bansheebender

[bansheebender]

Gothamites start liking Batman more once he has a kid:

Commiserating deli workers give Robin a snack so the kid takes a breath from the nonstop, one-sided conversation he's been carrying on

When Robin hands Batman one of his fallen baby teeth, Montoya produces an evidence bag for them to take home in

A potential witness at an attacked fair paints Robin's face, and when Batman returns he gets matching pouty expressions until he gets a little painting on his cowl

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Dick: When I was your age-

Jason, mocking Dick: When I was your height.

Dick:

Dick: Listen here you little shit-

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as someone who once had a single parent who was dating i kind of imagine dick having some interactions with clark after he starts dating bruce that go something like this

bruce: so dick, as you know clark and i are dating

dick: *silent glare*

bruce: we wanted to talk to you today becaues we wanted to see if you would be okay with clark staying here sometimes *bruce & clark are sweating bullets*

dick: no.

bruce: no? *clark looks like he's going to cry*

dick: no. last time he was here he ate the stash of animal crackers i had in the cave.

----

*bruce & clark coming back from a date but the batcave entrance won't open. tries to go into the manor entrance but the door is locked and the key won't work. no overrides work. alfred isn't answering. finally dick answers the phone.*

dick: what.

bruce: can you let us in chum? it's getting kind of cold out here.

dick: only if he leaves.

bruce: come on dick, it's late and clark is supposed to spend the weekend here with us.

dick: no. he's not allowed.

*clark flies them up and gets in through the window of bruce's bedroom*

dick: i told you he wasn't allowed.

*cue shrieking from bruce & clark who were not expecting dick to be sitting on the bed*

(based on an interaction i had with my dad's gf when i was like nine, i would try to lock her out of the house...)

----

dick: hey, i'm home! look what i did at school tod---

*bruce & clark kissing in the kitchen, pull apart so fast clark hits his head on a cabinet*

dick: you desrved that, you're so gross and i hate you.

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i love john brosio paintings bc theyll be an absolute gut punch that forces you to consider your own morality like two earthlings and they will also be Big Crab

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having a tumblr blog is cool because you can scroll back for years to realize you’ve never been normal about any of your interests so why start now

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Headcanon that Tim is so completely indifferent to drastic heights or steep falls because if he slips and falls, he can just yell, "Conner!" And before he knows it, he's wrapped in strong arms and gently being placed at the top of the building he was just scaling. He fears no height because falling to his death has just not been a realistic possibility ever since Kon shoved into his life.

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Scars? Not body horror. Limb differences? Not body horror. Facial differences? Not body horror. Feeding tubes, colostomy bags, etc? Not body horror. Movement disorders? Not body horror. Visibly disabled people just existing is not horror.

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Every time someone writes a Batfamily fic that completely excludes Duke Thomas a fairy dies by the way.

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The Big Three. The Trinity. The Founders. I’m sorry but DC popped off with the nicknames for Bruce, Clark, and Diana. The amount of awe and dread tied to those names in-universe must be astounding. Imagine you fucked up on the Watchtower and you have to go see the Trinity. I would shit my pants the whole way there.

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" I'm small and bitter. I'm like a human espresso."

- Tim Drake

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Damian: This is my boyfriend Jon, I love him with my entire being and I would kill anyone who hurt him.

Jon: This is my gremlin, Damian, he’s a little monster who had to be muzzled so he wouldn’t bite anyone. Anyways, needless to say I would die for him.

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The Joker: guess who it is, batsy!

Dick Grayson, recently orphaned child repressing immense sadness and rage with every inch of his body, whose whole life was the circus: yeah dad who is this bitch ass poser and how do we motherfucking end him

[bansheebender]

If any one of my posts is to break containment, make it this one.

Before January 2025, download your favorite fics, especially those with smut or queer content.

If Project 2025 goes into effect (which it very likely will now that we have three red branches of government in the US), they may attempt to restrict the use/sharing of media on sites like ao3.

This particularly applies to fics with smut or any type of queer content, because the official Project 2025 document states, "Pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children, for instance... has no claim to First Amendment protection... Pornography should be outlawed."

Now, I don't expect ao3 to disappear or go anywhere without a fight, but it's best to be on the safe side these days.

To download your favorite fics:

Go to archiveofourown.org and open the fic you want to download.

At the top right corner, to the right of the 'subscribe' button, is a button that says 'download'. Click it.

A drop-down menu will give you the option to choose the format of your download. Choose your preferred format (.epub and .pdf are my personal favorites -- .epub lets you open a fic in the apple books app and .pdf is compatible with like every device and program out there).

When you click the button for your preferred format, a pop-up window appears confirming your choices. The title of the document will default to the title of the fic, so be aware of that and consider changing conspicuous titles to something ignorable, especially if you share the computer.

You're done! Now do this with all your favorite fics!

Stay safe out there, your favorite characters are rooting for you <3

[bansheebender]

Picture this: Robin, child crime fighter, after a big ass battle. Can’t move because his cape is stuck under a chunk of skyscraper.

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17 year old, CEO Tim Drake canceling a press conference and then putting out a statement like, “Sorry for canceling last min, Alfred said that he was going to run my laptop through the dishwasher if I didn’t clean my room. I think he’d do it :/. Also, wasn’t really in the mood. Cya -Tim.”

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Robin: *fighting a goon*

Goon: Stop! Stop, I quit. I give up.

Robin: Really?

Goon: Yes. Just tie me up for the police.

Robin:

Robin: Give me six dollars.

Goon: What?

Robin, in a fighting stance: Give me six dollars for the book fair or I’ll beat you up. Again.

Goon: *can’t believe they were just getting their ass kicked by a toddler in go-go boots*

Goon: I only got a ten

Robin: Deal.

Batman: *makes him give the money back*