me (to a private investigator): I’ll pay you $2000 to follow this dog around and text me everything he does
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me: *gets really sad and has an emotional breakdown*
me, ten minutes later: lmao that was so fuckin lame
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my hand looks like its not my hand maybe a blanket
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absence and lack of communication makes the heart idealize a person and subconsciously twist one’s perception of them into something greater than they really are
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