awonderfulworldbuilding - Tumblr blog

awonderfulworldbuilding · 2 months ago

Text

Dogs are Weird

It’s safe to say humans will likely be a ubiquity through the galactic community, for the most part. Many of us have a tendency to go beyond, to see new things and forge frontiers. Undoubtedly it must be true of many other species, especially those that make it to space all by themselves, but it’d be wrong to discount it simply because we’d be one of many.

Of course, on the odd ship that permits sufficiently domesticated and socialized fauna (‘pets’, if one wants to be informal) alongside sophonts, we’d be accompanied by a wide variety of fellow mammals. Small, fluffy creatures that yip; elongated and sinuous animals, borne on stout legs and bearing long snouts; friendly yellow beasts with lips pulled into a smile and fur like a shag carpet; maybe even muscular guardians, originally bred to fight or to protect - though hopefully more well-tempered by now. Maybe even variations of them we can’t yet envision will accompany us by the time we can bring them to the stars.

Aliens might be deeply confused when they ask about what any one of these are, just to get the same answer: a dog.

Domestication and selective breeding won’t be unfamiliar to most aliens. Even being in the company of (ancestrally) efficient social predators that can enmesh well into the hierarchy is likely not to be as odd as one might think. But even among our own throng of domestic mammals, canines outshine them all in one way: variation.

Only 7 sets of genes (containing ~25 genes total) control the size of dogs, and just a couple need to be mutated to drastically change dog size. The difference between a chihuahua and a mastiff lies on these genes. Compare this to cats, who tend not to have much size variation in spite of a history of focused selective breeding spanning around the same amount of time as dogs. It’s argued - and not questioned - that dogs may have the most phenotypical variation of any land mammal, extant or extinct, within a single species.

It’s entirely possible that many aliens may never have domesticated a species with such a simple control for massive changes. They’ll see us come to the stars with an endless menagerie of creatures under a single name.

On one last note…we often sing our praises of our capacity to pack-bond with just about anything; but dogs also chose to pack-bond with us those 30,000 years ago, and they chose to do it again and again and again…

Just as we pack-bond with our new allies among the stars, dogs will likely trot and frolic with all manner of aliens as well. They’ll tussle and fight over toys just as excitedly with insectoid hounds and scale-clad schnauzers as they do already with us and each other, while we sit on the side with our extraterrestrial friends and watch them, just as we always have.

390 notes · View notes

awonderfulworldbuilding · 2 months ago

Text

It's cute that humans make domesticated forests with just fruit and nut trees.

"Orchard" yeah ok, you domesticated a forest is what you did. Look at it. It's got symmetry.

5K notes · View notes

awonderfulworldbuilding · 2 months ago

Text

When my family gets lost or separated from each other we whistle! I get weird looks but I'll just hold up a finger then you'll hear a response from across the store and their face goes from confusion to delight.

My brother and I have a distinct three note whistle we use to echolocate each other. It has backfired in a mall once when some guy kept whistling back at me. I kept going in circles looking for my brother until I noticed some random guy laughing at me.

Unrelated but I was once out with my roommate on 6th Street and someone comes around the corner calling her name like "I knew that was you bitch. You have the most distinct laugh ever"

For reasons known only to adolescent girls my friend Kate and I started communicating with extremely loud calls of, “Ka-kaw!” at some point during high school.

When trying to locate each other on the quad in lieu of cell phones we made do with good old fashioned screeching. The first call was always a lower tone. When one of us heard the cry we’d immediately echo it back at a higher pitch like dinosaurs playing Marco Polo.

This was probably obnoxious for all our classmates but man did we zero in on each other right quick. It was great. I never had to look for her in a huge crowd I just had to unleash my lack of social decorum in sonic waves. My only defense was that we only used it for out of doors. We weren’t monsters.

It served us extremely well the one time we went skiing together. She was a newer skier and got off the ski lift before I did after a stroke of bad luck and poor planning on our parts. By the time I had my skis on the snow I couldn’t see her. Worried, I took off down the mountain, not spotting her.

I planted my skis when I realized I must have passed her somehow. She couldn’t have made the same time as me. I threw my head back and shrieked, “Ka-kaw!!”

The sound cut across the cold thin air, sharp and carrying. To my delight and the surprise of several snowboarders going past me there was an answering “Ka-kaw!!!” from further up the mountain, reverberating joyously.

I’ve had this turkey post pinged several times, I can only say that I’m glad my friend and I aren’t the only bird girls out there.

#my mom started this #probably because of me #ive always been a wander off type

18K notes · View notes

awonderfulworldbuilding · 2 months ago

Text

So I love this idea. It also neatly encompasses a different post I saw to the effect of "human: *crying red faced, licking fingers* omg that's delicious what is it? Alien: our deadliest poison.... Human: omg wow how much for a bottle? My mom would love this"

Because why is the human eating poison, right? But what if it is because the aliens have realized things that would kill them are things humans might like. So they do these experiments. And like, are they ethical? No, it's absolutely not ethical to put poison in your shipmates food to see how it affects them. But like. Itd be interesting.

This goes back to the horror that is the things we as humans have done to find out about the human body.

I recently learned about a guy who got appendicitis in Antarctica and bc he was the doctor on the expedition, man's gave himself a local, propped up a fuckin mirror and TOOK OUT HIS OWN APPENDIX. And then LIVED.

Field amputations would horrify aliens.

Ive gotten off topic. Alien scientists signing humans up for experiments with poisons.

I Am Menstruating, So Here's A Period Thought.

(Yes, it's about aliens again.)

We, as humans, eat a lot of food that other animals can't eat. Chocolate, grapes, avocados, broccoli, alcohol (although I did once have a cat who loved beer), caffeine, almonds, pistachios, macadamia nuts, any spicy food, tomatoes, the list goes on. Dairy products, everyone.

I am currently having period cravings. For hot cheetos, spicy ramen, raspberry-infused dark chocolate, and hot cocoa. Any and all of that would kill a dog.

But, would it kill an alien?

I once saw a thing that said that chocolate is a universally poisonous substance. And sure, I'll stand by that. If you give chocolate to any species except for humans, they will die. Miserably.

BUT! And this is a large but.

HUMANS ARE NOT ALL-POWERFUL, NOR ARE THEY ALL-IMMUNE!

Pokeweed (a little, deadly plant characterized by its red stem and purple berries) is absolutely lethal to us. One tiny berry will kill us. Oleander, a beautiful pink/red/white flower, can kill with any/all of its parts. Nightshade, recognized by its bright red berries, kills in less than 24 hours.

Aliens consider all of these plants to be delicacies.

Zygerin chefs whip up fabulously delicious hemlock soups for their patrons. Ytertjjijkis bakers utilize nightshade, pokeweed, and yew in all of their most famous pastries. Aàkî cooks use Oleander and destroying angel mushrooms in common garden salads.

But yes, chocolate is deadly to them. And the other 99.999% of the universe.

#i love this idea #things that would kill humans?#alien delicacies #things that would kill 99.99999% of the universe?#human delicacies #humans are deathworlders #humans are an interesting animal #humans are space orcs #humans are weird

1K notes · View notes

awonderfulworldbuilding · 2 months ago

Text

Humans are weird: They sing going to war

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

While serving alongside the human forces during the Torus Campaign I learned much of their strange culture.

Their need to stack foods in elaborate combinations which they call a “Sandwich”, their constant need to play “The Game” without ever explaining what it is unless to tell you that you have lost it, and even their obsession with petting anything within arm’s reach with an almost religious like dedication; but the strangest custom I only witnessed during the final stages of the war.

We had just deployed over the world of Obidon III and were launching a joint ground assault with the human forces. Enemy resistance was expected to be heavy and many would not survive the drop, but command believed that if enough forces reached the surface of the planet they could establish a beachhead and allow the rest of the contingent to be brought in.

During the decent to the planet all I could do was keep my eyes closed and hope beyond hope that we would survive. I was so lost in this trance like state that my friend Septem had to physically smack me on the helmet to get my attention and tell me to turn my radio channel to frequency 13.

I was confused at first since that frequency was being used for our human allies but he insisted that I would not believe what they were doing. So I reset my radio in my helmet to frequency and what I heard was something I had never expected on a battlefield.

They were singing.

The frequency was chalk full of voices in such volume that I had to turn down the volume but it seemed like every single human that was part of the attach was joining in the song. My translator unit was trying to keep up but the sheer intensity of the humans singing was causing it to drop in and out, picking up every other word.

I wanted to listen closer to them but the enemy flak began pounding the outside of our dropship. Each detonation sent the ship rattling side to side violently. I had just retightened my straps when a shell burst just beneath us sending a shockwave through the ship so strong it sent several of my comrades flying from their seats into the opposite wall. They hit the wall hard and did not get back up when their bodies collapsed to the ground.

All I could think about was how this was the moment I was going to die. This was the moment my existence in this universe comes to its conclusion and I return to the dust and atoms of the cosmos. And as I tuned myself to this reality all I could hear were the humans still singing over the radio.

They must have been going through the same amount of enemy fire as he was and yet still they somehow were still able to sing as if nothing was wrong with the world. I got so focused on their singing that I forgot about my worries for such a time that I was startled when the dropship landed with a loud thud against the planet’s surface and the boarding ramp lowered.

The following battle was a grueling six hour run and gun with the enemy as we tried to carve out a safe LZ for reinforcements. I got separated from my unit on more than one occasion and wandered into the human designated areas in the confusion.

To my utter surprise the humans were still singing.

Clad in their blue and gold armor, they broadcasted their voices from their helmet speakers as they advanced street by bloody street. One of them took shelter with me for a time as we prepared to rush a fortified courtyard which housed heavy anti air emplacement. I nodded a greeting to the human who replied in kind, yet their voice never ceased in song. I saw them rush around the corner and take several heavy rounds to their chest, but the shells ricocheted off the armor leaving only scratches on the paint.

I watched in disbelief as this wild singing human leaped over the barricade and slapped a detonation charge on the anti-air weapon before leaping back as it exploded the weapon. They stood in the smoldering flames to take a moment to catch their breath when a sniper’s round from down the street struck them in the head and blew out a large portion of their cranium. It was the first time during the entire battle I had seen a human die but I did not have long to contemplate it as the rest of the humans charged past, still singing, in the direction of the snipers shot.

Another hour of combat and the landing site was finally secured and reinforcements were brought in to take our positions. What was left of the initial landing force were sent back to orbit and recover and regroup from their losses. Out of my people’s forces I was one of twenty soldiers to have survived. I imagined the humans had lost equally as many until the pilot remarked that additional shuttles had been dispatched to carry their force back up. It seemed that despite the intensity of the fighting only three of their warriors had fallen in battle; one of them including the warrior I had watched fall.

I was beyond myself.

These reckless warriors had somehow survived one of the most intense battles the campaign had seen and only lost three of their number.

Once back on the ship the first chance I could I sought them out for an explanation. They were quartered in the lower reaches of the ship, isolated from the other contingents onboard.

Outside their area were two guards still in full armor that initially would not let me through until one of them recognized me from the fighting in the city. I was then led inside and found many of the humans feasting and laughing. Two long rows of tables had been setup facing each other; between them were several fires each with a different animal being roasted over them. At the end of the rows stood three large pyres of wood which held three bodies atop each of them.

As I passed through the humans many ceased their laughter and looked at me, their clouded eyes with suspicion. We made it half way through the throngs when a giant of a human stepped forward and blocked our path. They demanded to know why I had been let it in; going even further to say they will throw me out personally if the answer was not good. The guard who had recognized me said I had witnessed the last moments of one of the fallen and would speak of their deeds. There was a long pause as the large human glared at me, his eyes as cold as the crescent moon of my homeworld.

The human finally relented and let out a loud boastful laugh, clapping me on my shoulders and welcoming me to the feast. Those gathered around cheered and similarly welcomed me now as the ceremony proceeded once more. I could barely say anything as I was seemingly pulled into the celebration. I drank, I ate, I laughed, I even boasted of my own achievements during the battle.

At the height of the feast I was called forward to speak of the final moments of the human soldier I watched die. I learned their name had been Moris Yu, and had served in the human contingent since the beginning of the campaign. I spoke of his final moments, of how he charged the enemy alone and had single handedly destroyed their war machine. I spoke of the snipers bullet laying him low to which all the gathered humans spoke as one “To Odin’s hall he flies.”

With that pyres were set on fire and the bodies slowly turned to ash. I imagine it had some significant ritualistic meaning in human culture but it was beyond me.

After the funeral I asked one of the soldiers the question I had come to them with.

“Why do you sing in battle?”

The human took a long huff from a wooden pipe and blew a cloud of smoke before answering.

“Long ago, my people were raiders and conquerors of the sea.” They began, “Our gods watched over us and should we prove worthy we would be sent to them to join them in their halls and fight alongside them for eternity.”

“There was one warband led by a giant of a man called Osmond Frig. He loved song just as much as he loved fighting, so he made his warriors sing during every fight as it made him happy.”

“They agreed to such silliness?” I asked, to which the human grinned.

“They did after he felled the first three men who laughed at him with a single blow from his axe.” They finished before continuing with their story.

“What was truly surprising was not the sight of these warriors singing, but rather the fact that they were rather good at it. It was said they could make the Valkyries themselves shed a single tear with their songs.”

“Eventually one of the gods, Bragi, noticed Osmond’s warband and took a liking to them. Much like the Valkyries he too was moved by their song and decided to reward them with his patronage. He used ancient magic and made it so as long as the warriors sung they would be impervious to harm of all kinds.”

“So the warband grew in fame and glory as they went conquest to conquest, emerging from battles against impossible odds with nay a scratch on them. First across the northern seas, then across the continent of Europe, and then soon the entire world knew of Osmond; which is when they finally drew the attention of the king of the gods, Odin.”

“Odin watched these powerful warriors and wanted them in his hall for the eternal battle, yet despite every challenge they faced they emerged victorious. No matter what enemy Odin placed in their path or scheme he unleashed on them they refused to fall. Odin knew of Bragi’s patronage and tortured the god to reveal his secret and after seven days and seven nights Bragi told Odin of the spell he had cast and how it could not be undone.”

“But that was all Odin needed to secure his warriors.” The human said with a devil’s grin.

“During the midst of the most recent battle Odin took the form of a mighty warrior and stalked the fields for his prey. He waited for each warrior to catch their breath and cease their song before striking and slaying them, one by one. By day’s end only Osmond remained to fight Odin and though he sang long into the night he too eventually gasped for air and was slain.”

“So that is why you sing?” I asked the human. ‘Because you believe your gods will protect you?”

The human chuckled and nodded to the three pyres. “Did you not say that Moris was only slain after he ceased singing?”

I wanted to counter him with some logic, some reason grounded in reality, but I could not. I left that human area with a profound new perspective of myself in the grand scheme of the universe.

The next time I was in a combat drop my comrades laughed when I began singing. I wasn’t sure if it was good or not, but I hoped that in some way the human god would at least find me amusing and let me live another day.

2K notes · View notes