bandsywritings

[bandsywritings]

In my 5SOS feels tonight, I miss this band to bits.

[bandsywritings]

5SOS5 Behind The Scenes Photos via the 5SOS Joshua Tree Arcade Game

[bandsywritings]

i don’t wanna get older…

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🌙 I don’t wanna get older, without your head on my shoulder ⭐️

[bandsywritings]

5SOS: “Older” featuring Sierra Deaton is out now 🖤

[bandsywritings]

[bandsywritings]

Babies!!!

[bandsywritings]

Crashing Down On Me ✧ C.H

More of my work

Summary: You've put up with a lot from Calum- a little too much if you ask me. How far is too far? and when will you finally walk away?

"If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?"

Warnings: A fair bit of angst.

Words: 1.3k

When Calum asked you to go to his father's birthday lunch you swore today would be the day he finally asked you that one damn question you’d been waiting for him to ask for damn months now. 

Because people don’t just take anyone to their family lunches, right? Right? 

During the car ride, Calum told you that you looked beautiful, stating that your summer dress made your eyes pop and that he particularly liked the way you did your hair today. The compliments made your heart jump and you kept waiting. Desperately.

Ask me, I’m ready.

I’m waiting.

But when you tried to grab his hand apon entering his family home he was quick to brush you off. He continued to introduce you to everybody at the party as his friend and even more so, his cheeks turned a rather embarrassing shade of pink when you scooted closer to him to the point where your knees were touching whilst his mother was talking to you both.

You should be the one that was embarrassed, not him.

Slowly throughout the event, your heart sank more and more in your chest. No amount of sparkling wine could distract you from the way that Calum didn’t even look in your direction. Unlike on the car ride, where he’d had his hand on your thigh the entire time, eyes flicking to the passenger side where you sat every few seconds. 

When the two of you were in bed together he deemed he couldn’t get enough of you. Calums calloused hands had grazed every inch of your body and soul. You knew his deepest fears and he knew yours. You discovered his fear of being alone before he was even aware of it. You’d spent a portion of his last tour with him, missed key exams to be front row at his concerts. Picked up drunk phone calls at three am when he needed a ride home from parties. You’d listened to him talk about how badly he’d been hurt before and why he’d never let himself get hurt again.

“You make this celebrity thing a little less lonely, you know?” 

You were a fool to believe you meant more to him.

“I’m just not a relationship person. I don’t do relationships.”

The breaking point was when he left you alone in a room filled with strangers to talk to one of his childhood friends who had been invited. And he looked at her the way he should’ve been looking at you.

You were filled with jealousy. A sickening amount at that. But there you stood alone, a glass of sparkling wine in your hand as you watched Calum- your date look at another girl in a crowded room the way he only looked at you when the two of you were alone. 

Calum was not yours. But you so desperately wanted him to be. 

You decide to sit down at a nearby table, your fifth glass of wine had made your head hurt but you grab another, hoping this one would numb the pain a little better than the previous glass did.

Moments go by before the seat next to you is pulled out and Calum takes a seat next to you. 

“You alright? You’re very quiet today.” 

“I’m good.” You assure him, feeling yourself begin to choke on your words ever so slightly.

“You know you can’t lie to me, lovey,” Calum tells you softly.

He considers grabbing your hand for a mere moment before wiping the thought from his head. Instead, he takes the glass of alcohol from your hand and places it softly on the table. 

You want to throw the wine in his face and ruin the designer suit that he looks so good in. But that wouldn’t be very mature of you, so instead you play with the gold band around one of your fingers, refusing to meet the eyes of the boy who was so seemingly worried about you. 

“Cal?” You swallow, praying you don’t choke on your own confidence. "If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?"

Calum freezes, so you repeat yourself. Only a little louder this time. 

"If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people… will you do it?"

“I-I…” Calum draws out his answer, hurt eyes staring down at the table. 

He can’t even look at you and that alone is enough of an answer.

You purse your lips. Salty tears threaten to spill from your eyes and god - if you weren’t currently in a room with so many people you would’ve let them slip. Maybe that’s why you’re so thankful you and Calum are finally having this conversation in front of all his closest family. That way he can’t see you completely and utterly torn.

You grab the wine he’d previously taken from you and skull the rest, needing some sort of liquid courage to get up and leave. 

You knew that if you didn’t end it now you’d repeat this cycle for many more months. Allowing yourself to be used and discarded when necessary on Calum's part.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Y/n, please don’t go.” He begs quietly. Afraid anyone around him would hear the situation that was currently taking place. “Please stay.”

Time after time you’ve done as he asked. You’d turned away shifts at the bar when you desperately needed money to spend evenings cuddled up in his bed whenever he was available. Slipped away from family events early to meet for coffee because he asked you to. You’d cancelled girls' night to run away to a random hotel because he missed you. And for fucks sake, you’d cancelled dates with boys who were actually interested in putting a label on it when Calum had told you they weren’t worth it. 

But not this time.

You stand up hurriedly, pushing your chair into the table with such a force it makes the glasses shake and cutlery clash together harshly. Calum looks around to make sure no one’s paying attention. He catches a few concerned gazes. 

“You’re scared, Cal.” You hit him with the bitter truth. “You’re scared I’m going to hurt you the same way they did. You’re scared I’m going to get frightened off by the paps and crazy fans and you’re scared that you’re not worth it.” As you speak, Calum doesn’t try and stop you. “I have stuck around through everything. Everything. And I have waited for you to realise.”

“I almost left months ago you know? But Ash, he- he told me to stick around because eventually you’d realise what was right in front of you and you’d make me yours but I have waited for so long and I can’t do it anymore.” You swallow harshly. “I’m not just going to keep fucking you when it suits you.” 

Had he really been treating you like that? Calum ponders, like some object he can call on when he feels like it? 

“You’re more than that.”

You had become somebody Calum regarded highly. Your presence alone bought him joy and he thought he’d proved that to you. But Calum wasn’t a relationship man - he’d told you that before. The brunette doesn’t know what else to say. Your words, brutally fucking honest strike him like a knife to the chest. 

“Really? Because it doesn’t feel like it, Cal.” You collect your phone and keys from the table. “Don’t call me, don’t text. Just- let’s leave this here. Whatever this is - “ you point between you and Calum. “It’s done. Find yourself somebody else to fuck over. I’m not going to sit around and wait for you to realise what you’ve got anymore.” 

The part that hurts the most is that Calum just watches you walk away. Somehow after all that a small part of you thought he’d try and stop you from leaving and an even smaller part actually expected him to grab you and kiss you as you’d asked to prove his feelings.

But the bigger part of you knew that Calum would never do that much. He was hurt beyond repair and as much as you believed you could fix him - you couldn’t. 

Calum can do nothing but watch desperately as what was possibly the best thing that had ever happened to him walks away. 

[bandsywritings]

holy shit dude.

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don't mind me just being grateful that 2021 brought us this calum

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good morning to me 🥰🥰

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put the record on & watch you play 🎸📀

[bandsywritings]

Ashton’s the kind of boyfriend to write you love letters reminding you about the first time you guys met and the place you both had your first kiss and how he felt about you then and now (it never changed) and also that time when you walked into his class for the first time and he knew it was “love at first sight” and he’ll also bring up about that big fight you guys had and will say sorry for it again even though you knew it was both of your faults, and that alone would fill out a page or two and he adds another one on how much he appreciates and love you for staying and then apologises for being so cheesy and by the end of all of it he doesnt realise he has written over almost 10 pages long

[bandsywritings]

hOLY i forgot i’ve written the prompt to this (sorta) and now recalling it fucked me up so bad but alright here we go

It has been way too long since Michael’s been away and it has never been more difficult being apart from each other especially without him yelling profanities in the house while watching late night soccer matches or at a new video game he was too stubborn to admit he was bad at. The silence was never so deafening. More than that, you absolutely miss his smell, his touch and the warmth of his body pressed against yours every night. Nevertheless, tonight, everything was going to change. Michael’s finally coming back home and you’ve already decided you wanted to take the hour drive all the way to the airport to pick him up, but not an hour ago he had urged you to stay home instead since he was also gonna grab a cab home with the boys anyways. So you obliged.

Still, the excitement did not waver. You smirked to yourself upon a cheeky idea that popped into your head as you slip out of whatever you’re wearing and tuck yourself under the fluffy blankets after a warm relaxing bath, scrolling through your phone while you waited for him to come home. But eventually the warmth of the sheets lulled you to sleep and the next thing you know, it was already 3 in the morning when you woke. You looked beside you to an empty bed, your heart sank deeply as you begin to worry about Michael’s absence. So you pick your phone up to check for any miss calls from Michael but sure enough, there weren’t any. Quickly, you pulled on a shirt of his you randomly grabbed from his drawer and headed out of the room, making your way downstairs while dialling his contact on your phone.

Before it even rang through, you let out a huge sigh of relief when you found the coloured-hair kitten sprawled across the couch, fast and soundly asleep. He seemed so worn out by all the travelling that he barely even made it to the bedroom when he got home. The suitcase was left by the door, with his pair of shoes that he kicked out off by it’s side. It’s like you could almost retrace the steps Michael had left since he got home because everything was the way you imagined it to be. Except for one thing. A bouquet of sunflowers on the coffee table had caught your attention, it laying carelessly on the edge. You smiled excitedly and tip-toed your way to him, sat gently by his side as you lift your hand to brush his fringe away from his face and then leaning in to place a kiss on his lips which you had missed so dearly. Michael flinched when your lips touched, to which you pull away and chuckled because it reminded you of how Snow White was awaken by her prince, he initially opened his eyes with a hint of annoyance but a smile appeared immediately when he saw you in front of him.

“Hey,” He whispered, eyelids still fluttering slowly, but he’s now laughing too. “I forgot I was already home, I thought the boys were pranking me when you kissed me. Oh God. O-Oh yea bab-” Michael sat up and glances promptly at the coffee table, and then goes on to balance himself on the edge of the couch with his legs tangled around you while he tries to reach for the sunflowers once he had set his eyes on them. “Um well.. surprise!?? Sunflowers over roses, right?” You beamed at the thought that he remembered that they were your favourite kind.

“Right.” You nodded shyly and accepted the flowers from his hands. Michael was never the kind to get you flowers so this was quite a pleasant surprise. He looked at you fondly while you appreciated the flowers, his eyes never left you as you were taking little sniffs at them. Even through his exhausted eyes, anyone could easily tell that he had missed this sight. To him, nobody had a prettier smile as compared to yours, and he was glad he could still be the reason for it. “Thank you Michael, they’re so pretty. I love them.” 

“And you’re so pretty, Y/N. I love you.” He leans in for a quick kiss, “Shall we get a proper vase for these flowers?”

[bandsywritings]

Boyfriend!Luke the type to wake up with half his face pressed into the sheets, and he’s topless and half-tucked under the blankets. The sun was already peeking through the curtains and hes scrunching up his nose and groaning at how the rays were trying to blind him but immediately pops an eye open when he hears the soft subtle tune of Beside You playing through your speakers. He knows you love listening to his music while you get ready. An ever so endearing smile creeping unto his face as he watches you with amusement as you apply your make up and humming along to the song. He giggles as you jump around trying to squeeze into your skinny jeans, and now hes fully awake, sat up and leant against the headboard. Eyes never leaving you, he occasionally runs his fingers through his hair and tells you repeatedly how beautiful you are to him and asks how did he get so lucky. He just loves watching his girl get ready for her day, it’s probably one of his favourite daily routines.

[bandsywritings]

But your best friend Michael enters your dressing room and your face brightens immediately at the sight of him through the reflection in front of you while you’re still getting your hair and make up done. You turned your chair around slowly with a huge grin, taking in a proper view of the boy decked out in a black & white suit from the corner of your eye, “wow, someone cleans up good, huh?” You teased while eyeing him from head to toe, not used to seeing him without his usual muscle tank and skinny jeans/ sports shorts. His hair still the same mess though but he got it dyed in time so it matches the colour of your wedding theme - a mix of pastel blue and pink, which you found so endearingly cute that you couldnt help but reach up to ruffle your fingers through it.

“And you look beautiful, as always.” He says softly, giving your hand a little squeeze, his eyes never leaving yours ever since they fell on you the moment he arrived. 

“Nervous?”

“Yeah” You mutter, letting out a breathy laugh.

“You’re fine, princess.” He reassures.

Once your hair and make up was done, you threw yourself excitedly into his embrace. His arms caught on quickly around your waist and pulls you closer for what felt like the longest, warmest hug. “Thank you for everything, Mikey.” Both of you on the verge of tears, yet you swear you could feel him smiling, swaying the both of you from side you side as you spoke. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here marrying him today. Of course you’d be the one bringing the love of my life to me. You’re like my angel…” You pull apart to look at him and giggled, “..although you never looked like one at all.”

He smiled and rolled his eyes at your teasing comment all whilst wishing somehow that time could stay still right now in this moment, just for a little while more.

[bandsywritings]

I think a lot about sharing solemn moments with calum. Like imagine climbing up to the rooftop with him. The scenery ahead is pinned with lights from the city and cars in the distance, everything just seems absolutely timeless that night. He casually lights up a cigarette (as you do), sharing the silence and taking in the perfect view. And even though your bodies are not even touching each other, the intimacy is out of this world. Nothing beats unspoken conversations.