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Fake (A Love Letter To Professional Wrestling)

I have been wanting to write something like this for ages. Professional wrestling has been such a big part of my life and I just wanted to write something to capture it.

“There are times where I watch wrestling and I don’t understand how everyone doesn’t love it. And then there’s other times where I watch wrestling and I don’t know how anyone likes it.”

-Chuck Taylor 

I was introduced to the crazy world of professional wrestling at a young age. Most of my earliest memories are dominated by it. I’m four years old watching money with JBL’s face on it rain down from the ceiling with my dad. Rey Mysterio soared across my television screen like a real-life superhero. I have pictures of me dressed in a one-piece bathing suit with one of the straps pulled down because I wanted to be just like The Big Show. 

And then I’m four and a half years old learning about death for the first time. In November 2005, my absolute favorite wrestler, Eddie Guerrero, had died in his Minneapolis hotel room. I remember sitting cross-legged on the floor looking up at my TV as the tribute episodes aired. 

Professional wrestling can be anything to anyone- as it had been to me growing up. There is so much to love and admire about it. 

Those men and women put their lives and bodies on the line whenever they step through those ropes. They spend countless hours on planes, missing holidays, birthdays, and other family events. 

All of that for us. 

And that’s not even mentioning the different styles of wrestling that they bring to the table. 

Do you want to see aerial acrobatics and moves that you’ve never thought possible? Then you can look at lucha libre and the likes of Rey Mysterio, Bandito, El Hijo del Vikingo, and Juventud Guerra. 

Wrestlers like Bryan Danielson and Bret Hart bring more technicality to their matches. They will put their opponents in holds that you are sure will break their bones. 

There’s also such a variety of gimmicks and body types in this sport. 

And despite what many may say- 

They all deserve to be celebrated. 

You can watch men like Orange Cassidy and Eddie Guerrero battle beasts like Big Bill and Brock Lesnar. Both of those examples are quite literally David vs. Goliath scenarios. And let’s just say that I am always a sucker for those matches. It is always satisfying to see the underdog come out on top. 

So far, I have discussed the wrestlers that put on the matches we see- not the stories they bring to life. 

One of my favorite (and perhaps my all-time favorite) storylines is the saga that occurred between Kenny Omega, The Young Bucks, and ‘Hangman’ Adam Page. 

When I discovered that storyline, I was on the verge of quitting watching wrestling altogether. I just wasn’t interested in it anymore and it was no longer fun to tune in. 

That story single handedly pulled me back in. 

I had never seen something like that before. In a sport where the men and women have to act tough all the time- I had never seen a story where they were allowed to be vulnerable. 

Hangman had literally hit rock bottom.

He lost his friends, tag title, and was hiding away from anyone that dared to get close to him. And what made it more compelling was the fact that he wasn’t blameless, either. 

Hangman held Nick’s leg and cost them a shot at the tag titles. Which resulted in him getting kicked out of The Elite. 

But Kenny and The Bucks returned their betrayal and hurt in kind. 

And the culmination of it all with Hangman defeating Kenny for the men’s world championship was the absolute cherry on top. There was all the potential in the world. 

(Which got squashed by the way- but that’s a story for another day.) 

For my entire life, I heard that professional wrestling was fake. It was something that I always hated. 

However, professional wrestling is anything but. 

The injuries are never fake.

And the escapism that it provides isn’t fake, either. 

It’s always there when you have had a bad day. 

It’s there when you have nothing and no one else. 

On that note, I would like to leave you all with a quote from the late, great Windham Rotunda. Who, I believe, encapsulates everything about professional wrestling so well: 

“Wrestling is not a love story- it’s much more. It’s hope. And in a world surrounded in hate, greed, and violence- a world where closure may never come… We all know a place that has hot and cold hope on tap.” 

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Retro Match Review: Eddie Guerrero vs Brock Lesnar No Way Out 2004

This is an opinion based series where I watch matches and give my thoughts about them! I started out with one of my favorite matches ever with one of my favorite wrestlers ever. I hope you enjoy!

In February of 2004, one of WWE’s hottest stories was coming to an end. Eddie Guerrero’s popularity had skyrocketed and the “Next Big Thing” Brock Lesnar was looking for a way out. Eddie had collected various championships throughout his career, but one had evaded him- the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. However, the stars were finally aligning for Eddie to get a chance to get a shot at the big one.

The story leading up to the match was very David versus Goliath-like. Brock was the taller, younger, formidable heel. Eddie was the underdog. There was surely no way that Eddie could beat him! However, where Brock was harder hitting- Eddie was faster and more calculating. Where Brock was the rookie and lacked ring experience- Eddie was considered a veteran who knew the ring like the back of his hand.

One of the highlights of the feud leading up to the championship match was Eddie’s “I’m an addict” promo. Brock had been consistently mocking Eddie’s storied past with addiction, along with his Mexican ancestry. That promo, to this day, remains one of the greatest promos in Eddie’s career- if not one of the greatest in the entire company. Eddie wasn’t shy when he talked about his past. He even went as far as to detail a moment in his life when he was high in one of the locker room showers.

And one of the last things that Eddie says to Brock is: “Yeah, I am an addict. I’m addicted to the high I get from them!" He pointed to the crowd as passion spilled through every word that he uttered. That promo proved how much that championship meant to him. It proved how much the crowd and the fans meant to him. And I’m sure if you were in the vicinity of the building while he was speaking- your ears were sure to be ringing. In that moment after the promo, nobody had more of the crowd on their side than Eddie Guerrero.

Finally, we are at the long-awaited match between David and Goliath. The rookie and the veteran. Eddie Guerrero versus Brock Lesnar. The story going into the match was carefully crafted to make the crowd and fans at home believe that anything could happen. There was truly no way at that point to make a prediction. But you could feel that the crowd was so fully behind Eddie that even the viewers at home could surely feel the energy through their screens. They believed in Eddie. But was their belief in him going to be enough?

Whenever Eddie would gain an ounce of momentum, Brock was there to squash it. With every pin attempt there would be a kick-out. The final sequence of events was something out of pure cinema. The title was brought into the ring by Brock- who felt like he needed to resort to Eddie’s lying, cheating, and stealing ways to put his opponent down. When it looks like Brock is going to use the title on Eddie, Goldberg storms the ring and lays Brock out with a spear. The title is now in the middle of the ring as Eddie begins to stir.

He grabs the title as Brock slowly gets to his feet. He’s taunting Lesnar at every chance, just itching to get the pinfall. But surprise! When Eddie is about to hit Brock with the championship, Brock counters Eddie into an F-5. There is desperate cheering from the crowd. This can’t be how it ends! However, Guerrero is not out yet. He counters the F-5 into a DDT onto the championship.

Brock goes down. An exhausted Eddie throws the title out of the ring before executing one of the most iconic moments in WWE history. Taz’s cries of “Eddie cheated!” as Michael Cole cheers Eddie on along with the crowd as he hits a frog splash. Eddie calls for the referee, desprate to get in the three count before Brock gets up again. And in what seems like several agonizing minutes, the ref counts one…two…three!

The fans in attendance go absolutely insane. After years of fighting against his own personal demons and working his way back up the ladder, Eddie Guerrero has finally won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship! It is truly an unforgettable moment. This is the ultimate feel-good match. It is the match that you watch when you want to feel something. There is a reason that this match is on lists of greatest matches. It is one of the best from one of the greatest men to ever do it.