vent blog, mainly used when I’m going through a lot || cw: sensitive subjects & potentially disturbing imagery || main blog: bagel-cant-draw
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haha lonely moment xdddddd rawrrrre x333 god I jusw want validation fucking why bruh why doe s . why is she still here I fucking wish I never met that stupid lying manipulative narc bitch fuck you ava
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please don’t hurt me lawl xd
outer me and half of my consciousness: haha what the fuck are you gonna do littel bitch I’ll fucking!!! kill you if you ftry to go afte me haha fuckign dont lay a fuckif finger on me or him i know where you’re at
inner self and the other half of my consciousness: am I even safe anymore <:-( what if he does hurt the ones I love . what if he fucking goes after me bruh I started all this shit I’m sure he wants me dead
what did I get myself into
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god its so fucking painfully obvious that she has a thing for him bruh like 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐 just . man idfk bruh I wish he could see what we saw😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
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i guess I just have to wait but I wish someone knew what it’s like
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shut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i hate the month of april. and i have a good reason to. april of last year was when me and my boyfriend were horribly affected by skullie to where I was on the brink of wanting to die. It resulted me being an aggressive, spiteful, overly protective freak. I’ve luckily recovered, and she doesn’t affect me as much anymore. but there’s still reason to worry because of all the new drama. i don’t want isaac to be the new skullie. i don’t want ava to be the new skullie. i cant go through that again. I didn’t want all of the trauma to morph me back into who I was in April. I’ve learned how to cope with my emotions in a safe space and that what I did was wrong but I’m still scared I’m gonna slowly slip away from that healthy mentality without even realizing it.
im not entirely sure if I can call the isaac, ava, jubi and skullie thing trauma but I think it counts as it. i had very intrusive thoughts because of of them. there’s this tiny fear in the back of my head that makes me think ava is watching me from an alt but in reality she prolly wants me to get run over with a bulldozer lmao even after all I did for her
but, besides all that, after I drew this I came to the conclusion that even tho they do all hate me, and that they left a huge wound on my mental health, I’m starting to heal that by realizing how many ppl actually care for me. i have a wonderful bf and wonderful friends and fans that notice my efforts and admire what I do. even if I do deprove in art or I’m not the best at it, I won’t stop drawing even if only one person gets to see it. I want to become a more optimistic person and I want to try new things. it’s hard to recover but I think I’ll take one step at a time. I’m hoping to improve my cartoonistry and my furry art.
im hoping to improve myself for the better.
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yuor probably like “”” stfu you never even got abused by isaac” but like man that guy traumatized and hurt my friends so badly you don’t expect me to be upset from that
like he still stalks us n shit he’s. done so much damage to where I’ve had multiple dreams abt him bro
also jubi is just. jubi . she doesn’t need much explaining
iont know my trust issues are getting worsse
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imm sorta hesitant about making a place dedicated to expressing my emotions because of the FlemmySemen/FlemmyGuts account back in april on picsart, but now I’ve learned how to healthily cope my feelings and thoughts instead of just screaming all the time lolol
i think I’m ready to try again. I’m not going to vent on here frequently though because I’m still sorta hesitant but yeaa yeahhhh
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im sorry
ahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahshshhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha SSSSSSSHHHHH SHSHSHS SHHHHHHHHUUT SHSHGSBSUP 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
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WHAT THEFUCK JUST LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE US ALONE
I NEVER WANTED YOU TO BE HERE
WHY THE FUCK CANT YOU MOVE ON GROW UP BE AN ADULT HOLY SHIT
GET OVER YOURSELF STOP THINKING ABOUT US I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE AGAIN WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT YOU
GO THE FUCK AWAY.
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