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[babyblackxprincess]

anne sexton // richard siken// margaret atwood // virginia woolf

[babyblackxprincess]

he is lust. he is sex in the back seat of a car. he is hickies on the beach. he is groping in a movie theater. he is ass grabbing in an empty aisle. he is dirty whispers on the phone. he is pressed thighs and lip biting. he is moaned names. he is trembling and goosebumps. he is breathlessness after a touch. he is frustration and dark eyes. he is insanity and clawing nails. he is the pleas of more. he is the begs of not stopping. he is the fantasies that have your hand between your thighs, wishing it was his mouth instead. he is sex. he is lust. he is a drug. one you’ll take with a scream of pleasure and a whimper for another.

the dangers of dating a boy who knows exactly what he’s doing.  (via tonkinwrites)

[babyblackxprincess]

[photo credit]

[babyblackxprincess]

I’m kind of off the market.

[babyblackxprincess]

[babyblackxprincess]

If you died it would be like my bones had been removed. No one would know why, but I would collapse.

Sarah Kane, from Crave (via wishbzne)

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

Not for the first time, Regulus was confused by the words Narcissa was saying, or trying to say. But the meaning seemed clear enough; she still blamed herself for the assault, held onto the guilt. She was far worse than he had thought, though he knew she was pretty far gone. Which only added to his own guilt. If anything he should be to blame, in the least for how he had handled things when he’d first saw her. With a sigh, her words started to fall into place.

“Narcissa, love–” His voice softened, and he leaned forward to gently press his lips to her hair. “You don’t need to keep apologizing. Especially not to me. If anything, I should be asking it of you. I–What I did–How I reacted…” Regulus’s eyes closed and he sighed, the sight of her back the first time he saw it still fresh in his mind. The anger. The confusion. The misunderstanding. He was a fucking idiot. “I should have let you explain, but instead I let my temper cloud my judgement. You didn’t deserve that. Not after–” He pressed his lips together, looking away.

On some level, he had been upset she’d needed to find another bed to occupy in his short absence. But it had been the least of his concerns. Narcissa had every right to sleep with whomever she wished. Regulus hadn’t made his intentions clear, hadn’t made things official, and he was still hesitant to do so. How could he, when he knew he’d leave again, break her heart, even if it wasn’t his choice this time? It was more complicated than he ever wanted it to become, yet here he was, his heart yearning for her in a way he never could have anticipated. He couldn’t continue to watch her cry, watch as she withdrew deeper and deeper into herself because of his carelessness. No. He had to do something, and she had to believe him. Or at least start to.

With his good hand, Regulus slowly took hers that were still twisting in her lap. “I know I’m not perfect, far from it, but I do want to stay. I want you to believe that. I want to stay, with you.” The words were almost foreign to his ears, yet he couldn’t help but want to believe them too. Because he did. If things were different, there would be no hesitation. He would give himself, all of himself, freely and willingly over to her. But for now, this had to be enough. He could be here, now, for as long as he could. She needed him and he couldn’t keep hurting her by keeping his distance.

“Let me stay with you, Cissy.” He leaned down, but he didn’t move any more than that, his forehead touching hers, his hand squeezing gently. “I won’t leave you alone. Not again.” His throat closed, his chest tightening. I love you. He wanted to say it, nearly did, but his tongue felt like lead. No, that was the one line he could not cross. It would destroy her and he wouldn’t allow that. This had to be enough.

She stilled as he took her hands, trying to brace for the inevitable rejection. She had fucked it all up so bad, and she couldn’t expect him to wait for her to figure out how to be normal again. She wasn’t even sure it was possible to be normal again. And it wouldn’t be fair for him to have to wait until she could handle sex again - because she had a bad feeling that it would be a long time before that moment came. She would let him do what he wanted, even though she didn’t think he would take the offer, but she knew that wouldn’t be the best choice. It wouldn’t stop her though. She wanted him more than anything, and if that was what it took to get him to stay . . .

Lost in her thoughts, she almost didn’t hear his words. The part about her apology was forgotten almost as soon as he said it; she had been the one to fuck up, so obviously she was the one who needed to apologize. The rest of it though . . . it was hard to believe that he wanted to stay. The way he worded it, almost asking her permission, as if she would ever send him away. She still wasn’t sure she completely believed him, but she was exhausted. Too tired to keep fussing or fighting. Sighing softly, she shifted so she could lean against him, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes. “I want you to stay.” She spoke in a whisper, unable to get her voice any stronger than that at the moment. 

“I’ll do whatever you want, I just - please stay.” Her eyes were closed and she lost the interest or ability to make any further promises but it didn’t matter what he asked, she would do it. As long as he stayed. She’d felt better in the two days since his return than she had in the week before that. Having him here kept the nightmares at bay and made her feel more grounded and settled.

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

This situation Regulus was still so eerily similar to the one from months ago, yet still different. A horrible, uneasy feeling had settled in the bottom of his stomach, and it was only growing. Narcissa wasn’t letting him comfort her, not in the way he wanted, but he remained silent, waiting. He was torn between running off to find either Bellatrix or Andromeda, though he knew he couldn’t leave Narcissa like this, and simply putting his arms around her regardless of her protests to hold her as close to him as possible. But he did neither. Instead, his arms lay limp and useless at his sides as she pressed slowly against his chest.

The silence stretched on, and it left him to reel about the vague answers she’d given him. Always? His uncle had always done this? How had he not known? Not seen it? The knot in his stomach lurched. Was he really that blind? Of course he and his brother had been on the receiving end of a smack once or twice (more so Sirius). But it was never anything like this. Even at his brother’s worst, it never got this bad. He was a traitor, sure, but deep down, Regulus knew his parents still loved him. He still loved the git, not that he’d every openly admit to it. So how could his uncle do this? To his own daughter? Regulus’s fists curled and he had to concentrate on his keeping his breathing even, not wanting to upset or alarm Narcissa anymore than she was. How had his cousins even allowed this? How had Narcissa not told him? It was so much to take in with too many questions, and she wasn’t offering anything more.

When she finally managed to speak, not much of it was making any sense. Regulus still kept silent, trying to piece it together, frowning when she moved away from him. His expression only grew more worried when the vase and book fell. His uncle had told him to make sure Narcissa did as she was told, and some part of him wanted to obey because that’s just what he did, what was expected. But the state Narcissa was in, and after what he had seen … Cygnus Black was not the man Regulus had thought he was. How could he follow the directions of a man like that? Narcissa needed to be protected, first and foremost. Regulus had always believed that and tried his best to follow.

“Cissy, I don’t–I don’t think I understand.” He shifted to stand when she did, ready to catch her if she fell again, though she still held onto him. It was a small relief, and one that was short lived as she moved away from him again and found herself off balance. His instinct to catch her had him reaching for her, but she landed on a much softer sofa than the previous trip to the floor. It was agonizing to watch, feeling helpless to soothe her.

Regulus knelt in front of her, waiting for a sign, something, anything from her to let him know he could get closer. When she finally offered her hand, he seized it immediately, holding it firmly and kissing the back of it repeatedly. “I don’t care about my jacket.” He shook his head, pressing his forehead to their clasped hands. “I’m not angry. Merlin’s beard, I’m not angry. Not at you. Never you.” His uncle though, the initial shock of what he’d seen had begun to wear off, being replaced with deep seeded disgust and burning resentment. There was no way he was going to let this happen ever again.

Finally lifting his eyes to try and find hers, Regulus inhaled and rubbed away the tears. “I’m taking you home. I won’t–he can’t–” The words were thick and he couldn’t get them past his throat. He shook his head and swallowed, taking another deep breath. “Kreacher.” The fireplace no doubt was linked to the Floo Network, but he didn’t think either of them had the strength to use it at present. Finding his cousins was a priority, but nearly impossible at the moment. For now, they needed to be somewhere safe and away from prying eyes and unwelcomed  gossip.

The house-elf popped next to Regulus, bowing instantly. “Master has called Kreacher back so soon?”

“Yes. We’re leaving.” Regulus squeezed Narcissa’s hand, shushing her protests as he turned his attention back to her. “We are not staying. I don’t care what Uncle said or what he told you to do. We’re going home. Kreacher, are Mother and Father there?”

“No Master Regulus. The Mistress and Master are still gone. Mistress told Kreacher not to expect them back until very late.”

“Good.” Regulus nodded. At least he wouldn’t have to explain things right away, though he planned on talking to them first thing in the morning. “Let’s go.”

The sense of relief that came as he kissed her hand vanished when she understood what he wanted to do. She couldn’t leave. Her father was already so angry and if she didn’t listen to him, if she didn’t go dance with Lucius Malfoy until Father was ready to take her home and finish their conversation, it would only be so much worse. But Reggie didn’t listen as she tried to tell him no and she couldn’t bring herself to put it into words - that if she left now, when she was finally home again, Father would just hit her more. Even now that Reggie had seen what happened, the promise to her sisters not to tell him seemed to weigh down any explanation she wanted to offer.

Before he could get her on her feet for Kreacher to take them back to Grimmauld Place, the door opened and Andie’s voice broke into the room. “Sorry if I’m interrupting, I just - Cissy?” She didn’t wait for a response, or even acknowledge Reggie, but rushed across the room to drop onto the couch by Cissa, turning her head with a gentle hand. “Oh my god, what happened?” Her eyes flickered from Cissa to Reggie with obvious alarm, but Cissa knew her sister well enough to guess what the reason for the alarm was. Not that Reggie had hurt her - no one would ever believe that - but that Cissa had told him the truth. 

With a hiccuping sob, she leaned into her sister’s embrace, although Cissa didn’t try to free her hand from Reggie’s grip. “I didn’t tell him,” she whispered, “but he - he saw - and I have - have to go d-dance with -” 

Andie hushed her, much like Reggie had done, and for a moment, the room was quiet. Cissa’s head was on her sister’s shoulder, and she closed her eyes as Andie spoke over her head. “She can’t go back out there like this.” Reggie offered a murmur of assent, although Cissa was sure she could hear an undertone of anger in his tone. Why he would be angry, she couldn’t imagine. “I’ll find Bella, she’ll know what to do about Father and Lucius. Will you take Cissy with you? It’ll be better if she’s not at home later.” He agreed again and Andie very gently pushed Cissa up. “Let me heal you first, Cissy.” She again stopped Cissa’s protest; Father hadn’t said that Cissa could have it healed and he hated when she did so without permission. But in moments, Andie had taken care of the split lip and the dull throbbing where Father had struck her. “Don’t worry, Bella and I will take care of everything.” She kissed Cissa’s forehead and waited just long enough to help Reggie get her upright, and then Andie was gone.

Cissa gave in; there was no point in fighting with Reggie and her sisters, and if Bella got involved, there would be absolutely no way Cissa could get out of leaving with Reggie now. She didn’t even want to dance with Lucius; it was better than making Father angrier, but she trusted that Bella could take care of it. So she just leaned into Reggie wordlessly and let him deal with Kreacher and getting them back to Grimmauld Place.

He had to repeat himself several times before she registered that he was speaking, and then what the question was, but she didn’t have to think very long about her answer. “Bath please,” she said, still pressed as close to him as was humanly possible. “Will - will you stay?” She didn’t want to be alone; she never did, after she’d upset her father like that. Bella and Andie always stayed with her for as long as she needed, and she was sure Reggie would too but she wanted to hear it.

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

Even with Narcissa clinging to him, Regulus was finding it hard to fully concentrate on her. The short but venomous exchange with Kingsley still had him reeling. That bloke didn’t know one thing about him, and to imply he didn’t care about Narcissa? Regulus ground his teeth thinking about the next time he’d see him, and how his hand had better be healed because he was going to break it again. But Narcissa finally speaking pulled him from his less than honorable thoughts, giving himself a shake.

“What? Of course I’m going to stay. Cissa, I said I would.” Regulus frowned in slight confusion as he stared at the golden and still glittery head in his lap, his hand gently rubbing her upper arm. He knew it was going to be difficult for Narcissa to trust him, but she had to at least a little by now, right? Though, that thought only made him frown more. How much longer could he stay before he wouldn’t be returning, ever? What would that do to her then? It would have been so much easier to have stayed away, to never have talked to her at the will reading. None of this would have happened. None of it.

Again, her voice broke through his dark thoughts, and he sighed, moving his hand to her hair. “You probably should eat, if you can. What little you did is definitely gone now, ” he looked over at he toilet, hating that she must have had a reaction to his morning indiscresion, bringing her back to the horrible memory of Fawley and what he did to her. “But, that can wait. Until you feel better.” His own stomach lurch at the mention of food, but he pushed the feeling away. He was going to mention that maybe they could try eating in the dining room or even outside, when her next words hit him in the gut, making him go completely still.

His first reaction was shock. Where had that even come from? Well, obviously Regulus knew, and again he berated himself for waking up pressed against her. Why wouldn’t Narcissa think that. But then, the way she moved, the way she looked, was she offering herself as a means for him to stay? Did she really think that little of him, of herself, that fucking her was all he wanted of her? His face grew grim, bordering on disgust and anger. She couldn’t think he had that little respect for her, or himself, surely. “Narcissa, I– no, I’m not going to fuck you.” His brows creased as he forced himself to look at her, trying to piece this together. It came out quiet, though harsher than he’d intended, yet it didn’t seem to phase her as he’d thought it would.

No, instead, she was moving again, and it seemed as if she was trying to kiss him. His hand was moved to her thigh, and she was starting to straddle him. Regulus’s head was spinning, none of this making sense. He didn’t move, holding Narcissa at bay, giving her the time to back out. But then he felt lips on his neck, tenative, wet. He swallowed thickly, inhaling deeply. “Narcissa. Stop.” Even using his bad hand, he gently but firmly pushed her away, giving them some distance. “I don’t want to fuck you.” He lifted her chin so she’d look at him, the tears already streaking her cheeks. The pain, the rejection, maybe even a hint of relief, but still, there was hurt. Rethinking what he said, he let out a shaky breath, licking his lips. “Not like this. You’re–you couldn’t handle it. And I don’t want it, not like this.” He repeated with a small head shake. “Not ever.”

Tears threatened at the edges of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall, taking in another unsteady breath before continuing. “If you think I will only stay because of sex, then you really don’t know me at all.” His eyes bore into hers, his thumb idly and gently wiping away the tears that fell into its path. Regulus hoped that somewhere in the horrors of her mind, Narcissa understood. He would never deny her otherwise, but he would–could–never take advantage of her. Not like that. It sickened him to think others would, or had. But never again. He’d make sure of it.

She didn’t stop when he spoke so harshly, but when he pushed her away, she did. She went limp in his arms, slumped over with her head dropping. There was no point for struggling now, not if he didn’t want her. She didn’t even fight his hand when he tipped her face up. “I - I could,” she choked out, even knowing that wasn’t true. The thought of it turned her stomach, and she had been unable to stop the relief that swept through her when he said no. “If - if you - I j-just w-want -” 

She closed her eyes and sighed, the breath catching in her throat as it escaped. Much as she wanted to argue that she knew him, they had both changed so much since he left the first time. And then he left the second time and she fucked herself up. She couldn’t blame him for not wanting to stay with her. Not wanting her. It had been made abundantly clear by all the boys she’d snogged in closets and back rooms at parties just what she brought to a relationship and if he wasn’t interested in that . . . “B-but you w-won’t - that’s . . . that’s all - all I c-can - bring.” 

Talking was too much effort. How many times had some boy whispered to her about how hot she was, all the things he wanted to do to her or for her to do to him? Even Lucius, telling her how good she’d look on his arm at some event or another, relegating her worth to her appearance and how she could elevate his status. Kingsley hadn’t done it. Kingsley had valued her for other reasons, had wanted to know her for who she was and not just because she had a pretty face or a nice body. But he’d wanted more in other ways, and she couldn’t give that to him. But then Reggie had come back and she had such high hopes because she could give him everything emotionally, the way she couldn’t with Kingsley, or Lucius, or anyone else.

And now she’d fucked it up so much.

“I’m sorry.” How many times would she have to apologize before it was enough? Maybe it wouldn’t ever be enough. She wasn’t even upset about it. She deserved anything that happened, after what she had done. He wasn’t holding her up any longer, aside from the hand on her face, and she folded in on herself with another unsteady sigh. He would leave and she would have to pick up the pieces again somehow. It would probably be better to just let him go and try to move on rather than keep begging him to stay when he wanted to be free from her. “I d-didn’t mean t-to . . . fuck up so . . . I was so s-scared and you were - g-gone and I just . . .” Her voice trailed off miserably. There was no way to express just how terrified and alone she’d been, how desperate for anything that might bring back some of the peace and belonging she felt with him. “I’m sorry. If - if you don’t w-want -” She stopped to swallow, her fingers twisting together in her lap. “Don’t want t-to stay or . . . me or - I fucked up so bad, I know, you - you c-can -” But she couldn’t bring herself to actually say the words. She didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t know what she would do without him; she’d find some way to get through but she couldn’t tell him to go.

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

How they’d made it just in time, Regulus would never know. But he thanked his lucky stars all the same, sighing a relief as they quickly dissolved into the fray of dancers, blending in easily. It had taken some time, and a short detour, but they had made it. He was finally dancing with Narcissa, his smile bigger than ever. It was shaping up to be quite the night. Too bad they couldn’t dance forever.

Leaving her side was difficult, but when Narcissa insisted, Regulus had to obey. Even with the masks still in place, he gave her one last, longing look before he reluctantly pulled his eyes away and threaded his way across the room. There and back, shouldn’t take but a couple minutes. Taking a sip of the first glass he picked up, he decided it wasn’t sweet enough for her, then he looked back on instinct, and frowned. She wasn’t there.

The smallest jab of panic fluttered in his stomach, but surely she wasn’t far. There were many people mingling about, and Narcissa would try to avoid someone she didn’t particularly want to socialize with. Or perhaps she found a couple of chairs for them to relax a few songs. Trying another drink and deeming it an acceptable offer, Regulus grabbed another untouched glass and began his way back to where he’d left her. But as he got nearer, his frown only deepened. Narcissa wasn’t in the vicinity, and all chairs were occupied with people that were not her. The panic began to creep in faster.

Draining one of the drinks, Regulus placed the empty and the still full one on the first hard surface he found, his eyes scanning all round him. He couldn’t have possibly lost her. The loo? Perhaps. Still trying to keep the panic from reaching full on attack, he left the ballroom and headed towards the halls, looking for a bathroom. The house was big, but the people lingering here and there made it easier to find with only a couple questioned guests. But still, no Narcissa. He could feel the blood pumping in his ears, the panic tightening in his chest. How could she have just … disappeared?

Looking up from the wall he’d leaned against to gather himself, he saw what looked like a porch, and perhaps a few party goers milling about. Could she have stepped out for some fresh air? Out of other ideas, Regulus crossed the small room and made his way outside, looking around hopefully. But still no sign of pink. The worry was becoming frightfully real as a new realization set in. Could his uncle have found her after all? His stomach dropped and he staggered into the porch railing, but he quickly shook his head. There was no way Uncle Cygnus could know what Regulus and Narcissa did with each other. But the way Kreacher made it seem, like he was on the war path to her room…Regulus needed to find Narcissa now.

Walking further around the porch, the music grew softer, allowing Regulus to listen more easily. And that’s when he heard it. The soft thud, like something had fallen, and the deep, hurried voice. He couldn’t make out the words, but he understood the tone. Someone was vexed. He felt a tinge of sympathy for whomever was on the receiving end of it. Inching closer, the voice slowly became more recognizable, and Regulus stilled, hidden in the shadows as he looked on in horror.

Narcissa was on the ground, but only for a moment before his uncle reached down and pulled her up harshly. Regulus couldn’t believe what he was seeing, his eyes widening when the mark he had left was in plain view, the look of utter disgust all over his uncle’s face. He was frozen in place, terrified their secret had been found out. His brain screamed at him to rush in and explain, or try to give his uncle something, but his legs wouldn’t move. The echo of the slap hit Regulus almost as hard as it did Narcissa.

An overwhelming wave of nausea suddenly overcame him, and Regulus ripped his mask off as he lurched across the porch and leaned over the railing, the bubbly he’d just drank coming right back up. If he wasn’t so utterly shocked, he’d have been more angry, ready to confront his uncle and defend Narcissa’s honor. But his mind was moving slowly, not quite able to put the pieces together fast enough. He turned around at the sound of approaching footsteps and quickly moved back the way he’d come, holding his breath.

Moments later, Regulus saw his uncle storming his way, his vision apparently tunneled, his face screwed into a simmering anger. The sight snapped Regulus awake, his own fury ignited. Stepping into his uncle’s path, ready to fight if need be, Regulus barely opened his mouth before Cygnus stopped and blinked, frowning slightly and placing both of his hands on Regulus’s shoulders.

“Your parents are lucky they have such a good lad. A strong, proper Black heir.” His smile was one Regulus would have beamed at before, but now it took all his willpower not to pull away. “If only your cousin was as dutiful. As obedient. Loyal.” Cygnus’s gaze glossed over a moment, his eyes cold and emotionless as his fingers dug into Regulus’s shoulders before he focused back on Regulus, his hold loosening. “Make sure she does as she was told. I’m counting on you, Regulus. Keep her in line.” With a nod, and not waiting for a response, Cygnus dropped his hands and stepped around Regulus before striding out of sight.

Regulus was at the glass doors in seconds, staring at the devastation that his uncle had left. He had only felt this way one other time–when Narcissa had been attacked at school–and yet somehow this felt even worse. To know that this was a result from family, from a man he looked up to and respected. Had looked up to and respected. It sent his mind reeling again, and he found he couldn’t move again, too afraid to go near. He wanted nothing more than to hold Narcissa, run to her and tell her everything would be okay, but he couldn’t.

Their eyes found one another’s and it was like the spell was broken. Regulus finally stepped into the room, only to stop again at Narcissa’s stuttering and her withdrawal from him. That hurt, more than Regulus ever thought possible, that she wouldn’t run to him for safety. But he’d been too late. Again. He swallowed that harsh trust, storing it away for later guilt. Instead, he slowly raised his hands and began inching his way toward her again. Her tirade of excuses and explanations only brought on his tears, and he gently shook his head, still unable to trust his voice.

The moment she fell again, Regulus quickly closed the remaining distance, though still kept an arm’s length between them as he crouched down. His hand shook as he reached out, ever so gently touching her arm. “Cis–” His voice cracked and he cleared it several times before he tried again. “Cissy, you’re not fine.” There were a million questions he wanted to ask, but only one he needed to know right then. “How long has he been doing that to you?” He paused and his frown deepend before adding, “H-Hitting you?”

Cissa always felt safe with Reggie; there had never been a moment where she ever felt afraid - with him or of him. But as he touched her, she still cringed, trying to draw in on herself. It was an automatic response now, and even when it was her sisters who found her, they had to take their time before she was ready for them to touch her again. She took in a shuddering breath, trying to find the words to insist that she was fine, she would be fine. She had to be. If she didn’t go out and dance with Lucius Malfoy . . . her father was already angrier than she’d ever seen him so she didn’t want to imagine what he would be like if she defied him like that.

But when she spoke, it was to answer his question. “A-always? He - he always - it’s - it’s what’s done.” The words came out uncertainly, because while Bella had always been sure when she told Cissa that this was done in all the pureblood families, Reggie’s reaction didn’t seem to support that. She’d always known her aunt and uncle were different but she hadn’t thought about how different. “Wh-when Andie l-left -” It had taken a turn at that point but . . . “I - I - I’m a disappointment - stupid - I - I can’t - I try so hard -” Nothing was ever enough for him though. No matter what she did. How many times had he told her she was stupid? Or a disappointment. Or irrelevant. 

She bit her lip, trying to stifle the sob that caught in her throat. After a long moment, she lurched forward so she could lean against him but when she felt his arms moving, she let out a whimper and shook her head frantically. He froze and then his hands fell again and Cissa breathed a soft sigh of relief against his chest. Somewhere she recognized that it probably would be hard for him to not hold her but she couldn’t, not yet. Her forehead pressed to his shoulder - she had initially rested her cheek there but the pressure made it throb. Father had struck both sides of her face, although he’d hit the left side twice and it hurt more. That was the side where he’d split her lip. Cissa touched it gingerly, but the bleeding seemed to have stopped. 

The mask was uncomfortable and she lifted her hands to pluck at the ribbon securing it but she couldn’t make sense of the knot. After a heartbeat, she felt Reggie’s hands on hers and she froze again, her heartbeat moving in double time. But he waited and she finally dropped her hand, offering silent permission for him to untie the knot. When that was done, she closed her eyes and sat up long enough for him to gently pull the mask away - if her eyes were closed, she couldn’t see his hand and that made it easier for her; immediately after that, she dropped her head to his shoulder again, tensing as he brushed her shoulder before moving his hand. She wasn’t ready to talk, and maybe he realized that because the silence lingered as she tried to steady herself.

Her hair had started to come out of the elaborate updo and when she peered at Reggie - after her heart had started to slow and her breathing had returned to something close to normal - it was through several strands that had fallen in front of her face. “Y-you - you won’t - w-wouldn’t -” Her hand lifted and her fingers brushed her cheek, making her flinch against the pain, but the sentence went unfinished. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her but the question lingered. At one point, she had thought her father wouldn’t hurt her. Those thoughts were pointless though and she had to go dance. “I - I n-need -” Somehow, she managed to pull herself away from Reggie and reach up to try and push the loose hair back into the pins. “I n-need to go - to - to - he said -”

She’d have to glamour the cut on her lip too - she didn’t think her face was bruised at this point but the lip would be a bad sign. This was one of the spells she could do without her wand, and she closed her eyes in order to do it. But the magic was out of reach. All she managed to do was rattle a vase behind her, and send a book flying off the coffee table to land on the floor with a loud banging noise that made her flinch again. “You - you’ll - have to - I can’t c-cover - please? He’ll be s-so angry -” She couldn’t wait for his answer though, and struggled to her feet, bracing her hand on his shoulder as she stood. Cissa was aware of Reggie moving as well, and talking, but she couldn’t hear over the pounding in her ears, and couldn’t focus on him anyway. Not until she lifted her head to see that she’d touched his shoulder with the bloodied hand and left a smudge of dark red on his coat. 

“I - I - I’m s-sorry, I didn’t - please d-don’t be a-angry -” She took a step back, tripping yet again over the coffee table but this time she landed on the sofa instead of the floor. She hunched over, curling her dirty hand to her chest. Reggie wouldn’t be angry - he was almost never angry with her and even if he were angry, he wasn’t like her father but even knowing that, she still let out a litany of whispered apologies as she rocked on the couch. The need for comfort finally outweighed the fear of being touched and she held out her hand - the clean hand, as she ended the apologies with an even softer whisper of his name.

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

The minor interruption seemed to put Narcissa off, and Regulus was slightly concerned his pleaded five minutes wouldn’t be enough. And knowing Kreacher, he would only get more insistent, and Narcissa would never finish and that wouldn’t be good for anyone. He tried to redouble his efforts, tired as he was, as he wouldn’t- couldn’t- deny her. But then she did something most unexpected, and Regulus nearly stopped moving as he watched in utter amazement. Narcissa had become more and more lax, even becoming brave enough for new things. But this, unprovoked or suggested by Regulus, was something completely new. He watched in wonder as her fingers worked under the top of her dress, and the soon to follow feeling of her tightening around him made it even better. He couldn’t look away, his own hand and hips moving through her release until she forced him to stop.

Finally coming back to the present, he slowly pulled out and stepped back, letting Narcissa slide off the bed. Regulus was sure his grin hadn’t moved the whole time, his whole focus fixated on her. He didn’t even care about the waiting house elf at the moment, only wanting to stare longer at the woman before him. “Cissy … that was. Where did you … why …” Apparently, it was still difficult to form words, and he merely shook his head with a soft chuckle, retrieving a handkerchief from his pocket to clean himself before putting his trousers in order. “I loved it.” He clarified before she could become too self-conscious about what she’d done. For further proof, he stepped forward, wrapping one arm around her waist and kissed her, none too gently. The other hand, still holding the cloth, managed to find its way back up the bundle of ample material to that wonderful slot to wipe away the mess they’d left.

It was hard, but Regulus finally broke the kiss, breathless and grinning once again. “I think your dress is fine, by the way, but you may need to touch up your lips.” With another quick peck, he stepped back, his hand under her skirts falling away as well. The fervent knock at the door then followed again as if on queue, Kreacher calling out with a mild panic. “Yes yes, Kreacher, we’re coming. We’re coming!” He shot Narcissa a playful look at his words as he adjusted his mask then strode over to the door to open it. The house elf was wringing his hand, nearly bouncing from foot to foot, looking far more concerned than he should have been.

“Master Cygnus is here. He is looking for Miss Narcissa. He-he …” Kreacher shuttered, rubbing his arm as he looked away. “His is very angry. Kreacher tried to tell him she wasn’t here, but …he didn’t believe Kreacher …” The house elf trailed off and Regulus felt his stomach drop to his knees, the sound of distant feet on the stairs making his spine tingle like ice had been poured down it. “Cissy,” he hissed, throwing his hand out to her as she still sat at her vanity. “We have to leave. Now.” Regulus pulled Kreacher inside and closed the door, panic seizing him but determined to stay calm. They could make it out before his uncle got to the room. They had to.

Cissa nearly froze on the vanity stool - well, she did, but only for a moment. Reggie didn’t need to tell her how quickly they had to get out of the house. Her lipstick had been reapplied flawlessly and she flung herself in his direction, latching onto his hand as tightly as she could. Kreacher apparated them out of the bedroom and to the Selwyn’s estate, presumably, in an empty room. Cissa said a hurried thanks - she never thanked their house elf but Reggie had always been particular about Kreacher - and then all but dragged Reggie from the room. Panic urged her forward; if they could just get to the dance floor, then her father couldn’t make a scene and they would be safe. They made it in time and she caught a glimpse of her father as they whirled around but when she could look in his direction again, he had vanished. She breathed a sigh of relief that turned into a little giggle, and then let herself really enjoy dancing with Reggie. They didn’t stop until Cissa’s dry throat nearly set her to coughing, and even then, Reggie seemed reluctant but she shooed him off in the direction of the drinks and assured him she would be fine. 

No sooner had he stepped away than a hand closed on her arm in a familiar, bruising grip and Cissa found herself dragged from the room. Father didn’t even give her the chance to try to keep up, and she barely managed to keep on her feet as he hauled her out of the ballroom and down a corridor into another empty room. Cissa just had a glimpse of a fireplace, and bookshelves lining the walls, and huge glass doors leading onto a patio as Cygnus pushed her inside. He didn’t even bother shutting the door behind him as he stalked forward and slapped her. The blow was hard enough to send her staggering sideways but habit kept her upright. He got angry when she fell down. 

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?” Cygnus advanced on her, with an expression on his face that Cissa hadn’t seen before. She knew better than to answer him - knew better than to try to get away but instinctively backed up as he got closer. “Your one job was to attend this damn party and ensure that Malfoy isn’t tired of you yet. I thought even you weren’t stupid enough to make a mess of that. And instead I find that you’re late. You haven’t even looked at the Malfoy boy. And,” he paused ominously, staring down at Cissa for a long moment as she tried frantically to think of what she could possibly have done that had made him this angry. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a cloth, flinging it down at the floor, and her heart skipped a beat. Reggie’s handkerchief. 

She didn’t even see the next slap coming. It set her ears to ringing and sent her reeling again, this time crashing into a coffee table and losing her balance enough to end up on her arse. “I’m going to hope that you know better than to fool around. Your worth in this family is solely thanks to your marriage to Lucius Malfoy and unless he has been in your bedroom -” His voice trailed off again. Cissa kept her eyes fixed on her father’s legs, terrified of meeting his gaze. He reached down and yanked her to her feet again, though he kept his grip on her arm with one hand and reached for her chin with the other. Squeezing it to ensure her silence and obedience, he turned her head to the side - exposing the mark Reggie had left earlier. “Stupid girl.” The silence that followed was deafening; Cissa scarcely even dared to breathe. He finally released her, waiting until she raised her eyes from his chest to his face. She saw his hand this time. 

She ended up on the floor again, narrowly missing the corner of the coffee table. Her lip burned her cheek throbbed and tears stung at her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. That would make it worse. Her father took in several deep, harsh breaths before he spoke again. “You will go back out there and find Malfoy. You will dance with him until I come for you. And then we will go home to finish this conversation.” One of his hands clenched into a fist and something in the pit of Cissa’s stomach sank down to her knees. She mumbled a response - yes Father was an automatic answer at this point, even in times when she didn’t comprehend what he was saying. He stalked away, only to return and drag her to her feet again, his fingers gripping her chin. “I don’t think you understand how angry I am, Narcissa. Don’t make it worse.” He shoved her away and left, exiting through the glass double doors.

For a long moment, the only thing she could do was sit on the floor - she’d fallen again when he shoved her - and listen to her own gasping breaths. He had never been so angry and she knew it would be far worse when she got home, and she didn’t dare cross him further. Reggie would - 

She couldn’t think of him right now. She’d just have to get up and go find Lucius and - 

Something tickled her chin and she lifted her hand to her mouth. It came away bloody. She’d have to glamour that. He hadn’t said anything about healing it, which could mean he’d just forgotten or could mean she was allowed to heal it but she couldn’t do it herself or risk asking someone so a glamour would have to do. She was good at those anyway.

For another minute, she sat still, staring at her hand, and then gradually became aware of eyes on her. Her own gaze was slow to lift up but she finally managed to look in the doorway and see -

Reggie.

She stared blankly for a minute then lurched to her feet. “How - how long were - what did you - “ But it didn’t matter how long he’d been there or what he’d seen. She couldn’t tell him. And she had her orders: dance with Lucius Malfoy until her father took her home and - Her mind skittered away from the thought and latched onto the only sort of explanation she could manage. “I - I - I f-fell. Tripped. I’m - I’m fine -” She moved as he did, stepping away from him for one of the very few times in her life; if she shifted, she could keep the sofa between them. “I’m fine, I have - have to dance with Lu-” She couldn’t finish his name; after everything she’d done with Reggie just hours before, the thought of Lucius Malfoy so much as touching her made her feel queasy. But it would have to be done. Her mouth opened again as she strained for something to say to him, anything that would calm him down but she just couldn’t. Her own emotions ran too high and there was panic hovering at the edges of her thoughts; she could hear how her breathing had gotten faster and faster and knew this was not going well if she wanted to really convince Reggie that she was fine but she just couldn’t manage it. 

Between the furniture and her huge skirt, she lost her balance and fell again, landing on her arse. This time, she was too stunned to move further. She hunched her shoulders, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to still the tremors that shook her body.

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

Talking no longer seemed a manageable thing, so instead, Regulus used a mixture of grunts and moans to convey his agreement with Narcissa. Her neck was extra delectable, and he couldn’t have pulled away even if his parents had walked in. The spot just below and behind her ear was exceptionally perfect, and by the time he was satisfied with the area, he was quite certain there would be a proud mark left. He was about to make a matching set on the other side when her lower hand pulled away and she stepped back.

Frowning slightly, Regulus opened his eyes to question, but being gently tugged to the bed, along with her desperate plea, was all the more he needed. His lips curled up into an excited smirk as he licked them with a nod. “Yes, Cissy. But it has to be quick.” He pulled out his pocket watch again to check how much time remained, then glanced back at the door, half expecting Kreacher to burst in early. His attention was drawn back to the bed at the rustling of material, and he let out a small laugh at the amount of frill and lace. “How am I supposed to even find …” He laughed again as he helped Narcissa navigate the abundance of the period clothing, his eyes growing wide when he noticed a very interesting piece, or rather lack thereof. “Are these …” Regulus looked up with an amused grin, his free hand undoing his trouser’s front flap to release himself. “That’s very convenient." 

Taking ahold of the backs of her knees, he pulled her closer to him and was fully inside in one smooth motion. His hands stayed in place to hold her, hips moving with one goal in mind. Regulus looked up then, a small smile evident even with the mask still on. "You’re so fucking gorgeous.” And it was true. Even with her face partially covered, she was still the most beautiful thing Regulus had ever seen. “And you’re all mine.” His grin was proud and excited, possessive even. It wasn’t like he had expressed this before, but maybe it was the allure of the party or it really was Narcissa’s costume gown. Whatever the reason, it had taken him no time to get worked up since he’d entered the room, and his rush to tell her this needed to be quick was quite easy on his part.

In perhaps record time, or close to, Regulus was panting as his movement slowed somewhat riding out his wave. As if on queue, there was a knock at the door. “Shite. Just- just a minute!” He grunted and looked back down at Narcissa, giving an apologetic smile. “It’s all right. You’re all right. You’re almost there, yeah? I’ll keep going…” He licked his lips and released one of her legs, moving his hand between them to find the extra sensitive spot to help her finish. Another knock, this time more urgent, with a croaked “Master Regulus?” Regulus threw his head back, a small irritation at the house elf quickly forming. “Bloody hell. Like, five more minutes, Kreacher! Please.” There was silence, and Regulus returned his full attention back to Narcissa, a more devilish smirk back in place.

The only downside Cissa could see to this dress was all the material. It was not the most conducive to what they were doing but Reggie seemed to manage it well enough and she let him handle it, unable even to think of a proper response - she’d thought, when she got the costume, that he would appreciate certain aspects of the undergarments. It certainly took some adjusting for her but in this particular moment, she was more than happy about it and the ease of access for him. A soft groan escaped as he entered her, and she propped herself up on her elbows, still sprawled back on the bed. She liked watching his face, even if she couldn’t see much of it. She knew very well the expressions he was making and that was enough for her. 

“All yours,” she echoed in another breathy whisper. The statement was as true as anything she’d ever felt; no matter what happened in the future, she knew that she would always be his. No one else could ever touch her in the way Regulus had. Her pleasure built more slowly than his, despite how desperate she felt, but she did so love watching him and she knew that he would be sure that she also reached that point so she didn’t worry too much. Until the knock at the door. Cissa might be confident in Regulus, but that didn’t stop her from sending him a panicked look. “Reggie, I need -” He wouldn’t stop now - he couldn’t. She wouldn’t be going anywhere until she was finished, but the fear was more prevalent than the frustration and he seemed to realize that. His expression was gentle and reassuring, and his words even more so. She relaxed a little, even giggled at the second interruption; Reggie was so rarely upset with Kreacher, and this would be highly amusing if she weren’t so very needy at the moment.

But despite his attention, and how attractive she found that smirk, it wasn’t very easy to let herself really enjoy what was happening. Knowing the house elf was outside the door and the two interruptions had pulled her out of the moment a little and she gave a frustrated whine. Normally she’d just grab one of his hands and pull it to her chest, but both his hands were occupied, and there was too much fabric in the skirt of her dress and the petticoat for them to really get close enough for him to kiss her neck. She pushed herself up onto her hands, about to start whining until he could figure out a solution when two thoughts struck her - first, that she had always liked watching Reggie touch himself when she was trying to be alluring, and second, that she had her own hands. After only a brief hesitation, she shifted her weight, holding herself up with her left hand, and then hesitantly sliding her right hand under the neckline of her gown. It was very low cut and there was just enough give in the fabric for her fingers to slip into it. Her face was very hot, but she kept her eyes on Reggie - his reaction was quite enough for her to think he liked this but she didn’t have time to dwell on it very long because her fingertips brushed over her nipple and she let out a surprised - but very pleased - gasp. She kept her fingers moving, uncertainly but enough to bring her pleasure spiking back up. Especially combined with Reggie’s hand between her legs. It all came to a point, and she gave a gentle pinch and then let out a low groan as the pleasure exploded in her. 

She fell back on the bed, covering her mouth to muffle some of the gasps and whimpers as she calmed back down again. Eventually she managed to sit up and push at Reggie’s arm. “We - we really should - Kreacher is waiting.” Though she had swung back round to not caring about the party, it seemed a shame to waste all the effort with her costume. And she wanted to dance with Reggie without having to worry about sharing his attention. And truthfully, she rather though she’d like to drag him off to an empty room at the Selwyn’s and get him under her skirt. It would be very satisfying to think he was fucking her with his mouth at Natalia’s house. So she pushed herself to her feet and shook out her dress. “Is it too badly wrinkled? We should go.”

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

Of all the inappropriate times for a dream like that to have occurred, now was definitely the worst time. Regulus wasn’t even sure what the dream was about, but as he made his way to the restroom, he knew it had to be good. Normally, this wouldn’t have been an issue, though needed to handle it this immediately seldom happened. It was more embarrassing than anything, and he felt especially bad for Narcissa. She didn’t need to feel that, not after what she’d been through. He just hoped he could take care of it quickly and then get back to her before she thought he’d left.

True enough, it didn’t take long. Regulus was hopeful it’d have been quicker, but it was what it was, and he made sure to clean any mess before he washed his hand (damn bloody cast making it slightly more difficult) then took a minute to stare at himself in the mirror. Not for the first time, he wondered just what the hell he was doing. There was no better answer than there ever was, his reflection silent and judging. With a heavy sigh, he ran his fingers through his still disheveled hair, making it a bit better. He needed to take his morning medication, but it was in his trouser pocket back in the room. It always went down better with food, so perhaps he could convince Narcissa to leave the house and get breakfast. It was doubtful, so breakfast in bed might be the better option, if she’d even agree to eat. But it was a new day, and perhaps the sleep had done her some good.

Having wasted enough time, too much time really, Regulus nodded and headed back to the room, only to hear the unmistakable sound of sobbing as he approached. His heart sank to his gut, wondering what could have set her off already. He was in the door way in a flash, his eyes scanning the room for Narcissa when she wasn’t where he’d left her on the bed. They stopped when he saw her crumpled on the floor near her dresser, a phone pressed to her face. Had that asshole actually had the audacity to call her? Clearly a broken nose wasn’t a good enough hint. Regulus was down and crouched by her side in seconds, his good hand tentatively going for her shoulder. “Cissa … ?” He hadn’t even gotten to ask what was wrong when the device was all but thrown at him and Narcissa was out the door. With an increase in concern and a deep frown, Regulus held up the phone. “Who is this? What did you say to Cissa to upset her?”

He was already standing and following behind Narcissa, not wanting to leave her alone again. There was a pause and then a deep voice said his began, almost condending. “No, Regulus you did this. You-” Regulus’s eyes narrowed, cutting the man off. “Ex-fucking-cuse me? I have been here for her all night. I leave for one minute, and she’s crying. How am I the one-” This time, he was cut off. “Exactly. You left her. Again. Is that all you know how to do? Why are you even-” Regulus didn’t let him finish. He pulled the phone away and ended the call, snearing at the name Kingsley before the screen went dark. Setting it on the counter, he once again knelt down next to Narcissa, gently rubbing her back. “Hey, it’s all right. I’m here. I’m here.”

She knew when he stepped into the bathroom; she didn’t hear or see him - too busy vomiting for that - but she could feel him, just as she always could. Buried underneath the discomfort of being sick, there was a surge of relief that he had at least come to check on her. If nothing else, there was that. He joined her on the floor but Cissa couldn’t get anything out in reply to his statement, no matter how glad she was that he was there. The retching felt like it would last forever, but it ended, of course, and she dropped her head down to rest on her arm. Beside her, Reggie shifted and in moments he was pulling her up to wipe the clammy sweat from her face, and then up to her feet to rinse her mouth out at the sink. But she couldn’t face the walk, even as short as it was back to her room, and sank back to the floor. When he rejoined her, she adjusted her position so she could lay down, pillowing her head on his leg.

She was unaccountably tired, even after sleeping so well, but maybe that was the crying and throwing up - it had been a long time since she cried so hard she made herself sick, and now this was twice in two days, and she was sure Reggie was tired of it, and the crying in general. She moved, clutching at his hip with one hand, as if she could anchor him here with her despite how frustrated he must be with everything. “You - stay? Please -” Tears welled up again and she turned her head, pressing her face against his leg as she swallowed back a sob. She couldn’t keep crying on him like this. “I want - I’ll do - anything -” There had to be something that would be enough incentive for him to stay, but she was grasping at straws trying to think what it might be. He’d just left so abruptly from the bedroom and she didn’t understand why - except if he didn’t want her and she couldn’t blame him for that but sex was all they had left and she’d do whatever it took to keep him here.

“I’ll - eat, if you - if you want -” That had been such an important thing to him last night, and her appetite certainly hadn’t returned this morning but she’d stomach more toast if that would make him happy. Drawing in an unsteady breath, she rubbed her face and then resumed her grasp on his hip. “You - you can - you can fuck me - I-I-I’ll be fine.” Her gaze was focused blearily on the wall across from her, making it easier to ignore the way the words stuck in her throat. But they had to be true. She had always been fine, no matter what happened to her. Fawley was the worst, that was true, but surely she could - she could be herself. Or at least let Reggie have what he needed from her. She could manage that much. If she ignored how shallow her breathing was and the nausea curling in the pit of her stomach and the vice-like grip around her ribs -

Blinking to try and clear the haze from her eyes, she pushed herself up again and turned to face him. Her hands trembled as she reached to curl them around his shoulders but she ignored that too. If she could just make him believe her, that she’d be okay, then maybe he would stay and ignore all the crying and throwing up she’d done lately. She took in two deliberately slow breaths - the room was starting to spin a little again and she knew that meant she should try the breathing exercises but this first and then she’d see. “I’ll do - anything,” she repeated, making jerky little movements with her fingers, “just - just stay.” Her eyes darted up, not quite meeting his gaze, then settled on his throat again. “Anything.” Desperation crept into her voice and spurred her into moving again; she leaned in once, twice, a third time - she thought she could kiss him, surely that wasn’t too much, but then she couldn’t and pressed her face against his neck instead. But she steeled her nerves and reached for his good hand, pulling it to rest on her thigh and trying not to tense up.

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

“I already promised I would.” With a half smile, Regulus kissed her glittery hair, his good hand running gently along her spine. “Sleep. And I’ll still be here when you wake.” It was quite the feat that she did eat, little as it was. But still, it was something, and Regulus was grateful for it.

Narcissa was already nearly asleep, and it took no time before her breathing evened out, her body going slightly limp against him. He could feel the pull of sleep himself, but just as he was about to drift, he heard a sound, somewhere in the room. His eyes came into focus as he stared at the ceiling, recognizing it to be his phone, long forgotten and lost. It had been hours since he’d checked in with Sirius, and Regulus hadn’t told him he’d be staying the night with Narcissa, not that he knew for certain himself until recently.

There seemed to be a stream of incoming texts, and Regulus began to think of ways to slip out of bed and locate the damn thing, all without waking Narcissa. And at the moment, that seemed near impossible. The arm that was over him had already found its way to his hair, fingers tangled gently into it, her face burrowing deeper into his chest. If he had to guess, this was the the most restful she’d been in days, and she’d only just fallen asleep.

Regulus was spared the stress of figuring it out his escape, not that he wanted to leave his current position, when the room finally went silent. He exhaled slowly, hoping Sirius wouldn’t be sending all of Scotland Yard out looking for him. Come morning, he’d call and apologize. Probably have to buy him lunch, too. There was final message, and Regulus rolled his eyes before settling with Narcissa and letting sleep take him.

Whatever he’d been dreaming of, it must have been good. Regulus slowly woke with a deep rooted feeling he hadn’t had in some time, vaguely aware of his fingers digging into a hip, while his own ground slowly against something very soft. The sharp gasp and the sudden full consciousness had him freezing, barely wanting to breathe.

Reality crashed down on him as Regulus stared at the back of a glittery golden head, his body pressed very close to hers. Panic filled him, and he tried to think of what to do. This had been all but the norm the last time they’d spent the night together, those few days they stayed in the flat. But now, circumstances were drastically different, and this was the last thing Narcissa needed. He only hoped he hadn’t done more damage.

“Cissa? Shite. I’m sorry. I’m sosorry…” He swallowed thickly as he disconnected himself from her, nearly falling off the bed in his haste to do so. “I didn’t mean… Fuck.” The last word was muttered to himself as he now untangled his limbs from the sheet, slightly awkward with his casted hand. Finally finding the floor, he paused a moment, running his hand through his messy sleep hair. “I’m just going to… I’ll be right back… “ Then without another word, he strode to the bathroom.

Cissa woke up feeling perfectly warm, for once, and for a very brief moment before reality set in, perfectly happy as well. And then she remembered everything that had happened, and all the contentment and happiness at feeling Reggie pressed up against her faded away, replaced by queasiness. It was nothing like what had happened with Fawley but she couldn’t face anything right now and didn’t know how to say it. And - even if she did tell Reggie, what if he just left? All they had anymore was sex and if he thought she couldn’t do that now . . . she’d lose it if he left her again. Surely she could get through it - she could just let him do what he needed and it wouldn’t be a problem. 

But then he was awake and talking and moving. Cissa couldn’t process it as fast as he did, barely managing to sit up before he was at the door, and her faint whispered “Reggie -” came after his footsteps had sounded down the hall. A roaring filled her ears and she couldn’t even remember what he’d said; she knew he had said something but she couldn’t remember it, couldn’t even be sure she’d really heard him. Her breath came quicker and quicker until she was sobbing again, quietly but with the heartbroken certainty that Reggie had left and wasn’t coming back. Because why would he? She had fucked everything up, including herself, and there was no reason for him to be her with her.

The ringing of a phone pulled her from her thoughts and although she was still crying hysterically, Cissa managed to drag herself off the bed and rummage around the room. She found Reggie’s first, with an absurd number of texts waiting and although she realized it wasn’t her phone, she still caught a look at the most recent text from Siri before she managed to drop it. Her phone was on the dresser and she answered it without thinking, with a choked off “Hi.”

“Cissy?” It was Kingsley and the relief that swept through her made her sob even harder. She managed to gasp out the story between sobs and Kingsley’s attempts to calm her down. He kept talking but she couldn’t understand, and her head had started to spin - he told her to sit down and was trying to talk her through the breathing exercises that Andie had taught her but it wasn’t working and he finally said, “Cissy, I’ll be there in twenty minutes, can you -” 

He stopped because she let out a different type of sob. Reggie was in the doorway again and Cissa wailed softly, like she’d done when he’d appeared in the doorway. Kingsley made a strangled sound, and then said something but muffled - to Mary, maybe - and finally said more clearly, “Cissy, give the phone to him please.” She held the phone out wordlessly to Reggie, barely letting him get it in his hands before she stumbled to the door, her stomach heaving. She made it to the bathroom just in time, clutching the toilet as she emptied her stomach into it.

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

“Because of you.” Regulus repeated, his eyes closing against his will, the softest of moans following. No matter how many times Narcissa held him, it was always felt new, exciting. He could easily get lost in the feeling, knowing it wouldn’t take much to push him over the edge. He hummed his approval of her dress, only partial listening especially the bit about Malfoy, but when her hand paused, he opened his eyes again and blinked while clearing his throat.

“Yes, Cissy,” he gave a full smile, his free hand finding hers. “I love it. It will be a shame no one will know it’s you. You deserve to be worshiped in this.” Regulus’s eyes sparkled as he took in Narcissa’s form again, though his breathing was becoming more and more difficult. His brow twitched at her request, his smirk reemerging. “I won’t be responsible for what happens, once I start.” There was precious few minutes left before his house elf would be knocking, he was sure, but there was no way they’d be leaving this room before he had a taste of her.

The hand around her wrist that was in his trousers released, both hands moving to her waist to hold her closer. The mask was a bit tricky, but slowly, ever so slowly, he leaned in to her perfect neck, inhaling deeply at the perfume she had sprayed before gently gliding his lips along the stretch of skin, from jaw to collarbone. There was so much skin, and not nearly enough time. Of course, they were already late, so what was a few more minutes? Regulus grazed his teeth over the protruding bone, then climbed his kissing back up her neck to her earlobe. With a shaky exhale he chuckled, mingled with another moan, his ache nearly unbearable now. “I want to mark you, let everyone know you’re mine.” His voice was deep with lust against her ear, his fingers tightening in the fabric. “Especially Malfoy. He needs to know you will never be his.”

“You can still worship me and that’s all that matters.” Cissa liked to think she had become a lot better at hiding how much she was affected by Reggie - not that it was most likely true, of course, but she liked to think it. But her voice was far too breathless for that, the thought of Reggie worshipping her more than enough to distract from the thought of the masquerade they were expected to attend. Another breathless sound left her at the smirk on his face and her hand stuttered in the smooth stroking before she could pick it up again. The moments dragged as she waited for him to kiss her, and a whine was ready but then his lips landed on her neck and she let out a soft sigh. 

She really meant to keep touching him; ever since she’d made him burst out of the Great Hall after they got their OWL results, she’d wanted to get him that crazy again and this seemed like an ideal time to try it, since everyone was gone. But that only lasted until his teeth scraped so gently over her collarbone, and Cissa felt quite sure that she was about to completely dissolve into a puddle of goo. Her free hand moved to latch onto his shoulder, fingers digging in for support; her other hand continued in its actions, more shaky and erratic than it had been moments before. Her head spun in the most delicious way and she was already about to pull him back onto the bed, masquerade be damned. And then he spoke. Although Cissa would never claim to be a genius, she was fairly smart and knew how careful they had to be, the risks they took because of their love. But in this moment, she lost her head. None of it mattered right now. 

“Yes -” Her voice came out in a breathy whisper, a hint of a moan coloring it. She wanted them to know she was his, and she especially wanted Lucius Malfoy to know it. He’d never done anything but she had never liked how he looked at her. Especially now that she and Reggie were together. She let go of his length and instead curled her hand into his coat and tugged as she stumbled back to the bed. It was only a few steps but that was far too much at the moment. “Please - Reggie, I want -” It wasn’t fair that he’d done so little and she was already this wound up but that was how it worked. Someday she’d be better about teasing him but for now . . . She sat on the bed, scooting until she could lay back and tug up the layers of skirt and petticoat.

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

It felt like an eternity before Narcissa seemed to finally make her mind up for them to move to the bed. Regulus hadn’t minded though; if that’s what she needed, then so be it. The longer she clung to him, the more he was realizing how much she truly needed him, and how foolish he’d been before. She was in a much darker place than he could have imagined, and if he was her life line, then so be it. He’d stay as long as it took.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He repeated softly, and in many more forms, trying to give as much reassurance as possible. He’d already given up on her eating, as bad as he wanted her to. It could be a problem for tomorrow. For now, he just wanted her to feel safe, and to believe him that he was staying. Her tears hadn’t seemed to lessen once she’d started again, but Regulus didn’t think it was something she could even control at this point. It was another stab to his gut, the pain and torment she had to be in.

Their position on the bed wasn’t the most comfortable, more so for her, but Narcissa seemed content enough, and he pulled the sheet and comforter around them. She had to be exhausted, even if it was early, but sleep would be the best thing at this point. Regulus wasn’t sure if he’d get any, but he wouldn’t move, regardless. She needed him, and for once, he’d be here for her, giving her exactly what she wanted. His arms moved around her, gently trying to soothe her, occasionally twisting enough to kiss her hair or any skin he could find, and he wouldn’t stop until he knew for certain she was asleep, finding some semblance of peace.

This was better. Cissa was warmer now, and felt calmer and more settled. Grounded. The touching and kissing did far more to soothe her than anything had up to this point, she thought. The warmth and background noise lulled her into sleep, although she stirred some time later when Heathcliff came in. He and Reggie were talking softly over her head and she shifted only enough to meet his eyes for a brief moment before burying her face against Reggie’s neck again. She hadn’t understood them but somehow it wasn’t surprising when Heathcliff came back a few minutes later with a much smaller tray. “Toast and broth, Miss Cissa.”

Stirring again, she blinked to focus her eyes better and sighed. He’d done this every time she was ill since he came to work with them. And several times after the truth about her father came out, when she was beside herself with confusion and grief. And for a week after the incident with Bulstrode when she couldn’t stomach any more food than that. And where she could argue with Reggie, who hadn’t been here for so long, who had left her, it was much harder to argue with Heathcliff, who had been there for everything. And this time Reggie was holding her, and she didn’t feel like she was spinning off into space alone. “All right,” she murmured and shifted again. Heathcliff smiled and swept out of the room as she reached for the toast - he’d cut it into quarters for her and she managed to get it down. And Reggie helped her hold the bowl of broth steady - it was so small it could hardly be called a bowl, really. When that was gone, there was a cup of tea and Reggie helped with that too because at this point, Cissa was half asleep again and sure she would have spilled it everywhere.

When it was gone, Reggie put the cup back on the tray and said something quiet about getting more comfortable. She could hardly argue with that, and could hardly keep her eyes open anyway so it didn’t matter. She let him adjust both of them and just curled into him when he was still, resting her head on his chest so she could hear his heartbeat and draped her arm over him. “You’re going to stay? I ate. I want - I want you to stay. Please.”

[babyblackxprincess]

babyblackxprince‌:

She was still annoyed, but Regulus could tell he was getting to her. Narcissa didn’t take his hand, but light smack was more playful than not, which made him chuckle softly. He tried to grab after her, but he came up empty. But before he could try something else, Narcissa’s head appeared.

It was hard to form words at the sight, even small, of her. Her mask covered most of her face, and her hair … was pink? Regulus’s eyes widened, his smirk growing to a wide smile. By the time he even processed that Narcissa had asked him a question, she was giving orders and he blinked before he scrambled to obey. He readjusted his mask twice as he stepped back, eyes closed tight. If she was that stunning with a peak at the mask and hair, he couldn’t even imagine what he was about to see.

When Narcissa gave the word, Regulus found he still couldn’t open his eyes right away. The anticipation was killing him, but he took a deep breath, readying himself. Finally, he did, and his heart nearly stopped. He didn’t know where to look, scanning her constantly. “Good lord, Cissy. I was wrong. You’re not perfect, you’re a complete vision. Am I sleeping? Because this must be a dream.” He lifted his mask then, wanting to make sure he could fully see her. His focus kept trailing back to her neck though, so slim and delicate, and easily one of his favorite features of hers. “And how did Aunt Druella allow such a revealing gown?” It was definitely more skin than she’d shown in public before, but Regulus loved every inch of it, and so would his lips.

His fascination was short lived, however, as Narcissa waved an impatient hand and repeated the question with a bit more edge. “Oh, right. Well, it’s better if  I show you.” His smile easily slide back to a smirk as he set his mask back in place and took the few steps to stop just in front of her then took her hand and slide it past the opening of his trousers. “That has only just happened, by the way.” Regulus could feel the blood rushing south against Narcissa’s hand, his brow twitching. “Because of you.” He found her eyes behind her mask, biting his lip.

Her face grew warm and Cissa knew she was blushing but she didn’t mind. She loved it when he complimented her, and especially right now, when she felt so nervous about her dress. But she was more curious about what he meant about his trousers at the moment and very glad when he finally moved past all the complimenting to explain himself - she would be very happy to direct the conversation back to compliments later. Her heart fluttered as he smirked and moved closer - they’d been able to spend time together in the last few weeks, though not as much as at school, and it wasn’t near enough to keep her from feeling an inordinate amount of excitement at something so simple. 

“You -” Her breath caught in her throat as she curled her fingers around him; if they had more time, she would be very happy to drag him to the bed for now but she knew Kreacher would be returning far too quickly. She intended to enjoy what time they had left though. Her hand moved slowly, stroking him as she looked at him through her lashes. “Because of me?” No matter how many times he told her things like that, she never got enough of hearing. “You like the dress? Aunt Wally came and talked Mother into it, and she said it didn’t matter how low cut it was since it’s a masquerade, and Father said he didn’t care so long as I danced with Lucius Malfoy -” That stopped the rush of words that come quicker and quicker, her tone pitching higher with her excitement. Until the mention of Lucius Malfoy, which certainly did not make her happy. But she had no intention of dancing with him, when it was a masquerade and he would have no idea who he was dancing with and this was one of the only chances she and Reggie would have to spend an entire party together.

Wrinkling her nose, she continued quickly. “But none of it matters so long as you like it. That’s why I wanted it. And I think . . .” She let out a giggle. “I think I was right. She should have stopped already but it was too exciting, although she didn’t know how she would make it all the way through the masquerade now. “I want you to kiss me here, Reggie.” Biting her lip, she tilted her head to the side to expose her neck. That had been one of her first thoughts when she picked the dress - her neck would be very open for kissing. And then she had thought of all the skin of her chest that would also be very open for kissing and now that he was here in front of her, that was all that she could think of.