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babyxsunny · 7 years ago

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Now we’re even.

Summary- Phil loves Dan, Dan knows, but still does the wrong thing anyway.

Genre- Angst (happy ending)

Note- This time I’m going to try harder with my second ever Angst. I got inspired off a comic I read. :)

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Phil laid on his bed staring at the blank ceiling. Dan left a while ago to go get some groceries. Dan usually left home alone. Most of the time.

Phil then hears a door unlocking from the living room. Phil smiled knowing Dan has finally come home. He stood up from his bed, barley reaching the doorway, he hears… another man.

“Dan, you idiot.” He hears the man say with a laugh. Phil realized who it was. It was Noah. Dan’s boyfriend.

Dan had a boyfriend. Phil knew that of course, but he did love Dan. Not just in a friendly oblivious way.

Phil sighs and walks back to his bed and sits. Whenever Dan brought his boyfriend home, Phil would wait 10 minutes before Noah left, so he could see Dan.

Phil sighed deeply again hearing the mumbles of his bestfriend and another man talking and laughing. Phil shook at the terrifying thought and fell backwards, now laying down. He then hears the talking getting closer to his room, and then a door shutting.

‘Oh no..’ Phil thought in his head. Now he was even more worried.

'He wouldn’t do that?? Would he??’ Phil thought again. His unsystemmatic thoughts going around his head. Then only a few minutes later hearing moaning. Loud moaning coming from Dan’s room. It was Dan’s voice.

Phil whiped the tears from his eyes in discomfort and picked up one of his pillows, placing it over his head and ears, trying to block out the horrible sounds trying to enter his ears.

It was hard, it was getting louder and louder. Phil’s hands shook, as he was still holding the pillow over his head and ears waiting for it to stop. Phil then sat up pulling his knees into his chest, putting his head down into them.

This broke Phil’s heart. Badly.

Finally the next morning came around.

Phil was laying in an awkward position on his bed, no blankets on, with the barrier pillow next to his right ear, this his arm still around it tightly.

Phil slowly opens his eyes and let’s out a yawn. Then remembering the events from last night, suddenly he started shaking again. He could feel his eyes watering again. This is not what he wanted. He loves Dan… Or loved…. No…. He still loves Dan, but… Heartbreakingly still tearing him apart like a peice of paper.

Phil rubbed his eyes frequently trying to get his blue eyes dry again. But ended up failing, only leaving himself in a stupid hell-hole. Trying to get out, but not working no matter what he does. His eyes start making a flood of tears. He couldn’t help it.

He cried. Silently. Just in case Dan was there. Phil needed to find out if he was still there. Phil whiped his eyes under his glasses. He then stands up and walks over to his bedroom door. He slowly twists the knob open and walks out, then into the kitchen.

There sits Dan, eating cereal at the counter, scrolling through his phone on Tumblr. Typical.

Dan then turns to Phil with a slight smile. “Mornin’.” Dan says turning back to his food. “Um, hey Dan.” Phil says scratching the back of his neck before walking to the pantry to take out the same bag of cereal that Dan was eating. Phil prepares the cereal and sets it on the counter next to Dan.

Phil sits in front of the bowl. Phil wanted to talk about last night… but his brain his yelling at him to let it go.

'How am I going to–’ interrupting Phil from his thoughts, a buzz hits his phone, that which was sitting on the counter next to his cereal.

“What’s the notification?” Dan asked before taking another bite.

Phil read the message from an unknown number.

“Oh! Alex wants to meet up! That’s awesome!” Phil says with a smile on his face, confusing Dan.

“Who’s Alex?” Dan asked looking at Phil, narrowing his eyebrows slightly.

Phil looked up from his phone to look at Dan. Still with a smile on he said, “An old buddy from upperschool! He was my only friend back then.” Dan stared at him, silent. Phil broke the silence.

“Yeah so, would it be okay if he could come over here?”

'In my house? No way.’ Dan thought. “Sure.” Dan said out loud. Yep, Dan WANTED to say No, but he doesn’t want to make Phil depressed. Little did Dan know, he has already secretly hurt Phil.

“Thanks!” Phil said getting up and pooring out his cereal in the sink then running at a normal pace to his room. Dan sighed.

“Wow, I’ve never seen him in so long. I wonder how he’s doing.” Phil mumbled to himself, looking through his wardrobe for casual clothes. He pulls out a normal blue T-shirt. He threw it on along with some black jeans. Phil grabbed his phone and responded to Alex’s text.

20 minutes then passed. Phil walked out of his room then walked to the living room. He looked to the sofa to see Dan, on his laptop, scrolling. “When is he coming over?” Dan asked, still paying attention to what’s on the screen in front of him.

“Soon. He said 20 minutes and it has been about 20 minutes.” Phil said walking over to the door and patiently standing by it. “Alright.” Dan mumbled, still looking at the laptop screen. Phil noticed this.

'What’s up with him? Shouldn’t I be the one acting like that?’ Phil thought to himself. He shook it off, just as the doorbell rang, alerting them both that Phil’s old best friend has arrived.

Phil put on a smile, then opened the door to see, Alex. He had light brown hair that was a textured and detailed Quiff haircut, Brown eyes, a plaid T-shirt, and some dark blue jeans. Phil greeted.

“Hey, Alex! Long time no see!” Phil said wrapping his arms around the slightly muscular man facing him. Alex did the same. “Heyo, Phil!” He responded with a chuckle.

Dan looked up slightly from his Laptop. Seeing someone else, that wasn’t him, HUG Phil, kind of made a crack in his heart. They let go from the hug and Dan then looks back to the laptop.

“Come in!” Phil offered. Alex walked In, letting Phil close the front door. “I can’t believe we haven’t seen each other ever since we graduated Upperclass!” Phil said with a smile.

“I know. When I saw your profile on Instagram, I couldn’t believe how much your look changed! You have black hair. You also finally cut it!” Alex said laughing. Dan looked up slightly again.

“I basically have your haircut from back then, soo.” Phil joked. “Yep! Similar!” They both laugh again.

Alex’s eyes focus off of Phil and to Dan, who was behind him, still on the sofa. Dan quickly looked back to the screen. Phil noticed.

“Oh, that’s Dan! He is my Flatmate.” Phil said looking to Dan. “Uh.. Yeah. Hi.” Dan said still staring at the laptop. “Oh, Hi Dan! I’m Alex.” Alex said walking over to Dan and putting his hand out.

Dan hesitated before, slowly shaking his hand and quickly letting go. “Okay..” Alex mumbled. “So, I’ve seen you have a YouTube channel.” Alex said happy and upbeat again.

Phil and Alex sat at the counter and talked for a while. Dan hears them laughing, and talking, and joking. This made his heart break.

'Why doesn’t he joke around with Me like that??’ Dan thought. After half an hour, Alex finally had to get to work.

“Oh darn. Gotta start heading to work.” Alex said staring at the time on his wristwatch. “Alright. I can’t believe to work at The mall!” Phil said laughing slightly. “Whatever, youtuber.” Alex joked. Phil chucked. Alex walked out the door and they both waved goodbye. Phil closed the door and stretched his arms.

Dan closed his laptop and set it aside, standing up. “He was so nice! I can’t believe–” Phil notices Dan walking towards him. “What’s up?–” Suddenly, Phil was forcefully pushed against the door, hitting his head on the back of the door shocking him. “Ouch!” Phil said putting his hand on the back of his head, only to put it down, as Dan was pinning him to the door, right in his face.

“What’s your problem?!” Phil asked, seeing the tint of confusion and anger in Dan’s eyes.

“Why the hell would you invite him?!” Dan said angrily, raising his voice. Phil felt confuzzled. “Because you said I could! I asked for your consent!! Why would you care anyway?!” Phil shouted, but still not as loud as Dan’s scratchy voice was raised to.

“But don’t you have a crush on me, Phil?” Dan asked, making his voice slightly quieter. Phil’s heart rumbled, terrified. Phil could only respond with one thing. “W-What??”

Suddenly, but surely, Dan forcefully grabbed Phil’s jaw and pulled him into his lips. Dan was now making out with Phil, but their mouths stayed still. Phil’s eyes were wide open. Phil’s hands tightened onto the front of Dan’s shirt, And Phil used his power to push Dan away. He loved Dan. He has always wanted to kiss him. But this isn’t how he wanted it.

“STOP!!” Phil yelled, continuing to crumple up Dan’s shirt where Phil was tightly holding on, Still keeping him away. “Phil–” Dan was interupted by Phil’s unworthy sobs. “CUT IT OUT! STOP RIGHT NOW!” Phil said raising his voice the loudest he could.

“I thought you loved me. Why would you–” Dan was interrupted again. “Do you ever care about my feelings?!” Phil asked lowering his voice again. Before Dan could answer, Phil spoke again. “Yes Dan, I loved you. As In, used to.” Phil in his head knew that was a stupid lie. He STILL loved Dan. But he said it anyway. Phil used more of his power to completely push Dan away.

Phil sprints to his room and closes and locks the door. Shamefully, slid down his door and started sobbing, pulling his knees to his chest.

What Dan did these last few days, was let Phil fall in a hell-hole, and not help him out as fast as he could. Just let Phil fall, farther and farther. Til he died. Now Phil’s heart… is ruined.

And Dan knew that Phil loved him. Dan didn’t do a thing to confront Phil’s feelings. Though Dan secretly loved him as well. He continued daiting someone else. Thanks, Dan Howell.

Dan looked down at his feet, trying to comprehend what has just happened. Suddenly, his eyes darken, now he is in that same hole.

'What have I done? What made me do that?! Why would I do that?’ Dan thought. “Oh no…” Dan mumbled.

Now he has to save Phil so they can BOTH get out.

Dan then goes back into reality. “Phil!” Dan yelled, but not as loud as before. He ran to Phil’s door and tried to twist the knob. Locked. He could hear Phil’s sorrowful sobs faintly through the door.

He sighed and knocked slowly and gentally. Once Phil heard this, he stopped crying, trying to stay silent. He starts frequently rubbing his watering eyes, as well as his already fallen tears. But his cheeks were still redly stained.

Dan turned around and slid down Phil’s door, now sitting, with his knees to his chest.

“Phil, I know you’re in there. And I’m sorry.” Dan says. No response, but Phil was still listening. “I was just jealous. Jealous at the thought of someone else, with you. But I was overreacting. The only reason I got a boyfriend was so it could distract me from you, Phil. But it didn’t work. I still Love you.

Phil finally spoke. "What about last night?” Phil said quietly. “Last night?” Dan asked. “I know what you were doing with Noah. It broke my heart, Dan. Why would you have sexual intercourse with someone you don’t love?” Phil asked, wrapping his arms around his knees, waiting for an answer.

Dan stayed quiet for a couple seconds. “Oh… I don’t know… I was an idiot and I didn’t care about how you felt at the time. I was stupid. Why didn’t you say anything this morning?” Dan stated, scratching his brown haired head.

“Because I loved you Dan.” Phil responded calmly. They both stayed silent. “Well, I still Love you. Believe it or not. I love your personality, I love your looks, I love your movement, Heck, I love your videos. And I just, got jealous Of some 'hot’ guy coming over to our house, complementing you on the things I could compliment you with, cutely joking with you the way I would–” Dan was interrupted again.

“Well Dan, Now you know how I felt for the past 3 months, whenever your boyfriend came over. Now we are even.” Phil finished off with.

Dan sighed. “Well, I’ll never stop loving you. Remember that. Okay?” No response to that. Dan sighed again and stood up.

Slowly starting to walk to his own room when Suddenly, he hears Phil’s door unlock and open. Before Dan could turn around, Phil is hugging Dan’s back, arms around his torso.

“I love you, Dan.”

He LoveS Dan.

#phanfiction #phan #phandom

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