banepenis

[banepenis]

I am a hateful, spiteful man, yes. But I'm really a lovely woman when you get to know me.

[banepenis]

i (a deeply-psychological no-exceptions sexual sadist) went for a walk in my locale (medium-sized german town) and saw someone fall over (typically okay on its own but i heard him say 'ow, fuck, my knee, i think it's bleeding) and popped a huge boner (2 inches soft, 6.6 recurring inches erect, uncircumcised, lacking in visible veinature) due to my perfect sense-sensation empath powers (also how i ascertained the nature of the aforementioned incident) so i started to run to a crowded street (komplette narrenstraße in german) and used my empath powers (see above) to seek out nervous and introverted pedestrians (feelings of ambient shame would reduce my rager, and so on) but realized that nobody around me was giving off any energy (medium-sized german town populated with germans, i.e. europeans are incapable of human emotion) and fortunately due to the extra blood flow (bonar) i had the mental fortitude (212 IQ, tested in a city in oregon that really doesn't like to talk about its first couple hundred years of history) to realize if i threw up a hitler salute (act i am well-versed in aside) it might inspire upset in those around me but when i did it (hitler salute) everyone started applauding (medium-sized german town) and rushing over to me to bow at my feet for my bravery (medium-sized german town) and it got me really over-stimmied (adulting is hard) and my boner got even harder (i believe sex should stay in the bedroom no matter what) so i'm afraid i can't chaperone you to your brother's funeral, honey, i get that he's my family too but i'm just really in the need of some me-time in a safe space, ok?

[banepenis]

Moussaka inducted into the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame with 100% of votes

[banepenis]

EVERYONE IS TELLING ME TO BLAST HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE PEEPEES! i dont want..

[banepenis]

hmmm. you know, I feel like figuring out the location of the compound where all the 20 year-old pastel Goebbels types are on the Internet. I'll probably have to sift through a lot of white gravity falls characters being twice-whitewashed and forced to lose another 60% of their body weight in png form. Probably not worth it.

Tumblr:

Ringo Starr's wife: ello Ringo! fought yew moight want to knouw that moi fanny wants your willy!

[banepenis]

My Bane. Is Large. And Sharp. And Handsome. You Need?

[banepenis]

my female labrador got sucked down the alt-right/trad-wife pipeline and now all she does is go on facebook and post "this is what they took from you" type shit about english countryside dog breeding farms that leaves the mothers all mangled, and deus vult images of dough boy

[banepenis]

Sorry man! I can't come to your party, I have to go to court today. Accusations of malepratcice. Hm? No, I said that right.

[banepenis]

Frutiger Aeromorph

[banepenis]

I would like you to meet my new chaaracter

His name is The Walking Closet and he is the star of my new upcoming RPGMaker horror game.

[banepenis]

Hi, hi, um. I um. I need a lesbian's advice.

[banepenis]

I have gained some ideas about what it means to be a woman! But its all really fucking boring so I've discarded it and replaced it with some new information, which I will now shares with you:

Family Juy will air its next season in December 2025

[banepenis]

Why does this male have sticky hands...

[banepenis]

The opposable finger.

Own this BCV Original.

[banepenis]

You there, white woman! Define this "gangsta rap" you claim to love so much

[banepenis]

My evil dungeon is stupid as fuck and all the guards are uneducated rubes but well not for Troy the Hurter he will fuck you off and you won't be allowed to loot any of my teasure chests or my jewels

[banepenis]

Well I know you don't want to hear this but my father is dying of a kind of cancer that got really mad at him and it changed and well let me ust say I hate that bad fuck so it kind of inspired me to make some significant alterations to my life ✌️: thanks cancer