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axliconss · 6 years ago

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No one would had ever imagined Bill Bailey turned Mr. Axl Rose would become a father at the early age of 23 years old, no one back home in Lafayette, Indiana that is. In midst of the bullies, kids who poked fun at him for being the nerdy bookworm, the dorky ‘smart kid’, the kid who couldn’t ever catch a girl’s attention. Not in a million years. Then again, they would had never imagined he’d be in L.A making music and actually getting that very recognition they thought he could never receive either. Now, the girls around the strip and guys, would probably expect Axl to get a girl pregnant from a one nightstand. But…that isn’t the case. The redhead found the love of his lifetime in that corner in an L.A club one January, not very many January’s ago at all. A blue dress, a mess of dark curly hair frame her oval face, the dark hair and color of blue that complemented her crazy-beautiful azure eyes. Sky blue, mesmerizing blue. She had the personality of an angel, way her voice was softer than a sweet melody, her name…Erin…would roll off the tongue like honey. It fit her well, like she was made to be named something so light and graceful. But just like him, she had something troubling about her. Erin wasn’t all perfect. Good intentions, a big heart, but definitely flawed.

It’s why he’s struggling so hard at being a single father. This wasn’t meant to happen, not so soon. But one night of making up without protection led them here and neither of them was about to think about abortion no matter how unprepared they were and still are. Axl’s at a battle with himself, he’s much too young, the chaotic frontman trying to figure the world out himself, let alone at this fathering thing. It’s surreal to think he even is a father, surreal to look beside his bed and see a tiny baby either grinning up at him, giggling or crying for his attention in her crib. A little girl that has a mixture of both of their features, his red hair and Erin’s beautiful blue eyes. He sees a lot of her mother in her features. Eris Hope Rose. Eris, he loved that name because it resembled Erin’s and the meaning behind Hope is everything the little bundle of joy is. Hope for him, the daily reminder that there’s always hope and how she’s came and saved him in every way. Every time he sees them though, it reminds him why he’s so angry. He ran Erin away after one fight after too many of her provoking him, a whole court ordeal was about to go down if she didn’t, another conflict to add to the fire was when she told him she finally had her big break at her career but it was across the country in New York and suddenly he felt like she cared for neither of them, so there’s quite a few reasons why he told her to get gone.

Why she’s STILL gone.

This is what life is though, like it or not. Axl’s just dragged himself in at 3 AM from working a local gig down on the Sunset Strip, the sitter has just left and the baby is crying no more louder than she possibly could cry. All the other guys were giving him a hard time, telling him he’s such a bummer having to run home for a ‘baby’, not staying for the partying. The life of rock and roll. Drugs, booze and sex. Well, those days are over. The boy turned into a man over night has alas learned the hard way. He’s not proud of himself for a lot of things, but this…this is one. Coming home, avoiding all of it and realizing she’s not /just/ a baby. She’s his responsibility now. He’s cladded in leather pants, leather jacket, cowboy boots, a blue bandana and all of his accessories. Rings, snake skin belt, his shiny cross necklace. But the redhead is still here in the cruddy kitchen of his shitty apartment, despite his appearance and the career he pursues, fixing up a warm bottle for his child. He’s doing his damned best.

The young father trails back towards his room once the bottle is ready, picking Eris up from her crib and walking to the living room with her in his arms. Sitting down in a recliner, it’s ripped and torn, it’s not much, but it still rocks. His bangles clang, holding the baby in one arm while his free one guides the rubber nipple into her mouth. It works immediately in soothing her crying and Axl smiles, times like these he can’t help but find it easy. If only it was always this easy. “You sure wear me out, Eris.” Axl speaks to her, chuckling tiredly. “But..it’s okay. One day, da-da is gonna have enough money where he only has to work on the days when he wants. One day, daddy is gonna have you a big room. Us a big nice home, it’ll be cozy and you’ll love it. And you’ll have a big yard to play in with a biiig swing set. Maybe we’ll have a puppy too!” Excitedly speaking to her for her benefit, watching her content eyes turn happy as her cheeks dimple in a cheesy smile while she sucks on the bottle at her father’s demeanor. “That sounds great, doesn’t it?” Axl mirrors her sweet smile, nodding. Glancing up at their current surroundings though, he sighs at the room. Chipped paint on every wall, dirty carpet although he tries to keep it vacuumed even if there’s nothing he can do about the stains, an old ugly wooden couch from the 70s splashed in orange and brown patterns against the window in front of the red recliner he’s sitting in now, a tiny window air conditioner over by the balcony door that doesn’t even open without having to shake it open with some strength. The air barely puts out but it helps some. And a tiny television next to it against the wall that plays about five free channels, but at least a few channels for babies and children comes on them so it gives something to entertain Eris with in the mornings.

Once the strawberry haired baby is finished with her bottle, Axl burps her and then takes the empty bottle to wash it out. “Okay, baby. Time for sleep so dad can get a bath.” He’s ridiculously soft when it comes to her, he didn’t even know he could be so gentle until she came into the world honestly. Eris isn’t having it though, her belly is full but she’s ready to romp when Axl trails back through the small apartment, into his bedroom and slowly puts her down in her crib that Vicky, his past manager was nice enough to get for him because he sure couldn’t afford it. The baby begins to whine the second the bigger redhead let’s her go and turns away, cracking into a noisy cry already and Axl’s only had time to get a new pair of underwear out. “Eris, I’m right here. Daddy’s not gonna leave you.” Sighing, turning back around to tend to her, he knows she won’t understand though so he has no choice but to pick her up. The crying immediately stops once she’s back in her father’s arms, Axl wipes the wetness on her cheeks away with his thumbs, “Now what am I gonna do with you?” Sighing again, trying to think of ideas but he has none. Attempting to place her back into her crib, Eris’s chubby legs begin to kick and another angry cry emits from her, she doesn’t want to be alone even for a second. Axl lifts her again, beginning to get frustrated himself. “I have to get a bath some way, somehow. I stink like shit.” Groaning, head falling backwards. “Sorry. Don’t repeat that.” Realizing he shouldn’t say any curses around her, he doesn’t want to have a child repeating after him once she does get a little older and knows what he’s saying and can talk herself.

Walking to the bathroom, flipping the light on, Axl tries to get some new ideas but nothing. What the fuck does a parent do when no one else is around to watch their child when they need to shower? Axl decides to go back into his room, taking off three of the pillows from his bed and some toys from it before he walks back to the bathroom and closes the door, that’ll keep her from escaping at least. Placing the pillows down on the rug, he makes her a comfy little spot before placing Eris on top and placing the bear that was Erin’s that she left behind on top of her lap. “Play with Bubsy, he wants some attention.” Axl coos, making him dance before she giggles, tiny hands grabbing for the fluffy bear and finds it entertaining for a second. At least long enough for the singer to escape from all the leather, shedding every piece of clothing that smells like smoke and sweat until he’s naked. Pulling off the blue bandana around his head, the necklace, his bracelet and rings, Axl places them on the counter before he turns and finally begins to run the bath water that he’s in much need of. Grabbing his cloth, he gets to step into the nice shower for a brief moment until Eris is whining for him after he’s disappeared behind the curtain.

The bear is long disregarded, Eris crawls to the wall of the tub and tries pushing herself up on her feet. Axl senses her and hears the fussing which has him groaning in stress but amusement too, “This kid just won’t let me rest.” Speaking to himself, pulling the curtain back and finding a little redhead staring up at him wanting in. Is he seriously going to have to even put her in the tub? When he’s right here. “Alright, little Rosebud. You win.” Axl sits down on his knees, pushing the curtain back a little so he can unbutton her purple onesie, laying her on her back to remove her diaper and lifting his child up. “I guess you need a bath anyway.” Since she had a bit of an accident before he left for his gig earlier. “You’re so cute.” Chuckling as he lets her back get wet, holding her to his chest. Cute cause she’s all grins and happiness now that she’s back with him, not even that far apart and she wasn’t satisfied until he was holding her. What a daddy’s girl, makes him grin ear to ear. Tiny hand grabs his wet hair, still finding it fun to pull even when soaked. “Ow. Not so hard.” Wincing, laughing regardless though. Axl takes the cloth, getting it wet, picking up the pink Johnson & Johnson bottle to squeeze out some baby soap, placing it down and beginning to rub the cloth gently into her skin. Running the cloth over her baby-smooth back, chuckling all the while as her father bathes her as she has her own fun in the rain of the water, clapping her small hands underneath it and finding it as the most interesting thing ever. Once he’s got her body clean, Axl lastly takes the cloth to her little feet, “Gotta get the little piggies good and clean now.” Laughing at her giggling, giving them a wiggle, making sure they get good and sudsy before he’s finished. Rinsing her off, washing all the soap away, all that’s left is her hair. Reaching down to squeeze some baby shampoo into his palm, Axl begins scrubbing that in next.

Careful not to get it in her eyes before he holds her underneath the water, shielding her eyes and rinsing the soap. She doesn’t like it too much, but luckily it doesn’t take too long. “Okay, all done. You’re a clean baby now.” Smiling, now it’s his turn. Scrubbing bar soap back into his cloth, he starts on his face, over his shoulders and arms, switching Eris in different arms to get the other before switching her back, his torso and then his lower parts before he’s finished. Dancing underneath the water as he rinses off, he’s successful in getting more giggles from Eris. Hearing her cackle is the best sound ever, no other song or sound even compares. What a dad does to get the job done is pretty amazing since he starts on washing his hair with only one hand, lathering soap into it the best way he knows how and scrubbing it until his whole head is clean with shampoo which is tiring with just one hand. Getting it completely rinsed out alas, he’s relieved once the soap is all gone. He finally can get out of here.

Hand reaching down to turn the knobs off, finger pressing down on the stem to switch the shower head to the faucet so the next time he turns it on it won’t drown his head. Leaving the cloth on the ledge, the wet redhead pushes the curtain back and steps out. Grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist and grabbing another towel for Eris, drying her off until she’s good and dry. Keeping her wrapped up in the towel so she doesn’t get cold, Axl lets her sit on her bed of pillows on the floor until he can dry off himself. Soaking up all the wet beads that dot his porcelain skin until he’s dry too, wrapping his hair up in the towel he pulls on his underwear next, applying deodorant before he’ll start on his face. Rubbing the shaving cream he picks up into the stubble until half of his face is covered in cream, grabbing his razor next and taking a few minutes to carefully remove the hair from his face. Once it’s completed that task, he cups water in his palms, rinsing any of the left over hairs and shaving cream along with his razor before putting that up and getting his toothbrush out.

Axl finishes another three minutes later before he picks up Eris, the bear and the pillows up, flipping the light off and taking everyone and everything back to the tiny bedroom. Throwing the pillows and the bear on his bed, Eris is watching everything her father does before her blue eyes land on the new diaper and onesie Axl is getting out. Sitting down on the foot of the bed, unwrapping the baby from her towel, he’s unfolding the diaper before placing it under her bottom and folding it over in the front. Finally, he’s gotten good at it after it took a thousand attempts to get putting a diaper on right. Taping the sides, he pats her legs once he’s completed the task in less than a minute. Grinning proudly at himself, he’s getting her tiny feet and hands through the onesie with little rose petals and bunnies on it, buttoning her up, planting a kiss to her forehead and she’s finally free from the annoying task of being dressed. “Well, I can already tell you’re not sleeping in your crib tonight so I might as well make your bed here.” Which he gets to work on, barricading all the sides in with chairs so she can’t fall out while he’s asleep, finishing up within a few more minutes.

Hands slide underneath her arms, picking Eris up and laying her down next to his side of the bed, fixing the pillows, making sure they’re good and comfy for them. Placing all of her stuffed animals above their heads, he turns the light off, leaving the lamp on and climbs in next to her. Covering her little body up, tucking his tiny Rose in, Axl lies down next after getting under the soft blanket, resting his head on the pillow next to hers and cuddling his little girl. “Welp, another long day here. Just us.” Eyes flickering to the phone, tears already welling in his eyes as it’s too silent. He’s been looking for another phone call, each and every night. From Erin. Last time she called, he hung up on her the second she began her same old shit. ‘I want to see the baby’, ‘The baby isn’t safe with you’, ‘I’m taking the baby’. Bull-fucking-shit. The baby is completely safe with him and hasn’t had to endure in damn yelling from them since he left her and got proof on her to use against her if she TRIED to get the baby took from him.

It doesn’t stop him from missing her though. He’s crying because he can make it work, Erin just doesn’t want to. Or..she wants to. But she’s too damn complicated to want to. Besides, she doesn’t even miss him or Eris. She’s just wanting to take her away to piss him off, right? That’s what he believes anyway. If she wanted either of them, if she loved him, she wouldn’t want to take Eris away, then she would learn to act right. That’s all he wants from her. Eris peels his attention away from the subject, disrupts the angering thought only for her to make the sad part of the thought worse as he watches her push herself up, chubby hand reaching and grabbing for Bubsy…almost like she knows. Knows exactly what he was thinking about and how she misses her too. That only encourages the tears in his eyes to spill, quickly wiping them away because he doesn’t want Eris to see even if she’s only a baby. It hurts him to be lying here without a mother for this child that didn’t even ask to be here, he feels like a good part of it is his fault that she doesn’t have one present. The thing that’s even more crestfallen is gazing at her, absorbing how sweet and innocent the baby is but she has no clue where her mother even is. Axl can’t help but be in despair, no more wistful thinking that Erin will actually straighten up for them. This is their life now, like it or not. He has no room to mope, even if it’s going to be extremely hard. Doesn’t mean he won’t catch himself at night yearning for her though, like now.

“What’s that you got? Playing with your bear?” Looking over the bear as she toys with it, her eyes only focused on her favorite toy. And of course that same bear belonged to Erin as a little girl before it ended up on her twin bed in her apartment those few years he was with her, remembering himself tossing it in the air and Erin yelling at him to ‘Stop! You’ll hurt him’ before he’d burst into laughter because it’s only a bear. Or using it as a pillow many of nights, rolling on top of it and finding it crammed into his back. Who knew it’d be in the hands of their daughter, merely three years later as HER favorite toy. Maybe she knows it was her mother’s and that’s why she loves it so much. It’s a little far off given she’s a baby, he knows. But it sure seems that way and it hurts his heart even more. Axl can tell by the look in her eyes that Eris isn’t ready for bed, it’ll take some time for certain. Which sucks, since tonight, he’s actually exhausted and drifting off to sleep. He even dozes off a few times before small hands pat him in the face, making emerald eyes fly back open to make sure Eris is okay. She is, it’s only his dad instincts on overdrive like always. But he comes to find out she’s only trying to crawl closer into him, melting his heart. The older redhead’s big arm comes to protectively wrap around his baby, pulling her in close to him, their faces so close he can begin to hear her little baby snores sounding from her nose. Making the bigger redhead smile, his eyes finally closing and them both at last drifting off to sleep.

Thankful for the full night of rest he gets without Eris crying from an accident or something else, he wakes up to a fully lit room. Sunlight making both redhead’s in the small bed appear so beautiful, strawberry hair gleaming in the sunlight. A little ginger girl and her ginger father snuggled together until she’s the first to wake, possibly taking that after her mother and small hands grabbing her father’s face around eight that morning. Eris’s face attacking his as she’s trying to give him a sloppy kiss which instantly makes his day brighter already. “What, darlin’?” Groggy voice heavy with rasp, clearing his throat and prying his eyes open. “Is this a puppy dog kiss?” he wonders, sleepily laughing to himself. Puckering his lips and kissing her cheek, “Huh!” She exclaims, which by now, Axl knows that means she’s hungry. “Okay, okay. Gimme a second though. Waking up isn’t as easy for everyone like it is you.” Smiling in amusement, sleepiness gracing the male’s young features as he smiles up at the little girl that’s like looking up at his miniature girl version of himself. Wondering how it is that babies wake up so happy anyway.

After five more minutes, Axl finally slides out of the bed. Placing the baby down on the floor so he can pee right quick even though she chases after his feet anyway by crawling after him, get his teeth brushed and from there on he starts their usual routine. He changes Eris, gets her ready and either makes oatmeal for them since it’s all he can afford in groceries or he’ll go over to Vicky’s, or sometimes, days like today when he just had a gig last night and got paid he’ll take his very unexpected companion in his early life – but his baby angel nonetheless – to a diner for breakfast. Walking in, dressed in a bandana, jeans and an over sized black shirt. Eris in her jeans, little white shoes and the pink top he picked out for her with strawberries on it. He doesn’t look like the type to be a father, the skeptical elder lady working behind the counter being a bit judgmental but she quickly changes her mind when she watches Axl a bit longer. Noticing how kind he is, getting out the high chair, talking to the baby as he places her in it and gives her the brown little bear that he brought for his child. Kissing her head after sitting down next to her, pulling out the crayon book with the crayons he also brought her, the older lady smiles at the redhead’s once she heads their way to take his order.

Breakfast goes nicely after he swallows his waffle, bacon, eggs and sausage links with much delight and Eris seemed to enjoy their time at the diner as well before Axl is paying and they head back home. The rest of the day consists of them watching tv, playing and napping until the singer is being woken up from a loud ring. Flying up from the living room floor, glancing around a few times, taking a moment to come back to reality. The baby is still on the blanket sleeping he notices before he’s scrambling to get up, picking the phone up from the end table, Axl holds it to his ear, “Hello?” Speaking into the phone, confused until he hears Duff’s voice on the other end asking what he’s doing. Brows momentarily crease in confusion, wondering what he’s on about before it hits him. A show! He has another fucking show tonight and he didn’t even get a babysitter. “Shit. I fucking forgot. Uhh– I’ll be there in a second.” Hanging up before Duff can even say anything else, going into total stress mode as his fingers slip through the roots of his hair. Wondering what the hell he’s supposed to do now as he glances over at Eris. “Fuck.” Hands colliding into his face, roughly rubbing it in frustration before he takes off into his bedroom. He’ll worry about it in a second, he has to get dressed. Throwing off the jeans and his shirt, flying behind him and landing in the floor next to his bed. He raids his closet, yanking down the leather pants, hopping into them, absently tying the laces in the front a little too tight, going back for another piece and yanking down a black Thin Lizzy shirt, throwing it over his head and then pulling on his cowboy boots by the bedroom door. Quickly fumbling for his snakeskin belt, wrapping that around his thin waist and latching it, he’s throwing on his jewelry. Rings for his fingers, usual bangles for his wrists and changing out the cross necklace for a difference cross necklace around his neck before lastly grabbing his leather jacket, throwing it on and quickly walking back to the living room. Eris is stirring by time he comes back, which is a good thing. At least he doesn’t have to be the one that disturbs her sleep.

“Hey, little girl. So we’re doin’ somethin’ different today. You’re just gonna have to go to this thing with me.” Picking her up, he grabs the blanket, stuffing the bottle in her diaper bag, Bubsy and the car seat before hauling it out of here. This is a crazy idea. A rock show is no place for a baby, but he has no other choice. Kicking the door shut with his foot, he locks it real quick before flying down the steps and making it outside to wait for a taxi to come by until he’s climbing in a few more minutes later. Out of breath, it’s nice to relax the time he’s on his way there. Putting Eris in her car seat and situating her. Bubsy being placed next to her, draping the blanket over her little body and Axl is sitting back to enjoy the rest of the few minutes by himself he’s got before everyone looks at him like he’s crazy for bringing in a baby. He’s hating the second the car comes to a stop, nearly cringing because he does not want to get out but of course he eventually has to do the dreadful task at some point. Groaning, he’s digging out some cash, handing it over before he’s getting out, grabbing the car seat and the diaper bag, shutting the door back. A man dressed in leather from head to toe must look like a sight carrying a baby into a venue where the rowdiest party goers have already swarmed their way in, but especially being the lead singer. Slipping through the backstage door, the door attendant is already giving him odd looks at the smiley little baby he’s carrying around before the redhead makes his grand appearance with her and the looks have already began once he places the car seat down on the couch.

“Dude, what the fuck! You can’t just bring little tater tot here! This isn’t fuckin’ Sesame Street.” Steven comes hounding him, Axl rolling his eyes and feeling the fire already building up inside him because he predicted it. “Well, I don’t have anyone else to watch her so there’s not much of an option.” The redhead grumbles, unbuckling Eris, “Isn’t she old enough to BABYsit herself?” Slash doesn’t really mean anything by it as he stands off to the side dumbly rolling off lame jokes and the other two guys come walking in right as Axl is taking offense to it anyway and blowing up on them both, “She’s a fucking baby! In a crib still! I’m doing my best, why don’t you fuck off before there’ll be NO show?” Barking, punching Slash in the arm and full on attacking Steven as the drummer begins to open his mouth AGAIN but Axl doesn’t let him finish before they go wrestling in the floor. “Woah woah, hey! HEY!” Duff is the peacemaker as usual, grabbing Axl while Izzy grabs Steven and Slash is wandering back off. “Ax, is doing his best, okay? Everyone needs to take it easy.” Duff lectures, Axl sending daggers towards Steven as he stumbles backwards into the bassist, still ready to rip his throat out if he has one more fucking thing to say about Eris. Steven realizes Duff is right and decides to leave it while Axl is pushing Duff back away and tending to the child that’s began to cry from the yelling and fighting, picking her up, giving her a few bounces and kissing her cheek to make her feel better again. “I’ll call my girlfriend. She can watch Eris. It’ll be alright, Ax. Chill.” Giving his shoulder a pat before waving at Eris and then hurrying off to get his girlfriend on the line. Axl settles for that, although he’s having second thoughts. He’s crazy about the well being of this little girl and whose hands she’s in. He hopes he can trust this lady enough to take care of her for two hours.

It works out fine, for the most part. The security men watch over the baby they sit with for thirty minutes of the show that Axl has to start before he can wait for Duff’s girlfriend until she finally shows. It puts stress on him the whole time though, he does this. Let’s any little thing make his head swell until it feels like it’s going to pop off, not sure why it is he gets so stressed when something isn’t perfect. But it’s during a solo in Rocket Queen, half way through the show, that he takes the quick moment out to check on his baby only to find Duff’s girlfriend and half naked groupies accompanying his child that makes his anger go through the roof. They’re not hurting her, not exactly. Half of them are giggling at how weird babies are and the others are giggling at how cute this one is, or wondering if she was one of Axl’s mistakes from lack of protection or if one of them can get pregnant by him too as a joke. Or maybe they’re serious. Who even knows with these type of women, the scummiest you can find on the strip. “What the fuck’s goin’ on?” Throwing his hands up at Duff’s girlfriend, he didn’t tell her to bring people along or let people around his kid. Shaking his head, fuck this. He goes back out there, finishes the stupid fucking song but then announces the premature end to the show, “Good fucking night,” before chucking the microphone at Duff’s back. Leaving everyone confused but they’re so drunk, they can’t even tell the difference. Axl storms back through the curtain, stomping down the three steps before his feet hit the concrete. “What are you idiots here for?! Get your fucking hands off of her! AND YOU, tell Duff he can thank you for cutting the show SHORT.” Face red with anger, never has he been this infuriated in awhile, all the girls are left stunned as he snatches the child back away. Buckling her into car seat, gathering her things and gathering his own shit before storming out of the building shirtless with his clothes draped over his free arm.

Slamming the damn door on a taxi cab once he finally gets one, he’s even taking his anger and stress out on the taxi man up front, telling him to hurry the fuck up before throwing money at him and grabbing his kid again, climbing the hell out and slamming the car door once more when he’s back at his shitty apartment complex. The creaky steps thud with each hard stomp he takes going up them, chest and breathing heavy with rage, nearly breaking the steps and the handle on the apartment door once he unlocks it and twists the knob back with a little too much force. Kicking it in and kicking it back shut, a hard slam vibrates through the hall that can be heard from anyone’s room. “You know, you’re really fucking things up for me.” Slapping the phone off the table as he passes by it, crashing in the floor. Placing the car seat down a little roughly, shouting directly at her, “Everything! You’re messing up every-FUCKING-thing! And yeah, fucking. Don’t know why I even bother trying not to say it AROUND you. You’ll just turn out as a FUCK up just like me ANYWAY. Cause you know why? You’re MY stupid kid. I’ve never been anything but a piece of fucking shit, so don’t expect to be anything greater than that.” The little girl wastes no time breaking out into a high pitch cry as she stares up at her father that suddenly isn’t her sweet daddy any longer. And she’s his kid alright, with a set of lungs like those that kill his ears immediately. “Shut the fuck up!” Losing his temper, swatting at anything in sight, the lamp goes falling over, kicking toys out of the way, the crying gets louder until it’s outright ear piercing screaming and finally Axl just leaves her as he storms to his room, slamming the door shut behind him and throwing himself down on the bed as the crying doesn’t stop outside of it.

Listening to her cry makes him angrier until the song coming on the radio makes him snap out of his dark world of anger, snapping him back to reality where he can hear his child crying for him, not some nuisance. Not some fuck up like the person that just took over him like a storm shouted. ‘Little child, dry your crying eyes, how can I explain the fear you feel inside because you were born into this evil world....’ The song by White Lion plays through the dark room, bringing tears to prick at Axl’s own eyes until he’s breaking out into his own sob. Hating everything about himself in that moment as the heart wrenching lyrics tear him apart because they speak to him. They explain to him how his young life, from the time he was a newborn until now, started out so evil. He wasn’t sheltered and now he’s brought another little child without any sheltering too. The father may be damaged and young but he does not want his own child to go down this road. It doesn’t matter how young he is, he has to figure himself out and figure himself out quick.

Look at him. Already yelling at her, blaming her for things that are no way her fault, just like his stepdad did to him. NO. He won’t be him, he refuses. The little girl deserves the world and a parent, a good father that’s there to protect her not scare her or make her cry. Leave her feeling so alone in this God forsaken world. Sucking in a breath, Axl gets up and tears out of the room. She feels like she’s miles away he wants to get to her that bad when she’s only a few feet away still crying on the couch, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Immediately apologizing once the door swings open, his little child crying her eyes out that works so well in making him cry all the more. Tears pouring down his cheeks, down hers. “Daddy didn’t mean that. He didn’t mean it at all. I’m sorry, please forgive me. I love you.” Sitting down on the couch, unbuckling her and taking her out of this lonely car seat where he abandoned her at, cradling his baby so closely to him, “You didn’t mess anything up.” ERIN did. His stepdad did. His mother did. “You won’t be like me, sweet child. You’ll be better. And daddy’s still going to give you that life that he promised. I love you so much, my angel.” Sobbing through his words, trying to quit for her sake. “I won’t yell no more.” Smothering her face in kisses, the guilt might as well drown him already because he’s certainly feeling it gnaw at his heart until it hurts to breathe.

When the pair has both calmed at least, Axl raises his head from it being leaned against hers when he gets an idea, rising to his feet and taking Eris over to the shelf where the music is, “Look, look. Let’s play a song. This will be my song to you.” Chuckling a little happier through the tears as she seems content again too, fumbling in his cassettes and pushing it into the player before a beautiful vintage sound begins to fill the room the moment the two notes begin to chime with The Temptation’s gorgeous song My Girl. “I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day, when it’s cold outside…I’ve got the month of May. I guess you’d say, what can make me feel this way? My girl. My girl, my girl. Talkin’ about my girl.” Axl sings along to her, quickly putting a smile back on the little redhead’s face as he dances around the living room with her in his arms. “I don’t need no money! Or fortune or fame, I got aaaaall the riches, baby. That one man can claim.” Laughing in the midst of his singing, gently throwing her up before catching Eris. Continuing to dance and giggle with her until the song comes to an end, “My girlllll.” Kissing her face all over, grinning and more happy than anyone in the world to see his girl smiling and giggling again. And he does. He believes the song will stick, it’s too perfect for it not to.

The rest of the night goes smoothly after a diaper change that causes Eris to start crying again, but luckily that was all it was. Something different happens within that same night, Axl finds himself writing Erin a letter. If she won’t call, he’ll write her like he used to. He fills it with kind words, which is a change. He tells her that the baby misses her and she maybe should come home and stay for good…if she can promise him to clean her act up. Which is something he thought he’d never decide on. But he’s still not sure if Erin even wants them and he adds that too before signing off and sealing it, taking it down to the mailbox so it’ll send out tomorrow morning. With a bottle once they return back upstairs, he’s sending Eris off to sleep easier tonight than last. Eventually finding himself passing out in the chair he was rocking her in, Eris’s bottle finding it’s way slipping from her mouth once she’s finished and rolling off the chair but neither of them stir. Both redhead’s sleep soundly after such a draining day, content to just be with each other.

No show, no call, no letter from Erin. Not in a week. Not until another week later when he’s getting a call from his ‘manager’ to meet him at the beach, he’s offering a free meal to the boys in the band for getting closer to getting signed. That’s what he said. But when he and Eris arrive he finds something else after his manager tells him to come and look at something by the beach. Axl’s in his aviators, sneakers and a pair of jeans that fit him nicely, unbuttoned at his belly button while he lets the button up shirt he has on go open. Red bandana in his long fiery locks that lay beautifully around his shoulders, dancing against his face from the wind. And the warm wind feeling nice against his bare torso with the baby in his arm, both of them completely oblivious to who really awaits him at the shore line. But there it is. His breath, nearly taken away. She did this, she really did all of this. There’s no meal, there’s only…HER. Emerald eyes spot that dark beautiful curly hair and that gorgeous face from a mile away as he stops in utter shock at the edge of the steps that lead down into the sand, his heart stammers and a world of emotion swirls inside his head. Taking off his glasses to get a better look at the woman, sun in his eyes but he can still so perfectly see her. There’s no one in the world but him and her, it stops spinning completely. A part of him wants to run away while he still can, the part that wants to protect Eris with his life but…a bigger part of him…wants to run to her. And he does. He’s wanted to run to her for so long.

Tears prick at his bright green hues, legs trailing down the steps and taking off across the sand to do just that. Erin meets him half way before they collide in a long overdue embrace, both of them crying into each other as he wraps his arm around the model and she wraps hers around his neck. Her touch, her warmth. He can’t believe she’s actually here. For so long, thinking she was gone from his life forever, he can’t believe she’s HERE. Time stops right then and there underneath the golden sun with only them in it, looking at each other like they found their other half, and they did. They at least just rediscovered each other. “Happy Father’s Day.” Erin tells him in between happy tears and a gleeful grin breaks across his face. He should’ve known that’s what she was waiting up to do. God, he loves her. He fucking loves her.

“I gave up the job.” Erin next announces over the loud crashing of the waves, the wind blowing their hair everywhere. “Why? Don’t you want it?” Brows crease, but he’s so stunned he forgets how to even speak. “Yes..but.” He awaits her answer, a moment doesn’t even have to pass when she’s giving it right away, “But I want YOU and our little girl more.” She cries like it should be obvious, grabbing his face, green eyes staring into her beautiful blue ones he’s missed so much. He can’t shake the shock of it all. “And of course I want you. I want you both. I want to do better and I will, Axl.” To answer his question in his letter as she holds it up to him, she had it hiding behind her back the whole time. The happiness swelling his heart as his eyes fall on the letter briefly before glancing back up to meet hers again, all he can do is allow more tears to leak from his eyes, staining his shirt. It feels like a damn dream. “We want you too. Don’t you leave again.” Kissing her right on the lips, pulling away to catch his breath only to kiss her all over. “It’s mommy, Eris. Mommy!” Jumping up and down, getting her excited before the baby squeals, tiny hands reaching out for the brunette. Erin’s squealing just as much as she is, giggling and kissing her baby with her father’s hair and her eyes that she’s missed for far too long, she won’t do anything to jeopardize time with her again. “This is and will always be the best Father’s Day of my life. I love you so much, Miss. Everly.” That’s all she’s wanted to hear and that’s all she’s wanted to say. “I love you so much, Mr. Rose.” Sweet words are exchanged and another kiss that’ll lead into many more kisses tonight close the space in between them as the sun begins to sink to rise a new dawn between them in the morning.

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axliconss · 8 years ago

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Words and Phrases To Include In Your Sex Scenes

Appetite -

craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal

Arouse - agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up

Assault - attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound Beautiful - admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting Brutal - atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild Burly – able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed Carnal - animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean Dangerous - alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous Dark - atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched Delicious - enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty Ecstasy - delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled Ecstatic - delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild Erotic - amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing Gasp - catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, winded Heated - ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous Hunger - appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst Hungry - avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting Intense - forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous Liquid - damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping Lithe - agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry Moan - beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl Moving - (exciting,) affecting, effective arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling Need - compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen Pain - ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart Painful - aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded Perverted - aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vile Pleasurable - charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent Pleasure - bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heaven Rapacious- avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering Rapture - bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy Rigid - adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering Sudden - abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning Thrust - (forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel (push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick Thunder-struck - amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken aback Torment - agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe Touch - (physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrap (mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize Wet - bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water Wicked - abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched Writhe - agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yank

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