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b4ll4d33r-06 · 13 days ago

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Development of Karushuu with incorrect quotes

(some of these are possibly done before, but they're part of the story, so... sorry?)

Karma: Hi, I'm Akabane Karma. And you are? Gakushuu, thinking: *questioning my sexuality*

Karma: My love language is being irritating. Karma: *proceeds to annoy Gakushuu*

Gakushuu: You're really campaigning for Asshole of the Year, aren't you? Karma: As the defending champion, are you nervous?

Gakushuu: I'm not looking for trouble. Karma: What a horrible way to live.

Gakushuu: I feel bad for whoever is going to end up with you. Karma: It’s too early for self-pity Gakushuu: ...what? Karma: what?

Ren: Why are you claiming you're not interested in anyone? We all know you’re in love with him. Gakushuu: I am not in love with Akabane, shut up! Ren: I never said who. Gakushuu: ... Gakushuu: Fuck, ok, hold on, listen here-

Karma: Just to clarify Karma: Is this considered fighting or flirting? Gakushuu: My hands are literally around your neck. Karma: ... Karma: You know that tells me nothing right?

Gakushuu, thinking of Karma: it’s like a game of Fuck, Marry, Kill, and he’s all three.

3-E and 3-A are playing truth or dare: Gakushuu: Truth or dare? Karma: Truth Gakushuu: I dare you to kiss me Karma: *leaning in for a kiss* Ha, you better believe I'm not about to lose to you, ace-kun The rest of class A: The rest of class E: What the hell, he didn't even choose dare

Gakushuu: I’m in love with you. Karma: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, idiot. Gakushuu: I know. Karma: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Gakushuu: Akabane, your legs look great in those jeans. Karma: You should see me without them ;) Gakushuu: Gakushuu: Why, and how, would you take off your legs? Karma: ...you're misunderstanding on purpose, aren't you? Gakushuu: Don't be grammatically vague if you don't like that.

Gakushuu: You know, Ren gives his girlfriend flowers every other day. It'd be nice if you did that too sometimes... Karma: ok *the next day* Karma: *gives Ren's (current) girlfriend flowers* Ren's girlfriend: ??? Karma: I don't know, I'm confused as well (Gakushuu, to Ren who's mad about Karma hitting on his girl: Did he misunderstand on purpose or is he really that dumb? I don't even know)

Gakushuu: Karma, can you do something for me? Karma: I would literally cover up a murder for you, plant my DNA at the scene, and take the blame for the crime. Gakushuu: Great. Can you do the dishes? Karma: No.

Karma, on the phone: Nagisa, can I come over right now? Nagisa: Why? Karma: Shuu is passive-aggressively doing the dishes he asked me to do yesterday Karma: this ship isn’t safe anymore

Gakushuu: Why is there a tube of wasabi in the shower? Karma: Oh, that's just my shower wasabi.

Gakushuu, walking into the kitchen: Is something burning? Karma, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my love and desire for you. Gakushuu: Gakushuu: I can see the fire on the stove behind you.

Gakushuu: Hey, I was just wondering... what would you do if I broke up with you? Karma: I would go back to my ex. Gakushuu: Gee, thanks. I see I mean a lot to you. It’s over. Karma: Hey, wanna go out? Gakushuu: Go with your ex. Karma: You are my ex.

Gakushuu: Karma and I- Gakuhou: Are getting married!? Gakushuu: No, we- Gakuhou, pulling out a giant binder: Sit down. I’ve planned out the entire thing.

Gakushuu: I was attracted to you first. Karma: I kissed you first. Gakushuu: Only cause I told you to. And I said I loved you first. Karma: *gets down on one knee* I proposed first. Gakushuu: Well, I... wait whAT.

At the wedding: priest: you may now kiss Karma's mother: *looks at her husband* we did good Karma's father: damn right we did Karma's mother: *starts crying * sorry it’s just- Gakuhou: *tearing up too* they grow so fast Karma's mother: *full on bawling* I know, I know Karma to Gakushuu: ...what exactly do they think they did?

Karma: Have you given any additional thought to killing our parents? Gakushuu: ...Karma, don't.... Karma: I'm just rather fond of the idea. Gakushuu: Could we please just enjoy our honeymoon without plotting patricide? Karma: Don't marry an assassin if you can't handle a little bit of murder before breakfast

Karma: We need more excitement in our lives Gakushuu: Being married to you is all the excitement I can handle.

Nagisa: So how's it going, being a father? Karma: Better than I thought it would. I didn't expect this much crying, though. Nagisa: Don't worry, it's normal with babies. Karma: What? The baby's fine. I was talking about Shuu. Gakushuu, sobbing in the nursery: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Karma: I'm sneaking broccoli into the mac and cheese so the children don't know they're eating vegetables. That's what being an adult is all about. Helping children... through lies. Gakushuu: Well, it's not just the children. I've been sneaking vegetables into your food for years now. Since even before we got married. Karma: What?!

Teacher: Your child was in a fight. Karma & Gakushuu: Did they win?

random person: The way you two bicker, one could think you're an old married couple! Gakushuu: We are an old married couple. Karma: Did you just call us old?

Gakushuu: What’s the point of being old if you can’t beleaguer the young with your vast stories of wisdom? their grandchild: What’s the point of being young if you can’t ignore all the advice? Karma: That's my girl. :)

(I was supposed to do stuff. Then I started working on my wips. And then I started doing this. Procrastination on procrastination. Go me.)

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b4ll4d33r-06 · 13 days ago

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"Say" Karma asks with his eternal strawberry milk in hand "are you a cat person or a dog person ?"

Gakushuu doesn't even bother to look at him. It's been month now that Akabane daily hangs around him, starts absurd conversation just for the love of it, and jumps on every single occasion to compete with him. Gakushuu is kinda used to it now, but he has yet developed a skill to fully ignore the boy.

"I'm a cat person myself, you know. I think cats suit you too."

Gakushuu doesn't answer, even if he knows that he eventually will have to. Akabane never gives up with his weird questions. He's only putting things off.

"Well I guess dogs are more convenient to you, since you love giving orders and everything. I mean, you're a leader, you want loyalty, dogs are great with that."

Gakushuu sighs. He's only trying to eat his bento in peace, but peace is a complicated things to reach when Akabane Karma is in your life.

"Are you going to write an essay about wether dogs or cats are more suits to me ?"

"Well I would if you don't answer, I have to make my own conclusion. So, dogs or cats ?"

".... Neither."

Karma rolls his eyes and puts his drink down on Asano's desk. Because of course he was sitting in front of him, he specifically came to disturb Gakushuu during the lunch break. It began a month after the start of the school year. At first it was one day every two weeks, then one per week, then three, then every day. The whole class was also used to it now, the weird rivalry-friendship-flirtous relation they have. Gakushuu still finds that annoying.

"You can't say that ! If you have to choose between a dog or a cat, what would you take ?"

"I don't know. Does it matter? I don't have a preference."

"Of course it matters !! How can you say something so stupid ?! It means everything ! It kinda define your personality but go off I guess !"

As usual, Akabane is dramatic. Gakushuu sighs again. Why such a fuss about a simple question ?

"I have never had a pet." He doesn't even know why he tries to explain himself. Isn't he allowed to just not have a preference? "I don't know what they're like."

"What ? How could you nev- Oh. Yeah. I guess your dad isn't the type to offer you a cat for Christmas."

"No, he really isn't." But the mental image makes him smile. Internally, of course. Can't be seen showing emotions when Akabane's looking.

"Well you don't need to actually have a pet to know which one you prefer. Imagine, a few years in the future, you live in your own apartment and you have a good job and enough money. You can do whatever you want, even adopt a pet. What would you choose then ?"

Asano thinks about it, he even stops eating to visualize the picture. What would he choose, if he can have anything ?

"I don't know."

"Asano."

"What ? I really don't ! Why should I like one better than the other ?"

Abakane seemed genuinely exasperated, he couldn't believe what he heard. How can a person not have a preference! It's a crime ! He should put the strawberry blonde under arrest, but he isn't a cop, and Gakushuu would probably be out in a matter of hours. He's way too perfect to stay in jail.

"Look at that" Karma shows him his phone, "and tell me that does nothing to you !"

It's a picture of a black and white cat stretching. Gakushuu looks unimpressed, which only increases Akabane's outrage. The red-haired boy keeps scrolling his phone to shows pictures and video of cats and kittens, trying to get a reaction from Asano. But the only thing Gakushuu does, beside frowning, is commenting a simple "okay I guess."

"YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD, THE FUCK YOU MEAN 'OKAY I GUESS' ????"

"Don't yell and don't swear."

He realized then that the whole class -more precisely the remaining students who don't eat at the cafeteria- were listening, and now looking at them. Hell he hates when Akabane makes a scene like this.

"Those are the most beautiful and cute and perfect creatures that have ever existed, and you DARE to say that they're only okay ???? What kind of psychopath are you !?"

"It's a pet Akabane. Besides, between us, you're the psycho one."

"A pet- A PET HE SAID. CATS ARE FUCKING GODS AN-"

"Oh my god, shut up, will you ? I didn't said I don't like cats, I just... I don't know."

It's Karma's turn to sigh. The boy is looking at him as if he was an alien inable to communicate with a human language. Gakushuu stares back. He isn't the weird one, he convinces himself, there's no problem in not liking pets.

"So dogs it is then ?"

"Well, uh... Not really. I don't particularly like dogs either."

That's when Ren joined the conversation. He hands his own phone which shows the Instagram page of one of his friend. A girl and her dog running in the snow. It was a pretty cute picture.

"Here, what do you think about it ?" Ren asks with a fake innocentsmile. He is clearly up to something and Asano doesn't like that. He feels like they're making an alliance against him. Akabane lean toward them to see the picture and Asano's reaction.

"Hm" said Gakushuu after looking at the screen for 5 long seconds. Ren laughed, Gakushuu frowns, and Karma protests.

"The FUCK you mean-"

"Stop swearing I said. You're insufferable."

"And you're fucking weird. How can you not react ? Do you have a heart ?"

Asano shrugs. He takes his bento and starts eating again, ignoring the look everyone is giving to him. Honestly, he's kinda satisfied to see the annoying human nuisance sighs. Karma seems desperate and the fact that the roles are reversed is extremely funny to him.

"You cannot not love pets." Karma groans.

"Well, obviously I can."

Ren gets closer with his chair and puts his own food on Asano's desk.

"You're neither a cat or a dog person but there must be a pet you like." He assumes with a thoughtful face.

"What are you doing ?" Gakushuu stares with murderous eyes. His childhood friend laughed it off nervously.

"I'm just curious ! I never got to know your favourite animal, that's all."

"Maybe I don't have one."

"That's sad" points out Akabane. "Or maybe you love hamster but you're ashamed of it."

This time Gakushuu sighs again. He sighs often when Akabane is around, and that means everyday since the beginning of the year.

"Well a little mouse maybe ?"

"No" Asano deadpans.

"Ew" Sakakibara comments.

"They're cute tho," Karma protests. "Wait I'm showing you a picture."

"My sister has an hamster." claims Koyama while handing his own phone.

Asano looks at it but doesn't say anything, fully aware that everyone was waiting for him to react. It's not that he dislikes being when people stares at him, they always do, but he isn't the kind of person who talk about themself. His father always reminds him to give private information carefully because we never know what people might do with that. And, well, he's father is not the best role model, but it's the only one he has.

However, the main problem right know is that Asano really doesn't know what pet he likes. Cats and hamsters and dogs may indeed be cute if you take the definition of the word, he can see that, but he doesn't feel any particular affection toward them by looking at those pictures.

"Well ?" asks Karma, staring at him curiously as if he's trying to read his soul -and he probably is.

"What ?" Asano really has nothing to say, and it shows. "Well, it's alive."

"Gods can you hear yourself ? You're the worst human alive." Karma takes back his strawberry milk and starts drinking obnoxiously.

"We should try mice then" Akira proposes. "You said you'd show a picture Akabane."

The cat lover looks up to him but before he could answer, another students appeared next to Asano's desk. Apparently, their classmates, who listened to the entire conversation since the beginning, took the Virtuosos' intervention as an autorization to join the debate as well. The most brave of them, a blonde girl with round glasses, gives her phone to Asano to show him a picture of three little mice.

"Th-their names are Iku, Aki and Uka" she mumbles.

"Oh. Well... Okay ?"

Akabane slams his drink against the desk.

"That fucking 'okay' again, is that the only word you know ?"

"I don't know what you're expecting from me !!" Gakushuu finally snaps.

"A fucking human reaction ! Is that too much to ask ?? When I look at cats, I'm like 'awwwwwww so cute I want to adopt them and cuddle them and feed them' but YOU don't give a shit about those little fluffy angels and I don't know how you can be so heartless !! Do you ever feel anything ? Are you a robot ?"

"I do feel things, thanks" Asano grunts. "I'm just not a pet person."

"All pets are differents, there's plenty races of cats and dogs. Maybe you could like one." Sakakibara fully ignores the deathly glare Asano has and keeps going. "Like a golden retriever and a bulldog are nothing alike."

After those words, in a matter of three minutes, the whole class gather around the poor student representative to show every pictures of their pets. There are plenty of cats and dogs from all races and age and Asano quickly lose control of the situation (not like he ever had it in the first place). He doesn't know where to look at, he's fully surrounded and is forced to stop eating again.

Despite that, he still doesn't really react to what he sees, and Akabane is know completly convinced that his rival is a future serial killer. Asano tries to reach his bestfriend for help, but Sakakibara is too busy trying to not laugh to hard to do anything. Betrayed by his right hand man, Asano turns toward the other Virtuosis, but they're no help either.

And that is the moment when the teacher comes back to class, only to see his students all gathered around Gakushuu's desk with their phones out.

Gakushuu is of course the first one to notice, and immediately stands up to greet him and to tell everyone to go back to their place. They groan but obey. Except, of course, Akabane.

"What happened here ?" Asks the teacher out of curiosity.

"Asano said he never had a pet before so we're trying to guess what he could like."

Gakushuu glares at Karma, who shrugs with a smile.

"He said he's neither a cat or dog person" Karma continues, "but he must be something."

Asano expected the teacher to dismiss the boy for starting irrelevant conversation, and to remind the class to stay serious about the work and everything. He certainly didn't expected him to hum with an amused smile and to answer "I knew someone once who had a bird pet. Do you like feathers Asano-kun ?"

He really doesn't expect that. What was he even supposed to answer ? And why was the teacher joining the circus ?

"I... Don't think so ? Birds are louds." Gakushuu explains finally, but he doesn't seem really sure about that. Karma notices and grins when he gets up to go back to his own desk.

"I guess they are." The teacher opens his binder to the lesson he prepared. "Well, you guys should talk about this outside of class hours. Let's continue where we stopped..."

Gakushuu is clearly relieved to go back to a serious subject appropriate for school. Little does he know that Akabane has no intention to stop this debate.

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