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happy friday and nothing else !! 🥰🫶

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

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I have a joke about math but im 2² to say it

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rolling uncanny clark around in my head again... this being who looks exactly like a human except something is not quite right. he's a little too quiet for his size, eyes a little too bright. his skin is smooth and a little too warm. something's off but you can't quite put your finger on what. he always seems to show up in places where danger is happening, but always on the periphery; when he shows up things always, inexplicably, take a turn for the better. he wears too-big button down shirts and gently worn dad sneakers, and he bought you a hotdog from the food cart that one time you forgot your wallet at lunch rush. he remembers your cat's name. your work bestie swears up and down she saw him talking to batman late one night behind a taco stand in gotham, but batman's also supposed to be an urban legend, so.

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the lovely woman who owned kabosu, the shiba known as doge, should get to take a point blank shot at elon musk with the doohickey that killed shinzo abe

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Daniel Craig as Benoit Blanc GLASS ONION: A KNIVES OUT MYSTERY (2022), dir. Rian Johnson

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Been a really long time since I've watched Daredevil but I do remember coming away from it feeling like it presented a pretty compelling internally-consistent moral justification for the vigilante thing. You're not planet-crackingly powerful, it's just that you can hear, in detail, every awful thing your neighbors are doing to each other, every night that they're doing it. You can't not know and you can't pretend not to know and when the kid tells you the next day that he just fell down the stairs you can't fall back on the provided ambiguity to absolve yourself of your responsibility to act. Semi-relatedly, you're really really good at martial arts. Start the clock

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There's a bunch of comic moments where Clark just flies into space and simply clears his head, contemplates the Earth, full of love for his home. Do you guys reckon NASA has gotten used to that? Do they go "Oh my God, unidentified object circling the EARTH- ah never mind, guys, its Superman again... what? No, he's just drifting now, I think."

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i love how kendrick lamar was like i fucking hate this one dude and the rest of the industry was like fuck man we do too give this guy 5 grammys

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Well well well. How the wheels on the bus have gone round and round

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When her strap game is so good she gets you lizard pregnant

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how to be "that girl" in ✨10✨ easy steps

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So I’ve never actually watched The Princess Bride with closed captioning. All the copies I own/have owned didn’t come with that option. Well, it’s on Disney+ now, and it DOES have captions. I decided to watch it tonight because apparently half of my coworkers haven’t seen it and that made me sad.

AND WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS APPARENTLY MISSING THINGS-

I now know ALL of Fezzik’s rhymes from the boat.

I know exactly what fighting moves Westly and Inigo were saying in that EPIC fight.

I can understand what Fezzik is saying when they break into the castle (I love Andre the Giant, but his accent is so hard for me to decipher)

AND

Apparently I have missed something in the twenty years I’ve been watching this movie. When Inigo is drunk in the Thieves’ Forest, a member of the Brute Squad comes around the corner of the building after Inigo proclaims this is where [he’ll] stay, that he will not be moved.

“Ho, there!” he says.

Now. I always assumed Inigo just repeated the man’s phrase.

Oh no. The closed captions read as follows:

“I do not budge. Keep your Joder.”

Because he’s a Spaniard, in the movie it is pronounced exactly like “Ho, there.”

THAT. IS. NOT. WHAT. THAT. MEANS.

Joder means fuck in Spanish.

So when the guy comes around the corner, I can only assume Inigo’s sloshed brain just heard him shout “fuck” at him, and THAT is how he responded.

NO ONE I KNOW realized this for nearly FORTY YEARS!!!!!

Closed captioning, y’all. It’s not just because you can’t make out what they’re saying. It’s also for recognizing jokes people were slipping into movies and past censors from before you were born.