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Fake it till you make it, Star City Kitchen edition.

Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.

Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.

He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.

He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.

Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.

He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.

Okay.

He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.

It drives to a mansion.

Oh no.

It's Oliver Queen.

Oliver Queen put up that ad.

Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.

Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.

Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.

Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.

If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.

~~~~~~

Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.

Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.

Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.

Except that's a kid.

A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.

And...fuck.

Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.

So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.

Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????

Looks into the kid's background, quietly.

...

And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.

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He only has eyes for the little girl...she is his only world!

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thinking about my dog and how he makes sure i get my daily mental health outings

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Not Superman's clone AU

When Lex took Clark's DNA to make a clone, none of his scientists could make it work.

Failure after failure after failure, until finally one of them went to an old lab they used to work at. It had been falling into ruin, mostly empty due to layoffs. The government agency that had been in charge of it had been long disbanded w/ the meta protections that had been signed into law.

So it was rather easy to get in; no one had bothered to cancel this scientists credentials.

There was a specimen, permanently asleep thanks to layers upon layers of security; the first metahumans ever recorded.

Phantom, Plasmius, and Phantasm.

They took Phantom's DNA, as he looked most like Superman, and snuck it back to Lex's labs, and it worked perfectly.

And thus, Conner was born/made.

Everyone used the altered report that the group of scientists made to say he was Superman's clone.

Until, after the dust has settled and Conner died and came back, he has another DNA test run.

His other donor is not Superman at all.

His other donor's information was under layer upon layer of high tech security, and breaking through them resulted in the American Government making baseless threats against the Justice League.

But with Oracle, Cyborg, and Red Robin's help, he found out who it was.

His real donor/father was deep underground, trapped in a lab, and unable to escape.

He leaks the information to the press, and suddenly everyone knows about the first metahumans and what happened to them. What was still happening to them. How most of the worlds insane advances in technology and medicine was due to human experimentation on them.

Now the American Government is trying to calm down the public, and claiming they had no idea what was going on.

Danny wakes up, disoriented, slumped in the arms of an extremely worried teenager that keeps calling him "dad".

His response, while waking up and confused?

"Alright, don't mind kids anyways. Ellie'll be thrilled."

He really does not expect the teen to burst into tears.

For the purpose of the AU, I was imagining Danny as in his mid thirties before he was tricked by the GIW and trapped.

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kind of love it when people lean into the fact that connor is in fact a highly advanced machine even when he deviates. like when post game fan works (especially regarding him and hank) feature connor doing freaky ass robot shit like mimicking hank’s voice perfectly in an argument between them or calculating the exact number of hairs on sumo and hank just really has to sit there like…what is wrong with this guy…

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happy birthday captain!!

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Another humans and aliens post because im hooked on it still.

Humans are friendly. Really friendly. Theyll make friends with anything that can move. They pack bond like crazy and they seem to understand their emotions better than any other species and tend to be the therapist of the ship.

So, why is it that, on the ships, with more than a couple humans on it, are the ones that have the most fights.

Humans are so friendly, you could probably do just about anything to them and they wouldnt even so much as blink. But one human woke up another human too early one day and they both ended up in the medbay. The worst part is- they were back to being friends again not even a full day cycle later.

There had been another fight between a couple of other humans too, but this fight wasnt physical. It was a screaming match, or atleast thats what the humans called it. This fight wasnt even physical but the humans involved in this one had cried in this one. They did not go back to being friends afterwards. It made no sense- but what made even less sense happened a week later.

A team of humans showed up for a 'debate'. To the aliens understanding- it was a series of arguements over a couple of prepared questions. Every alien on the ship expected there to be more tears and more sadness- but instead the humans cheered on the debate and the people screaming at eachother laughed about it afterwards.

Any alien with enough sentience on the ship that day remembered the fact that despite being as friendly as they were, humans are still very, very unexplored territory.

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"if you're going to eat that rotisserie chicken please do it in an area where none of us can see" you hate me. you hate me because i have different eating habits than you and you want me to STARVE

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Hear me out. Danny is totally fine with people knowing he's phantom. But he is not allowed to reveal the existence of halfas

So logically, the only solution is to say phantom is Danny from the future who died and is now back trying to prevent the tragedy by semi possessing his still living self

It's just convoluted enough to work! Thank you Dan for the time travel related inspiration

To make this dpxdc, phantom gets invited to JL but because he can't tell them he's a halfa, he tells them his current living self needs to be able to join to. JL won't let an untrained child into their rank so instead Phantom gets sent to YJ

Danny is sad he doesn't get to hang out in the watch tower but at least YJ won't ask to many questions once he drops the 'I'm possessing myself' explanation. Batman on the other hand... well he's not around enough to bother answering

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looking for happiness at the bottom of the ocean

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Making friends at the yarn show 🐑🐈

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god forbid 5000 year old girls do anything

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i have recently discovered “incompetent connor” playthroughs and it’s got to be the funniest shit ive ever seen. connor failing miserably at his missions and walking away with the same confident model strut is fucking hilarious.