badpunsandmore

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QPRs are so awkward to form because most of the time its like.. hey have u heard of this type of relationship thats like custom but also dedicated and stuff? no? ok uhh do u want to be in one though? yeah ok? uh i love you, lets play minecraft together tomorrow ok bye

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People are so stupid about snakes. If there's a little black racer chilling outside just leave it alone, you don't have to kill it, it's probably dealing with all your pests for you, jesus christ

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reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something

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it's a meme in Gotham at this point that if you're a dark haired orphan, you're at risk of getting adopted by brucie wayne.

it's also a meme that the man has no idea how many children he actually has. he just looks at a group of dark haired teenagers/ young adults and goes 'ok they must be mine'.

so the batkids film themselves one morning. all sitting calmly at the breakfast table. being normal. except joining them are izzie, donna, kon, anita, jon, maya, maps, and roy in a terrible dark wig.

then bruce stumbles in, in full brucie mode (he's sleep deprived, it's practically the same), muttering good morning to his children. then he freezes, does a sudden frantic back take, and visibly counts how many people are sitting at the table.

the video is uploaded to steph's tiktok account. it gets 10 million views in the first 24 hours.

it also gets memed.

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thinking about that post of people assuming ao3 has an algorithm and also about how bonkers persistent the view is that ao3 is social media lite. like with startling regularity I get comments saying something along the lines of "it's probably weird to comment on a fic this old--" no it isn't!!!! this is an archive I am literally just assuming you searched for a selection of specific tags or sorted by kudos or looked back on my pseud or any other number of completely normal ways to use an archive site ?? kill the tiktok ghost in your brain and comment on old stuff it's NOT weird

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My guilt will not purify me.

(Batgirl 2000 permanently altered my brain chemistry)

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baby bat cass my absolute beloved <3

panel redraw from shadow of the batgirl by sarah kuhn and nicole goux

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looking at damian's parents, it might not be too long before another sibling overtakes you, dickie

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I have a little headcannon that Bruce has gotten so used to people asking about his kids that he just starts sayin shit and genuinely believes what he's saying

Just like

Random Gala attendee: "So Bruce, tell me about your sons! They seem like wonderful young men."

Bruce: "Oh yes, my sweet sweet boys. Seems like yesterday my beautiful baby boy Jason came into this world. All fourteen pounds and seven ounces of him.'

Random Gala attendee: "But didn't you-"

Bruce: "God, it took five hours to push him out. But it was worth it."

Random Gala attendee: "but...didn't you...I thought you..youre not even..how.."

__

Reporter: "So Bruce! Tell us about your son Tim! Is it true that he dropped out of highschool and is now a shareholder of your company?"

Bruce: "Oh my sweet sweet baby Tim..it feels like it was just yesterday when I held him for the first time..he was so small.."

Reporter: "But..isn't he..weren't you?.."

Bruce: *wipes tear* "My babies are growing up so fast..do you think I'm getting old?"

__

Clark: "So anyways Jon's birthday is tomorrow and I wanted to know if you and the kids wanted to come? He'll be turning twelve so-"

Bruce: "I remember Cassandra's twelfth birthday. They grow up so fast don't you think?"

*Clark who's used to him doing this*: "Yup they sure do bud. So about the party?"

The bat kids think it's soooooooo funny until they witness Bruce looking at pictures reminiscently after patrol

They still kinda think it's funny tho

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I love the fact that Alfred’s preferred method of communication is through food (if he’s mad at you he’ll make your least favourite food, maybe burn it a little on “accident” and if he’s concerned or proud he’ll make a special favourite etc etc) so that got me thinking… Bruce grew up with that way of communication and since brooding is effectively off the table cause hes always brooding, what would be passive aggressive ways he’ll show that he’s pissed off with somebody?

Bruce: *while handing out comm links he hands Tim the one that is most uncomfortable (it’s a tiny bit bigger in size than the others and He Can Feel It)*

Tim: seriously Bruce? You’re still mad about the Batmobile thing?

Bruce: *brooding intensifies*

Bruce: *giving out areas to patrol and gives dick his least favourite part of Gotham*

Dick: BRUCE PLEASE IVE BEEN PATROLLING THAT AREA FOR WEEKS NOW IM SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED OFF YOUR “VERY IMPORTANT” DOCUMENTS OK??

Bruce: I’ll give you another area to patrol when my formerly perfectly kept folder is as NEAT AS IT USED TO BE!

Dick: ONLY ONE PAPER GOT A LITTLE DIRT ON IT AND ITS ALL INTELLIGIBLE!

Bruce: YOU CANT EVEN TELL IF ITS AN UPPERCASE i OR A LOWERCASE L ANYMORE! THATS A SECURITY RISK!

Bruce: *handing out protein bars during a quieter night and gives Jason a slightly smushed one*

Jason: *takes it and sighs dramatically* you know, I slept so deeply yesterday that I thought I came back from the dead again but, well, it came with a little less pain and emotional manipulation so I-

Bruce: *scowling so hard his cowl almost breaks, takes the smushed protein bar from Jason and gives him his own perfect one instead*

Jason: *smiles innocently in Alfred’s favourite*

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See also, "We're in a drought; conserve water!" Meanwhile, bottled water companies and golf courses for rich folk empty the aquifers.

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they need to make a pocket dimension you can hide in where time doesn't pass and everything is soft

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"What would you find if you opened me up?"

"Would you find the goddess the broken pray to?"

Would you find the little girl my father weeps for?

"Would you find the monster that has left weaker men screaming"

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Puppet…

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Exams in pride month is homophobic, aphobic and transphobic. No I will not elaborate.

Happy pride Tumblr

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a funeral for six

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if you're talking to me and we see a wild lizard and i go LIZARD and you get snitty about being interrupted by the lizard, i don't like you so much