finally met his "missing" wife Rosamund Pike and whispered to her ear that 3 words? Yes, I whispered the same to the ticket 🤦🏻‍♀️) And so I just scratched my head and took a commemorative photo of the two Shinkanssen tickets with identical travel details for the day.

The time was almost 2200 when the bullet train to Tokyo has finally appeared. I found three empty seats and sat near the window. I accidentally fell asleep in an instant even before the train started moving (yep, ofcourse it's me 😆) and I forgot to stash my small luggage at the overhead storage and just kept it beside me (should never do this). I woke up after 45 minutes, and noticed that the foldable table beside me was opened. That's when I realized that a kind soul purposely opened it to keep my luggage from rolling away (my sincere thanks, whoever you are 🥹). I dozed off again. This time, I was completely exhausted. Mental note: stow the luggage away next time.

The whole travel time to Tokyo was agonizing, requiring numerous stops en route for almost an hour still due to unfavorable weather condition. The whole trip was almost four hours and I finally arrived in Tokyo at around 0200 in the morning. Then I woke up in the afternoon with severe flu. Sadly, I had to cancel some of my itenerary for the last five days in Japan. Still breaks my heart that I missed the Gundam statue and the Shibuya Skytree Jujutsu Kaisen special lighting event..😪

Lesson learned: I should've bought a dozen of those cream puffs from Fujigaoka station, haha!

--this is me leaving my katangahan in 2024 behind.

*bow, 🙇🏻‍♀️

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Magpapasko ng walang feelings kanino man 😚👏 Let's go! Hahah

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It's my 15 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Wow soo that was 2009 when I started? 😍

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Kurokawa Inuko – 夏 (2020)

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🦋

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The calmer you are the clearer you think. Move with strategy, not with emotions.

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Wowowowww

she - the daughter

No one talks about the angry daughter. She's the daughter that no one has ever worried about , because she was always hyper - independent.

She's the one who used to be so patient , empathetic , loving , caring and understanding . Until it got to the point where she was drained , emptied out , and crying from everyone leaning on her.

She got worn out from all the responsibilities , from people - pleasing , to constantly adjusting to everyone else's needs and being everything to everyone all at once.

Now , she's always tired , frustrated , angry , irritated , and depressed but she still shows up , still provides , still stands tall , but she's at her breaking point. She doesn't know how much more she can take living this way.

She just wishes someone would show up for her the way she does for everyone else .