b00gielights

[b00gielights]

[b00gielights]

Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

[b00gielights]

elon musk is like if you distilled the essence of 2010 “you, sir, win the most epic of upvotes” reddit and put it into the body of a wealthy peanut factory owner from 1835 london who exclusively employed 5 year old orphans

[b00gielights]

first day as a small-town sherif and you discover that some of the convicts you're transporting managed to escape in the night and since the penalty for letting prisoners escape is death, and the penalty for being late because you were looking for escaped prisoners is also death, you decide to free ALL of them and go hide out in the wilderness for a bit, except the convicts are super grateful so they make you their leader and it turns out they're decent guys who were exploited by a tyrannical government, so long story short you're crowd-sourcing for a peasant uprising and would anyone like to chip in?

3650th day and due to a series of unforeseen events you are now the emperor and founder of the han dynasty.

[b00gielights]

wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating

[b00gielights]

This little one acts completely feral unless you make the "mommy greeting kittens" noise at them. When my phone isn't making them unsure they will come charging to the front of the cage for attention by the second trill.

You can see the body language change in the ears with the first and second trill real well

[b00gielights]

[b00gielights]

My coworker asked me a question about Queer culture the other day and it was a really good question but I couldn’t think of a polite way to tell them that they didn’t have the foundational knowledge required to support full comprehension of the answer

[b00gielights]

At their core, these people are bullies. The cruelty is the point.

[b00gielights]

Y'all eat black eye peas on new years?

[b00gielights]

/hj is the funniest earnest tonetag in the world even without the handjob joke because it's ostensibly meant to clarify tone for autistic people, but the tone it's clarifying is "unreadable level of ambiguous seriousness that requires social context beyond what text can convey /glhffgt"

[b00gielights]

Oh, and by the way, that Supreme Court ruling is where that Harry Potter money goes.

[b00gielights]

this is how I sit to use the computer, yes it causes spinal damage

[b00gielights]

hey! donate to uk trans charities today because it’s gonna be a rough one

[b00gielights]

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑

[b00gielights]

it wasn't ever normal that you guys were getting coffee for cheaper than people in Brazil and Colombia (the producers) do though, I hope you know that