baelubbs

[baelubbs]

── 𝑰 𝑫𝑶𝑵'𝑻 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑶 𝑪𝑹𝒀, 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝒀.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐁𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑, the pink ribbon lover knows as 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑𝒉, a faithful eighteen-year-old virgo, benedict bridgerton's soft lover ! 𝜗𝜚 a girl with a messed up bookshelf, a lacy pink night gown..!

❤︎ 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘, here are my guidelines, please take some time to read it, because if you req's something that isn't allowed i'm not going to write it, if you don't like reading something specific this is a heads up for what is in store further down below , either way enjoy !

𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒔: bridgerton.

© bealubbs, 2024. my dearest, where art thou?

[baelubbs]

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒, 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍.𝐁

SUMMARY, you’ve been daphne's best friend since forever, to the point you were considered family toward her family. Though there was always this one boy who you didn’t see as family, simply as your future lover, that was daphne's older brother, a boy your age, a flirtatious boy who you mistook as someone who always jokes around, it was actually the opposite, he meant every word he uttered towards you, a sweet dream indeed.

MASTERLIST, 𝓌ord count, 4.2K

𝒮weet, a nice word Colin would always use to reminisce about his childhood. His love of the wild, the feeling of walking in the gardens alone, and simply enjoying his peaceful days. However, one summer, when he was the age of nine, Daphne waltzed into the house dragging a very clueless girl inside. 

His mother, who greeted the girl asked her what was going on, and you simply replied with a childish smile. You had told her Daphne had spotted you admiring butterflies and tagged along with you, and as the day got later, you thought it would be best to walk the six-year-old girl back home. 

Daphne insisted she should show you her home garden, talking about how multiple gorgeous butterflies passed through there. You had asked Violet if it was okay with her, and she told you it was fine but only to be careful. Colin watched you that day from a window, admiring how connected you were with nature, which he now wanted to be engulfed in. 

“That is a Morpho, a beautiful insect indeed.” You smile at Colin, who is caught off guard when you appear behind him. You crouch right next to him, making him inhale air as he turns nervous. You held out your finger to the insect and let it attach itself to your finger, slowly bringing it to Colin's face. “Pretty isn’t it? It’s quite similar to your eye color!” You smile. 

His eyes looked at you then the bug who crawled around your finger, somewhat sending goosebumps through your body, making you laugh in response. “Are you not afraid?” He muttered, pulling his knees deeper into his chest. You look at him then the bug, chuckle, and nod. “No, I like to admire beautiful things, My father also likes to do the same.” You told him, flickering your finger and making the butterfly fly away. 

“My name is Colin.” He told you, making you look at him again and smile. “I know, Daphne talks a lot about her older brothers.” You stood up, making him hastily stand up again too. “I heard you want to travel the world, correct?” You asked him, and his response was nodding his head furiously. “Then when you can, you must visit me in Italy!” You giggle. 

“You’ve been to Italy?” Colin asked you, and you saw stars in his eyes, making you blush. “I go every summer since my mother’s family lives there.” You grab his hands, making him pipe down. “You and Daphne must visit my home, I have many travel souvenirs from my trips there!” You told him, and he nodded in acceptance. 

Since then he never saw you as family, he always saw you as his first love. 

You, however, fell in love with Colin at first sight. You were studying with your father, who told you some bug facts and let you touch them. Then the sound of horses rang in your ears, and you saw a man and three boys approach your father. “Edmund! How are you, old man?” Your father smiled at him, making the other laugh. 

You looked over to see the man your father was talking to, only for your father to introduce you. “My daughter.” You look up, smiling at the man kindly making him smile towards you. “Ah, my three sons, Anthony, Benedict, and Colin.” He moved out of the way for the two of you to see. 

Your eyes widened as they laid on him, his untamed hair, and his somewhat toothless smile, as he joked with his other brother. You nod your head at them, as they do the same, and say hello, before leaving them to look at the bugs as your father talks to the other man. 

As they depart, you look over to catch him one more time, he was the first one to gallop away. He looked like a prince in your eyes, enchanting and alluring. 

Your childhood with him was a happy memory, but now times are different. You were a young lady who was about to be introduced into society but with terrible news arriving hastily to your estate in London, you couldn’t as your mother was being summoned back to Italy. 

 “Oh, how I wish you could be here for my debut.” Daphne sniffled some tears that made you giggle. “My dear Daphne, do you think I would leave without giving you something?” You bit your lip, not wanting to smile too big. Daphne looked at you in confusion but gasped when a maid handed you a box. 

“Here are your debut shoes, your mother gave me permission to get them for you, as a farewell gift.” You smiled, letting her hold the box and look at the shoes in amazement. She squealed in delight, putting the shoes aside and hugging you. “Oh, I’ll miss you! Three years will be far too long.” 

“Three years?” Violet frowned, hastily putting her teacup down. “What about your debut year, dear?” She asked all Bridgerton sisters to look at you. You sigh and frown “I will have to debut when I'm twenty and three.” You cradle your cheek with your hand, making everyone frown. “We will surely miss you, dearest.” Violet smiled sadly. 

“So will I! I already promised Daphne that I would write to her.” You held her hand, making her smile at you. “My, what is happening?” Anthony called out, breaking the tight atmosphere as he, Benedict, and Colin walked into the drawing room. “Miss Sinclair will be leaving us for three years.” Violet frowned at the news once again. 

Colin's eyes widen as he looks over towards you, only to see your face forming a frown. “Whatever for?” Colin asked, making you look at him. “My mother has affairs to attend to since my grandfather is somewhat ill.” You place down your teacup.

“Do not worry, It’ll just be for three years, I will come back, hopefully.” You smile at them, making them express how they will miss you once again. When it was about time to leave, Hyacinth begged you to bring her something back from Italy, to which you nodded to reassure her you would. 

“Now Hycinth, why don’t you let me walk her down?” Colin grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his arm, making you jump in surprise. As you two leave the drawing room, you look up towards him, smiling kindly. “I will write to you.” You told him, making him look down towards you. “I will miss you, perhaps I will visit you if I were to start my tour.” He smiled, making you laugh. You pull him into a vacant room, pulling out a wrapped gift just for him. 

“I did not want to give you this in front of your family, since I did not bring gifts for them, just you and Daphne.” You hand him the wrapped gift, making him look at you. You both heard your name being called out by a maid, meaning your carriage was ready. You told yourself ‘now or never’ as you did, you stood on your tippy toes and landed a kiss on Colin's cheek. “Goodbye, Colin.” 

He stood utterly shocked as you left the room, making your way out with a flushed face. Colin felt like a boy who had just gotten a new toy when he ran upstairs towards his room. He breathed in and out while looking at the wrapped gift, he panted as he tore it open. 

A journal? He hesitated as he undid the tie around it, watching as a note fell from it. 

‘Dear Colin, I gift you this journal to write in if you were to start your tour, to express your feelings when I am not there or when you are struggling. A journal for only your eyes. – sincerely, your girl.’ 

The room had simply gotten too hot to be in, as Colin rested in his bed and read over and over your handwriting. He groaned at the thought of your lips on his cheek, a moment he had been waiting for, and when it had finally happened, you were gone—three years of pure torture. 

He never got the opportunity to visit you in Italy when he had embarked on his journey. His tour never crossed paths in Italy, therefore he wrote to you, about how the world was different, the way of life was different, and how he wished for you to see it. When his letter got your sweet responses he would dream of you, how you would whisper the words you wrote into his ears, the texture of your lips on his neck, sweet torture. 

Three years, everything would change. He would change, and so would you. He turned into a man, a man who was no longer seen as a young boy, and you were no longer a young lady, you were a mature lady, who had seen her fair share of society. 

When the news got out that you had returned to London, Colin was bordering the next ship to go back home as soon as possible. He just groaned in annoyance as he arrived on the day of Francesca's debut, as well as yours. He just wished to see you before the event. 

He followed his family to the presentation, waiting anxiously as they called debutante after debutante. “Will you finally make a move on her?” Daphne leaned over towards Colin, making him raise a brow towards her. 

Daphne looked at him, giving him a look. “You will make her our new sister, right?” Hyacinth butted in, making him look at all three of his sisters. “You should hurry up if you are, I feel this season will be different.” Daphne smiled at him, before turning over towards Francesca who rose from her curtsy at the queen, leaving quickly as she came.

“Miss Sinclair, presented by her Mother, Duchess of York, Lady Amelia Sinclair–Bianchi.” 

Colin felt his airways clog up as he watched you gracefully present yourself to the queen, a gated beauty now being unlocked to the public. He hated the fact you caught the attention of the queen, you might have been announced the Diamond of the season until he saw the queen just smile and wave you off. 

You looked rather mature now, your posture was straight and your smile was now on display to the Ton who faced you with curiosity. He let his eyes wander your covered body, he shouldn’t, but he didn’t take his eyes off of you for a second. 

“The clock is ticking brother, it is now or never,” Daphne whispered into his ear, making him swallow at the thought of confessing to you. She was right, now or never. 

“Miss Sinclair, Ma’am.” A valet called out to the family who was in the drawing room, making everyone cheer up. It had been a few days after the presentation, and since you were preoccupied with potential suitors, you hadn’t gotten the chance to visit the family. 

Colin fixed his posture on the sofa, making everyone tease him. “Good day!” You’re cheerful attitude was brought into the blue room, making every family member cheer when you showed up. “Dear, good to see you!” Violet stood up and hugged you, making you giggle. 

“It’s good to see you all, it’s been a long time hasn't it?” You leave the hug to study the faces in the room, but you can’t recognize two. “Ah, you must Simon? Daphne has mentioned you in her letters!” You place a bag on the floor, offering a hand to the man who took it politely. “You must be her dearest friends is that so?” Simon smiled as you nodded furiously. 

You turn over towards the other figure in the room, making your smile widen more. “You must be Kate!” You rush in to hug her, making her stumble a bit back. “Sorry, It’s a pleasure to meet the person who captured Anthony’s heart!” You apologize quickly, making the new Viscountess laugh. 

“The pleasure is mine, I’ve heard nothing but good things about you.” Kate smiled, and the thought of her clumsy sister came to mind, seeing you made her smile warmly. “Again sorry I couldn’t attend your weddings, Italy has been a bit troublesome.” You look at every face in the room, they have nothing but questions. 

“Oh my!” You tumbled a bit when Hycinth and Gregory hugged you tight, making the rest laugh. “My have you two grown!” You smiled as the two started to bicker about who grew taller, but you interrupted them with a cough. “Neither the less, I come bearing gifts!” 

You laugh as the youngsters sit down, giving the floor to you. “I suppose I’ll go from oldest to youngest.” You mutter as the first two sons cheer, making the younger ones groan. “Violet.” You start, by making the oldest groan, making the others laugh at their behavior. “A pearl necklace.” You handed it to her, making her gasp at its beauty, standing up to kiss your cheek. 

“For Anthony, An Italian-style quill.” You take out of the bag and handed it out for him to study. “Italian brandy for Simon.” You handed the man, making him utterly speechless. 

“Daphne wasn’t particular in her letter about what you liked, so I took a wild guess, I hope you like it.” You explained, making him reassure you it was adequate. “Benedict, I heard you were no longer into paintings but had already purchased it, I hope it makes you want to paint again, Italian paint oils, for you.” You handed him, making him look at the paint, then giving you a small smile.

“To match with Anthony, Kate, I got you an Italian-style quill in purple.” You handed her, making her gasp and hug you. “Colin.” He looked at you, making him sit still as he took in your tone. “I got you, Italian maps and a new journal.” You handed him, making you smile as his blue eyes met yours, smiling at you. 

“Daphne, a perfume set to match with Hyacinth, a rather popular book series in italy for dear Eloise, An Italian music sheet for Franny, and a Bow and arrows for Gregory.” You wrap up, watching as the four squeal at their gifts, making you smile. As you sit back down, right next to the brunette, watching as everyone interacts with their gifts.

“Thank you for the gifts,” Colin whispers into your ear, making you burn up. “Of course, but I will say I must need something in return for yours.” You tease him. 

He was now looking at you directly, making you smile. “What would that be?” He asked raising a brow, making you tap your chin, acting as if you were thinking about it. “Perhaps you can let me read a page or two of your journal?” You ask of him, making him still. 

Colin’s mind wandered to the many things he wrote inside his journal, to the late-night adventurous, then to the thoughts of you, dear little you. He opened his mouth, about to answer until his brother interrupted. “Well, let’s head to dinner everyone.” Anthony stood up, guiding his wife to follow him. 

You two watched as everyone spilled out of the drawing room, leaving you and Colin to be the last ones in the room. You took a glance towards him, breath hitching as you saw him already staring. “Would you care to accompany me to a late evening stroll after dinner?” Colin smiled, that smile, the one that made you want to melt. “How could I decline.” You smile, walking downstairs with him. 

During dinner, Colin noticed how much he missed you. How you brought the mood up by answering questions, making light jokes, and playing with the younger ones. Simon and Kate had taken a liking to you, making you blush. He saw his mother laugh at something you said, a laugh so childish. 

Everyone seemed at ease, forgetting the hardships they fought last season. A feeling he had missed dearly while at sea, missing you. As everyone departed from dinner, you and Colin walked through his outdoor garden. “You’ve been to three cities in three months?!” You gasp, making you look at him, him laughing at your face. “What like it’s hard!” 

“It is unless they were all next to each other!” You whack his bicep, gasping at how firm it was. “My goodness, Colin!” You release your arm out of his, making him laugh. “Last time I saw you, you were still bones!” You knocked him over a bit, but it didn’t affect him at all. “Your style too! Who changed you!” You giggled. 

“Paris changed me a bit, why? You don’t like it?” He told you, the last bit catching you off guard. He looked at you for your response. You take your time studying him, you can’t deny it, he did look good. “I do, it makes you look more mature.” You huff, walking away from him. 

He walked right behind you, trying to catch up to you. “Seems like Italy changed you too, you look pretty.” Colin grabbed your hand and brought the back of it to kiss. You watched as he kissed it, bending down to your height to do so. “You jest around too much, Colin.” Colin heard you say so and could feel your hand trembling as he did so, making him smile. “Look! A Dandelion!” You snatch your hand away, marching where you saw the plant. 

He watched as you bent down to pick some, he noticed you two were quite far from the house. There you stood in front of a miniature field of Dandelions. Colin looked at you as you picked some up but they blew away before you got a chance to blow on it. “Hurry Colin!” You looked at him with such joy in your eyes, that his heart couldn’t take it. When you look at him, he has never felt so alive and free, only something he could muster up by being with you. 

You giggled as you walked back towards Colin, offering him a dandelion. “I could never find one of these in Italy, how I missed them.” You smiled at him, making him quiet up. 

“Let’s make a wish!” You told him, bringing his hand up to yours. He could only watch as you counted to three, making him lean in and blow on it the same time you did. He wished for many things, such as courage and luck. 

He wished for you, he wished you could be his, he wished he gained your father's blessing to marry you. If one thing came true, he would wish on every dandelion here if it meant he would get you. As he opened his eyes, he only saw you. 

You smiled as you could see his blue eyes, making you laugh. “What did you wish for?” You asked but then bit back. “Wait! Don’t tell me or it won’t come true!” You said but kept rambling on about the rules of wishing. He stayed quiet, he only looked at you with desire. Not daring to break the gap between you two. “Colin?” He felt his heart palpitate as you usher his name quietly. 

“I wished for you.” He whispered, making you quiet up. “I can’t hold these feelings in anymore, dear.” His tone made you only focus on him, his words felt sweet as a dream, was it a dream? 

“Colin, what are you talking about?” You murmured as you wanted more information. “I love you, very very much.” He brought your hands to his lips, hiding his face in them after. “I’ve loved you since we were nine, when you compared me to a Morpho.” You just looked at him as he rambled on. 

“I wanted to visit you in Italy, and to propose to you immediately, but then Anthony stopped me, telling me to wait until you were introduced into society.” Colin went on. “Then when I saw you in your white ball gown, when I saw you dolled up, I wanted you.” 

“I couldn’t bear the thought of you being with someone else, I would be a fool to not take the chance now, so here I am, begging you to give me a chance.” He begged. “I want to cherish you, love you, grow old with you, please allow me to do so.” 

You looked at him in shock, tears brimming your water line. “You’re not joking with me, right?” You sob, blinking as you let the tears float down. “This isn’t a dream, right?” You crouch down. Colin watched as you sobbed, confused but followed you. “This isn’t a dream and I’m not joking.” Colin wiped the tears away, cradling your cheek gently. 

“Why would I joke about that?” He asked you, making you sniffle and reply. “I always thought you were joking around with me.” You wipe your tears away. “I would never!” 

“I love you till the day that I die!” Colin grabbed your hands, declaring how much you mean to him. You watched as he defended himself from your silly little statement. You giggled, making him stop. “You’re still the same after all.” You watch as he becomes confused. “You’re still the childish and sensitive Colin I know.” You smile as you watch him groan in his hands.

“I love you too, Colin, ever since we were children I wanted to marry you, you were my prince charming.” You say, making him still as a rock. Colin hugged you, effortlessly picking you up into the air, making you shriek. “Is that a yes?” Colin asked you hurriedly, making you raise a brow. “To marry you?” 

Colin nodded hastily, he pulled something out of his waistcoat pocket. A ring was presented to you, making you look at him in awe. “I would love to marry you, Colin!” You exclaim happily, not being able to contain your happiness you jump into his arms. 

He spun you around in delight. As he placed you down again, he gently placed the ring on your finger, making you lightly sob again. You two laugh and giggle as he offers his handkerchief, and as you walk back into the house, a valet tells you that your family has arrived to pick you up. 

“A good way to break the news, no?” Colin smiled as he looked down towards you, you laughed and nodded in agreement. As you walked into the drawing room, you couldn’t help but tear up again, making your parents worry. 

You and Colin looked at each other and nodded, he declared that you two were engaged and you just watched as everyone reacted. Daphne was the first one to cheer, happily approving of this union as she hugged you tightly. “Finally!” She jumped happily hugging her brother next. 

The whole moment felt like a sweet dream, you were scared it was all an Illusion. 

Then everything went black, the sweet moment torn away from you as you fell into an abyss. “Dear?” A faint voice called out, making you groan. “Dear.” It called out again, making you open your eyes, as you were vision was flooded with a blue-colored ceiling. 

“Finally you awoke.” A warm voice called out, making you hum and turn to see who was speaking. Colin, it was Colin who was leaving a trail of kisses on your collarbone, to your cheek. You look around you to see your surroundings, a room mixed with baby blues and baby purples, your nightgown flung on a chair as well as Colin's nightshirt next to it. 

Then returning to reality, you sighed as you two were cuddled in your warm bed, melting back into his embrace. “What happened?” He asked as he snuggled closer into you, making you scrunch up. “I had a dream.” You spoke out, he hummed out making you aware he was listening. You brought your hand up to your face to scratch your nose, only to see your wedding ring on your finger. 

“I had a dream about when you declared your love for me, and when you told me to marry you.” You told him, shuffling around to look at him in the eyes, his blue eyes meeting yours.

“You still remember that day clear as day?” He smiled at you, making you smile as well. “Word to word, every single thing.” You kiss his nose as he turns a flustered color. “Impeccable remembrance my wife has.” Colin drags you into his chest as you two stay in bed for a little longer. 

“How could I forget it? One of the happiest days of my life.” You mumble onto his chest as he sends a vibration of his laugh down to your ear. “One of mine as well.” He agreed. 

After a pinch of silence, you spoke again. “It was a sweet dream.” You snuggled into his warmth, wanting nothing more to melt into him. Colin allowed you to do so, whispering sweet words into your ear making your naked body heat up with warmth. Then after a slight moment to yourselves, a squeal ran across the hall to your door. “Mummy!” A little one called out right after. 

[baelubbs]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊, 𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐘 𝐁.

SUMMARY, you’ve had made peace with yourself knowing that you’d be a spinster for the rest of your life, so that you could take care of your little sibling, such as because they see you as their mother. Who would have thought just because you tagged along with your twin brother to an invited vacation, you’d meet your future husband who suffered the same responsibility?

MASTERLIST , 𝓌ord count, 6.6K

𝒞andles were the main light source to guide you through the dark halls of your home when your younger brothers had nightmares. Your hand was rather larger than theirs, but you still let their tiny fingers lead you to their room. Speaking about how in their nightmare it was a night roaring with thunder and you and your twin brother were nowhere to be seen.  

You hush them to sleep, raking your fingers through their hair and letting their unconscious body cling to yours. While tucking them in again, you hear the door open slightly. “A nightmare?” Oliver spoke out, making you soften your gaze on him. “It is like they were there when Mother died.” You sigh as you ruffle one of the twin's hair. 

“They are haunted by the night they were born.” You frown, simply because this wasn’t the first they came crying into your room about the horrid dream they had. Oliver seemed to sense your stress and took you away from the twin's room. “We simply can’t do anything about it sister, but try to raise them differently.” He sighed. 

It had been years since your mother's death, and you took the responsibility to take care of your younger brothers. Her cause of death was because of them, having no choice but to be cut open and die bleeding while hugging her causes. Your mother huffed as she gave you her final orders as a mother before dying. 

Her death was heartbreaking and the one who took it to heart was your father. He died a week after from a broken heart, leaving your brother to be the new lord of the family, and you the lady of the house until your brother married. 

You were presented to society as requested by your aunt, but when no suitors understood your desire to raise your brothers, you simply didn’t marry. You were a spinster to society and a mother figure to your siblings. 

“I don’t know Oliver, I hate seeing them suffer.” You walk into his study and sit yourself down, him following your actions. “You seem to grow the senses of a mother, sister.” Oliver smiled and sighed until he remembered something from earlier today. “I’ve received an invitation from one of my old friends, they invited us to their countryside home, where they will host a ball soon.” He looked over, catching how this took all of your attention. 

“It would be nice, you and the boys would love some vacation, especially you since you're the one who needs it the most.” You stood up and smiled, taking your shawl and covering yourself once again walking straight to the door. “So it’s a yes?” Oliver asked making you laugh lightly and then nodding. “Of course Oliver, who am I to deny you of relaxation?” 

He laughed lightly before watching you walk away to finally sleep, and he returned to his desk to do his duties. 

You’ve noticed it had been quite some time since you were in the countryside, and seeing Aubrey Hall was quite astonishing when you first saw it. Thomas and Richard bounced excitedly when they saw the house, blabbering about how it was gorgeous and humongous. “You must act like gentlemen while you are here, well-mannered and respectful.” You told them watching as they nodded furiously and repeated ‘Yes big sister!’ over and over. 

When the carriage stopped you saw the Bridgerton family spill out of the front door, lining up to greet your family. Once you stepped out someone called your last name out, making you look up to see an older man smiling at your brother. “Clarke!” 

“Bridgerton!” Your brother smiled and shook the man's hand, then hugged for a second before he introduced his family. “Dear friend, I’m quite hurt you wouldn’t invite me to your wedding nor tell me you had a family..” Anthony spoke, making you laugh at the face Oliver made. “My Lord, you’re mistaken, I’m Oliver's sister, and these are our siblings Thomas and Richard.”  You smile at his bewildered face. 

“My Apologies.” Anthony ducked his head, making you chuckle and dismay the mistake. “Please do join us for tea!” Violet smiled at the four of you, gladly being invited in. 

You were astonished by their home, it seemed like a wonderful place to grow up in. The tea room was more beautiful as you sat with Oliver on one of the sofas. “Mother, can we go out and play in the garden with Thomas and Richard?” You learned that the youngest Bridgerton siblings were Hycinth and Gregory, somewhat the same age as Thomas and Richard. “Of course, if it all right with their older siblings.” Violet looked over for your permission. 

“Sister, can we? Please!” Richard came up to you, right behind him was Thomas talking to Hycinth. You look over to Oliver, and he nods and allows it. “You may, but don’t cause trouble!” You spoke, and automatically they thanked you and promised nothing but good deeds. 

Violet smiles at your motherly aura, making you smile back at her when you catch her staring. The moment was wonderful and not long after dinner was being served, that was when you separated yourself to find your little siblings. A servant leading you outside to them, you were about to call out to them until a voice behind you did it for you. “Everyone, time for dinner!”

You looked behind your shoulder to find Anthony behind you, he instantly looked at you. “Thank you, My Lord.” You bowed your head, you were about to leave until he spoke.  “I hope you do forgive me about earlier.” He said, you raised an eyebrow a bit confused. “About what My lord?” You asked before turning your head and looking for Richard and Thomas, they were running straight at you. “About me mistaking you for Oliver's wife,” Anthony confessed. 

You smiled softly before yelling at the boys not to run inside, again turning over towards him. “Don’t worry about it, My lord.” You laugh lightly before you watch him offer his arm, making you confused once again. “Allow me to show you where dinner is held..” He smiled, and you once again smiled out of kindness, before taking his hand. 

You flinch awake when you feel someone slip under your bedsheet, making you peek your eyes open. Only to find Thomas sniffling his tears, making you well aware of what was happening. Thomas was always the most sensitive one out of the twins, he was a soft boy who was very kind. “Thomas, what happened?” You whisper, caressing your hand on his cheek, wiping his tears away. 

“I had a nightmare again.” He sniffled, he was visibly shaken up. His night clothes were crinkled, his hair was ruffled and some parts were drenched in sweat. His blue eyes were puffed and his nose was snotty, making your heartache. 

You turn over in your bed and light up the side candle on your night table, the dim light making everything around it glow a soft light. You push the duvets and blankets away and put on your slippers, walking inside the bathroom to the side of it. Thomas sat up and grew shy, were you mad at him?

“C’mere Thomas, we don’t want you going to bed all sweaty.” You came back in the room with a damp towel, rubbing it along his hair, trying to clean up the sweat off his hair and neck. “Lay down.” You told him before going into the bathroom again. When you came back, the towel was damp again but this time you placed it around his face, hoping the cold towel would calm him down. 

You sit beside him on the bed, pulling your knees towards you. “What was your nightmare about?” You asked softly when you uttered those words, you could feel him tense around you. “You can talk to me when you’re ready if it’s too hard, for now, we can just be in each other presence.” You run your fingers in his hair, feeling him ease up. 

After a few minutes he talked, but his words trembled like he was about to say something wrong but spoke. “I saw Mother, in my dream.” He said, just now leaning a bit more into your side. “She was with Papa, and you. She was cradling you in her arms, saying how you were doing a good job.” He sniffled, closing his eyes trying to remember again. 

“Then everything sort of started to disappear, she kept saying how it was time for you to join them, and she disappeared again and left you crying.” Tears swelled in his eyes, trembling. “Do you miss Mother and Father, sister?” He looked up at you, making you bite your tongue, not wanting to cry in front of him. “Of course I do.” You swallow the sadness down. “Do you hate me for taking them away?”

“Thomas, never say such words.” You spoke calmly at him, making him look away. “You are my brother and I must take care of you–Mother told me it was my final order as a big sister.” You told him. “Everyone is destined to go somewhere they might return from, it was simply their time to go.” You stated. 

“You won’t leave us alone, right sister?” Thomas looked at you, his gaze holding hope and fear. “Never, I’ll be by your side until you are big enough not to need me all the time.” You smiled at his foolish question. “I think, I’ll always need you here with me sister.” He murmured, finally closing his eyes. 

As he falls asleep in your bed, you can’t help but sigh.  

Candles were the main light source to guide you through the dark halls of the Bridgerton house, taking a peek inside your brother's guest room. Only to find the bed still neatly made, so you wandered around until you heard soft laughter in the Billard room. You peek in, seeing your Brother playing pool with Anthony. Colin and Benedict drinking on the side, chatting between themselves, and drowning in smoke.

Your soft knock on the door startles them, making their eyes stare at the door. “Sister?” Oliver looked at you confused. You smiled nervously before talking “Sorry to interrupt but I need your help.” You say. “What with?” He asked, more confused than the first. “It is Thomas.” With that, your brother is hastily walking towards you. 

“He had another nightmare, he is drenched in sweat.” You whispered at him, eyeing him and the Bridgerton brothers who stood quite confused. “Did something happen, should I send for a doctor?” Anthony was the first to speak out. You and Oliver looked at each other and communicated with your eyes. 

“No, our brother is simply hogging my bed.” You smiled softly at him, before pulling your brother's sleeve. “Again, sorry to interrupt, have a good night gentleman.” You bow your head down, before walking out of the room. “I’ll be right back.” Oliver excused himself. 

After you left, the band of brothers looked at each other “What do you think that was about?” Benedict asked, making Colin think. “Perhaps the boy simply has an attachment issue?” The two brothers keep talking but the elder one is still glancing at the place where you stood. He knew the look you gave to your brother meant something, something he knew about. 

It was simply the same look his mother gave him when she needed to carry the young ones to bed because she alone couldn’t pick them up. As he stood there in thought, he started to think more. You were similar to his mother, giving the same comfort around other people. You gave those boys so much motherly love, just like his mother did with him and his brothers. 

“Perhaps she is just a mother figure to those boys.” Anthony simply said, taking a sip of his liquor. Benedict and Colin brushed him off and continued talking, they wouldn’t get it anyway. A figure will always recognize another. 

The sun playfully peaked through the blue curtains, making your eyes flutter open slowly. You hum as you let your body wake up, stretching to each corner of your guest bed. You felt amazing like you just gotten the best rest of your life, instantly placing you in a good mood. 

You have gotten yourself ready for today, wearing a light purple dress and placing your hair down, showing off its length. You smiled at the thought of having a peaceful morning in this gorgeous country home, simply sitting near the garden, enjoying the morning breeze and a book. 

You slip out of your room and walk downstairs. 

Anthony flinched, hearing floorboards creaking in his home. He could feel the house become alive but could hear someone speak to others. He wondered who it could be since he was usually the first one up. He sighed and shuffled out of his bedsheets, peaking out of his view of the backyard, only to see you sitting with a book in your hand. 

He wondered what you were doing, he could only slowly start waking up while looking at you. Should he join you for tea? He asked himself, before making his mind up and doing so. 

He slowly shuffled out of his trousers and slipped into his clothes of the day, then walked out of his room. The morning staff greeted him, and he then ordered him to bring tea outside where you were, they quickly did what they were ordered to do. 

You got startled when a soft ‘good morning.’ spoke out towards you, making you look behind and see who was responsible. “Ah, Good morning, My lord.” You smiled while standing up, and curtsying towards him. “Please, May I join you?” Anthony smiled, gesturing to the free seat, in which you nodded. 

“How was your night? Was everything to your liking?” He asked, making you place a bookmark on your book. “Everything was perfect, you shouldn’t worry.” You smiled, noticing a maid coming up and serving tea. “If you don’t mind me asking, was everything alright yesterday night?” Anthony questioned. 

You looked at him as you were going in to sip tea, and you placed it down softly. “Thomas is a compassionate boy, he gets scared easily, and he has recurring nightmares.” You tell him, catching how worried he looks. “He sneaks into my room, simply seeking comfort.” After that, you take a sip out of your tea. 

Anthony nodded, he could only think of how many times he had to help his Mother with Hycinth and Eloise, and sometimes Daphne. “Seems like our duty as older siblings.” He said with a soft smile, making you look at him. “How are your siblings? Are they well-behaved, or perhaps chaotic?” You smiled when he sat up in his chair. 

“They are way different from yours, they are bipolar, and they switch moods mostly all the time.” He smiles, bringing his teacup up to his lips. “Especially Hycinth and Gregory, those two are always at it.” He sighed into the cup before sipping his tea. “Richard and Thomas are sweet boys, they don’t like causing trouble.” You laughed at the thought. 

“Miss Clarke, I find it honorable what you are doing.” Anthony smiled softly at you, making you tilt your head. “Of what, My lord?” Your eyes glued right at his, trying to study his expression. When you get the idea of what he is saying, you place your teacup down. “My Lord, It is simply our duty as older siblings.” You smile softly. “We must provide our younger siblings with emotional and physical security.” 

His breath hitched as he looked at you. You had worded his thoughts perfectly like you knew what he was thinking. “Morning.” You both turn over to see Benedict stretching as Colin and Oliver come downstairs, and you simply smile at the three. “Morning gentlemen, I hope after all the fun you had yesterday night you rested well.” Benedict nodded happily, thanking you and sitting right next to you, popping a light biscuit in his mouth. 

“Do not worry Sister, after I won a game of pool against Colin, we simply went to sleep.” Oliver ruffled your hair, and in return, you smiled at him. “Yes, do not worry Miss Clarke, after your brother finally won a game against me, he quickly retreated to bed.” Colin corrected Oliver, making you giggle. Amid your conversation with the other three, Anthony kept looking at you quietly. 

How was it that you clicked so easily with his siblings? You were at most a natural when it came to socializing with others, easily joining the conversation you were immediately included in. You did your duty as the Lady of the house quite easily, while you helped your brother with paperwork and money problems. You were about everything he was trying to be or be with. 

“Breakfast is ready, My lord.” A maid called out, making him snap out of his thoughts. “Shall we?” He smiled and walked inside, making the rest walk inside. As he walked into the main area, he could see the boys running toward you and your brother. “Brother, Sister! Good morning.” Richard jumped into Oliver's hands, while the boy ruffled his hair. Thomas on the other hand grabbed your hand and smiled, making you caress his cheek. 

During breakfast, out of the corner of his eye. He could see you acting motherly towards them, making him intrigued, and have some questions. 

Then again during tea time, you were sowing back up one of Richard's handkerchiefs, touching the fabric up. Richard read out loud with you, while you corrected him on some words. 

His last thought was seeing you play with them, running in the green field in front of Aubrey Hall, right in front of his study, he stretched, needing a break, and as if Benedict heard his wishes, he came into his study. “Brother, do join us for pallmall.” His tilted smile was on full display. 

Anthony walked downstairs to find his whole family waiting, huddling around the rack filled with different colored mallets. He saw you crouched down, holding your finger out towards Thomas and Hycinth whose eyes widened as you told them that the insect on your finger was a butterfly. 

“Sister, will you be joining us?” Oliver asked you, letting the butterfly fly away and making the children run after it. “I’m playing with Thomas and Hycinth! Perhaps another day!” You smiled lightly seeing a pout on your brother's face. 

Anthony felt his hands sweat, just as you uttered those words, a gold ray of the sun landed on your skin. Making him utterly mesmerized by your image, then leaving him clenching his first tightly as you ran towards the children, making the wind an actor as it runs itself through your long hair. 

It shined rightly under the sun, he could’ve mistaken you for a fairy. Benedict pushed him out of his thoughts and ushered him to play the game.

That night Anthony felt strange as he laid in his bed, absolutely devoured by the thought of you. What was going on with him? He was high with the sound of your sweet voice, your smile, and your kindness. He wanted to entangle his finger in your hair, he wanted you to caress his face. 

He groaned, why was this happening to him? Just when he puts love off to the side, his heart starts to throb for someone. Was it wrong as well? You were his friend's younger sister. He huffs as he stands up once again, he shivers at the thought of you running your hands behind him, wrapping them around his waist. Was he mad? Was he insane? He shouldn’t be thinking about you. 

He walked towards his study until he saw a dim light in the library that was connected to his study. “Who is in here?” He spoke out and like his thoughts were heard about someone, you stood still there, like you were deer caught while hunting. “Sorry, am I not supposed to be in here?” You went still, watching as Anthony walked in laughing a bit. “No, Do not worry, you are allowed to be here.” He chuckled as he saw your grip loosed on your shawl. 

“You gave me quite the scare, My lord.” You laughed breathlessly before pushing the book back in its place. You looked at Anthony who kept looking at you, making you nervous. “You have a beautiful library, it puts mine to shame.” You grabbed a book that you recognized easily, sliding it off the shelf.

"It was my late fathers, he took pride in his collection, we say Eloise got that habit from him.” He walked towards you, a good arm's length away, looking down at the book you were holding. 

“Pride and Prejudice?” He smiled, making you nod scanning the book cover. “A lovely love story, both of the characters overcoming pride and prejudice and surrendering to love each other.” You hum out, handing the book to him. “I rather think it’s quite aggravating.” Antony hummed out, looking up to see your reaction. 

“Oh, why do you find it ‘aggravating’?” You asked directly giving him your attention. “It bothers me how much they deny each other, and how she can’t see he’s being a gentleman.” He mutters placing the book back, falling a bit weak in his knees when your eyes examine him. You find it amusing, and to show it you it, you giggle. “Well, it’s romantic when a man is desperate for a woman's love.” You walked away towards the window. 

Anthony watched as you walked away from him, he felt the cold brush his skin where your warmth was. “Ms. Clarke, do you have a husband?” Anthony said, making you look at him surprised. “Sorry, I overstep.” Anthony walked towards the door leading to his study, what was wrong with him? 

“I don’t have a husband.” You chuckled as you saw his shoulders ease, walking his way. “It is rather hard to find one who understands my circumstance.” You expressed your displeasure, making him look at you directly. “It feels like most men have one goal, and that is to expand their lineage. I, however, want to take of the family I already have.” You smiled softly as you stood there an arm's length away...

“After my parents passed, I felt a heavy burden to take care of my three brothers. Oliver might seem like the older one but I’m older by three minutes.” You giggled before sighing heavily. 

“I’ve helped manage our household, managing our finances with Oliver, taught them many activities, helped with their studies, having to be there for the three of them.” You tear up just a little, never being able to dump your feelings. “I’d gladly be their support pillar, and to take care of them.” You smiled. 

“I love my brothers dearly, such as you do for your siblings, but mine are still immature with no guide in their life–I’d rather raise them to be gentlemen and make other young girls happy than to find love, I’ve made peace with it and if someone understood that, I’d gladly treasure them back.” You expressed truthfully. 

Anthony felt like he had overstepped greatly but he couldn’t help but feel for you. Making him look at you with understanding eyes. “How did your parents die?” He asked, regretting how your expression turned into hurt from remembering unpleasant memories. 

“Um, my Mother died during childbirth, having to be cut open to get Thomas out after Richard, she died bleeding while holding him. A week later my Father died of a broken heart, he couldn’t live without my mother.” You blinked some tears away before wiping them away. You both stood there in silence until you spoke again. “How did your father die?” You asked him. 

You could see him close his eyes and exhale heavily “He was stung by a bee.” He looked at you somewhat humbled. “To see my Father who was a great man, be killed by a small creature is humbling.” He sarcastically said before feeling comfortable with you. 

The air took a shift as he saw you studying him more deeply, then looking at him with a gaze that allured him towards you. It seemed like the only thing you two could do was convey feeling through your eyes. He leaned in closer, making you lean in as well. 

“What if I understood you?” You turn over inhaling at how close he was. You looked up at his eyes they looked at you desperately, and you looked down nervously. You flush as you see his chest through his sheer nightshirt. “I fear that I understand you far too well.” You looked so small under him, so flushed, so captivating. 

“What are you saying?” You looked up at him and god did he want to kiss your lips. He cursed himself for looking at you with those thoughts, and it didn’t help when your collarbone was visible, nor the line where your breast started. Your doe eyes looking at him so confused, as your lips parted to speak again. 

This time your mouth was left open as nothing came out of it, making him turn his head over lining your lips with his but not placing them on you. You felt confused, you wanted to set your lips on his but didn’t and it was eating you up alive. Your breath hitched as you felt his hands pull yours forward, it felt like he was pulling your heart making it pound. 

You felt right as he showed you the most vulnerable side of his you've seen, you allowed yourself to brush your lips against his slightly. Allowing him to feel the slight texture of your plum lips, making his breath hitch. You pulled away after gaining a reaction from him. “This isn’t right, I–” You shook your head feeling a heavy feeling in your heart. “Please..” Anthony felt his cold heart begging to be warmed up. 

“I-I shall bid you good night.” You turned away, breath trembling as you pulled your shawl over you tightly. You were glancing at him one more time before leaving the room hastily, feeling the cool air on your flushed skin. 

On your third day in Aubrey Hall, Violet was going to a ball. It was an annual ball apparently, and you were their honorable guests.  You told your brothers that they were to stay put with Hycinth and Gregory since they were still too young to be out during balls. 

Your ladymaid helped you slip on a royal blue dress made of silk that complemented your figure. The dress has beautiful detailing, little flowers that trail to the back of the dress, and a beautiful bow on the back that turns into a nice small train. With a nice halfway-up hairstyle and large curls flowing down, your mother's jewelry was the final touch. 

You thank the ladymaid as she smiles and begins to clean up the space, you leave the room to walk towards your brothers. You knock on his assigned guest room, which was partly shared with your little brothers, just a wall separating them. Richard whipped the door open and smiled big “Sister!” He engulfed you in a tight hug. 

“Richie! What are you doing here?” You laugh as he drags you inside, making Thomas run towards you and hug you as well, “We are helping Oliver get ready!” Thomas butted in before analyzing your dress. “Sister you look beautiful!” Thomas and Richard spit out in unison, making Oliver glance over. 

“I must say, Sister, the color rather suits you better than me,” Oliver muttered as he walked towards you, giving you his carvat indicating he was having trouble putting it on. “Nonsense, it looks fine on you.” You easily put his cravat on, making him huff. “My future sister better knows how to put these on or you’re going to be in lots of trouble.” You giggled as he gave you a look. 

“Are we getting another sister soon?” Richard said excitedly, Thomas right behind him with joyful eyes. “I’ve told you I don’t want to get married this season.”Oliver shrugged on his waistcoat that was matching your dress, butting it up.

“Please I have a feeling you’ll meet your future bride at this ball brother!” You say excitedly, making him pout and look at you. “What about our new brother? Are you going to get married soon?” Oliver asked.

You freeze, and the thought of you and Anthony yesterday night pops up in your mind. Making you flush red and shy, and this didn’t go unnoticed by Oliver. “Sister, have you made a match?” Oliver buttoned up the last of his buttons and rushed to your side. You clear your throat, looking away from the boys who cornered you. “I have not.” You walked away, and suddenly Thomas hugged your legs and Richard your waist, making you stop in your tracks. 

Oliver picked you up making you squeal at the sudden movements, then plopped you down on a chair. “Sister, do you like someone?” Thoma questioned you, making Oliver and Richard eye you. “Why are you asking me that?!” You asked a bit flushed. “We just you to be happy sister.” Richard expressed, making the other two boys nod. You looked at them sincerely, making them continue.

“We want you to be with a husband that will take care of you, just like you took care of us.” Richard told you, “You deserve a happy ending sister, you’ve done so much.” Oliver held a hand towards you, making you stand up. 

“But if I do so, you’ll be alone, I don’t wish for that.” You start to tear up, making the three boys offer you their handkerchiefs, you laugh lightly, and they offer the handkerchiefs you made for them. “We are big boys sister, either way, you won’t leave us forever right? You’ll visit us!” Thomas exclaimed making you breathe out. 

“I don’t think I can leave you all alone.” You told them, making them huff. Oliver finished up getting ready, and you ushered the boys into the nursery where the younger Bridgerton siblings sat. You meet Oliver at the top of the stairs, grabbing his arm as he guides you both to the bottom, where the elder Bridgerton siblings chat amongst themselves. 

Anthony broke his chatter with Daphne who kept talking, looking at you with your astonishment as you walked down the stairs. You two were talking to Benedict and Eloise as they broke apart from their family to speak to you. “Sister! Let me introduce you to our guest.” Anthony smiled as Daphne nodded along. 

“May I introduce you to Lord Clarke and his sister, Ms. Clarke.” Daphne smiled as she saw you crusty and your brother bow. “This is our sister Daphne, Duchess of Hastings.” Making your eyes twinkle. “A pleasure to meet you two, my brother talked about you two, all nice things of course.” She smiled. 

“Your Grace, it is an honor to meet you.” You give her a delighted smile, making her giggle. “Please I have every intention of becoming friends with you, let us walk around?” Daphne offered her hand, making you smile at your brother, and walked away with her. 

“You talked about us?” Oliver looked at Anthony who kept his gaze on you, then broke away to look at him. “Of course, I’m trying to find you a wife.” He told him, making him scoff. “You and my sister are forcing me to find a wife–it is like you two are meant to be with all this pushing.” Oliver walked into the ballroom. 

As the ball began, you walked around talking to some ladies who gladly let you join them. You were quite the social butterfly, making you tired of talking sometimes. You excused yourself, wanting a beverage and looking for your brother. You watched as he flushed over the words of a young lady, making you smile. 

“Brother, enjoy your night?” You butt in, making him look at you. “Ah sister, yes! Let me introduce you two, Miss. Blackwood my sister.” Oliver smiled at the young brunette, not going unnoticed by you. “Hello, a pleasure to meet you.” You smile, making the young girl flush. “Likewise, If you don’t mind me asking, are you twins?” She hid her face behind her fan, making you giggle. “Yes, we are a set of twins,” Oliver confirms. 

“You are most fortunate to have a sibling.” She said, talking about how she had no siblings at the moment. “Are you very fond of children, Miss Blackwood?” You question her and she nods. “I love children! Whenever I’m in the country, I usually play with my cousin's kids.” She smiled.

“Then you might enjoy our other brother's presence!” You told her, making her confused. “Ah you see, just like me and my sister are twins, we also have little twin brothers, their names are Richard and Thoma.” Oliver’s smile grew fond of the thought of them. “Oh, I’d love to meet them.” She giggled. 

Anthony glanced at you every time he heard you laugh, wanting nothing but to walk over there and talk to you. Although this persistent mama denied him of doing so, his mother saw his inpatients. “Anthony! I need to talk to you!” She ushered him away, grabbing his arm in the process. “Dearest why are you making that face?” Violet spoke. 

“You must seem content in front of these guests, and talking about guests why haven’t you asked our guests to dance?” She scolded him before he could talk, making him frown. “Mother I was about to ask Ms. Clarke to dance but I simply got caught up with some people.” He reassured her, making her nod. 

“Where is she?” Violet looked around, making him do so as well. Anthony excused himself with his mother, making his way toward Oliver who was still chatting with Ms. Blackwood. “Oliver, have you seen your sister?”Anthony excused himself for interrupting their conversation. Oliver looked at him a bit confused but replied “She is checking up on Thomas and Richard, I think.” Oliver told him. 

Anthony nodded and walked away, leaving the ball unnoticed and quietly. He walked up the stairs making his way to the nursery. Just as he turned the hallway, you walked out. In your hands a tired Richard, who you struggling to carry, and a very sleepy Thomas.  “Thomas love, please stay awake so we can change you for bed.” You ruffle his hair and readjust Richard on your hip. 

You gasp as you feel someone grab Richard from your arms, and it shocked you when it was The Viscount. “My lord, you don’t have to!” You say as if his action were too much. “Don’t be silly, please let me help you.” Anthony smiled while crouching down to carry Thomas as well. You looked a bit worried, and he smiled reassuring you. 

You both walk to their assigned guest room, and after some pushing and pulling you are finally able to tuck them in with the help of Anthony. You huff, backing up a little right beside Anthony, you looked over towards him and smiled. “Thank you once again, My lord.” You smiled kindly. 

Anthony looked at your adoring lips, making him want nothing but to put his lips on them. “Anthony.” He whispered, making you look up at him once again. “Pardon?” You say, making him instantly repeat himself. “Please, call me Anthony.” He said now facing you directly. “Ms. Clarke, I’ll be honest with you–

I have nothing but respect for you.” He said looking at you sincerely, making you straighten up. “Yesterday night, I meant what I said–I understand you very well.” He expressed, resulting in your breath hitching. “I understand your so felt burden of taking care of your sibling and to be frank, I honestly relate my problems so much to yours,” Anthony whispered lightly, not wanting to wake up the children. 

You looked up at him in amazement, making him open his mouth but no words came out. Your heart was palpitating so hard, that you felt like a character who was about to be confessed to. Anthony straightened his posture, as he cleared his throat. “To be honest, I fell deeply in love with your motherly intuition, I don’t know how to explain it but my heart eases up when you take care of your sibling so easily,” Anthony confessed, making him flush red.

“I must say it made me love you differently now, and– god it’s so unlike me, but I fell in love in just three nights.” He became once again flush in color. 

You too were flushed with red, making you put a hand on your chest, feeling it–actually, it was beating so hard you swear you could hear it. “Anthony, I, well, I don’t know how to feel.” You look at him, then away.

“When my brother accepted the invitation, I thought of them having the necessary time off, I did not come here for my benefit.” You told him. “Though I am happy, I ended up getting something.” As you utter the last syllables of your sentence, Anthony looks at you. 

“W-What I meant, I feel the same way, Anthony, I do hope you can court me the right way, once I get back to Mayfair.” You smiled fondly as you grabbed his arm. Making him nod slowly “It would be an honor to.” Anthony smiled, feeling somewhat relieved that his feelings were reciprocated. 

As the two walk back down, arms linked, the whole Ton looks at the pair in bewilderment. However, Anthony didn’t care, offering his hand to you and a gentle smile. “May I have this dance, Ms. Clarke?” He smiled, making you giggled and accept his advance. “Of course, My lord.” Then the two of you dance the night away.

At the end of the night, you told your brother you retiring to bed, he nodded and you excused yourself. Your heels bore into your heel and you sighed at the sight of your guest room door. As you passed the library that held the memory of you and Anthony, you can’t help but smile. Entering the room with your heels in hand, you wander the bookshelf, ah there it was, Pride and Prejudice. 

You smile at the light conversation you made between Anthony about the book. You place the hardcover book back before walking out the door, only to find the man you had semi-confessed your love to at the end of the hall, this time he was retiring to bed. 

You two smile as you connect once again, this time he walks you to your guest room. That night you had kissed him goodnight on his cheek, making him still as a statue, but quickly snapping out of it as he heard your brother making him wau towards you two. 

The moment felt pure and delightful, you tucked yourself into bed and after tossing and turning, you’d admit, you were far too happy about what just had happened. Tonight felt like a fever dream, and it was something you nor Anthony never wanted to forget. 

Anthony laid in bed as an uttered mess, as his nightshirt was visibly discarded as he laid shirtless. Simply too hot, and was practically melting because of the action you made on him. He would lay there, dragging his fingertips on his cheek. He knew in the morning you would be gone, already on your way home, and he would be mourning, trying to hold on to the memories of your lips. 

God, he is so lovesick. 

So lovesick, he simply started courting you the week you had just come back from Aubrey Hall, with of course the blessing of your three younger brothers.

[baelubbs]

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒, 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐓 𝐁.

SUMMARY, in which you had just confessed your love to benedict and he feels the same, he promised you nothing but the best for you two. if so why is he regretting the thought of marriage and love? but everyone knows he regrets saying such things when you overheard.

MASTERLIST , 𝓌ord count, 3.3k

𝒲hen you were young, you dreamed of marrying a prince. a man who looked kind and handsome, a man with a smile filled with pearly white teeth, a charming smile, an adoring feature you hoped your kids would have ━ and you did.

Your parents had been invited to Aubrey Hall, to celebrate a small party for Daphne's birthday. To be frank, you were mesmerized by Benedict Bridgerton.

The boy had a contagious laugh, a stupid slanted smile, and was decent at pallmall. He had tamed brown hair that shone brighter when the sun hit it at the right angle. He was simply the boy who made your heart pitter-patter when he helped you position the ball right.

From then on, he was the boy you expected to see when you visited Aubrey Hall. You will say that your childhood was more vibrant when you were with him, he was a mischievous boy, always wanting to have fun.

Benedict would always drag you along, making him your best friend. It felt different when you grew up to be a beautiful lady, that boy was now a man. A man you couldn't be that careless around anymore, not if you wanted to get married.

Benedict couldn't understand but he found different ways to play around with you. Sending you flirtatious glares around the ballroom, inviting you to dance, and whispering some things in your ears that made you flush red.

Though you loved it, finding a husband with the boy always at your hip made it rather hard. It seemed to change when you were serious about getting married, making the boy utterly lost for words.

"Darling, why are you ignoring me?" Benedict had snuck up behind you with a cup of champagne and whispered the first bit. You turn around surprised at his appearance. "Benedict, not now please." You huffed, looking at the young man who asked for the next dance.

"Why are you mad?" You could hear it in his voice that he was being playful but you couldn't care less. "Benedict." You gave him a look, making him realize you were up for no joke. "Miss Hawthorn, a dance? " The young gentleman had interrupted your gaze with Benedict, making you snap out of it and smile at him.

While the two of you danced, Benedict just watched. He walked around the room, eyes on you. That was until his gaze was interrupted by his mama catching him. “Mother, I did not see you.” Violet could hear it in his voice that he was beginning to be troubled. “Dearest, what is on your mind?” She ripped her eyes away from him to the dance floor. 

Oh, she knew. She could see you smile at the Lord who had said something funny while you two danced. “Oh, Benedict..” Violet hugged his arm, making him hum and look down at her. “What is it, mother?” Benedict wanted to know what she was thinking about. 

“You know, all of us love her. She’d be a great daughter–in–law.” Violet smiled at her second oldest. Benedict looked at his mother in nothing but bewilderment, was she mad? You were his beloved friend, a friend he wanted to keep close to because, in all sincerity, he would be lost without you. 

“Dearest, I see the way you look at her, your father would call you a fool in love if he were to see it.” Violet tapped his arm before leaving him to dwell in his thoughts. A fool in love? Was he in love with you? His heart was demanding it, and who was he to deny it from it? 

When the dance had finished, he rushed to your side once again. “A dance, Miss Hawthorn?” Benedict avoided your eyes, making you a bit confused. “Of course, Mister Bridgerton.” You were hesitant to grab his hand but reluctantly you gave in as he led you once again to the dance floor. 

Everything felt hot for you, you simply didn’t know why. You had danced with Benedict far too many times, was this time perhaps different? His grip on your waist was a bit tight and his gaze seemed darker. “Benedict, is everything all right?” You whispered just enough for him to hear you. 

You were a whole gap away from him but he felt your lips mere inches away. Benedict could only look at your lips as you kept muttering things to get his attention, were your lips always alluring? They had a beautiful shade of pink that blended with a shade of light red. 

Was it wrong to see you differently now? He always saw you as his best friend, a girl who was still young and fed his artistic desires. Now he felt off, he wanted to plant his lips on you this very instance. “Why are you mad at me?” He asked. 

You just looked at him with bewilderment, had he not gotten the slightest idea why? You sigh and look away, trying to recollect your thoughts, wanting to tell him most adequately. “Benedict, I’m simply trying to seek something.” You say, trying to initiate a thought in him. 

“You’ve lost me,” Benedict asked, confused, making you shut your eyes. “I’m seeking a husband Benedict and if I’m always by your side, it makes it hard–it gives people the wrong idea.” You whispered and somehow he heard you clear as day. 

The dance continued, and his grip on you became tighter each time, and when the song came to an end, he spoke again. “Let them get the wrong idea.” He said, and suddenly the room felt empty. You looked up at him, his gaze changed, and he looked yearningly. He wanted nothing but to keep you right by his side, he didn’t want to share you. He had you first. 

“Please, give me a moment.” You hurriedly walked away, making him instantly keep his eyes on you as you left. 

The air felt heavy, too hot, and suffocating. Benedict had just added fuel to the fire you wanted to put out. Benedict? Oh, Benedict. He made it hard to breathe like he steals the very air you need. How would you talk to him after this, he had made it hard to do so. 

Then a sudden crunch of the gravel made you look behind, and the very man that took too much space of your heart stood before you. “Benedict? Why are you here?” You asked clenching your fan, you were scared. Scared you were going to lose something tonight. 

“I need to speak with you.”He said, looking at you the same moment before. He stepped forward and was just mere inches away from you. He looked down at you deeply, his hand visibly shaking. “Benedict, this doesn’t look right.” You push away, not wanting to cause a scandal. 

“I love you.” The three words tasted rather foreign. It caught you off guard, making you stop in your tracks. 

“Benedict, you don’t know what you're speaking of.” You denied his words, not believing him. “Please don’t play with my feelings like that.” To be honest, you were quite hurt, was this a joke to him? Was your future a joke to him? “I do know what I’m speaking of, trust me, it is the truth.” Benedict's large hand held yours and you could feel them tremble. 

“I’ve been a blind fool for far too long.” His grip didn’t falter once, and suddenly you wanted to listen. Seeing your sudden interest he continued,” I don’t want to lose you to someone else, I want you right by my side–In so many other ways, you’re my best friend, a companion I wish to grow old by.” His blabbering caused him to be deaf to your words, he ignored your eye contact. 

He had pushed his forehead to rest on yours, feeling confident once your touch calmed him. Your breath was caught in your lungs and your eyes stung with tears, you smiled weakly listening to him talk, it was the mere words you dreamt of hearing. “So please please, I beg of you to stay by my side as my lover, as my wife.” He finally opened his eyes, and oh, did his heart turn. 

You were mesmerizing, the candled venue gave you a hue of color, enough to shine your brimming eyes and rosy cheeks. “Oh, Benedict of course I will.” You laughed lightly before nodding hurriedly. Then he did the unimaginable, he kissed your lips. A kiss that felt soft and sweet, that was when you let your tears finally leave your eyes.

The kisses were short and sweet, he loved it. He kept them like that so he could dive it for seconds. You felt his lips kiss every inch of your face, making you flush red. “Be mine right now. Be mine forever, I’ll give you everything you want, just please be mine.” He said in between the airy kisses. “Benedict, I’ve always been yours, ever since you taught me how to play pallmall.” You laughed. 

He laughed along with sincerity in his eyes, before taking you along to break the news to both of your families, who were nothing but happy for you two. 

It had been a mere 2 weeks since his confession, and the Bridgerton house was filled with buzzing attention. Violet and Kate were trying to help you look for a wedding dress, and try to help coordinate this wedding. You were grinning ear to ear, you were marrying your prince soon. 

Although throughout this whole process, you had barely seen your to–be husband. Benedict just left a longing kiss on your mouth ever since the night he promised you marriage. Anthony just said he was busy preparing everything for your wedding, but it still felt off. 

Still, today was your last day in their home since you had to return home to make preparations over there too. You were bidding farewell to the younger ones and Violet, thanking her for letting you stay all this time. She had just smiled and whispered in your ear that you were soon going to be around more often. 

Kate had gone to walk by your side as you looked for Benedict, wanting to wish him good night. You smiled at the thought of him telling you good night as well, and as if he heard your wish, he spoke. “If I’m being honest, I don’t know if this wedding is a good idea.” Those exact words wiped the smile off your face, making you stop in your tracks. 

“Whatever do you mean brother?” Colin asked surprised, making Anthony demand it too. “It’s just I feel like it is still so sudden, I’m a bit lost, ever since I left the academy,” Benedict explained, making the other two rather confused. “I don’t want to drag her into my troubles.” He stated. 

You could feel Kate hold your hand, both of you in shock to step in. “I just feel bad because I’ve ruined her, I shouldn’t have done that.” He spoke out, making your heartbreak. Did that kiss not mean anything? Did those damm words mean nothing? Were his stupid promises filled with nothing but nonsense? It seemed like it. 

Suddenly the tension was cut when a butler called out, “Miss Hawthorn, the carriage is ready.” A gasp could be heard. You suddenly walked away, wanting nothing but to get out of there. You choked back a sob as the three busted out of the room. 

As you leave the house you can hear Benedict call after you. “Darling, don’t leave.” It seemed his passionate monologue had woken up the other bystanders on the sidewalk, now attracted to a new source of drama. 

“Leave me alone, Benedict.” You cried out, wanting nothing but to leave and cry your lungs out. “Please, I’ll marry you someday. You’re utterly perfect for me!” He said wanting nothing but to hold you and tell you it was a huge misunderstanding. 

Someday?

Someday when he felt like a man. 

You got into the carriage just to drown out his pleas, quickly knocking on the roof of the carriage. Making your coachman hastily leave the Bridgertons alone, and Benedict freaking out. 

“Why would you dare utter such words, Benedict?!” Kate had yelled at the man, making him even more guilty of it. “I didn’t mean them in a horrid way!” Benedict tried to defend himself, but his new sister in–law wasn’t having it. “You shouldn’t even speak them!” Kate huffed out visibly getting angry at the stupidity of the Bridgerton men. Anthony walked right beside his wife in an attempt to calm her down, and like the faithful husband he was, he was automatically on her side. 

“Kate is right brother, why utter such words?” Anthony asked, making the second oldest sigh in nervousness. Violet walked right in when the argument became still, she was forced to put the youngest siblings down for bed. “Benedict, answer your brother,” Violet spoke calmly, but Benedict could sense it. She was angry, and he didn’t like to see her mad. 

Everyone in the room looked at him and it made him want to break down and run to you. “I’m scared.” Benedict finally confessed, making everyone rather still. “She’s too good for me, she deserves so much more! I’m so lost, I don’t hold a title like you brother! I’m a disappointment of an artist, I don’t deserve her.” Benedict yelled, enough to leave everyone speechless. 

He pushed his way out and ran to his room, locking himself in, not knowing what to do. Honestly, Benedict regretted everything that vomited out of his mouth. He was a stupid idiot. 

Benedict cried that night, it seemed his perfect plan was crumbling, he wanted nothing but you in his arms. As if someone heard his cries, they knocked on his door. “Benedict, please open the door,” Violet whispered, she felt stupid knowing she didn’t see her boy struggling until now. 

Violet heard shuffling around the other until a little creek was heard, and there was her little boy. Tears streamed down his cheeks and, his nose and eyes were all red. “Have I done something wrong, mother?” He asked softly. Violet could only cry out. “You have done nothing wrong Benedict.” She pushed him further into his room. 

That night Benedict felt like a little boy, his mother running her fingers through his hair. Letting it soothe his mind, they spoke of many things that night. How they would go to your home first thing in the morning to clear this misunderstanding, and how it was okay to be scared. 

He had the right to be scared but he had to realise you were probably even more scared. His mother soothed him to bed speaking of how much you loved him, that everyone in this house could tell so. 

He slept so soundly, he just wished you were there instead of his mother. 

When the time came to depart to your home, Violet rode with him. Giving him nothing but advice on how to approach you. He was a sweating mess, were you truly going to forgive him? 

“Mister Bridgerton.” The sturdy voice of your father sent goosebumps down his skin. “Lord Hawthorn.” Benedict tilted his head down to the older man. “Lady Bridgerton!” Your Mama called out right behind your Father, smiling lightly trying to ease the tension. 

Your mother ushered your father into a separate room, finally turning over to Benedict and Violet. Benedict saw your mother's gaze, it was the same one she’d give him when he got in trouble. To your mother, he was still the young boy who craved your attention. 

“Oh, Benedict.” She hummed, making the boy gaze down like a coward. “She’s in the upstairs drawing room.” She ushered him away, giving him the green light for him to advance. He looked at her surprised, he honestly thought she was going to give him an earful. As he left, she stopped him one more time. “Benedict?” She hummed out, making him look back at her. 

She smiled warmly, a type of smile every mother had. “We love you like a son, we know how worthy you are for her.” She sent him away with a new source of confidence, as she and his mama leave for tea. 

Benedict grew up in your home, just as you did in his. He remembered everything about this house, when you dragged him around, or when you two snuck out in the middle of the night. 

The drawing room held a color of pale pink, with shades that went from light to dark. He’d say it was the color that suited you the best, it clashed with your skin perfectly. His eyes wandered looking for your silhouette. You were sitting with your back turned to him, embroidering something. 

He spoke, but the words failed to make noise. Benedict snuck behind you only to catch a glimpse of what you were doing. You were embroidering his initials down to a handkerchief you were going to gift him the day of your wedding. 

Then out of so much concentration, a small piece of hair fell out of your bun, so like the boy he was, he placed it behind your ear. Finally snapping out of your trance, you jump to see Benedict. He could only wish he could slap himself after seeing your expression, your eyes were puffy and red, and you looked so tired of crying. 

“Benedict?” Your voice was small and quiet, and now did he notice you hid the handkerchief. He fixed his posture slightly, fiddling with his top hat that allowed him to poor out his anxiety. “Can we talk?” His voice mirrored yours, finally able to look into your eyes. You were hesitant but gave in. 

Letting him sit right next to you, you could feel his body tense up as he ‘eases’ down on the sofa. The quietness was eating both of you, it made your heart break all over again. “Did you mean those words?” You asked, looking hesitantly at him. 

“No! No, I regretted them the moment I spoke them.” He abruptly turned over to you, looking right at you with desire. “I’m scared I am not what you deserve..” The moment when those words spilled out of his mouth, you cried out. “Benedict you fool, you’re everything I want.” You pushed out tears. 

“Please let me finish.” He wiped your tears away with his large hands, then slid his fingers to your chin, tilting it up so he could see your eyes. “I’m lost my dear, my art is taking me nowhere.” He uttered, continuing. “I regret violating your innocence, I should’ve married you first.” He wiped your fresh tears again before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Oh Benedict you simpleton.” You spoke out, finally taking his face into your hands. “I’ve loved you since I was of the age of fourteen, loved how you used me for a reference for your paintings, how you called it ‘needing something beautiful to draw’, you had no idea such words made me feel.” Slowly placing kisses on his skin and it growing warm after. 

“Loved how you took care of me when I grew sick, how you’d teach me how to paint even though I was horrible at it.” Placing your lips everywhere. “You have no idea how much I want you, Benedict.– Don’t ever say you’re not worthy of me, because I would choose you no matter what.” With that, you simply place a kiss on his lips. 

Benedict didn’t know how to explain it but something blossomed in his heart at that very moment. His fingers held the side of your face as if you were a rare pink stargazer lily when he kissed your lips, but dare he say they tasted sweeter the first time he kissed you. 

When you two parted, it felt right. “Would you still marry me?” He asked placing his forehead on yours, wanting nothing but hold you until they ripped him off of you. “Yes Benedict, Yes I will.”

[baelubbs]

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 & 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒. ━━ in which i address what will happen in my blog.

please read.

i do take request! sometimes. I mostly started this blog because i have too much regency fic ideas and i just want to put them here so you guys can read them, but I'' try my best to complete them is they are sent!

my ideas and stories are not to be copied!

i'm a very slow writer and sometimes i don't even write at all the whole month, I manage two blogs and sometimes that is draining but I do hope i don't get tired from this blog anytime soon.

before you interact, i usually don't care what age my audience usually is, but I will warn the younger people! my writing is very sexual and somewhat cringe. i don't like people who poke their opinions at me, yes you're allowed to have an opinion but don't spam me with them and want me to change my writing. i don't support hate, no matter what, if you're openly homophobic or racist I will block you.

what I will or will not write.

i will write about, fem!reader, my own oc's, a tad bit of toxicity and unhealthy obsession, age gaps (legal), pregnancy, anything normal.

nsfw, innocent!reader, pussy drunk, kinks (such as) bdsm, roleplay, dacryphilia, voyeurism, breeding, exhibitionism, gagging, impact play, dirty talk, etc. public sex and dom and sub.

fluff, i absolutely love fluff and will write mostly anything about it, love to write lovely and innocent acts or intacamy, or perhaps platonic love?

tropes/ au's, anything innocent as/ love at first sight, overprotective lover, anything (if it doesn't go against what i don't write then feel free to req)!!

will not write. male reader. gn reader. top/extreme dom reader. incest. pedophilia. excessive bodily fluids (piss, scat, period, etc). repetitive suicide attempts. reader with mental illness. eating disorders. pegging. ageplay & regression. cucking. degradation.

© artteristly, 2024. thank you for taking the time to read this!

[baelubbs]

𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐓𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑. ━━━ " the subject to all of my desire.."

₊˚⊹ anthony bridgerton, content:

: lovesick, in which anthony fell in love with a girl who shared the same expectation as him but she pulled through bravely and happily, making him absolutely breathless, they say the sun will always have a speechless admirer.

₊˚⊹ benedict bridgerton, content:

: stargazer lilies, in which benedict beloved had just confessed a few months ago, taking a bit of your innocence in the process but what broke your heart is hearing him confess that he didn't want to get married anytime soon, leaving a massive gap between, what will this artist do without his muse?

₊˚⊹ colin bridgerton, content:

: sweet dream, in which you're daphne's best friend since forever, to the point you were considered family toward her family. Though there was always this one boy who you didn’t see as family, simply as your future lover, that was daphne's older brother, a boy your age, a flirtatious boy who you mistook as someone who always jokes around, it was actually the opposite, he meant every word he uttered towards you, a sweet dream indeed.

© artteristly, 2024. smudge a paper too much and it'll rip.