bagel-bird

[bagel-bird]

went to the pharmacy to pick up my mouse bites and they laughed at me. they had no idea what i was talking about. i need mouse bites to live and they laughed at me

[bagel-bird]

bird up

[bagel-bird]

It’s crazy how in my lifetime I have watched diet culture go from treating butter like it is the devil to acting like chunks of brown butter are a reasonable snack. Can we not be normal about butter? Why is it one or the other?

[bagel-bird]

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

[bagel-bird]

going to the dispensHERy to pick up a feminist strain of sheed to smoke

[bagel-bird]

"I love freaks and weirdos and strange people and people who don't conform and behave oddly because they can't mask all their symptoms and-" you guys genuinely can't even handle it when an anxious person uses a script in a conversation

[bagel-bird]

god forgive me for this... motherlode motherlode motherlode motherlode

[bagel-bird]

If I had to choose a last meal before getting sent to the gallows I would choose all of the worlds suffering so nobody has to hurt anymore

[bagel-bird]

You would not survive a day at my job. I keep thinking about these shambling bags of bones that come in looking for weed. A pair of extremely unhealthy looking 85 year old women came in on walkers a couple months back and one gasped to the other "you want edibles right" and she replied with this awful raspy "KUUUUSH" pause and then "I WANT KUUUUSH"

[bagel-bird]

Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix;  tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

[bagel-bird]

World Population : 7,810,521,683 

just in case somebody start feelin too important

[bagel-bird]

[bagel-bird]

They're right and they should say it!!

[bagel-bird]

im tired of online discourse. look at this family of quails

[bagel-bird]

Lost in the sauce

[bagel-bird]

Over the Garden Wall