bagsyy
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i can’t exist within my own head
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bagsyy · 8 days ago
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if they didnt want me to fall hopelessly in love with fictional characters why did they make them so easy to fall in love with huh?????????? why did they make them so kissable and easy to care about and imagine a life with hmmmmmmmmm??????????
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bagsyy · 8 days ago
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bagsyy · 1 month ago
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And again
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bagsyy · 3 months ago
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lol
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bagsyy · 3 months ago
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COME BACK GOJO
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bagsyy · 3 months ago
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bagsyy · 3 months ago
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YOU WILL FIND A WAY!!!! YOU WILL FIND A WAY . You will find a WAY ….. you WILL find a way . You will find a way you will find a way……!! YOU WILL FIND A WAY YOU WILL FIND A WAY you will find a Way you will (find) a way you will find. a way you will find a way YOU WILL FIND A WAY!!!!!!!
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bagsyy · 6 months ago
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bagsyy · 6 months ago
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the strongest
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bagsyy · 7 months ago
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BIRDS OF A FEATHER (satoru gojo x reader)
a/n: (wc: 0.9k) gojo-centric, dad-to-be!gojo, implied pregnant!reader, angst to fluff, i literally don’t know what made me write this it just happened :/ it’s kind of different from what i normally write so i am kinda nervous but hope you guys enjoy it <3
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Satoru Gojo always knew what would become of him, what was expected of his hand that wields a power like no other. 
He was strong—the strongest, which came with a league of it’s own. The title had it’s glitter and gold; people fawned to him like bees to honey. He was it—the sight to see. 
However, Gojo found that his reputation often preceded him. 
Maybe he was a bit naive, a bit premature with his flashy conclusions, but he can now admit that he was wrong to assume that the top would be less lonely than the bottom. He thinks they’re equals, that people choose to ignore how many similarities they truly have. While one may be flashier than the other, they isolate you all the same. 
He vaguely recalls a memory—one from where he was young, barely nineteen years old, as Yaga stood before him and shook his hand with a forceful pride. 
The Untouchable Satoru Gojo, he’d called him, eyes swimming with that oh-so-familiar glimmer of satisfaction with a tinge of insatiable jealousy. 
Gojo remembers shaking his head at the comment, scoffing through gritted teeth about how that’s not necessarily a compliment.
Because what people tend to misunderstand, is that being untouchable also implies that Gojo’s unable to touch. Unable to let people in, let someone know him for who he is instead of what he can do, what he can be. 
Gojo doesn’t know what will become of him when he’s no longer the strongest. He doesn’t know what he is, if not the very best. He doesn’t think he has much more to offer if he can no longer provide the power and protection that all of those around him seek. 
If a bird has no wings, will it still be asked to fly? 
The more he thinks about it, Gojo’s not sure if the flightless life of an animal made to soar is one worth salvaging. Maybe it’d be better to end it’s suffering—the humane and moral thing to do. I mean, it has no purpose now, right?
The two of you sit in the chilly waiting room of a doctor’s office. 
God, does he hate hospitals. He’s never had the privilege of associating them with anything good. To him, it’s not a place of miracle workers or second chance rehabilitation—it’s one of blood and pain and heartache. One where he’s dropped people off just to never see them again. One that takes a part of him with it every time he walks between its fluorescent and grim hallways.
However, today will be different. Satoru Gojo will leave a hospital with a reason of love and hope—because today, he will be seeing his baby (or rather, his soon to be baby) for the very first time.
A little clump of cells submerged in the warmth of your body, something that will grow into one of the greatest blessings Gojo is ever supposed to know. Today will be the first time he sees the creation on the tiny little ultrasound screen. The first time he’ll hear it’s rapid heartbeat, similar to that of a mockingbird’s. 
He nervously fiddles with his hands—hands that have caused just as much destruction and damage as they have prevailed with grace. Hands that have carried thousands of corpses; some he knew, some he loved. Hands that can harm as easily as they can heal. 
How on earth is he supposed to use these same hands to protect a child—his child? Something so small and pure and defenseless? When he can barely protect himself, when he can barely protect you?
His stomach gurgles and festers with bottomless fear as he begins to understand just how in over his head he truly is. 
This was a mistake. A mistake that’s going to get innocent people hurt. A mistake that will let him get a taste of the sweetest love he’s ever known, just for it to be ripped from the hold of his palms and leave him barren and hollow. 
Noticing his anxiety—his twitchy fingers and restless sighs—you casually slip your hand into his, intertwining the two of them as if they’re puzzle pieces molded solely for one another’s fit. 
Gojo looks over at you due to your sudden touch, and he see’s your reassuring smile—one that instantly fills him with a warmth indescribable to the past-him. He thinks about his nineteen year old self again, wondering if the teenager could have ever imagined a love burning this bright, feeling this safe. 
He looks at his hands again, now holding your smaller ones. His hands, ones that gently brush away the stray hairs from your forehead. Hands that worship your ever-soft skin with tender touches and purposeful caressed. Hands that will hold your child—a gift, half him and half you—with all of the love he can muster from his shattered and poorly bandaged heart. 
With a new perspective, Gojo thinks about the wingless bird once more. Maybe, it doesn’t need to be pardoned, maybe it can find a new purpose. 
No one is just one thing, right? Sure, we have things we’re known for—chickens lay eggs, hawks soar over their prey, and Satoru Gojo is the strongest. But that’s not all they are, nor is it all he is. 
He knows that he loves you, weak or strong. That he craves your touch, no matter the state of his infinity. He aches for the taste of your cooking, no matter if his stomach is filled to the brim with sweet delicacies or is eating itself alive from the inside out. He knows he’ll always want to return to the warmth of your bed, whether he’s sleeping on the finest of mattresses or flat upon a concrete floor. He’ll want you all he same—always. 
And for that grounding reason, Satoru Gojo knows that whatever may become of him, strongest or not, he will be a father—a great one, at that. 
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bagsyy · 7 months ago
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surreal, but nice
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cw: 7k wc, female reader, strangers to lovers, osamu doesn't exactly know how to handle one of the most famous music artists in japan suddenly popping in onigiri miya, inspired by notting hill, my sappy entry for the romcom collab hosted by @bloompompom! thank you @yellow-sword-lily, this fic is also a little yours :)
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Miya Osamu is a creature of habit.
He gets up fairly early, showers, never leaves the small apartment without fixing himself a nutritious breakfast, more or less knows and is therefore prepared to what to expect from each particular day.
Downstairs there’s his beloved shop, a dormant creature he gently stirs from sleep each morning. When he doesn’t have to head to the market to select and order the freshest products, Osamu starts the day by contacting all his suppliers and arranging the deliveries. He then checks the inventory, reviews reservations, welcomes the only other chef to discuss any special preparations or new experiments. It’s not unusual for him to check his emails, monitor the website and official social media of the shop, the one thing he actually hates doing because he knows damn well one negative comment will ruin his day, especially since there’s nothing he can do to rectify mistakes made days, sometimes weeks before.
He has a chef, one dishwasher, three servers, two food delivery drivers and that’s about it. Osamu Miya is the owner, manager, host, executive chef, server and cashier of onigiri Miya. He juggles management skills, culinary talent and business acumen just perfectly. He’s prepared and knows exactly what each day has in store for him.
Until you happen.
Osamu has been cooking for almost three hours by the time the shop officially opens at 11AM. It’s not unusual for new faces to come in from time to time, despite his clientele being more or less established, but it is rare to hear the little door chime ring so soon. Except if his dumb brother happens to be in town.
But you’re not his dumb brother. You’re a new and yet strangely familiar face, even hidden behind thick sunglasses and a beret that one could deem more appropriate to a parisian getaway rather than a Kansai one.
“Morning” you offer a little bow, hesitant by the door “you’re open, right?”
“Uh, sure” he smiles, still a little uncertain after a moment of astonishment “I don’t often have clients for breakfast. What can I get ya?”
“I’ve been told this is the best onigiri shop in town. I’ll let you decide”
You seem to consider your options for a moment, then decide to sit at the closest empty table. Osamu would usually provide more than a nod: he’d make conversation, ask questions. Forming bonds with whoever visits his shop and trusts his food is his favorite part of the day, as well as a great activity to engage in while his hands are busy putting the rice into molds.
“Close that mouth” is the only thing he utters under his breath, glancing at the server who set your table “yer catching flies”
“But it’s her!” Hiro squeaks as silently as humanly possible “I’m gonna ask for an autograph”
“You will do no such thing”
“We could hang it in the shop!”
“Go help in the kitchen, Minato called in sick today. I’ll handle this”
Hiro disappears behind closed doors but only after batting his freakishly long lashes to his boss, a heartbreaking disappointed look on his face.
Osamu takes a deep breath and squeezes the molds together, an action executed as gently as possible to keep the fluffy texture that makes his onigiri the best in town.
He knows you, of course he knows you. Not only your face was on any available surface for the entirety of the previous summer (posters, billboards, magazine covers to advertise your first ever concert in the Koshien stadium), he’s also pretty sure in high school Atsumu had perpetually ruined the walls of their shared room with some crappy adhesive squares used to hang your poster.
Osamu is not really a dedicated listener, he knows a couple of your most famous songs and that your success is damn near planetary. You have a house in Tokyo but spend most of the year in America, California if he recalls correctly, and you tour across Europe as well. Yet, it’s been easy to pick what to serve you. The gourmet options such as salmon roe or roast beef are off the table: they don’t make new clients feel special. What new clients need is a taste of authenticity, something that reminds them of home, and don’t you look just like the kind of person who could use some of that?
Osamu decides on pickled plum, tuna mayo and bonito flakes. One serving usually consists of three onigiri but he can’t resist adding an extra treat for you, a tenmusu onigiri. He’s recently perfected the recipe with an egg-free tempura batter that is still thick enough to absorb his special sauce.
He hopes it’s not creepy that he lingers by your table after he brings your meal: celebrity or not, you’re a new client. And Osamu can’t resist observing the wander taking over customers who are unfamiliar with his kitchen, as soon as they take the first bite. He hopes you are no exception.
“If this is an onigiri” you lock eyes with him and smile, glorious, radiant “what the hell have I been eating until now?”
“Probably not the best in town” he grins, proud, a slight blush already coating his cheeks. Damn it, he’s tempted to turn the baseball cap once more, let the brim shield his awkwardness. But that would be totally lame.
“Is it a family business?”
“No. It’s just… mine”
You hum, busy chewing on another bite. Then you swallow and ask another question, invite him to sit eventually, then apologize because he’s probably busy (he is) and has things to do (he does) but this is never going to happen again for Osamu, because he’s not Atsumu. And so he sits and makes conversation like a normal human being that definitely isn’t obsessively dwelling on how beautiful you are, how different your voice sounds when you’re not singing, how much he’d hate for a client to come in and pop that bubble. Which is exactly what happens and he doesn’t like it one bit how you interrupt your chuckle, lower your head, hunch your shoulders in an attempt to hide. He doesn’t like that he has to excuse himself, call Hiro back form the kitchen, make conversation with Suzuki-san, listen while he describes all his latest hospital visits in horrifying detail.
You look at him from time to time, the quiet shop owner suddenly turned chatty sparks your curiosity. He’s skilled with his hands and genuienly interested in what the person who must be an habitué has to say. He’s attractive, too. Especially as he tries to disguise the occasional glances directed your way or the disappointment that flashes in his eyes when you get up and start collecting your things.
“Can I get the check, please?” you approach the counter, pretend not to notice his hesitation. Osamu decides against indulging in the “it’s on the house” cliche, opts for treating you as any other client. With the exception of a small discount you won’t even notice.
“That was the best breakfast I had in a while” you collect the receipt and put in your pocket.
“You should come back, then. To have another” Osamu cringes internally as soon as the words leave his mouth and Suzuki-san’s chuckle makes him want to dig a hole to disappear into. But you smile, despite probably having heard the corny line a million other times, and tell him that you just might.
It would’ve been perfect: a beautiful ending to a glorious encounter. It could’ve been. If only you didn’t turn around so abruptly, a small shriek echoing across the shop as you came face to face with Mai, the sudden sound and panic causing her to jump and spill the fresh iced tea from the jug in her hand all over your painfully clean, crisp, starched, white button down.
You both freeze, your mouth open in a silent scream, an horrified look in Mai’s eyes that would’ve been comical on literally any other occasion. Osamu wishes he would’ve went with the “it’s on the house” cliche.
“Oh my god! Oh god! It’s you! I mean, I’m sorry!” Mai’s voice comes out an octave too high “my god, I’m so sorry!”
“Well, this is great” you frantically grab a handful of napkins from the counter and attempt to dab the mess on your shirt “I have a meeting in half an hour!”
“Please, take my uniform! I will pay for the dry cleaning!”
“Actually” Osamu chimes in as politely as possible, trying his best not to let his anxiety get the best of him “don’t take this the wrong way but, uh, I live upstairs. You can get cleaned up and…”
“You’re kidding, right?” your astonished look is almost glacial. It makes him falter just slightly.
“Or ya can leave with a giant orange stain on yer wet, probably uncomfortably cold shirt?”
“Miya-san!” Mai’s hiss and your shocked expression make him think that sarcasm probably wasn’t a good idea. Osamu sighs.
“Listen, I’m really sorry. These are the keys, you can go on your own, I promise the bathroom’s clean”
You eye him for a few seconds more, then decide against grabbing the keys from his hand.
“I’m gonna need a change of clothes”
Osamu blinks a couple times, dumbfounded. His clothes? You’re asking to wear… his clothes?
“Sure! Yeah, sure. Come on” now his voice sounds uncharacteristically squeaky and he clears his throat as you follow him up the stairs, Suzuki-san’s good grief still ringing in his ears.
Thank god he cleaned the entire apartment just the day before. As much as he likes to brag about being the tidy twin, deep down he knows he’s just as messy as Atsumu.
Osamu tries hard not to look at you, leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed while he rummages in his drawers in search of something that could fit you. He shortly wonders if it’d be a good idea to offer a complementary bento box to make up for the disaster Mai caused.
“I’m genuinely sorry” he starts rambling because the silence is unbearable and some of Atsumu’s genes really do take over sometimes “the worst incident we ever had at the shop was my brother almost choking on his dinner. I had to perform the heimlich maneuver, it wasn’t pretty” god, where the hell are this clean, not embarrassing shirts?
“Guess this one will go down in history” your voice is less sharp now, which relieves him.
“Oh, no. I will never tell anyone about this, ever. Mai and Suzuki-san will have to sign an nda. A proper, legally binding one”
The laugh you offer sounds weirdly intimate in the small space of his bedroom, it makes the tips of his ears hot. Finally, he’s able to dig out a decent, basic shirt you accept by thanking him softly. When you lock yourself in the bathroom, Osamu rushes to the kitchen to tidy up the mess he’s left behind after that morning’s breakfast. No time to concentrate on how you’re actually, genuinely in his home, cleaning yourself in the same bathroom he showered in, without a shirt on.
No one’s ever going to believe him. Hell, he may not believe it himself by the end of the day.
“Hey” he jumps at your voice, sudden and closer than expected. You look good in his basic shirt, it suits you somehow. Did you shove your own in one of the bags you left by the door?
“Hey” Osamu says back and cringes for the millionth time “are ya hungry?”
You smile when he shuts his eyes for a second, right after the silly question leaves his mouth.
“Not hungry”
“Right. Of course. Thirsty? I have really good tea, from Shizuoka. And orange juice” he pauses for a second, then adds “or water”
Your smile grows, almost melts into a giggle. “Not thirsty either”
“Okay” he clears his throat “how about dessert? I made some mitarashi dango just yesterday”
“I have a meeting to attend”
“Oh. Sure, yeah, that makes sense” he wants to bash his head against the wall “I’ll walk you out. To downstairs” thank fuck ‘Tsumu isn’t there, he’d never let him live this down. Jesus.
You precede him to the door, gather your bags, then softly thank him for the shirt.
“Nice meeting you, Osamu” he nearly explodes when you say his name, no honorifics whatsoever. How do you even know? He hasn’t carried a name tag on his shirt for years.
“It was nice to meet you too” there’s no time to dwell on dumb, pointless questions “surreal, but nice”
He thinks if your smile could conjure waves, he’d gladly give up all the oxygen in his lungs and drown in them. Has someone ever looked as beautiful while smiling at him? He doesn’t think so. He can’t think. Not when you’re leaning closer, not when your arms are suddenly wrapped around his neck, not when you’re pressing your lips to his. Holy shit. You’re pressing your lips to his. And he’s forgotten how to breathe, let alone kiss. Osamu just freezes, like a marble statue, like a teenager who’s never touched a woman before. Right as he’s about to swallow the shock and fucking move, you’re already pulling away, eyes not leaving his despite the slight self-consciousness swarming in those irises.
And then you disappear, just like the dream he believed you were, all that’s left is an empty spot by the door and his heart slamming against a pathetically ill-equipped ribcage.
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La Suite is one of the most luxurious hotels in the prefecture and Osamu feels out of place with the 30 onigiri order he’s carrying past a french restaurant and a traditional japanese one, all soft carpeting, dim lights and wide windows. So different from his.
He timidly explains that he’s there to deliver an order to a certain Bennet-san, who for some reason insisted he’d be the one bringing it to her hotel. They look at him funny but let him through and give the coordinates: top floor, superior double room. A woman meets him the second he steps out of the elevator and sternly asks him to follow her, a silly part of him wonders if he’s about to get murdered in one of the top 25 hotels in Japan. But then she knocks on a door right before swinging it open and he doesn’t even get to explain that he’s not supposed to get inside, she can take the bloody bag and he’ll be on his merry way, but once again Osamu fails to determine what the day holds in store for him.
Once more, it’s you. A less preppy version, one that seems so small in such a gigantic room, the sea breeze blowing from the terrace gracefully lifting up the hem of a tennis skirt you immediately fight to keep down as you promptly get up from the couch.
“Hi” he says, so dumbfounded he barely notices the door closing behind him.
“Miya-san” you bow, keep your eyes down, no sign of a smile he could by now deem familiar “I’m sorry for the trouble, I know the hotel is pretty far from the restaurant and you must be busy. This will only take a second”
Osamu’s brows furrow, confusion evident in the way he cocks his head. You don’t catch it, because your eyes are glued to the floor. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I don’t know what came over me, I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me”
His eyes soften as part of the tension leaves his shoulders. Truth is, Osamu is glad you’re apologizing: despite how beautiful and dreamy you may be, life is not quite a movie and he doesn’t exactly appreciate being blindsided by a stranger. He doesn’t really understand what made you think kissing him would be a good idea (was his awkardness interpreted the wrong way? Did his stare linger on your smile a second too long?) but he’s certain you meant no harm. A shitty person certainly wouldn’t take time out of her day to leave an autograph on a napkin, especially right after half a jug of iced tea was spilled on her shirt just minutes before. To Hiro, with love.
After a moment, he clears his throat. “Can ya look at me?”
You meet his gaze hesitantly, mouth a thin line of harsh disapproval directed at yourself. For a second, you remind him of someone and he almost breaks into a smile.
“Thank you for apologizing. We’re good”
“Are you certain?”
“Yeah!” he chuckles “you didn’t have to place such a big order”
You blink twice, then start nervously fiddling with your fingers “ah, actually I didn’t do it to… well, those onigiris are just really good. I wanted to take some extra ones with me”
“You’re leaving?” he doesn’t mean to sound disappointed, especially not while you’re so intentionally keeping your distance.
“Kinda. My record label rented a house in the countryside, I’ll spend most of the summer locked in, trying to finish my new album. I couldn’t do it in America, I missed being home but didn’t want to endure Tokyo’s chaos so I ended up picking Hyogo. Sorry, you didn’t ask to know all that” you chuckle tensely “we leave tomorrow and I didn’t want to go without apologizing first. That’s all. You may go now”
Osamu hums. “I may go? As in I’m excused?” he laughs when your painfully stoic expression melts into sheer horror.
“No! Of course not, I didn’t mean it like that!”
“You take yourself too seriously” he grins “I’m just messin’ with ya”
“That’s not very nice of you”
“Would you compare it to kissing a stranger out of the blue?”
“Oh god” you hide your overheated face in your hands “you said we’re good!”
“And we are” Osamu steps closer to gently place the bags still in his hands on the marble topped pedestal coffee table. It’s just fun to tease you, one of the many irritating habits he shares with his brother.
His brother. Osamu looks up, a risky desire taking shape in his head and threatening to spill over the tip of his tongue.
“I’m really sorry, Miya-san” you repeat and he doesn’t love that you’re now calling him that “uh, this is your shirt. Cleaned and ironed. Thank you for…”
“Whatcha doing tonight?”
You freeze, paper bag still in hand. “Uhm, nothing interesting”
“No packing?”
“My manager does that for me”
He chuckles. “Right. Chances you’d want to spend your last night in the city at an even less interesting birthday party?”
Osamu waits patiently while you weigh your options, recognizes the confusion in your hesitant stare but doesn’t quite understand why there’s a weary vibration to your voce when you accept, the slight disappointment that flashes across your features.
It’s only fair, you think as he parts from the room with a smile and the command to secure those onigiris in a fridge. If showing you off to his friends like some valuable conquest is the way he wants to even the score, you’re in no position to deny him. You’re the one at fault and you’ve been given a chance to make up for it by wearing the facade you wear best.
Then why does it feel so disheartening, this time?
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When Shinsuke opens the door, he’s more surprised by your presence than the carefully wrapped gift in your hands. Not that he doubted Osamu: why send a message to the group chat telling everyone that a) he was bringing someone and b) they should’ve absolutely not behaved any differently than usual if not better (in bold), if he wasn’t actually going to show up with a plus one?
Still, a small part of him did wonder if Atsumu’s and Rintaro’s relentless teasing finally got the best of him. Shinsuke doesn’t think that his friend works too much or that he should start “looking around” before “his hair starts greying again only this once naturally”. He remembers Osamu rolling his eyes at his brother when he implied that at this rate he’s gonna have to tie the knot with the restaurant, only to then space out for most of the evening as everyone else found new topics to migrate toward.
In short, Shinsuke wondered if Osamu was going to come up with a last minute excuse to justify the empty spot next to him at the table. But it seems that spot is going to be taken after all, by you nonetheless.
“Nice to meet you, Kita-san” you smile after Osamu introduces you by your name and nothing else, not a wink, not even a subtle hint or a reasonable explanation “happy birthday”
Shinsuke accepts the gift with a polite thank you and he’s almost made sure you could preserve a nice, normal memory of stepping foot into his house for the first time, of course failing to consider the Hinata factor.
“Thank god, Osamu, I’m so hungry- holy shit! Is her your gift? I only brought a cap that says farm hair don’t care!” there’s a strange but seemingly friendly redhead looking at you with eyes so wide you fear they might roll out of their sockets.
“Shoyo, any chance you checked the chat today?” Osamu smiles at him widely but Kita recognizes the tension at the corners.
“What? Of course not, I was busy picking a cute gift” Hinata smiles too but his excitement is genuine “hello, nice to meet you! Please come in, you can help us set the table!”
You chuckle and meet Osamu’s horrified eyes for a second, his posture relaxes as your gentle reassurance puts him at ease. I’ll be in the other room, then. Leave it to Hinata to make a gigantic deal out of a special guest only to treat her as one of his buddies ten seconds later. You seemed comfortable, though, as one always feels whenever Shoyo happens to be around.
“Who is she?” Shinsuke doesn’t mean for his tone to be so conspiratorial but he keeps it low, just in case you might still hear them.
“A friend. Kinda. Ya wouldn’t believe me” Osamu takes his jacket off and hangs it by the door, then picks up the plethora of bags from the floor and makes his way into his friend’s kitchen.
“No, I mean… who is she? Why does Shoyo know her?” Shinsuke follows suit, intent on helping him distribute all the food he’s brought in the different plates he has prepared. Osamu shakes his initial surprise off with a chuckle.
“Only one of the most famous pop music artists in Japan”
Kita stills his movements for a second, then absorbs the new information with a simple nod. “Right. And you met her at the shop”
“How d’ya know?”
“Where else would you be meeting a pop music artist?”
“Don’t make it sound so obvious” Osamu pulls a face and Shinsuke’s eyes twinkle with mischief.
“Well, she’s here. With you. Is it like… a date?”
“No” the peremptory answer comes embarrassingly fast “it’s her last night in the city, she’s here because she didn’t have anything better planned”
“But you invited her”
“Yes”
“Because you like her”
“I don’t-” Osamu gestures vaguely with his hands “it’s not like that. ‘Tsumu used to have a poster of her face in our room, for fuck’s sake”
Kita hums. “So what you actually mean is it can’t be like that”
“I don’t see the difference”
“I do”
“Well-” a loud commotion Osamu has been trained for over two decades to instantly recognize as his brother’s voice, makes the words die in his throat. By the time him and Shinsuke return to the colorfully decorated living room (courtesy of an overly enthusiastic Hinata and one resigned Rintaro), Atsumu is already talking your ear off and seemingly invading your personal space multiple times as he follows you around the table you’re setting with Suna like a golden retriever on a sugar overload.
“Shoyo, you were supposed to keep her safe” Osamu glares at his brother and takes a mental note to scold Aran too, later. For snickering.
Hinata doesn’t get the chance to defend himself because of course Atsumu’s the only one who could outshine that intense excitement with his own.
“Samu! What the hell? If this is yer gift to Shin, what are ya plannin’ to get me exactly?”
“Can everyone stop assuming she’s here as a thing and not as a person?” it comes out harsher than intended and Osamu feels his face grow hot when all those present simply stare a thim. When you stare at him.
Suna clears his throat.
“Cut him some slack, he came out of the bathroom and we could barely convince him she’s not a hallucination” you chuckle at that, which makes the ever stoic Rintaro look away with a faint blush blossoming on his pale cheeks.
“Wait” Atsumu looks at you, then at his brother and his brows become progressively furrowed “she’s here with you? As in, you invited her? And she said yes?”
Osamu wonders why he thought a simple admonishment in the group chat would be enough. He has half an idea of shoving an onigiri right into his brother’s loud mouth and not perform any maneuver whatsoever when the rice obstructs his airways.
“Actually, I wanted to come” you chime in so gently it takes a few moments for him to register the words “I’m leaving tomorrow and when Miya-san mentioned it was one of his friends’ birthday, I shamelessly asked if I could tag along. Hope I’m not a bother”
Kita is looking at you the same way Osamu is, puzzled. Hinata almost chokes on his coke and starts coughing profusely, so much that Aran has to lend him a napkin.
“A bother? No, of course not!” his nose might be on fire but by god, he physically cannot let you believe such nonsense for a second too long.
Atsumu’s mouth hangs wide open, brows still knit that make his expression overall hilarious “you make her call you Miya-san? Yikes, bro” he turns to you and makes a scene of slamming a hand on his chest “please, feel free to call me ‘Tsumu. I think we’re intimate enough by now”
“Given that we took five selfies and you made me sign my name on your abs, I also think we’re intimate enough” your grin seems genuine, which only startles Osamu more.
“Ya made her do what?” oh, there are probably not enough words in the japanese vocabulary for the way he’ll have to apologize at the end of the night.
“It’s fine, I didn’t mind” you shrug “but if I could ask everyone a small favor…”
“Sure, anything!” Atsumu’s interruption only makes your smile grow wider “I’d really like to celebrate Kita-san’s birthday like you’d normally do. Please don’t make a big deal out of me, it’s his night after all”
“She’s asking not to be treated like a circus act” Aran whispers to Hinata, who blinks his big brown eyes in quiet understanding.
“Done!” Atsumu’s fist hits his chest right where the heart is as he solemnly declares “you’re one of the boys now, consider yourself a pal”
“Thanks, ‘Tsumu” he tries to keep his composure but nearly implodes as you direct your attention to Shoyo “no, Hinata-san, this doesn’t mean we won’t be taking that picture I promised. Don’t worry” your wink is the prettiest, most wonderful thing he’s ever witnessed and thank fuck he’s done drinking that coke because his airways suddenly feel clogged.
Kita thinks this is already the most entertaining birthday he’s ever celebrated.
And celebrate his birthday you all do. Normally, as per your request. You sit between Rintaro and Osamu at dinner and masterfully divert the attention from yourself whenever the questions start piling up. The uno reverse technique works well: your curiosity feels flattering and everyone is happy to satisfy it. The questions you direct are extremely specific, your laugh echoes alongside everyone else’s and Osamu can’t help but think that, in some odd way, you fit in seamlessly. 
Keeping his eyes off of you isn’t but a strenuous fight with himself, it’d be lovely if looking would be the only activity he’d be allowed to engage in. It’s not hard to guess why hordes of fans and admirers are so enamoured: you’re such a natural. Polite, poised, funny, charismatic. Making you laugh feels like a privilege, having your brows raise in interest makes the story one’s recounting instantly fascinating. And yet you’re not doing any of that on purpose, he can tell. The one thing you’re being intentionally careful about is avoiding his gaze and making sure your arm doesn’t accidentally brush against his.
Osamu wants to ask himself why but also refuses to indulge in childish fantasies. What, he thought you liked him? Part of him believed you’d accepted to come to some stranger’s birthday party purely to spend an evening with him. Bullshit. Everyone in the world knows who you are and he simply owns an onigiri shop in Hyogo, one you happened to visit by sheer chance. He’s the guy you are so embarrassed to be seen with, you had to come up with a lie to justify your presence at the very same table that seems to adore you.
But when he jokingly throws a grain of rice at Aran, you hide your chuckle behind your hand. If he speaks, you always turn to look. Osamu doesn’t remember a social gathering where he tried to come up with just as many things to say, desperately conjuring genes that always weigh heavier in Atsumu. Unfortunately, the one person he could always count on, his dear friend and trusty supplier, decides his birthday night is the perfect occasion to stab him in the back.
“I’m sorry, I just need to ask” Kita refills your glass with fresh wine from across the table before retracting to his seat once more “your encounter with Osamu, how did it happen exactly?”
“Yeah, was his onigiri so good you wanted to-”
“Do not finish that sentence, Shoyo” Aran clears his throat as Suna, next to you, has a hard time swallowing his stir fry noodles.
“She heard my shop was the best in town, which it is, came to try it. That’s the story” Osamu wishes he could disappear into his kitchen as he often does when things at the restaurant get uncomfortable.
“I don’t buy it” Shinsuke shrugs “is that really the whole story?”
Kita’s knowing stare really hasn’t changed since high school and it seems you’re affected by it just as much as every other human. His eyes bore right into yours, trained to detect hesitation or even the hint of a lie, giving you no escape. Goddamn it, he’s still the team captain, there’s no running from him.
“Well” you gently swirl the glass in your hand, suddenly very much focused on the crimson liquid swooshing inside “I also kissed him”
This time someone does actually choke and, of course, it’s Atsumu. Right as Rintaro utters an ever quiet holy shit, he explodes in a coughing fit and Aran promptly strikes between his shoulder blades with the heel of his hand, perhaps with more force than needed. Thankfully, Atsumu manages to swallow his bite and, despite the tears threatening to run down his cheeks in all their shimmering glory, still conjures the energy needed to point an intimidating finger at his brother “ya bastard!”
“That’s a joke, right?” Hinata’s eyes have once again grown three sizes.
Kita doesn’t ask, the answer is written all over Osamu’s crimson red face. He was right, no one would’ve believed him.
“No, I really did” you take a sip from your glass and now everyone is looking at you like you’re some kind of alien. Except for Atsumu, who’s still glaring daggers at his brother.
“So this is… a date for you two?” Suna’s just as shocked as everyone else but seems to be the only person currently able to string words together.
“Oh, no” you brush the question off with a gracious wave of the hand “I just did it to thank him”
This time the silence stretches for a moment too long. Atsumu seems on the verge of passing out.
“You kissed him to thank him?” Kita cocks his head.
“Yeah. I mean, he was very kind. Have you never kissed someone to thank them?”
“Uh… no. I don’t think so”
“Really?”
“Do you…” Aran hopes to the gods that the words don’t come out the wrong way “do that often?”
“Aran” as much as Osamu wishes the earth could swallow him whole, he doesn’t want you to think his friends may be implying something they’re really not.
“I didn’t mean it like that!”
“It’s okay” you let our a nervous chuckle and because Osamu is sitting so close, he hears the shaky breath too “I know it was wrong. I tend to forget that’s not what normal people are used to. I apologized and now we’re good, right, Miya-san?” your eyes meet his and he feels his heart drop right into his stomach.
“Why are you used to that?” he asks instead of replying to your question and you just. Freeze.
“Yeah…” Hinata quietly chimes in “that doesn’t sound like something anyone should be used to”
For the first time, you don’t know how to respond. Osamu senses your panic, can read it in your eyes, but is too baffled to think of something smart or chivalrous to say.
“Holy shit, ya know what that means?” Atsumu slams both his hands on the table and both you and everyone else jump “it means she thinks I’m hot! In another life, I’d have a chance! Sorry, Shin, I know it’s yer birthday but I think this is the best night of my life!”
A quiet, astonished moment follows, then the table erupts in genuine laughter. You’re giggling so much you have to hold your stomach, Kita is shaking his head in resignation, Suna rolls his eyes with affection. Osamu settles for a smile as he relaxes against his chair once more. His brother may be loud and annoyingly inopportune, but his quiet support never once faltered throughout the years. One doesn’t need to be an old acquaintance to be taken under Miya Atsumu’s wing: if he senses as much as the hint of unease, his charismatic idiocy is summoned right away at the service of whoever may need it. Yet his loyalty remains unshakeable: Osamu knows that, in his stupid head, you’re already forbidden territory.
His mind is dizzy with confusion he doesn’t know how to properly address. As Kita blows out the candles on the cake he’s made, Osamu feels a wave of affection inundate his heart. He remembers that are nights like this that are worth being present, even if he has to get up at dawn or his sink is full of dirty dishes and he’s exhausted. Life only ever feels right when he’s with his friends or his family. It’s a routine he’s trained hard to get used to: work, work, work, carve out small moments to spend with those who come and go. It’s important for him to be there, when they come.
Osamu almost misses it, too focused on cleaning an extra plate or two in the kitchen, to make sure the birthday boy can get to relax once they leave. And then you call for him, a small crack in that poised facade of yours when his name almost slips out. You rush into the kitchen and urge him to hurry up, they’re already singing happy birthday to Kita-san. Come on, you’re missing it!
You probably wanted to go for his sleeve and found his hand instead, dragged him out of the room so quickly Osamu barely had the time to put the towel down. For some reason, once in the living room you don’t let go right away and neither does he. You only do so to clap with everyone else and even then it’s not entirely possible to establish who lets go first. Regardless, Osamu gives your hand a light squeeze and hopes you notice, despite there being no signs to indicate that.
You’re the first two people to excuse themselves: he refuses to let you go back to your hotel on your own, doesn’t give two shits that you have a driver or could well afford a cab because it’s a beautiful evening and Osamu is itching to have as little as ten minutes alone with you. He watches as you formally offer a hand to Suna and he grins as he shakes it, gently taking it in between his in a respectful attempt at suggesting that there’s no need to be so ceremonious.
You exchange quick hugs with everyone else, take the picture promised to Hinata, chuckle lightly when Atsumu timidly asks for a kiss on the cheek just because “it’s the american way of saying goodbye!” and of course you accomodate the request. Osamu is almost willing to bet you genuinely had fun but he also can’t seem to shake off the odd feeling suggesting you’ve somehow taken it upon yourself to just… appease everyone for the entire evening. Like some kind of duty. He doesn’t want you to think back to this evening like a task that had to be carried out.
“Oh my god, I cannot fucking believe it!” Atsumu’s shriek echoes loud and clear in the empty street  as soon as Kita shuts the door and you meet Osamu’s exasperated glare.
“I’m genuinely not sure what I should start apologizing for” he runs a hand through his brown hair and his stress makes you smile as you fall into a comfortable walking pace.
“I should start by thanking you for inviting me. Can’t remember the last time I had such a normal night”
“My friends are many things but I don’t know if they really fall into the normal category”
You laugh at that. “I think they’re really nice. It was fun. I didn’t know there were two of you”
Osamu grimaces, lightly shaking his head “good call, he’s the thing I should start apologizing for”
“I liked Atsumu” of course you did, don’t they all? “you’re lucky to have such good friends and a brother. Is it true what they say about weird connections us twinless mortals wouldn’t get?”
He sighs. As much as Osamu hates stereotypes and all the disadvantages that come with not being able to be his own person, the curse of always being considered nothing but part of a set, he knows the bond with Atsumu is just as rare and irreplaceable as people make it out to be.
“Well, I can pretty much always read his mind. But it’s not a twin thing, s’just an Atsumu thing” he shrugs “most transparent, honest person on earth”
“You’re both very kind” your observation strikes him. It hits the nail on the head: he does his best but it’s unusual for someone to notice ‘Tsumu’s selflessness right away.
“Could say the same about ya” he’s eager to direct the topic to the thing he’s really interested in, the one person who refused every bit of attention directed her way throughout the night “that tea collection must’ve costed a fortune. Shinsuke loves tea, yer manager picked well”
You hum, gaze focused on your feet. “Actually, I picked it”
Another thing Osamu has in common with his brother, the ability to royally fuck up in such a short amount of time.
“Oh, I didn’t-”
“It’s okay, happens all the time”
“What happens?”
“People assuming things” you’re not mad, there’s just a sad vibration to your voice. If he could punch himself in the face, he would.
“I’m sorry”
“Don’t be” Osamu hates the smile you toss at him. He hates it so much he stops in the middle of the sidewalk and watches you turn around, confusion flashing in your disenchanted eyes.
“There’s a pretty cool park ‘round the corner. How about a detour? If you’re not too tired”
You hum in agreement, ask him to lead the way. Careful, Osamu, you’d like to say. This same polite regard is what got me in trouble the first time.
The park, which is more of a garden really, is a slice of eden in the jungle that any city inevitably ends up feeling like. Lowlands, an abundance of irregular but colorful flowerbeds that seem to glow in the dark, the warm air of the evening saturated with the sweet scent of lime trees, a gravel path you both follow all the way to a small, wooden playground. It’s only natural to gravitate toward the swings, relish in the comfort of the stillness the evening offers. It always feels like the earth rotates slower, pace decelerating to give you more time to enjoy the things it’s hard to appreciate during your hectic days.
Osamu approaches the swing like an old friend, takes hold of the chains with both hands. He lightly pushes off the ground with his feet while pulling back, giving you a perfect view of his perfect profile.
“I don’t want to assume” he says quietly “so is it okay if I ask?”
“Yeah” you rest your head on the chain you’re holding, still looking at him who won’t look at you.
“Why did you tell ‘Tsumu you asked me to come tonight?” the actual question dies in his throat. Were you that embarrassed of being there with me?
“You seemed pretty self-conscious. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable” and I guess that way, you got to seem cooler.
Osamu almost chokes on his own spit from how surprised he is by your answer. What the fuck.
“I wasn’t-” not for the reason you seem to believe “I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable!”
You smile, patiently waiting for the moment where he’ll finally turn to meet your gaze instead of persistently staring at his feet. “I don’t think I ever felt that comfortable in a room filled with men”
“That shouldn’t be an exceptional occurrence”
“Right. But it is”
He spends a few moments trying to come up with the right words, a handful of seconds spent with part of his brain wishing he could have a talk with all the men who made you feel unsafe. How many? Where, why? Are they the reason why Osamu wants to get so desperately close and yet keep a respectful distance, not to scare you off, not to be another name added to the list of creeps you surely hate?
“Why did you kiss me?” those are far from being the right, considerate words he was trying to summon, but they bubble up from his throat before he can stop them.
You hum, pensive “I don’t know. You’re pretty, you’re gentle, I thought t’was what you expected to happen. It’s what men usually expect in return”
“In return for what?” he fights the urge to keep his eyes down, confident that the darkness will conceal the redness of his cheeks. You think he’s pretty and the first thing his dumb brain is able to link the revelation to, is Atsumu. Shit, he was right, this means you do find him attractive as well.
“Anything, really” your chuckle is devoid of actual humor “I know this night was supposed to make up for it but I didn’t expect to have so much fun. Regardless, I hope we’re even now”
Osamu furrows his brows.
“Ya think that’s why I invited ya?”
“Why else?”
He almost laughs, incredulous. You hide that mistrust really well, Osamu has to give it you. It feels unfair that life has given someone who seemingly has everything, so many reasons to think you can only be seen as an empty shell, some trophy with the sole purpose of being flaunted.
“You said you were leaving. I didn’t like the idea of not seeing you again”
“Really?” your lips curl into a small smile “the weird girl who jumped you on your first meeting?”
“You’re weird” he concedes “and selfless. Intelligent. Maybe jokes are not your forte but, hey, ya get to look like that” your laugh compliments his really well and Osamu can’t help but think he’d like to sit in a park, in the middle of the night, and talk and laugh and be with you just once more.
You briefly wonder if the man sitting so close to you is aware of just how devastatingly charming he is. Part of you wishes he’d want to take you out on a proper date, let you meet his friends on different occasions, include a weird stranger in such a well balanced life. Part of you also knows you’d never want to ruin that for him. Not for someone like Osamu. People who are unfortunate enough to stumble across you are almost always harassed away, it’s a life you’re used to and can’t bring yourself to run from. It’s who you are and, most importantly, all you have. It’d be too dangerous for your heart to desire anything different.
But he’s looking at you as if you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, land emerged from the sea millions of years ago for his eyes only to experience such a sight. No one’s ever looked at you with such wonder.
“I don’t want to assume” he holds your gaze locked to his, swing dangling lightly as he leans closer “so is it okay if I ask?”
“Yes” you utter a little too breathlessly.
“Can I kiss ya?”
You hum in affirmation and close your eyes, heart beating a little faster than what you’re used to as you sense his proximity. He smells nice, radiates warmth and his soft hair tickles a little when his lips gently press to your cheek.
Osamu smiles when he catches a glimpse of disappointment flashing over your features, the first of many clues he wants to learn how to interpret correctly. The cracks in a facade he’d make his personal mission to tear down.
“I know you have to go away tomorrow” he gently moves a strand of hair away from your forehead “but I wondered, if you didn’t, whether you might let me see ya a little. Or a lot, maybe”
You lean into his touch, calloused fingertips still barely grazing your skin.
“A lot sounds good”
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bagsyy · 7 months ago
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bagsyy · 7 months ago
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🤜🏻👊🏻 mahoraga help me
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bagsyy · 7 months ago
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i unironically genuinely despise jjk with all my being and spirit sometimes im not even saying this to be like jokes haha i genuinely from the bottom of my heart wish this series did not exist or that i could at the very least have treated it the way i treat like…attack on titan or something
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bagsyy · 8 months ago
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Double cake 🍰
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bagsyy · 8 months ago
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burn out
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bagsyy · 8 months ago
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time to be messy, hq fans whose the hottest character and you only can say one person!
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