babybird

[babybird]

To: professor@schoolname.edu Subject: CLASS3290 Question

are you mad at me

[babybird]

im just fucking with you my liege

[babybird]

I'll block a bitch on letterboxd I'll block a bitch on airbuds widget I'll block a bitch on goodreads I'll block a bitch on microsoft teams

[babybird]

[babybird]

sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.

you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.

[babybird]

Daily schedule:

Wake up on the problematic side of the bed

Eat a harmful breakfast

Log onto tumblr and reblog posts from abusive mutuals

Attend narcissistic classes

Watch an irredeemable movie

Listen to offensive music

Eat a cancelled dinner

Go to sleep derogatorily

Have dreams that will have aged poorly by the time I wake up

[babybird]

unpopular opinion but i think a ship that's not canon but both halves are canonically insane about each other is infinitely better than a ship that's canon and boring

[babybird]

people will claim to be filled with whimsy and joy for life but then hate musicals……. the vile tongue of man will never cease lying

[babybird]

Me: yeah in the future we make fun of hipsters again. But we don't call them that, we call them "guys into stomp clap hey" and joke about how they like mediocre overpriced burgers and make podcasts

The 2010s fandom blogger I time traveled to, visibly shaking: can we please go back to that thing you said about destiel

[babybird]

[babybird]

[babybird]

[babybird]

A very nice cat just greeted me like an old friend and escorted me from the bus stop to the shop while meowing conversationally and keeping perfect pace with me the whole way which was already incredibly charming but then it also waited on the corner by the shop, shouted to get my attention when I got out, and then chattered away while walking me back to the bus stop and demanded 5 minutes of little cheek scritches before wandering off into the night?? Who was he. Missed connections me 25M you cat of indeterminate age or gender interests nighttime walks do you wanna hang out again some time

[babybird]

“Shall you be the one with me, ever eternally?”

[babybird]

you're just jealous because they draw me with shark teeth to indicate my rowdy personality

[babybird]

i luv gouache… and i luv tigers…. so here’s a gouache tiger!!

[babybird]

folks, they're saying it's the highest score a body has ever kept